Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Tuesday 16/12/14

2014 Review

Here is a list of my top 30 favourite songs of the year:

(oh and here's a Spotify playlist for them, but they are in ranked order, so it plays quite schizophrenic)


This is a song about pretending to be into somebody, because you want, say, to really take advantage of them, and you emotionally abuse them because that is the only way you know how to behave through the immense self-loathing that your own refusal to accept your sexuality has caused you, leaving you terminally and irreversibly damaged and unable ever to connect with another human being or let anyone in. 


This is a song about breaking up with your partner while still staying at their place, then seeing them out and refusing to acknowledge them even by saying hello, but then suddenly becoming very, very friendly towards the end of the night, because you’re realising that the only way to get back home for free is by faking an interest in them all of a sudden, despite having spent the evening making out with random people in different areas of the bar/club, since you’ve still got your partner wrapped around your finger and they will pay the fare for the taxi home you have manipulated them into sharing with you, then getting home and stopping to talk to them again, because you’ve broken up, all right, which part of this don’t they get?


This is a song about pretending to be a masc musc bro by wearing Nike and backward hats exclusively, so much so that they seem glued to your stupid forehead, but in fact treating life and everyone around you with such cowardice, callousness and lack of respect that your objectively formidable physical presence becomes a parody of masculinity, not to mention the most ironic physical vs. spiritual juxtaposition the planet has seen since the diminutive Napoleon Bonaparte decided to take over the world (but in reverse)


This is a song about lemonade luh luh lemonade


This is a song about getting some sort of weird pleasure from always pursuing relationships that can only end in disappointment, which can range from just minor heartache to life-crushing devastation that leaves you on your knees unable to face the world around you, because you exclusively focus on dumb, hollow criteria in choosing your partners, like the colour of their eyes, circumference of ass, height in centimetres because inches don’t provide the level of detail you require and you are very specific about height, and you are using those criteria presumably to cover for your own unsurpassable insecurities and lack of self-esteem, which must stem from never receiving the love you needed as a child, even though looking back it seemed like a decent enough upbringing, but what do you possibly know about the beatings your poor subconscious was taking in that affluent suburb of Athens in 1989?

























As you may notice this is just a remix of the number 1 song above (which is, in fact, the best song of the year) and this remix takes one key line of the original song (I'm not going to tell you what it is, you have to listen to it) and repeats it on a loop TWENTY TIMES at some point until you nearly get a headache, which now makes this a song about moving on and being happy and leading your fortunate, blessed little life where you don't have any real problems and everything goes your way and you'd really have to be a little bitch to keep complaining, so in fact you don't, and you admit that you're actually happy and content and looking forward to everything that 2015 has to offer.

Here is a list of my top 15 favourite albums of the year:

1. Caribou – Our Love

2. Chet Faker – Built On Glass

3. Lykke Li – I Never Learn

4. Lana Del Rey – Ultraviolence

5. Royksopp – The Inevitable End

6. Morrissey – World Peace Is None Of Your Business

7. Sophie Ellis-Bextor – Wanderlust

8. Jessie Ware – Tough Love

9. How To Dress Well – What Is This Heart?

10. GusGus – Mexico

11. Sam Hunt – Montevallo

12. Kele – Trick

13. First Aid Kit – Stay Gold

14. SBTRKT – Wonder Where We Land

15. Ryan Hemsworth – Walk Me Home

And there we have it, the (musical) review of the year.