Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Thursday 04/09/08

And finally, a couple more comments:

"Preppy, AKA (real name)/MuscleBoy, Scene Queen I also go to that gym occasionally, and really think you are an idiot. Surely showing off your own pasty overdone little torso is enough? I am straight, dont really admire your amateur writing which is really just your vanity written down. Hopefully if enough of us complain at the gym (and now someone passed around flyers letting us all know about the pics), they will cancel your membership"

"The gym manager and head office have already seen the pics, they saw them this morning. Someone took screen shots of your blog and print outs. Vile prick"

Question: Even if all this is true (flyers?! Jesus).  What will anyone gain if I stop going to this gym and go to a different one.  What are these people trying to achieve?

-------

This is the Monday after Scott and I have seen some new guy that we like in the gym, a new guy that I’ve never mentioned on here before, because that would be a gross invasion of privacy and I don’t want to be some seedy little moron, so on this Monday I dedicate my lunchtime to going out and buying clothes that make me look more like that guy. 

And for this purpose I choose to ignore the fact that, in order to look like him, I actually need: four inches in height / 23kg of extra weight in muscle (don’t ask me how I know his weight – that would be a gross invasion of privazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) / a spectacular natural tan / the ability to grow proper stubble / generally the ability to look like a real, sexy man, instead of a 14-year-old child taking part in the local school gymnastics championship (my current look). 

And to achieve the guy’s look I decide that I need to be wearing t-shirts in the gym, not vests anymore (too gay) even if that means that I will get all hot and sweaty and won’t be able to breathe.  So I go to Sports World on Oxford Street and buy: three Nike t-shirts, exactly the same pair of ugly brown trainers he has even though I hate them, a pair of white socks that got in the way as I was paying. 

Then I go to Zavvi where unfortunately I find a Smiths t-shirt, a t-shirt that I can’t help but have.  This Monday afternoon though I’m strong, stronger than I’ve been for at least six days, plus I’ve spent too much money already today, so I walk away. 

On Tuesday lunchtime I go back and buy the Smiths t-shirt. 

This has the cover of The Queen Is Dead on the front, kinda faded, blending in with the shirt and it says “Life is very long when you’re lonely” at the back.  I don’t like the back very much.  It’s a bit explicit.  I am more implicit. 

On Wednesday lunchtime I go back to Sports World and return the brown trainers.  I get my money back.  I don’t like these trainers and this is money I could put in my savings, savings that I’ll waste sooner or later on more plastic surgery.  It’s rapidly becoming obvious that I haven’t had enough.  

Then I’ll beg, steal and borrow more money, have yet more plastic surgery, fall into horrible debt, get caught and thrown into jail. 

In jail, I will lead a life of miserable / wonderful solitude, the life that all my 28 years have been leading to, from the day my nursery school teacher told me off for gluing the confetti pieces on my Mother’s Day card symmetrically one by one instead of sprinkling them on, to the day that 

EDIT: I have now put the second and last London Preppy scrapbook on ebay.  I'm quite convinced it will go for a lower price than the last one, so feel free to check it out.

Last London Preppy on ebay

Oh yeah, this includes an unpublished story that I'll never put on here.

34 comments:

James said...

"What are these people trying to achieve?"

A reaction, a response, attention.

kim said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard_delusion

OMG ... could this be you LP?

MrM said...

It's really appalling to see how little and vile some people can be. And I must say I really don't think the comment you posted in this entry was written by a straight person - not that it matters, but it just adds to the saddness of this "ordeal". Obviously there are always vastly bitter people in the world, people who are so crushed and miserable inside that they need, really NEED, to jump on any opportunity they can get to backstab someone who fuels their ego problems. And you LP, might be one of those fuelers. I'm not saying it's your fault, and you were looking for trouble, but that, in a way, it's fate that something like this would happen. First you get the hate mail, then this sort of thing occurs. And I don't believe this person is going to denounce you (hell, where are we, is this Vichy France?), all I hope is that he doesn't achieve what he was going after - making you feel crap for being what/who you are, and doing what you do. I know you keep on playing careless disillusioned urbanite, but I think one can see in your recent posts (and especially in the ending of this last one) that your relatively light-spirited mood of recently (you made jokes! you compared ... with a lion! you used exlamation marks!), has been replaced by a, just as genuine, I-am-the-Smiths-and-am-so-lonely-and-am-so-disappointed-with-the-world-which-I'll-never-fit-in sort of frame of mind.
I'm sorry you have to go through this (though, yeah, I agree, this is not the end of the world, but just another bitter prick spitting his venom at you). You deserve better than that.

Gert said...

Why not go to the gym management and apologise?

Anonymous said...

Flyers?! It's all starting to sound a bit, "Burn the witch!"
To stop this nonsense how about going over to the Lion Man and explaining to him that you thought he looked rather spectacular working out and so you took a couple of pictures of him. You posted these pictures and made some complementary remarks about them on your blog and this has caused a bit of a furore about invasion of privacy. Does he mind?
I'm writing this as Anon as I can't remember my Blogger password, but I'm Specky.

Tim in Italy said...

I'm really bowled over by this incredible response. Fliers? So this is what a witch hunt looks like. And from an anonymous source as well. I just don't get it. It's like you've been poking these guys with sticks for months and they think they have finally found a way to get back at you. It's totally out of proportion and I find that very disturbing. I can only reason that they are attacking you for your success.

The lion post was fucking brilliant and hardly malicious. You have created a vibrant character in London Preppy, one that is unique, entertaining and thought provoking. I can't imagine what there is to complain about.

In my business, they say that you can measure your effectiveness by how many people are pissed at you. By that measure, I guess we can say that you've been amazingly effective. Nothing like ending your time in London on a high note.

Anonymous said...

crucify this little old bastard for ruining it all for us!

i want the light-spirited mood (as mrm puts it) of LP back!

JamesR said...

LP
These last few days have been rather bizarre for you what with witch hunts and fliers, dealing with gym management and the possibility of losing ones membership to said gym and for what?? All because some "straight" has perceived a slight. So silly. BUT it occurs to me that perhaps you are looking for an "out", that you want to cease writing this blog before departing to Sydney. What better way to achieve that end than by creating drama - especially from one who is so patently undramatic - it's brilliant when you think about it: straight boy cries "wolf" and forces LP to cease blogging...I'll have another G&T and pursue this line of thinking...

Fredparislondon said...

Flyers ? well your " new best friend" should be happy ! We all want our 15 minutes of fame and that s it ! he made it ! He even doesn t need to go to big brother or G-A-Y contest. Moreover I think your gym should actually give you a free pass for a month as, looking at your pictures I really like the material and I d like to join now ( I won t stalk you and please no picture of me too as I signed a privacy agreement with my Employer already). As for going to jail, well...maybe you will find a nice straight boy who will take care of you and it could be the start of a long romance and btw you will have this very pale look you have been looking for !!!

semistraight said...

This is calling for an investigation! Different IP addresses, same provider? Flyers? There must be some evidence left - send an uncover agent to the gym.
And there I thought the whole plastic surgery thing was temporary and a thing of the past :-X.

christine said...

i would like you to buy one t shirt for me as well my dear friend!! cant wait to see you, kisses

christine said...

i would like you to buy one t shirt for me as well my dear friend!! cant wait to see you, kisses

gill said...

To be perfectly honest. I've been more concerned whether you'd paid for the correct licenses for the Getty Images pictures of the lions. I've seen the legal action those guys are willing to undertake if they feel their copyright has been infringed.

Right must dash. Have work to be getting on with along with signing a new Parlimentary petition on the 10 Downing Street website calling for the reinstatement of capital punishment for taking people who dare take photos whilst in a public area of a gym. Then I'm off on the "march against inspired and funny blogs"...

Jezuz H Christ what is the world coming too when the facist demands of someone clearly wielding a personal grudge are veiled as a crusade for moral righteousness.... Hmm perhaps Anonymous is a politician...Bush?!?

Don't let the bastards try to tear you down when you're clearly on a pre-Aussie high.

Gill

Anonymous said...

It doesn't take a sherlock: it's probably the "straight" guy who feels up everyone at the gym. He got wind of your effort to get rid of him, and is preemptively fighting back.

scrivenerb said...

You have done nothing wrong and I don't believe the guy actually resorted to flyers to try and defame you. Just ignore him. And if gym management approach you, you've done nothing wrong. There is nothing up here to confirm this guy's weird delusions.

Anonymous said...

This blog doesn't post X rated material and it is a blog of a gay man. What's the problem? If you don't like it you don't have to read it. The games people play!
Andy

London Preppy said...

"It doesn't take a sherlock: it's probably the "straight" guy who feels up everyone at the gym. He got wind of your effort to get rid of him, and is preemptively fighting back"

I believe that you're RIGHT on the money there

Anonymous said...

Lastly, and you can share this comment with your readers, and denigrate me, but that hardly matters to me.

I read your blog and enjoy your writing, and your musings. You remind me of myself with the self-confidence and body issues, although you are much cuter than I am, I used to have a body similar to yours. I used it to build my entire sense of self-esteem, which worked for awhile.

I am not castigating for you anything, other than perhaps not being very thoughtful. My gym expressly forbids cameras in the gym. People expect a certain level of privacy, even though it's a public place.

To reiterate, I think you're pretty swell. I read you regularly from San Francisco, but certainly don't waste any time obsessing over you, and never leave a comment. Your blog is a nice distraction from the everyday shit I deal with.

Why not just fess up, admit you made a mistake and move on? Does your righteous indignation, spurred on by your fans, really help the situation?

Anonymous said...

Hey LP,

Thanks for posting my comment. I hate that I have to be anonymous, but I have no choice.

I just want you to know that I think the fact you did post my comment speaks volumes about your integrity and decency as a "real" person. I know LP is a "character" and I really enjoy it.

I can tell by your intelligence, wit and sarcasm, you really are a very decent person, deserving of the happiness that will probably elude you, much as it's eluded me for so long.

Obviously, good things have happened to me, but I am always looking forward, expecting the other shoe to drop.

What can you do when the world sucks as it does, but accept your lot and move on?

Please keep up with the blog. I really do love it....

DRD said...

ANOn, I am sorry but you sound like quite a pathetic loser. You sir are a bitter bitter bitter old queen. Shame on you. Sorry what do you get by doing this? Its obvioulsy clear that "THE LION" was aware that he was being photographed but chose not too protest. I guess you are jelaous that its not your your old wrinkly flab muscle body LP has been obssing about. GET LIFE MORON!!!

shawn said...

amen

limehousetrader said...

Perhaps you should include a copy of the blog entry that you did not write and no-one on here ever saw in a one off special edition of your book available only on eBay?

If you could get hold of one of those flyers that are apparently out there then that would be cool.

phoenix said...

You sound like you're heading for an Amy Winehouse -esque breakdown. Go to rehab!

michael01 said...

Whenever you are attracted to someone new at your gym, you immediately want to duplicate what they are wearing. Self-deprecation always ensues: an acute awareness of your hopeless deficiency in matching their most desirable attributes. The point I want to make here is

London Preppy said...

michael: Ha ha, excellent

oh and kim: Cotard delusion is something that A Girl has mentioned to me before as something that we should develop

timbo said...

LP, do you have a date set for your departure? I'm always trying to put your stories in context to when this chapter will end.

Also, it would be fun if you started a betting pool regarding when or if you will be returning to London from Australia. My money is on you liking Australia and not wishing to leave.

London Preppy said...

timbo: I do but I don't want to say when it is, because I don't like to talk about future events (for many many reasons). As for coming back, I AM coming back!

Dan said...

Just some advice - don't fight the internet crazies. They take any kind of interaction, even an attack, as a form of social validation. Just ignore him and... frankly, find a new gym. You really want to share a room with someone that far gone?

Luke_Sydney said...

What straight boy uses the term "scene queen". All these people desperate to protect their privacy and their little empires. Do they think they are on an episode of Boston Legal, nah they probably wouldn't get irreverance.

M@ said...

so let me get this straight; This person is all bent out of shape because you took photos of a fully-clothed adult in a public, and posted them ensuring you are protecting their identity?

aren't there bigger issues to worry about?

L.A. Fireman said...

So what do you really think will happen when you go to the gym? You think you'll actually see flyers up?

Wait...the staff knows who you are. Their face-recognition closed-circuit cameras will identify you as you enter the doors to the gym, the alarms will go off, and men dressed like the Gustapo will come out with guns drawn and excort you into a non-descript room for questioning. Then the "Lion" will enter the room as you sit there all bound up and gagged, and identify you as the perpetrator. He'll take your phone away from you, find his pictures, then smash your phone with his enormous legs. They'll then beat you into submission, and haul you off to where you'll never be heard from again.

In other words, your anonymous poster is full of crap and just just jealous of you Eff him!

London Preppy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nick said...

Their face-recognition closed-circuit cameras will identify you as you enter the doors to the gym, the alarms will go off, and men dressed like the Gustapo will come out with guns drawn and excort you into a non-descript room for questioning. Then the "Lion" will enter the room as you sit there all bound up and gagged, and identify you as the perpetrator. He'll take your phone away from you, find his pictures, then smash your phone with his enormous legs. They'll then beat you into submission, and haul you off to where you'll never be heard from again.

l.a.fireman, that sounds hot - I wonder how I can engineer this scenario for myself, too

London Preppy said...

The last few comments above make excellent sense. Thanks