Saturday, 18 December 2010

Friday 17/12/10

I read Scott the last paragraph of my book and I gave him a summary of the plot explaining the theme and what I've written about and his comment was:

"It sounds sad"

[smiley]

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Saturday 04/12/10

Part A - Emails between Nathan and me

Nathan (quoting what I wrote in my last post below):

"I liked the CFCF mix of Trouble a lot, I looked him up on facebook because I'm a crazy stalker, I friend requested him because I thought he might be gay and I needed to get in there and have sex with him before he makes it big, sent him a message stating "You're my new obsession" (which is the opening line from Trouble), he ignored both the friend request and my message and now I HATE HIM."

I miss this side of you.

Me: I’m still the same…no?

Nathan: You're the same. But you're less randomly mental as you have ___ and ___ and therefore are more invested in sane endeavours than insane ones.

Remember the halcyon days when life was all about emailing random people because they may be gay and you might want to sleep with them then obsessing over their lack of reply. Back before people overdosed in gas masks and rubber or had near fatal crashes on the M25.

As a friend, I'm happy for you. As an LP reader, I'm sad for my lost amusement.

I'll just have to wait for the book.

Me: Well, in that case I know what you mean. I guess I’m finding it a bit easier now to distinguish between the character that I wanted to write about and myself. I.e. I don’t need to do these things to write about them.

It was getting a bit crazy back then, admittedly. I was quite unstable and – I think – a little bit unhappier than I would say I am now.

Nathan: I can see that, hence the ‘as a friend I’m happy for you’.

I don’t think you were that crazy. Then again, I get you (most of the time… well… all of time in terms of appreciating your motivations, most of the time in terms of agreeing with them).

You’ll be happy to know, however, that your craziest period will forever be how many people think of you.

Part B - My top 10 music videos of 2010

1) In the sun - She & Him (by far)



2) La musique - Yelle



3) Giving up the gun - Vampire Weekend



4) Rude boy - Rihanna



5) Attack music - These New Puritans



6) Second lives - Vitalic



7) I love u so - Cassius



8) Barbra Streisand - Duck Sauce



9) Drunk girls - LCD Soundsystem



10) 15.6.6.9.3.9.14.1.18.21.13.56155 - iamamiwhoami

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Sunday 28/11/10

These are my lists for 2010:

Top 25 songs (ranked)
Top 15 albums (ranked)
Top 5 remixes (2010 remixes of older songs)
My Top 5 most played songs of 2010 (according to iTunes / last.fm)
My Top 5 most played albums of 2010 (according to iTunes / last.fm)

So here they are.

Top 25 songs

1. Body double - Pilotpriest

The full version of this song is over 12 minutes. What you need to do is buy yourself a ticket to LA, get yourself a car, someone that you love (I had all these elements apart from the last one, obvs) and drive into the desert in the middle of the night following Highway 62 listening to this song ON REPEAT. There are some rules: no one is allowed to talk / you can't drive too fast / you have to be a little upset, but nothing major. If you can't arrange for all this to happen - and I do know that I'm asking for a lot - perhaps you can lock yourself in a dark room, lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling. And tell me you don't like it.

2. ADD SUV - Uffie

Trust me, it's as embarrassing for me as it is for you having a song with a rap by Pharrell in the middle as my second favourite of the year. But you know how life is. Bad things just happen and you do your best not to kill yourself each day. On this occasion, the ridiculous production and this lyric ("Valium makes your soul get higher") are enough to make me forgive anything.

3. La musique - Yelle

I LOVE YELLE MORE THAN I LOVE ICE CREAM. That is all.

4. Royal T - Crookers ft Roisin Murphy

Early in the year soon after this song came out, I converted my living room into a dark nightclub that played this on a constant loop. There was no charge for entry and we were open 24 hours. We did some good business.

5. I feel better - Hot Chip

You know what? Listen to this song and sing along and tell me that you're not begging for another "ahaa ahaa" at the very end of the song (like the one at 1:57)

6. XXXO - M.I.A.

I know that you'd rather kill yourself and everyone around you than sign a text message with "x", but since this song came out, it's clear that the rules have changed and you can occasionally sign with "xxxo", in reference.

7. History - Groove Armada

Look, this is a song by Groove Armada and Will Young is singing it, so despite all this bad fortune it must be pretty good to be here, right?

8. Baby I'm yours (Aeroplane remix) - Breakbot

I tried very hard to make this song happen in my summer holiday to ____. It never did [sad face]. There is always next Circuit though.

9. Moon theory - Miami Horror

If you're extremely gay and aren't content with this version of the song, you can always try the Punks Jump Up remix "for some added beat LOLZ"

10. Someone else's bed - Hole

Does anyone like this album? It seems not. Oh well, I do.

11. Thieves - She & Him

Scott refuses to listen to the She & Him album all the way through, because he says she's too whiny. [sad face AGAIN]

12. Cooler Couleur - Crookers ft Yelle

This includes the lyric "dancing with the Crookers in a costume duck" and that's because Yelle is French and must have translated directly from her language, where the adjective follows the noun occasionally. I mean, come on, not even my English is that bad. Poor form.

13. I love u so - Cassius

An iPhone app exists for this song, which I had to delete about 250 pictures on my phone to make space for and then when I downloaded it, it wouldn't work. THANKS CASSIUS

14. Trouble (CFCF remix) - Fabio Lendrum

I liked the CFCF mix of Trouble a lot, I looked him up on facebook because I'm a crazy stalker, I friend requested him because I thought he might be gay and I needed to get in there and have sex with him before he makes it big, sent him a message stating "You're my new obsession" (which is the opening line from Trouble), he ignored both the friend request and my message and now I HATE HIM.

15. White sky (Cecile remix) - Vampire Weekend

Well this is quite fantastic, isn't it? This is what my days in California sound like.

16. The kiss - Pallers

This is one of those things that I find in random blogs and I really like very much, but no one else on the planet probably gives a shit about. But now you do too, so that's fine.

17. Not in love - Crystal Castles ft Robert Smith

I can't think of any amusing anecdotes about this song instantly I'm afraid and it's the last one I have to write about on the list, plus I only slept for two hours last night, so make something up yourself, ta.

18. Momma's place - Roisin Murphy

When this first came out back in January or whatever it was, I was playing it very loud in my living room on a Monday evening, only for my next door neighbour whom I'd never seen before (or since) to knock on my door complaining about the noise. He said he was in bed. It was 2130 in the evening. I was exceptionally happy when I looked at the building plan later and realised that his apartment is exactly half the size of mine. HALF. I hate poor people. They love to moan, don't they?

19. Giving up the gun - Vampire Weekend

The cover of this album features on my my music wall. My music wall is one of the walls in my flat, where I hang up record covers of records that I really like. Hmm, maybe I'll take a picture* of this and include at the end here.

20. Way back home - Bag Raiders

I can't decide whether Bag Raiders are the British Cut Copy or Presets, but they're definitely one of the two. Until someone points out to me that they're not actually British.

21. Stop and stare - Fenech-Soler

I saw Fenech-Soler live earlier in the year, with underwhelming results. Let me count how many of the 25 artists I've seen live now. Hmm, nine. That's OK, I suppose.

22. Dance yrself clean - LCD Soundsystem

Speaking of which, I saw LCD Soundsystem back in April, and it was so bad I nearly went off them for good.

23. Journey - Matt Van Schie

What a pleasant tune. The end.

24. Fan out - Surkin

Don't come complaining to me when somebody offers you poppers on the tube when you start listening to this on your headphones.

25. Nightcall (MMMathias remix) - Kavinsky

I follow Kavinsky on Twitter. Out of 1,190 tweets, I have yet to read one that can be rated more than 0.004% interesting. STICK TO THE DAY JOB, KAVO

Top 15 albums

1. Contra - Vampire Weekend
2. Sex Dreams And Denim Jeans - Uffie
3.One Life Stand - Hot Chip
4. Black Light - Groove Armada
5. Nobody's Daughter - Hole
6. Acolyte - Delphic
7. Volume Two - She & Him
8. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
9. This Is Happening - LCD Soundsystem
10. Business Casual - Chromeo
11. Illumination - Miami Horror
12. Bag Raiders - Bag Raiders
13. Tron Legacy O.S.T. - Daft Punk
14. Maintenant - Gigi
15. En Fin Tid - Diskjokke

Top 5 2010 remixes (of songs that came out before 2010) (no particular order)

Skinny love (Das Kapital rerun) - Bon Iver
Fuck the pain away (Skyrunner remix) - Peaches
Hurtful (A Copycat remix) - Erik Hassle
Re:stacks (Tomas Barford remix) - Bon Iver
Sweet disposition (Doorly remix) - The Temper Trap

My most played songs

1. ADD SUV - Uffie (128 plays)
2. XXXO - M.I.A. (127)
3. History - Groove Armada (120)
4. I feel better - Hot Chip (111)
5. Royal T - Crookers ft Roisin Murphy (105)

My most played albums

1. Sex Dreams And Denim Jeans - Uffie (385 plays)
2. One Life Stand - Hot Chip (320)
3. Contra - Vampire Weekend (229)
3. Black Light - Groove Armada (229)
3. Acolyte - Delphic (229)

*The record cover wall I was talking about:



In gold frames, two of my three favourite albums of all time (I haven't found the third one yet). In black frames, everything else.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Saturday 13/11/10

Does anyone want to book me to come and DJ? I'll come and DJ.

I can't mix.

Remember, my fee is $0

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Saturday 23/10/10

Right, so the story is that I got a deal for my first novel to come out.

That's quite good, isn't it?

If everything goes well and according to plan (and nothing ever does) it will be out in September 2011. There's even a set date, but I'll avoid quoting that at the moment, because there's so much bad luck you can invite in one post. The publisher is Glasshouse Books, who recently put out Boys & Girls, the anthology that contains my first published story.

I don't know how much I can say about the novel at the moment, so I'll say what I want and hope for the best. And by best, I mean the worst.

The title is the same as my short story - Exit Through The Wound. It will be published under my real name.

There is a similar theme to Exit Through The Wound (the short story), even though the main character is a bit different.

Also there is a VERY similar theme to the whole London Preppy blog, so hopefully if you were ever into that, you might also enjoy the novel. Potentially this could be the final London Preppy-related output I produce and having put this character to rest, I could move on to write different stuff. But this is looking too far ahead into the future. At the moment I'm working on the novel, editing material, writing some more stuff, etc.

Yesterday I wrote a blurb for the designer who will be creating the artwork for the cover. I had to sum up the plot / theme of the book to give her a feel for it. Here's what I wrote:

Living in London at the end of the first decade of the 21st century, Maine works a thankless graduate job, takes too many recreational and prescription drugs and spends too much of his wealthy parents’ money. He finds a kindred spirit in Sadie, a rich American girl now living in London with her male model boyfriend, and together they attempt to escape the city’s ennui and find purpose through a lifestyle of decadence and self-indulgence. But with Maine’s controlling family and unfulfilling day-to-day routine showing no signs of abating, is there really a way out?

So yeah, London Preppy with a plot and a girlfriend then.

OK, well that's that, wish me luck and see you on the book tour.

In other shameless plug news, Boys & Girls will be available at WH Smith's soon (in addition to the current retailers, Amazon and the Glasshouse website), plus as an e-book from November.

Finally, I'm writing Exit Through The Wound (the novel) on a strict diet of:



And NOTHING else

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Thursday 30/09/10

Thursday picture: A Girl and Grave

Friday, 3 September 2010

Friday 03/09/10

I said that I'd write a clubbing post next, but that's not ready yet, sorry.

In the meantime here's Part 4 of my favourite songs of 2010, covering July / August.

Links to previous parts are:
Part 1 (January / February)
Part 2 (March / April)
Part 3 (May / June)

Anyway, here's Part 4.

Some of these songs haven't been officially released yet, some of them are singles, some are album tracks, some are remixes. Anyway, they're all "out there" and you can find them and listen to them if you want. I've included a link where you can hear each song (just click on them).

1. Always loved a film - Underworld (this is insanely joyful. Obviously I don't recommend this to anyone who enjoys the darker moments of London Preppy)
2. Hang with me - Robyn
3. I look to you - Miami Horror
4. Over the hill - Monika (this came out a couple of years ago maybe, but it's Greek and I only just found out about it, so it counts for 2010)
5. White sky (Cecile remix) - Vampire Weekend

6. Devotion - Hurts (ft Kylie Minogue)
7. Ricky - Uffie (PS THE WHOLE ALBUM PLEASE)
8. If you return - Maximum Balloon (ft Little Dragon)
9. Scribble - Underworld
10. Pacific coast highway - Hole (or Honey - Hole, I can't decide)

11. Not giving up on love (extended version) - Armin Van Bureen (ft Sophie Ellis-Bextor) (this is my token uncool Sophie choice, but I love her and she's the most beautiful woman in the world. Also, I prefer the extended version as I said, but the link is to the radio edit video, where one can enjoy lots of lovely shots of Sophie frolicking around)
12. Love kills - Robyn
13. Pockets (Annie vocal mix) - K-X-P
14. Your wish is my command (CAASINO mix) - Clyde Brown
15. Way back home - Bag Raiders

16. Rosenrod - Diskjokke (it's difficult to pick a song from that album, because it's not exactly single/track driven, but there we go)
17. When your love is safe (Classixx remix) - Active Child
18. Don't turn the lights on (Aeroplane remix) - Chromeo
19. Lies (The Phantom's Revenge remix) - Fenech-Soler
20. Shadows (Jens Lekman remix) - Au Revoir Simone

21. Smoke and mirrors - Ali Love
22. Internet connection - M.I.A.
23. All to all - Broken Social Scene
24. On and ever onward - Dirty Projectors + Bjork
25. The drug - Royksopp
26. Superstar (The Krays remix) - Aeroplane
27. And I'm (so in love with you) - Andrew Butler

Finally, the most disappointing thing I've heard this week is Robyn's cover of Bjork's Hyper-Ballad, but that's not really a reflection on Robyn, it's more further evidence that Bjork is untouchable and should be left alone. By the way, I have a Bjork tattoo apart from the infamous Bret Easton Ellis one. Why doesn't anyone ever go on about me being mental because of that one?

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Saturday 28/08/10

Firstly, just to say that this is not a London Preppy post. This is not in character. It’s true, and it’s me writing it: NM.

Here goes:

There is a person who has gone too far.

This person has been contacting me for over a year now.

This person was leaving comments on the blog and then started emailing me.

This person set up a fake profile on GRINDR in order to track me down (last year when I was temporarily single and I was using GRINDR), found me, started sending fake pictures and chatting (extensively) to me.

This person discovered my original Greek name and surname (both of which I changed ages ago), set up a gmail address using my full Greek name and started emailing me from it. To put it simply, my current self was receiving emails from the name I used to have growing up.

This person found my sister’s profile on facebook and started sending me emails commenting on my sister’s profile pictures.

This person set up a fake facebook profile and friend requested every single friend of mine there, trying to get access to my information / profile / pictures. He used fake pictures of what gay men consider a hot, muscled guy, so several of my friends accepted his friend request (because I guess that’s what some of them do: hot = accept - it's their fucking prerogative) and he chatted to many of them. I never accepted his friend request (even when I didn’t know it was him yet), because I don’t friend strangers on facebook.

This person has set up at least four different twitter accounts that I know of to follow me on twitter and message me there. Every time I’ve realized it’s him and blocked one, he’s opened a new one.

This person has sent me more messages (via all these sites) and emails over the last twelve months, than any of my real life friends, boyfriend or family.

This person has contacted several of the people I interact with on twitter and my friends on facebook, asking them if they know me in real life and wanting to find more information about me.

I have made the mistake of talking to this person in the past, either because I didn’t recognize the significance of this situation (I have been naïve) or because I didn’t instantly realize it was him in one of his many, many online guises.

Today I found out that he created yet another facebook profile and started messaging friends of mine again, asking them about me.

Looking back over the last year, there is no other way to describe this situation, apart from terrorizing.

I have been naïve and stupid in the past, with regard to allowing access and volunteering information to this person about myself, when I now I realize that I shouldn’t have.

This person has spent a very significant amount of time being online, contacting me and people that I’m close to, using both his real identity and numerous other identities that he created specifically for this purpose. And this has lasted for over a year.

I make no assumptions on what this person’s end goal / motivation is. I don’t know and I don’t want to know. It could be that he’s just very interested in me as person and he wants to be my friend, it could be that he’d quite like to kill me. I’m not really up for either.

I have decided to go public about this using the biggest platform I have, my blog, because I’m a bit sick of it.

I don’t know if this is an exaggeration or not, but I feel that potentially there could be physical threat to me.

My close friends and my boyfriend know about this, of course, and they are aware of the identity of this person. In addition, all the messages I have received over the last year are stored; there is a record of everything.

I don’t know if posting this on the blog is a wise idea. It might annoy this person and give him the final push to come over and shoot me or whatever it is that he wants to do. But I don’t know what else to do – I’ve tried to manage the relationship / be polite and nice / I’ve asked him to back off. But over the last year this person has stressed me out like no one else before and has made me consider deleting my facebook, twitter, blog, stopping writing, etc. I don’t want to hear from this person EVER again, in any way.

I won’t pretend I don’t know what comes with putting yourself out there and creating a public profile like I have done through my blog and my writing, but I don’t think I deserve any of this and I want it to stop.

If I never write on London Preppy again, it will probably be because I’ve been left for dead in a gutter somewhere; but at least everyone will now know who did it.

Thursday, 19 August 2010

Thursday 19/08/10

I'm sure these things are connected to each other somehow, although maybe I'm just saying this to create a - very - tenuous narrative in this random post:

a) My latest tweet says: I'M OBSESSED WITH AMERICA(NS)

b) A friend in London sent me this message a few days ago:

Someone was chatting to me on ___ from abroad and you were given as a reference. See, even in Texas they know you: "Must confess the only thing I know about gay life in London is Chelsea and London Preppy's blog"

THIS PLEASES ME VERY MUCH

c) My next LP post will be a clubbing one. With pictures and verbatim comments. For old times' sake

Bye now

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Wednesday 11/08/10

I am overeating so that I get a stomach ache and take my favorite indigestion pills.

I often get so bored at home in the evenings that I wish somebody would break in.

I’m not ready for the winter clothes that have completely replaced the summer lines in shops

I’m about to give up on reading everything F Scott Fitzgerald ever wrote in order, just to pick up Kafka On The Shore after A Girl’s recommendation

I loathe myself for having felt more satisfaction when buying a magazine I was on the cover of in my pants back in 2008, than when buying a book I have written in this year

Never have things gone better for me, but I can’t help playing with fire and potentially watching it all fall apart

I rent one movie a day from iTunes, but never watch any of them. This has been going on for three weeks

I regret eight of my tattoos. I only have eight

I haven’t taken sleeping pills for two nights in a row and this is my biggest achievement this summer

I sneaked into the cinema when I was 15 to watch the film Kids. I had a dream about Chloe Sevigny last night

Some people don’t deserve happiness; and I’m one of them

Friday, 23 July 2010

Thursday 22/07/10

(This is in tribute to a friend )

Sunday, 11th April 2010

I turn the key, push the door, walk in my apartment.

On the Blackberry screen in my right hand as I turn on the lights, I’m reading a message from Porter:

“Sorry for the ridiculously long delay in replying. It skipped my mind on the day and just remembered now.

Thanks for liking what I sent you last month. I guess the way I write has changed a bit, yes. I actually can't read old London Preppy at all. I cringe. I almost understand why the haters hated. Anyway.

Is your job upsetting you still? Do you have to work weekends all the time?

Everything is going well in my life if I were to write things down on a piece of paper, but I'm feeling very melancholic. I haven't felt sad like this for a long while. I can't see the point in anything. See? I end up having ridiculous clichéd thoughts like that. "I can't see the point in anything". I'm sure actors turn down scripts on the basis of them including this very line, because it's so trite, predictable. But this is how I feel.

Maybe it's the spring. Maybe that's what's getting me down. Warm spring nights with the windows open, listening to music, nothing to do. I have money and love and relative youth and I don't know what to do with any of it. What do people do with their lives?”


I walk into the kitchen, put the phone down, open the refrigerator and take out a bottle of Krug Grand Cuvée, one of several resting on the top shelf.

Minutes, a Xanax, and half the bottle later, I’m writing back to Porter:

“All I can say in response to your question, "What do people do with their lives?" Whatever they fucking want. There are no guides. No answers. Just theories, some of which are paranoid, or disciplined or reasoned or just plain insane. All I can say to you is do what makes you happy. And if that sounds trite, I apologize for it, but I don't see any other way”

It’s now 7pm in NYC, midnight in London and Nathan instant messages on my Blackberry.

Nathan: Good night, love of my life x
Narrator: Night babe. I'm grumpy again. Argh. Oh well Sunday night I guess. Love ya!
Nathan: You are a funny man. Please don't work yourself into a state for tmrw. This week will be much easier than the last and things are gonna work themselves out.
Nathan: Culminating in me arriving Friday.Yay!
Narrator: Thanks babe, I love you :)
Nathan: Love you too x
Narrator: Night x

Over the next five hours, I:

take more Xanax, watch four episodes of 30 Rock back-to-back, am unable to rest, have three lines of coke, inject my left glute with Winstrol, log on, log off, log on, log off [ad infinitum] to at least four social networking sites, consume 6ml of GBL (in three separate doses, one after each line of coke, diluted in Krug [even though I almost recognize I shouldn’t be doing that]), play the Crookers album twice (repeating Royal T twice through each album spin), panic, come down, shave the sides of my head, panic, panic.

By around midnight I’m starting to feel like an animal trapped in a cage, pacing around, restless, shackled to, mainly, my own state of mind. To set myself free, I have to tie myself up. From a closet in my room, I take out: full body latex suit, gas mask, quick-release metal handcuffs. I put the bodysuit on, do another line of coke, wear the mask, climb on the bed, move my arms behind my back and force the handcuffs on. On my knees, bent over with my head on the mattress, the mild struggle I created myself straining me to a peace of mind, I get a head rush which finally helps me relax. As my chest tightens…

I sense my heart skipping a beat, I fall to the floor, I sense it skipping another, and my mind goes to Nathan: save me. As my heart skips the third beat in a row, I can sense no more.
____________________________________________________________________________

In other news, I've got a book out. Why not go and buy it here? (Don't answer that)

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Thursday 15/07/10

Me: I have to call a cleaner today and talk to her about doing my flat. I am scared of this phonecall.

A Girl: Who are you calling? We had a cleaner for years at our Swiss Cottage flat. She didn’t speak English, I have no idea how we communicated; I don’t think we did. When we let her go we gave her double her amount or something like that, and she left a note saying something like:

‘Thank you, I hope you be happy’

I almost kept the note; she seemed to know more about me than I thought.

Me: Did she write that in blood?

A Girl: Could have been, it’s too long ago to remember now.

Saturday, 3 July 2010

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Wednesday 30/06/10

"On Monday evening I’m attempting to pack for my trip back home, and if I were writing this the word ‘home’ would be in quotation marks, because I’m packing to go back to the place where I grew up and where my parents still live, all four of them, the place where I grew up but haven’t lived in for twelve years, the place that I haven’t visited for sixteen months, and I suppose maybe this counts as home, but I’m not so sure. Because home is Athens, Greece, a place where I heard a young cousin around my age tell a family gathering that if his son were gay he would ‘slaughter him on his lap’, a place where I was bullied out of school for being gay at the age of 11, when I didn’t even know myself, but several of my schoolmates inexplicably already did"

This is the first paragraph of my short story in the book Boys & Girls, published by Glasshouse Books, out in July and available to pre-order / buy now.

Plug plug plug. Plug in baby; tired of living

Saturday, 19 June 2010

Friday 18/06/10

Carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed I lie here charmed

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Wednesday 16/06/10

Here’s Part 3 of my favourite songs of 2010, covering May / June. Previous parts can be found here: January / February and March / April.

Sorry to keep writing the same introduction, but I don’t expect everyone to be reading every post: These songs can include anything from singles, album tracks, songs found on blogs that will never have a proper release, remixes, out already, soon to be out, whatever. Just as long as they are new from this year and I became aware of them in the last two months.

Here they are, clickable so you can hear them.

(Also, can I just say something. The real finds here are 5 and 6. I could easily sit down and write listening to these two songs on repeat. And I will)

1. XXXO – M.I.A.
2. Baby I’m yours (Aeroplane remix) – Breakbot (I included the original edit of this on a previous list, but I just heard this remix and oh-my-god, etc)
3. Art of uff – Uffie
4. Hurtful (A Copycat remix) – Erik Hassle (I've had the original version of this on my iTunes since March 2009 and it was one of my most played songs last year, but it took a party in Palm Springs where I recently heard this remix for me to re-obsesss for 2010)
5. The kiss – Pallers
6. Journey – Matt Van Schie
7. Here lies love – David Byrne & Fatboy Slim (ft Florence)
8. Illusion of love – Uffie
9. I can change (Stereogamous remix) - LCD Soundsystem
10. Why does the wind (Ewan Person remix) – Tracey Thorn
11. In it together (Polygon Palace remix) – Human Life
12. Alors on danse (DJs from Mars remix) – Stromae
13. Fascinate me (Fred Falke edit) - Florrie
14. Pick up the phone (Michael Van She remix) – Dragonette
15. Oh father - Sia
16. Glory of the night – Young Empires
17. You and my heart – Jack Johnson
18. Me and my guitar – Tom Dice
19. Love (club edit) – Visitor
20. Clay stones (Delivery remix) – We Are The World
21. OOPS
22. The phoenix alive (The Octans edit) – Monarchy
23. Love in darkness – Ali Love
24. Dimmakmmunication – The Bloody Beetroots
25. Jona vark (Shazam remix) – Gypsy And The Cat
27. Prayin' - Plan B
26. Is this on me? - Elite Gymnastics

And since we're halfway through the year, here are my Top 5 albums of 2010 so far:

1. One Life Stand - Hot Chip
2. Sex Dreams & Denim Jeans - Uffie
3. Black Light - Groove Armada
4. Contra - Vampire Weekend
5. This Is Happening - LCD Soundsystem

And by 5, I mean 8:

6. Acolyte - Delphic
7. Volume Two - She & Him
8. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles

Oh and since we're here, for old times' sake:



Bye now

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Sunday 13/06/10

I’m hanging at this pool party in a house in Los Angeles, because hang is what you’ve got to do, I’m back from driving some girl that I’m dating to the airport, back from dropping her off outside the terminal building, underneath a sign that says Arrivals, having told her to go in the building and look around, she’ll find it (“look around, you’ll find it”, I said) when she asked where exactly Departures were and why I’m dropping her off here.

She’s the love of my life, this month; she’s the girl I’ll grow old with, this week. I tell her the first half of each of these sentences a few times a day.

On the way to the airport she told me that she’s going to miss me, I teared up and told her the same, she said that she’s been waiting for this all her life, I told her I never thought something so wonderful would happen, I never expected this. She said our relationship is perfect, we belong to each other, I told her we’re one, nothing will tear us apart. She said we understand each other perfectly, our relationship doesn’t need any rules, I told her I’ll never want another girl for the rest of my life, I’ll never yearn for someone else, I’m way past carnal desires, she is the one.

Back at the party, it’s 2300, 0000, 0100 on this Saturday night and I’m shamefully high, a shame that I cannot feel. I’ve been partying since Friday afternoon. What I’ve taken: I’m unable to formulate lists in my head at this point, but the list that I need to make should include – four e’s, lines of coke not adding up to half a gram but not far off, one MDMA cap, two Adderall caps, a few shots of GBL. I came down on the way to the airport, I came back up on the way back.

I’m walking around looking for the next free hit from someone or the next person I want to talk to. As it happens the two are never combined.

There are nearly one hundred people in the house, hiding in rooms, splayed on couches, sharing showers, throwing each other in the pool, trying on sunglasses, smoking pot, swapping swimwear, crushing pills, cuddling on beds, taking pictures, dancing, shuffling, fucking, snorting.

I see Katie. She is tall, ridiculously slim and toned in a way that makes you think she can’t hold a real job (what must people think when they share an office), more attractive than anyone at this party. This pool party. In Los Angeles.
I kinda know her and she kinda knows me, although it might just be through facebook, so I go up to her and we talk for a bit, my friend Will walks up to us and joins in, oh look the three of us are now suddenly in the garden hot tub, a quiet spot away from the rest of the party.

Katie is sitting between me and Will, my right leg is touching her left, we’re talking about the song that’s playing loudly through the speakers, joke that the neighbors will call the police soon who will only turn up and tell us to turn the music down until we crank it back up ten minutes later, I’m staring at Will, Will gets the message, climbs out of the hot tub and walks back to the main party.

I’m here with Katie, I’m not sure exactly what’s happening though I know very well, I’m still very high, I’m very relaxed, I’m completely confused but utterly clear, Katie’s left arm over my shoulders, I’m massaging her neck, her ex boyfriend that she came to the party with somewhere in the house, maybe in the pool, the girl that I’m dating lost in the clouds on a plane somewhere, nowhere on my mind, I lean in and kiss Katie on the lips, both my hands on the back of her head, touching her hair, she kisses me back, she’s holding my head now, I feel high, I feel fucking amazing, this is my life, I’m kissing her more, I’m coming up, I’m coming up, I’m coming up, full stop full stop full stop. Full stops everywhere but not for another two days when I’ve finally come down. Full stop.

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Thursday 10/06/10

Hello. "I'm not the greatest salesman" and by that I mean "I am horribly embarrassed about promoting anything at all ever", but since I've wanted this for quite a while, I think I really should mention it.

The book of short stories that includes one I wrote is available to pre-order now. My story is called Exit Through The Wound, the book is called Boys & Girls

Info on the book here:

http://www.glasshousebooks.co.uk/book.php?book=9

Link to buy here:

http://www.glasshousebooks.co.uk/buy.php?book=9

It's £10. I really think you should buy it, for reasons that I can't identify right now, but I'm sure they're out there. Somewhere.

Thanks

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Tuesday 10/06/10

A Girl: Which of the following do you most identify with right now?

Image A:


Image B:


Image C:


Image D:


Me: 100% Image D. AND YOU?

A Girl: 10% Image A / 90% Image D

Me: This is interesting. Image C is my absolute favourite, but I suppose I can build up towards that state later in the evening.

What did you google exactly to get these?

A Girl: I really wanted my state be C as well but I’m not going to lie, it’s just not there today. I’m sure you will build yourself up to it later.

Scare and Die

Me: Thank you. You are a good friend.

Scare and Die. Of course; what else. I've been a fool

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Sunday 30/05/10

Marry me



I used to write a blog called what Preppy now?

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Thursday 27/05/10

I don’t care, I don’t care at all how this seems, I will always be absurdly excited about Eurovision, I haven’t missed one in the last 32 years and I will never miss one in the future. I’ve said this before, I don’t like it in a hilarious / let’s laugh at those ludicrous Europeans / oh-what-a-camp-night way, I like it the way that’s imposed on me, burnt into my psyche through the early years of the 1980s, watching it year after year on a small TV in my parents’ bedroom, a rare night in the year when I could stay up late, memories from a childhood that I’ve mostly blanked out, though this I still remember. And I know from when I used to live in London that Eurovision has become a camp monster in the minds of thousands of gay men, just another event on the gay calendar alongside a Kylie tour or a new Gaga video, but I also know that there are many boys – usually from the Continent – who like it for the same reasons that I do, because it was part of growing up and it makes you feel nostalgic and sad and lovely.

This year, I have a clear favourite and this clear favourite is Belgium. Mind you, I’ve only heard just over half of the songs, because I haven’t watched the second semi-final yet (as it hasn’t happened yet at the time that I’m writing this) and I haven’t looked online for the rest, but this will have to do.

The Belgian entry is sung by a Belgian person called Tom Dice. His song is called Me And My Guitar. I think this is Belgian for My Guitar And I.

Tom Dice is a young, white guy with a nervous disposition, tired eyes that look like he’s stayed up all night and an unfortunate mouth-to-nose ratio, so instantly I can relate 100%. In a direct clash with the rest of the entries which invariably invest in multiple dancers, pyrotechnics, elephants, kitchen sinks and scandalous choreography, Tom Dice just stands there with his guitar and plays his little song. He’s such a rebel you know. For the purposes of loving him (because I want to), I will choose to ignore that this is an equally cynical ploy to stand out and win votes, so you can shut up about it.

Tom Dice’s song is catchy enough, I guess, not that we’d care if it wasn’t at this point, though it doesn’t offer absolutely anything new when you’ve heard a million singer-songwriters before, but he is our preferred Eurovision entry this year and we’ll just have to put up with minor details like that.

His lyrics are laughable, and by laughable I mean brilliant, balancing between English-as-second-language sentimentality (hello me) and self-deprecating underdog nuances (oh hello), with all the depth and impact of sixth-form poetry written by a bullied teenager on a paper napkin and left out in the rain on a grassy field.

More specifically:

Tom Dice’s song starts with the magnificent self-referential line:

“People always say: ‘Tom this is going too far’”

This is instantly brilliant, and I actually think Tom is alluding to Bret Easton Ellis’ Lunar Park with this mixed reality and art technique. Well done, Tom!

Tom continues:

“I’m not afraid to change my dreams
Just me and my guitar”


Awww! Tom! We’re all rooting for you.

And then:

“And no one may ever know
The feelings inside my mind”


You know what, I’ve thought about this. Tom refers to the feelings inside his mind. If Tom wants to feel with his brain, who are we to stop him? For thousands of years lyricists have fallen victim to such clichés as ‘thinking with my head’ and ‘feeling with my heart’. Well enough of that. Tom is using the same non-conformist streak that made him play an acoustic song on the Eurovision stage, to change perceptions we’ve all had about that which human organ does what. And I’m all for him.

Then Tom goes on a bit more about chasing his dreams with his guitar or something and finally he gets to the song’s core, its existentialist backbone, with the following tortured couplet:

“So maybe I should get a nine to five
And I don’t wanna let it go
There’s so much more to life”


At this point, practically the whole of Europe is screaming “NO, NO, TOM! DON’T GET A 9 TO 5, DON’T END UP LIKE THE REST OF US. There IS so much more to life, and you’re going out there and get it buddy”, practically elevating him to a representative of the people, a Prince of Hearts, a hero for all us tormented office workers (I’m pretending to have a job now for the purposes of this) who gave up our dreams, got a 9 to 5 (I love that phrase) and can only live vicariously through the success of people like Tom, who broke away, followed the feeling inside their minds, didn’t compromise and chased the dream.

If Tom wins Eurovision, it will be a victory for everyone in Europe who has a job that kills them, for everyone who settled.

If Tom doesn’t win Eurovision, I fear the worst, because the proletariat has had enough, and this might be the last drop. I pray that I’m wrong, but I see bloodshed.

Here’s Tom.

Friday, 21 May 2010

Friday 21/05/10

I am making two playlists. One is called How Modern Do You Want It. It's for driving up the coast in California. The other is callled Weak As I Am. It's for driving into the desert in California. Saying that, I don't like the name for the second one much. Any recommendations?

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Saturday 08/05/10

Imperial Bedrooms, the sequel to Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis is out on the 15th of June.

Can I have an advance copy of Imperial Bedrooms from someone, somewhere now please? For God's sake, I have the guy's name tattooed on my arm. And 'Less Than Zero' down my back.

Bret?

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Sunday 02/05/10

Two months ago I put a post up with my favourite songs of the year so far. Here it is. Now it's two months later, and I have another Top 27.

Again, this is a random collection of singles, album tracks, remixes, released, unreleased, etc. Here they are with links to listen to them.

1. ADD SUV - Uffie (By far. And it has brilliant lyrics too. Apart from Pharrell's rap, which doesn't)
2. Dancing on my own - Robyn
3. Baptism - Crystal Castles
4. I feel better (Richard X remix) - Hot Chip (I can't find this, but trust me)
5. Fan out - Surkin

6. Nightcall (MMMatthias remix) - Kavinsky
7. Fool's day - Blur
8. On melancholy hill - Gorillaz
9. One touch - LCD Soundsystem
10. Better than love (Jamaica mix) - HURTS

11. Surkin - Easy action
12. Fembot - Robyn
13. Unspoken - HURTS (I can only find a remix of this on yuotube, but I meant the original)
14. Don't fucking tell me what to do - Robyn
15. Second lives - Vitalic (This is the actual video and it's very good)

16. Opposite of adults - Chiddy Bang
17. Kick - autoKratz
18. Celestica - Crystal Castles
19. Stop and stare - Fenech-Soler
20. Can't fight this feeling - Sophie Ellis-Bextor with Junior Caldera (I don't care how uncool this is. Well, OK, I care a little; enough to make this comment)

21. Sweet Carrie (Beaumont remix) - NightWaves
22. Vicious (DJ Agent 86 remix) - Fromage
23. Moon theory - Miami Horror
24. Supermenz (we're not) - Yuksek
25. One ring circus - Chloe
26. Panic attack (Fred Falke mix) - Florrie
27. Attack music - These New Puritans

In other news, here are two very good new remixes of songs that originally came out last year or the year before, so they don't quite count, but ON SOME LEVEL maybe they do:

1. Sweet disposition (Doorly mix) - The Temper Trap (I completely LOVE this)
2. Re:stacks (Tomas Barford mix) - Bon Iver (Damn, that's not on youtube but it's amazing)

In yet other news that nobody cares about, I saw Kavinsky (no.6 above) DJ'ing recently and he was AMAZING, I saw Uffie (no.1 above) live recently and she was OK and I saw LCD Soundsystem (no.9 above) live recently and they were shit.

That's all.

Friday, 30 April 2010

Friday 30/04/10

When I was young, and by young I mean half the age that I am now which means that I must be getting on a bit, I used to like music quite a lot, and by quite a lot I mean that I did nothing else, nothing at all, which is even less than I do now and I know how hard that is to believe.

One of my favourite bands back then was Gene. You may have not heard of Gene, maybe because you had better things to do, maybe because they were just also-runs in the whole mid-90s indie game, maybe because they didn’t have any real hits ever, maybe for other reasons; I’m not hear to judge. In any case, Gene were amazing.

I liked them so much that I bought all the albums of course, but I also bought every single they ever released in every possible format. After their first proper album (which was called Olympian and came out in 1995), Gene also released an album with ‘b-sides and rarities’. B-sides from the singles from the first album. In 1997 and 1999, they released their second and third proper albums (called Drawn To The Deep End and Revelations). During that time, I continued buying all the singles they released, and as my preferred format was the 7-inch vinyl, I accumulated quite a few of those.

By the time I was 20, I had ended up with quite a few Gene 7-inch singles with b-sides not available anywhere else on them.

Meanwhile, at that point (early 2000s) Minidisk was all the rage. Don’t ask me how, I can’t remember, but somehow around that time, I gave my Gene vinyl records to someone and they copied all those rare b-sides onto a single Minidisk, erm, disk. Then I forgot about it.

Over the next couple of years I threw my record player away, because I was moving around too much and it just wasn’t convenient to have anymore, plus I never used it anyway, which means that for the most past of the last decade, I haven’t been able to listen to any vinyl records. (I still have those, I’ve taken them everywhere with me and I’ll never throw them away. They’ve just been on various floors / shelves / cupboards in London / Sydney / LA gathering dust, until I was ready to move again and take them with me).

Maybe three or four years ago today, I also threw away all my Minidisks (maybe 100-200?) along with a broken portable Minidisk player, when I found them tucked away in a cardboard box in a storage space somewhere in West London, where I used to keep a lot of my stuff. I didn’t remember what was on those Minidisks and I didn’t really care at that point.

A couple of weeks ago, I went back to the storage space to get some of my stuff and found an old stereo that I hadn’t seen for years. As I didn’t have a stereo in the bedroom at the house where I’m currently staying, I took it with me. I brought it back home and plugged it in, realizing that the radio doesn’t work anymore because there’s no aerial, the CD player is empty and I have no CDs left, but the Minidisk player had one disk inside, a disk I had forgotten about, left there by accident.

The disk that’s there is the one with the Gene vinyl b-sides.

Over the last few days, what I do in the evening is stay in my bedroom playing forgotten songs by a broken up band, copied onto one obsolete format from another, songs not heard for years, songs that remind me of being 17, remind me of having grown older, not having done anything I ever wanted. And I’m pretty sure that there is not a single person on the planet that’s listening to the same songs, not a single person that remembers them, not a single person that will care about them ever again.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Tuesday 27/04/10

I mentioned this on twitter last week, but I thought I’d write it here as well, because…why not. I’m having a short story published in a book that’s coming out in June / July. I don’t know full details yet, mainly because I haven’t been paying attention, but I think it’s a collection of short stories by new writers. I’m publishing under my real name and my story is called Exit Through The Wound. I’d considered this title for a full length novel, but a) I like it very much, b) it fits the story in a metaphorical sense (i.e. I’ve made ridiculous allowances and convinced myself and everyone else involved that it fits the story), c) who knows if I’ll ever get the chance to publish a full length novel, so I might as well use it now.

As part of this, I’ve also been asked to do a reading at the London Literature Festival in July. In front of people. People who will be alive and breathing. And in great numbers (i.e. potentially more than 0). I’ll start looking for a victim to stand in for me shortly, but in the meantime, let’s forget about that.

I had to write a 50-word ‘author bio’ to be included with the story, and this bio is:

“___ is a suited wage-slave by day and a topless Nietzschean clubber also by day; and night. He has received around 1,100,000 hits on his blog, which converted into four stalkers none of whom have yet murdered him. ___ hides in London”

If you’ve read this blog in the past and liked it, I guess you’ll have a pretty good idea of what the story will be like. To draw a music parallel, it’s like a studio version of demos that leaked on the internet ages ago and everyone got for free, and now they’re being asked to actually pay good money for a more polished version in a physical format. I guess this didn’t work for Little Boots, but hey, I’m not a frumpy Northern lass who toned down her electro production to appeal to the masses with disastrous effects, so we’ll see.

I’m sure I’ll write more about this when I know. More.

Saturday, 17 April 2010

Saturday 17/04/10

Do you know what I would like? I would like innumerable editions of the book Less Than Zero. I would like it from different publishers, with different covers, in different languages, from different years. This is what I want to do with my life. Got any?

Monday, 22 March 2010

Monday 22/03/10

I've just finished reading The Great Gatsby for the second time in a row, I haven't written any fiction for at least two or three months (because I'm distracted, because I'm lazy, because I'm hopelessly in love), I've abandoned my novel after fifty pages, I've decided to give it another go, I'm split between the names REMOVED and REMOVED, I've come to the conclusion that my favourite young writer has got to be Nick McDonnell, I've left California, but I'm going back

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Sunday 07/03/10

Here's a list of my top 27 songs of the year so far. This year I'm ridiculously happy. That's all.

Some of these songs haven't been officially released yet, some of them are singles, some are album tracks, some are remixes. Anyway, they're all "out there" and you can find them if you want. I've included a link where you can hear each song (just click on them).

Oh also, I've kept it to two songs maximum from the same artist.

1. I feel better - Hot Chip
2. History - Groove Armada
3. Royal T - Crookers ft Roisin Murphy
4. Wonderful life - HURTS
5. Cooler couleur - Crookers ft Yelle

6. MCs can kiss - Uffie
7. Momma's place - Roisin Murphy
8. One life stand - Hot Chip
9. Thieves - She & Him
10. Love harder - Ali Love

11. Body double - Pilot Priest
12. Trouble (CFCF remix) - Fabio Lendrum
13. This momentary (Le Matos remix) - Delphic
14. Rocket (Richard X one zero remix) - Goldfrapp
15. Starry eyed (Jakwob remix) - Ellie Goulding

16. Lying around (Sharam Jay remix) - Cassette Kids
17. Skin machine - autoKratz
18. Giving up the gun - Vampire Weekend
19. Paper Romance - Groove Armada
20. Blood, tears and gold - HURTS

21. Alcatraz - Kasper Bjørke
22. Stylo - Gorillaz
23. Baby I'm yours - Breakbot
24. Hollywood (fenech-soler remix) - Marina & The Diamonds
25. A funny thing - Penguin Prison
26. O.N.E. - Yeasyear
27. Boy lilikoi - Jónsi

And while I'm here, my top 6 albums of 2010 so far are:

1. One Life Stand - Hot Chip
2. Black Light - Groove Armada
3. Acolyte - Delphic
4. Contra - Vampire Weekend
5. Tons Of Friends - Crookers
6. Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Wednesday 24/02/10

Do you know what, I don’t even know where I am at the moment, Hollywood, SoCal, London…

…but what I do know is that the Sunday line-up for Lovebox in London on the 18th of July is the best festival line-up EVAH. And wherever I am, I’m very unemployed, very mobile and very available. Just sayin’

Cut Copy
Hot Chip
HURTS
Peaches
Hercules & Love Affair
Chromeo



Oh Lord

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Wednesday 10/02/10

On Monday evening I'm taking Valium in a motel somewhere in the Californian High Desert, taking Valium with ___, first 5gm each, then another 10mg, a fire burning in the corner of the room, unseasonable rain falling outside, Have You Ever Been This Low? By Suede playing on a generation one iPhone (a silver one) a dinner reservation coming up at 2000, a dinner reservation we might attend, might not, because I just discovered three 5mg Xanax tabs in the lining of my sunglasses case, which I brought with but haven't served a purpose until now. The sunglasses, not the tabs.

Monday, 8 February 2010

Sunday 08/02/10

Awesome song + Awesome remix + Ridiculous video = WIN WIN WIN

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Thursday 04/02/10

Sorry to keep going on about this, but yes, it’s Suede again. Tickets go on sale tomorrow morning at 0900 (Friday 5th Feb). There was a presale over the last 12 hours which I only found out about now, after it was over. I did self-harm.

Please, please, please, please, please help me get a STANDING / ARENA ticket; this is a bit life or death for me. I know I’m usually pathetic and desperate, but this time I’m really pathetic and desperate.

Link is: http://www.seetickets.com/tct/

Remember: Standing / Arena. I will owe you blood. (And I’ll pay for it too, of course)

EDIT: No luck with this. Has anyone got tickets? Any more suggestions / help? I will pay more than face value / in sex / in blood, sweat, whatever takes your fancy.

Monday, 1 February 2010

Monday 01/02/10

Have I mentioned how exciting the Suede reunion gig is? Have I mentioned that my uncontrollable desire to attend surpasses any London Preppy-type "I don't care about anything, just sedate me and leave me to watch a world that's passing me by" old crap? Have I mentioned that I will fly back to London from the other side of the world to be there? Yes, I think I have.

The gig is taking place at the Royal Albert Hall on Wednesday 24th March.

Tickets go on sale this Friday 5th February at 0900 UK time.

I expect all hell to be breaking loose at that time, I expect the site to be crashing left right and centre, and I expect the gig to sell out within eight minutes. For reasons that I can't control (and this cuts me up real good), I can't be online at that point.

Can someone, anyone, who's planning to get tickets for themselves do me a tiny - and by tiny I mean huge - little favour? Can you get an extra one for me? (Of course I'm paying)

The website selling the tickets is this:

http://www.seetickets.com/tct/

This Friday. 0900 UK time.

I want to go and I want to sweat for every word and cry for every verse and bleed for every chorus.

There has never been anything more important on this tired old planet ever. Thanks.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Sunday 17/01/10



Love conquers all. I'm sorry; but it does.

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Thursday 14/01/10

It's the 13th day of the new decade and I'm sat in this coffee shop somewhere in southern California, though I won't say exactly where, and I'm eating waffles with chocolate sauce and drinking a coffee, having made new year's resolutions of: giving up the gym / taking up caffeine / eating carelessly / spending time with inappropriate men / always crushing and snorting my pills; resolutions that I feel my life has been building up to for 30 years, resolutions that I'll never fail, not if my life depends on it.

That's when I get this email from Enid back in London, an email that says:

"Rumours are circulating that a Suede reunion and Albert Hall gig are about to be announced"

I pick up a pen that's on the table next to mine, read the email again, drop the pen startled for dramatic effect and continue staring at my Blackberry screen until no steam is coming out of my coffee any longer. I don't know how long that is, because I have nowhere to be and nothing to do in California, so time doesn't matter.

Regardless. Suede might be reforming. If anyone already knows / finds out from now on anything about this (i.e. tickets have gone on sale), can you please get in touch and let me know? I need this to happen. And I need to be there. I am going to fly back to London for this. Don't let me miss it.

By the way, this is deadly serious. With the emphasis on deadly. Just to assess the magnitude of this, here is a list of my most played artists over the last year and a half from last.fm



Thank you