This was something somebody wrote to me on Twitter, I think, about a year ago when I first mentioned that I was planning to move to Los Angeles.
“All the guys in West Hollywood are running around with their dicks hanging out”.
This beautiful metaphor was employed to mock my intentions of moving to LA, in a relationship, to settle down. (Have I mentioned enough times that this wasn’t my choice?)
On one hand I don’t know if this aphorism is specific to West Hollywood, or if it applies to every big city with a large population of young gays. By "young gays" I mean men aged 16 to 50, of course, as gays never grow old. For example, would it be less laughable a concept planning to move to Sydney, in a relationship, to settle down? What about NYC? Or London? On the other hand, and I understand this might just be a personal issue, LA fucking scares me.
With London, I have the sense that, despite the clubs and the drugs and the parties (and there are more clubs and drugs and parties in London than anywhere else I’ve ever been) and despite the high turnover of transient gays on steroids there to make money and have a good time, I could still maintain a relationship. In London, I feel more trusting of people. In London, I also feel loved.
That’s not the case in LA. In LA…I don’t know. I just have a crippling fear of that city. Love is not a feeling I associate with LA. Not love towards me, in any case. If I went back there, and it would be with a serious intent of self-harm if I ever did, I would have to attempt to build up my trust with the city and its people. Right now, in LA I feel humiliated.
When I was putting this question to my friend, Lane, the "why are people not reacting to this?" question, he just said:
"Because we’re gay. This is expected. This is a culture where you’re at a dinner party, then three people disappear from the table and the next thing you know is that they’re all fucking in the bathroom. You think that anyone will raise an eyebrow at some WeHo queen changing boyfriends all of a sudden?"
And I don't want him to have a point, but I don't know that he does not.
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