So my desperate attempt to befriend anyone who has competed for Great Britain or Australia in the Commonwealth Games (2002, 2006) and Olympics (2004, 2008) has not been going exactly great, as most people are hard to find (why do parents insist on naming their children “Matt” and “David” and “Ben” – how are we supposed to stalk each other if you get 340 results of the same name on facebook?) and those that I do find, reject my friendship flat out. Not that I’m blaming them of course, I don’t add strangers on facebook either.
Then there are a few that have accepted my friend request but when I’ve messaged them subsequently they haven’t replied, because what sane straight athlete would start an online conversation with some random fag that starts messaging them on facebok, really?
Right now I have reached the stage that for the very few that have accepted me (an insanely hot gymnast, two moderately hot gymnasts, one very hot rugby player, one moderately hot diver) I dare not message them in case they just delete me, so I just keep them there, sitting back quietly and making myself inconspicuous, so I can look at their pictures every now and then.
And apparently none of the athletes are gay; in fact, a yahoo news story tells me that:
“Only 10 of the 10,500 athletes competing in the Beijing Olympics are openly gay, according to a study by a gay website. Nine of the gay athletes named by Outsports were lesbians and their sports ranged from fencing to cycling. Just one, Australian diver Matthew Mitcham, was a man”
I guess my only hope is stumbling upon the odd closeted person, who sits at home between his 0600-1100 and 1400-1900 training session in the pool / on the track / in the field / wherever it is that those guys train, hoping to receive a random message on facebook by a pathetic homosexual with an athlete fetish (i.e. me). The chances of that of course are about 0.00001%, but I do like a good challenge. No wait, I don’t like a challenge at all, maybe I ought to give up now.
Not that the facebook endeavours have been completely wasted of course – I have come across a different profile, a profile of somebody I talked about on here not so long ago, well to be more accurate he talked about me first and then I had to reply, but anyway we’re not talking about that.
In other news on Monday a reader sends me a link to this magazine website, a magazine that had a picture of me on the cover back in June apparently, not that I was aware of this of course. And this is the magazine cover.
Some people’s lives are so pathetic that they have no choice but to take pleasure in infrequent, tiny, ridiculous incidents that present a glimmer of happiness. I am one of those people and this is one of those incidents.
Finally, here are two lines that friends used on Sunday when I was ridiculously “working” at Soho Pride, which I thought were very funny, so I thought I’d share them.
1) I’m chatting to Orville and I’m wearing my top because it’s a little cold and then it gets a bit warmer so I take my top off and some guy comes up to me and says can I have my picture taken with you and I say sure and then when I come back Orville says: “Once you take your top off you become public property”. Which is funny
2) I’m chatting to Alexei and Devon and Alexei says to me, “you’re very proud that you have blonde hairs on your upper lip, aren’t you” and I says “yes, because it’s very non-Greek”, and then Alexei puts his hand forward and flicks something off the side of my head and says “let’s me just get rid of that chip on your shoulder”. Which is also funnyOh wait, there’s something else. I wanted to take the opportunity of the picture I posted yesterday and explain once and for all the pale thing – because the picture seems to demonstrate it very well, being quite close up and in natural light. I don’t care if this sounds conceited (people make up their minds about things like that, no matter what I write anyway), but I think the paleness goes with me, because it goes with my skin. If I had a hairy chest or if I shaved my chest and had stubble / rashes etc, or if I had spots, I probably wouldn’t want to be pale. But because my skin is kinda smooth and not very damaged, I think the pale looks OK.