Thursday, 26 November 2009

Friday 26/11/09

I was reading Marcel Proust's The Captive and The Fugitive but this was one big fuck-off volume of 900 pages and I got tired of carrying it around all day long either in my carrier bag which it made too heavy, or in my backpack where it took up all the space and I couldn't even take food with me (and in the question Proust or food? the answer should always be Proust, but I'm susceptible to making the wrong choices as we know), so after 150 pages I gave up, decided to continue reading this during the Christmas holiday when I won't have to travel around during the day and I'm now reading How It Ended by Jay McInerney, who's in my top 3 writers, well modern day writers anyway and I'm kinda hoping that it doesn't disappoint, but oh who am I kidding of course it will.



Monday, 23 November 2009

Monday 23/11/09

I want to have an extensive Christmas movie collection. At least 200. And I want to watch them all year round. And when I’m a layabout surfer living in Newquay, friends will be coming over in the middle of summer to pick me up to go surfing and I’ll be watching Christmas movies on DVD and they’ll be all like, “What are you doing, dude”. And my housemate will be like, “Don’t you know? That’s ___. He watches Christmas movies all the time. It’s his thing”

And I'm not suggesting anyfink or nuffin, but here's a list with about 20 Christmas movies on it

Friday, 20 November 2009

Friday 20/11/09

And because I sat down and wrote something in the comments yesterday that almost fully explains (ALMOST fully - I never do anything by wholes) why I was so annoyed by this person and his rant(see previous post below), I’m going to copy this on the front page now for maximum exposure and then forget about it.

So yesterday, in the comments section a reader, W, said: “I thought what he said was quite interesting. I think he did understand the point of your blog, but just found it raised difficult feelings inside him and I think its fine for him to express those to you, as it is fine for you to share with everyone else your thoughts about how he makes you feel i.e. that he is a cowardly idiot. At the end of the day it’s just different perspectives, there isn’t any objective truth about the meaning of 'London Preppy', people take from it what they will and clearly some people will find it the way that reader does, if not in whole, certainly in parts. There are certainly aspects of what he says I think I recognise. Does that make me a cunt too?”

And W made me sit down and think, well not so much sit down and think, because these thoughts were already in my head, but he motivated me to sit down and write them. Mind you, it was late Thursday night and I’d just come home from my play date with Scott’s cat and then my Dad called with some intensive questions about the weather and what have you, so I was a bit distracted and it’s not perfect, but it’s all I have. So here it is:

“No, certainly not.

I'm actually finding it difficult to respond to this with clarity. I don't know if I want to write as myself, or if I want to continue writing from the LP perspective. Actually, I don't know who he has an issue with either, as he wrote his piece, closed any comments and didn't provide an email address anywhere on his blog for me to get back to him either. Which is a bit shitty.

At the end of the day, you're right, everyone takes away whatever they want from the blog and they can express themselves accordingly.

Having read his piece and a lot of the rest of his blog though, plus from I what I've found out about the person himself (hello, friend who told me his name and hello, open facebook profile), his whole persona irks me.

I can't stand this moralist act. (I'm saying act, even though it's not an act - he lives this). In fact, he's not being a moralist. Being a moralist, being conservative would be the 1950s equivalent of what he is now. Because now, in 2009, it's safer and easier to be liberal and hide your fear, hatred and disapproval behind that front. If you're an activist for everything that's right, a martyr for the minorities, who's gonna stand in your way, right? Who's gonna tell you that you're wrong?

His thought process is so basic: I'm liberal and left-wing. I'll jump on every bandwagon going: Obama, Ghurkas in the UK, anti-Conservative, pro-civil partnership, Stonewall, anti-Boris, kill Jan Moir, etc.

As I said, he's right in being pro- and anti- these things accordingly. I can see that. I'm not blind and I'm not racist/bigoted/closed-minded (delete as appropriate to cover all the above for 100% liberalism rate)

So of course his heart is in the right place, but in this snowball of activism, he though London Preppy was worth attacking too. And that's where the misunderstanding comes.

Anyway, I'm bored of writing now and I want to go eat some ice cream and choose my clothes for tomorrow.

My final thought is, fucking hell can you imagine being friends with this guy and making a negative remark on civil partnerships as a joke? He'd stop talking to you.

Or being his boyfriend and mid-fuck you mentioned that the Daily Mail is misunderstood? He'd go ballistic.

No sense of humour. Doesn't know where to stop and what belongs where. The end"

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Wednesday 18/11/09

What does it feel like when you’re looking at pure hatred in the eye? What goes through your head when you’re stood there, face to face with someone that you know despises you and sees no worth in you?

What am I supposed to think when I’m stood there looking at him, right into his eyes, trying to understand where he found it inside him to hate so much?

Readers of the old London Preppy might remember this. It’s a year and half ago now, when I was still writing daily, when I came across one of the most passionate character assassinations that have ever been performed on me.

You can read about it by clicking here

What the hell, I don’t want you to tire, I’ll paste it all again here. Actually, I’ll paste his original text, without any of my comments. For the text AND the comments, fine, go ahead and click here

“I know hatred is self-destructive. I know the only person it hurts it me. Over the years I've developed a reflex action which automatically makes me stop and think: what do I gain from this? Just let them be - let go - make some changes, sure: stop spending time with them and winding yourself up. Realise that I can't fix everything in the world, accept the things which can't be changed, and focus on those things which really do deserve time and energy.

I know other people see things differently from me, deliberately work to oppose things I feel are crucially important, or even deliberately smear, taunt and inflame ignorance in order to sell newspapers - and their duckspeak becomes widely accepted as fact. I accept these things as part of this imperfect, challenging and complex world we live in.

Yet, somehow, there are some people who just itch and itch. London Preppy is one of those people. He's just a young guy with a body image problem who takes too many drugs - not that unusual in big city gay culture. I could forgive his pretentions to intellectualism (god knows I have a few myself). I could forgive his unhealthy obsession with food and judging everyone based on how they look (it's almost certainly worse for him to live it than it is for me to read about it). I could forgive his "Bret Easton Ellis" tattoo (who is of course the author of American Psycho).

What I can't forgive about his blog is the fact that, like those anorexia websites you read about, he has somehow become a locus of crystallisation for one of the most unhealthy and negative parts of gay culture. Readers are encouraged to enter his best body competition - but you and I needn't bother applying (compare last year's sycophantic winner). His blog entries are, by turns, deeply self-critical, negative and self-destructive (inviting us to write adoring comments and messages of sympathy) and gloating and proud of his gym-toned body (after which we idolise and lust after him). I'm sure hundreds of young men read his blog and find negative and irrational feelings about themselves reinforced.

The reason it affects me, of course, is because part of me agrees with everything he says. I still trek on down to the gym three or so times every week. Part of me thinks that "skinny-fat" people really only have themselves to blame. Part of me still chases after boys with v-shaped torsos and washboard stomachs and writes off those kind, thoughtful souls who don't. My eyes still linger over his pictures and the sections in which he talks about his sex life. For all of those people who have whispered in my ear exactly what they wanted to do to me, I still have no doubt that were I to meet him shirtless in a club, he'd roll his eyes and dismiss me in a flash.

Part of me, however, stands with Simon Fanshawe, who with a candid and witty twist laid it all bare. It's this part I prefer. I'm far from perfect, let me tell you. But I try and recognise that everyone has an inherent value, including myself. Some have speculated about the cause of the gym obsession in the gay community and made a connection with HIV/AIDS in the 1980s; I think for me and my generation the cause is far more likely to be deep insecurity, especially about forming and maintaining intimate relationships, a legacy of bullying and isolation at school, and a club scene where to compete for a mate you have to be practically an Olympic swimmer. Being physically perfect not only makes us sexually desirable to everyone, but also puts us on the moral high-ground.

Some of my best friends are a bit overweight. And, if I'm lucky enough to reach sixty or seventy years old without getting hit by a bus, maybe I'll rest my pint glass on my belly. But London Preppy will have to come to terms with the fact that he won't still be on the front cover of gay magazines before then. As things stand today, London Preppy has a fan club on Facebook with 212 members, and googling "London Preppy" yields nearly 10,000 hits. The world would be a much healthier place if he found value in himself and others somewhere else before that.”

The person who wrote this – it’s not so difficult to find who’s who, is it? - now goes to the same swimming pool as I do. I see him a few times a week.

The intensity of London Preppy is now definitely behind me. I don't depress myself on a daily basis trying to get into character to write the blog and I don’t make myself sick by thinking I’ll let everyone down if I don’t deliver the same self-loathing, gloomy blurb day after day.

In fact, I’m no longer London Preppy. But even so, reading his piece above again, I can’t help but think: what a fucking cunt.

Worse than Hitler? For sure. Worse than Satan? No doubt. Worse than Danyl? Hmm…yes.


There, I’ve said it and there’s no taking it back.

Monday, 16 November 2009

Monday 16/11/09

Formerly Greek guy with issues requires life partner / long-term companion to move to Cornwall - specifically Newquay - with. I will acquire property with ocean views and vast windows, we will spend our time surfing and drinking (I will take up drinking). Sexual attraction is desirable but not necessary, we just have to get on perfectly and you need to tolerate Bjork and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Apply here. Please have blue eyes.

Other things we will be doing in Cornwall are:

Playing with crabs on the sand when the tide is out

Playing with crabs on the sand some more, standing next to boats

People we fancy this week are:

Mellow singer / songwriter Jack Johnson

Mellow singer / songwriter Alexi Murdoch

Mellow singer / songwriter Newton Faulkner (yes, you heard me)

Saturday, 14 November 2009

Saturday 14/11/09

These are my top 20 albums of 2009. Plus a youtube link for a couple of songs from each album. I had said I'd write a way to kill oneself inspired by each album, but you know what, I've only done that for the top 3. SO-RRY.

Here they are:

20. Miss Kittin & The Hacker – Two
(1,000 Dreams / Suspicious Minds)

19. Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson – Break Up
(Relator / Blackie's Dead)

18. Erik Hassle – Hassle
(Hurtful / Isn't It Obvious)

17. Morrissey – Years Of Refusal
(I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris / That's How People Grow Up

16. Junior Boys – Begone Dull Care
(Parallel Lines / Work)

15. Felix Da Housecat – He Was King
(We All Wanna Be Prince / Elvi$)

14. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – It’s Blitz!
(Zero / Heads Will Roll)

13. Yuksek – Away From The Sea
(Tonight / Break Ya)

12. Gossip – Music For Men
(Pop Goes The World / Men In Love)

11. La Roux – La Roux
(In For The Kill / Quicksand)

10. The Temper Trap – Conditions
(Sweet Disposition / Fools)

9. Peaches – I Feel Cream
(Lose You / I Feel Cream)

8. Pet Shop Boys – Yes
(Love Etc / All Over The World)

7. Fischerspooner – Entertainment
(The Best Revenge / Money Can't Dance)

6. Simian Mobile Disco – Temporary Pleasure
(Audacity Of Huge / Cruel Intentions)

5. Tiga – Ciao!
(Shoes / Speak, Memory)

4. Annie – Don’t Stop
(Songs Remind Me Of You / Bad Times)

3. Bjork – Voltaic (The Volta Mixes)
(Dull Flame Of Desire - Modeselektor Remix For Girls / Earth Intruders - Lexx Remix)

I’m in Sydney at the Mardi Gras party on Saturday night after the parade. I’m busy fighting my way through the shirtless, sweaty crowds trying to find a friend who’s passing out in the corner, slightly pissed off because I’ve had to leave behind this Canadian guy with the biggest arms I've ever seen (but I'm a good friend like that) and as this is happening I can hear the Modeselektor Remix For Girls of The Dull Flame Of Desire by Bjork coming on and think, oh I know this song, and I try to sing along to the first verse, so as to show everyone that I know it…but as I’m mouthing "I love your eyes my dear", she’s already on the second verse where she sings “there’s a charm that’s greater still", and then I can't remember anything else apart from crashing down and a flashing thought that I had most of the drink that made my friend leave the dancefloor to go lose consciousness in a dark corner before handing it to him

2. IAMX – Kingdom Of Welcome Addiction
(My Secret Friend / I Am Terrified)

I’m standing in what you might call the moshpit at the IAMX gig in Warsaw, very near the front but slight off to the right with Scott’s hands on my shoulders behind me. During the first eight songs I have taken two or three bumps of ketamine, which are already making me feel like I’m not there. When they launch into I Am Terrified, I open the bag and take the rest of the 3 grams, each snort stinging more than the previous one, my eyes really watering now, almost unable to lift the key up to my nose for the final hit. I fall to the floor within two minutes and Scott walks away, out of the venue, leaving me there, as I’ve asked him to, proving his love to me

1. Royksopp – Junior
(The Girl And The Robot / You Don't Have A Clue)

I’m in Sydney listening to this on my headphones, You Don’t Have A Clue is playing, it’s soon after 0900 and I’m on my way to the temp job where they pay me $25/hour to google stuff and get into arguments with a line manager that nobody takes seriously about my lack of interest and effort (hello, I am a) London Preppy and b) on an extended holiday for stress-related breakdown recovery). I’m at the intersection of Park Street and George Street and start crossing diagonally once the traffic lights turn green. I don’t remember what hits me first, a bus or the red Ford Falcon, but I never hear past the first three seconds of Silver Cruiser, which is fine really, because it’s the weakest song on the album

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Tuesday 10/11/09

I am putting together the list of my albums of the year
I will post the list on here
I will write about the best way to kill yourself whilst listening to each album

Sunday, 8 November 2009

Sunday 08/11/09

Me: Hello, 1 million hits

1 million hits: Hello, London Preppy

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Tuesday 03/11/09

I need to find a tween Lloyd forum somewhere and I need to see what their reaction is after Saturday's debacle, and how they plan to remedy the situation this week. Is a massive voting campaign being planned? Teenage girls have always been a well organised, rational and non-hysterical bunch of "go-getters", so I expect this to happen post haste.

I need to stop hating Danyl from the bottom of my broken heart and through the marrow of my resorpting bones, but most of all I need him to go have that disconcerting mole from his left shin removed, because everytime I see it in a picture (89% of them to be fair - he must think it's his Madonna tooth gap or unruly left eyebrow or something: a "natural flaw" that will elevate him into worship) I just think that the poor bisexual lad has stepped into Lucie's dog's shit when practising his dramatic stage falls.

And this is the LAST time I'm typing here selmi-conscious on forgotten Xanax from a bedside draw that expired last month (I don't use this bedroom much)

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Sunday 01/11/09

Here are my top 50 songs of 2009. With youtube clips (or other link where the song can be heard). Occasionally I've squeezed two songs by the same person together. WHATCHOU GONNA DO. I'm going to post the list before I go crazy making small changes here and there. The order is a bit fluid anyway, but generally 1-10 > 11-20 > 21-30 etc. And that the number 1 song is farking awesome and I had no trouble putting it there. EDIT: Actually I take that back about the order. As I was finding the videos and putting the list together I heard all the songs again and they should all move up. Apart from number 1. Which clearly can't get any higher. Either way.

50. Cazwell - I seen Beyonce at Burger King
49. Yuksek - Yuksek - Break ya / Tonight
48. Grrove Armada - Go
47. Jack Penate - Be the one
46. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Young adult friction
45. The Rumble Strips - Not the only person
44. David Gray - Fugitive
43. Gossip - Pop goes the world
42. Miami Horror - Don't be on with her
41. Basement Jaxx - Feelings gone

40. Yohanna - Is it true
39. Bruce Springsteen - The wrestler
38. Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson - Blackie's dead
37. Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
36. Florence & The Machine - Rabbit heart (raise it up)
35. Visitor - Los feeling (rough mix)
34. Bag Raiders - Shooting stars
33. LCD Soundsystem - Bye bye bayoo
32. Fever Ray - Triangle walks (Rex The Dog remix)
31. The Temper Trap - Sweet disposition

30. Bjork - Nattura (Switch remix)
29. Fischerspooner - Money can't dance
28. RevoLucian - Bale out
27. Simian Mobile Disco - Cruel intentions (joker remix)
26. Digikid84 - Bboy underground
25. Courtney Love - Pacific coast highway
24. Chromeo - Night by night
23. Preston - Dressed to kill
22. Saint Etienne - Method of modern love
21. Pet Shop Boys - The way it used to be

20. Bjork - The dull flame of desire (modeselektor remix for girls)
19. Chew Lips - Solo (Tepr remix)
18. Peaches - Lose you
17. autoKratz - Stay the same
16. Erik Hassle - Hurtful
15. Annie - Anthonio
14. IAMX - My secret friend / The great shipwreck of life
13. Royksopp - Vision one / You don't have a clue
12. Simian Mobile Disco - Audacity of huge
11. Mendetz - Souvenir

10. Felix Da Housecat - Elvi$
9. Tiga - Shoes / Mind dimension
8. La Roux - In for the kill
7. Yelle - Qui est cette fille
6. Bloc Party - One more chance
5. Bat For Lashes - Daniel
4. Annie - Songs remind me of you
3. Phoenix - Lisztomania (Classixx version)
2. Bon Iver - Blood bank
1. Gossip - Heavy cross (Fred Falke remix)

I can do albums in the next few days if anyone cares.