Tuesday, 12 August 2008

Tuesday 12/08/08

On Sunday there is a morning and that’s when I decide to wake up. 

Then I meet up with Donnell because he wants us to go and buy a present in Selfridges and then we go and buy a present in Selfridges and as we walk past the Ralph Lauren department I glance over and see at least 34 items I would like to own, so I tell Donnell that I can’t look, I won’t look in there, the temptation is too big and Donnell tells me that he doesn’t understand this obsession with that look and it just seems boring.  But I’m not offended by this, I’ve learnt to deal with hits on a daily basis, and at the end of the day this comes from a person whose idea of style is slitting every top down to the belly button. 

Then we go to the gym where I do arms and abs and Donnell sits there and drinks a cup of tea, and then I go home. 

On Sunday night I’m stressed out about the week ahead at work, but not as stressed out as usual, because on Monday morning I’m giving in my notice.  This calms me down a bit, because it gives the illusion that the end is near, there is light at the end of the tunnel, there IS a way out.  Even if this way out leads to a free fall from the edge of a cliff, i.e. unemployment, uncertainty about the future, no…more…regular…income.  

At this point I decide to take this back, handing in my notice does not calm me down one bit, why the hell should it. 

Anyway, then Monday morning comes, like every Monday morning comes, and then I’m in the small meeting room telling my boss that I’d like to leave.  

Later in the day, at the weekly team meeting, A Girl and I are preparing for the announcement of my resignation.  It’s been a few weeks now since we decided that next time somebody quits and they announce it in the team meeting, A Girl will drop her pen as a demonstration of shock, and I will gasp out loud.  Not very loud mind you, just audibly. 

It doesn’t matter that it’s my resignation that’s announced, I am still gasping and A Girl is still dropping her pen in shock. 

Then we go in the meeting, there is no announcement, we take this slap in the face, we go back to our desks. 

Finally on Monday, Pam sends me an email asking for ideas of something sentimental that she could leave her boyfriend while she’s away traveling.  I don’t know exactly why she decides to send this email to me, somebody who last emoted in October 2001, but I’m going to guess it’s an experiment to see if I will cease to operate after a series of sparks and small explosions.  Perhaps it’s like testing your old keyboard by pouring a glass of water over it just to watch it combust. 

And this is a conversation that goes like this: 

Pam: You have any ideas of some sentimental to leave with ___ while I’m away?

Me: Leave him your pillow (on top of his face after you smother him with it) 

Finally, here are some pictures that a blog reader who recognised me took when I was at Brighton a couple of weeks ago, and then thought he’d email them to me as well.  Why not. 




36 comments:

Maluminas said...

No hair news?

Oh ya, the Chinese robots only got my safety clone, I'm alright.

phoenix said...

Just started reading your blog. You're painfully witty, or in dire need of medication. Maybe both. I don't usually bother reading blogs but this has caught my interest :)

London Preppy said...

maluminas: Nothing to report on the hair...

phoenix: You're trying to flatter me, aren't you? You know I can't resist when somebody thinks I'm in need of medication ;-)

Oldyeller said...

Excellent and funny post, with all the elements we've come to expect: simple, childlike prose, a tedious and Spartan narrative of the day's boring events (shop, gym, work), neurotic & despondent observations, shirtless pics of the writer, etc. By the way, you look amazing, you're fit as fuck, and I want to shag Donnell.

Connecticut Yankee said...

Ok - I just have to say, putting music on the site was a great idea. Although you loose it when you go to post a message! I love Yazoo "Only You" great piece and the Sebastien Tellier is awesome as well. Hearing new music for the first time is always great - I always think, "why I have I never heard this before?" It also gives a great kind of background or perspective you can't get really unless you know the song already.

Nice.

Gav Dublin said...

A few comments, after all this is what this section is called!

1. Donnell is obviously not Prep.
Ralph Lauren = Good (love polo)
Abercrombie = Good (not sure you will agree)
Gant = Good
etc etc

Donnell = bit of a crusty?

2. Did you actually hand in your resignation and why?

3. Was it accepted? If not, why? ( I do realise I am possibly pre-empting your next post/future reason for anxiety)

4. Your readers photos are really good, giving a different view of you than we usually get.

5. Reader = Stalking = NOT GOOD

d said...

why are you sitting so close to that car?

and why is that girl grabbing her junk?

great line about sparks and small explosions.

Joey said...

so you actually are leaving, interesting.

goodluck

your definitely channeling mark wahlberg with those calvins hanging out

.Gash said...

I dyed my hair black a while ago after spending years escaping that colour: I was having an extra dark, feel sorry for myself and listen to far too much Siouxsie and the banshees for my own good day. Now i'm slowly crawling my way out of the black hole again. Its fine when you've still got the new hair novelty feeling..but when you want a change its like a black cloud hanging over your head..literally.

Graham said...

LP,

Do you think they're on to you in work? Did they purposefully not mention your resignation just to twart your plans with A girl to feign shock?

dickophile said...

reader...or stalker?

jhkirkendall said...

L'Prep--

Time for a little belt-tightening! Those shorts are about to go south.

Hey--wouldn't it be preppier to wear some tartan plaid boxers or something?

--Joe in L.A.

Michael01 said...

You've given notice at work?! This is wonderful and terrifying news. I admit I am quite unprepared--but I do hope you are (prepared). Plans? Strategies for survival? Are we just throwing ourselves into the void of existential freefall??

Anonymous said...

notwithstanding all compliments for your writing talents, i think your style needs a bit of tuning, medication, whatever. i'm not sure if ur in a position to mock other people's sense of style as 'slitting'...

Mike said...

Why are you sitting so close to that car in the picture? Isn't there room behind you?

Also please don't quit your job and move to oz. Your job is you. I suggest you purchase a flat, take out a mortgage, and then you will be indented to your job for another 30 years.

Mike said...

indented = indebted

and, yes, I drink on tuesday evenings.

L.A. Fireman said...

Are you still going to post any of the pictures that came for the August 8 deadline? Haven't heard anything more on that, except that you didn't receive that many entries.

Alex said...

I hope I find someone half as good looking as you, LP.

Actually, that'd be no good at all. Just you know, ~LP-- that's where I want him to be :)

..And yes, the lack of an announcement for your resignation is a really irritating slap in the face- as the whole pencil/gasp routine is utterly hilarious. British humor never ceases to entertain!

j said...

how do you deal with the fact that people could be watching your every move? you know, besides dying your hair black and moving to another hemisphere.

Martin said...

That's kind of really stalker-ish. It appeals to me in a worrying way, and I probably would have done the same.

It's not so bad living without a regular income - you get used to it in much the same way as one would adjust to a permanent enema.

London Preppy said...

gav: Erm...I handed in my resignation because I'm going to Sydney?

.gash: Any ideas of how to get rid of it?

graham: I don't know. Maybe they're reading

michael: Why are we so shocked I quit my job? How was I supposed to move to Australia with a job in London?

j: I'm sure they don't!

michael01 said...

For some benighted reason, I thought the Australia move was farther off in the future, in a permanently worrying but never-quite-here way. Hence my shock. Also--I do hesitate to ask, but--how can you just leave your boyfriend like that?

fuzzy logic said...

It looks like you're digging in a skip - were you looking for a shirt?

Vittoriovampuk said...

Hey - great that you used my pictures from Pride and love that you added the red line through your face - not so sure about being tagged as a 'stalker' though!

SmackaRoo said...

im glad there was no visible sign of skid marks in those tighty whiteys

george said...

cool a staker.....can't wait to see what else he sends you.....boiled bunny?????.....hope you don't have a car.....george

andy said...

careful, celebri-preppy. time to invest in some eye protection. maybe you can get these in red:

http://halbot.haluze.sk/images/2007-11/3758_jerrywillneedtheseifhisstickerscont.jpg

then you'll generate a bit of buzz in london - say, who is that sketchy pale dude who always wears those red in cognitos? - which will (not sure how) lead them to your blog, and subsequently notoriety and respect. and the cycle continues.

James said...

Lack of announcement is bad, but the REAL test will be the leaving card and collection. After 7 years of loyal (?) service in my old job, the most the tight-fisted pricks could come up with was just over £37. Some fuck even put in copper coinage! Cunts!

gill said...

Fuckity fuck. How the hell am I supposed to cope without the LP and A-Girl interaction.


I just put up with a 'fellow member of staff going travellin down under' leaving do. I'mnot going (obviously) so I drank and made nice but my god. What an insipid display of insincerity.....

I'm sure (and hopeful in case) that you'll never have to undergo such a special agony of an awkward social convention.

P.S. A-girl is cool so please give her some respect.

Luv Gill

phoenix said...

Yep, definitely the way to charm someone - diagnose them with a mental disorder. It's how I lose friends and alienate people.

You're going somewhere? So will this change to ex-London preppy?

London Preppy said...

This will remain London Preppy because anywhere I go will be temporary

Timmy said...

Just so you know, when I read about your resignation I dropped my pen and let out a gasp.

timbo said...

The person who was supposed to make the announcement of your resignation likely knew that he or she would break down in tears if they tried to speak the words, so they wisely put it off for someone else to do on a day upon which they will be calling off sick so as to stay home and tend to maintenance of their beloved LP shrine. It's so obvious, that I'm a little embarrassed for them really.

MrM said...

Will death too merely be a temporary home for you? Where will you go after that?

DT said...

But what will happen to you and Scott when you move to Sidney?

Anthony said...

now i understand it's an audible gasp, but do we have any set gestures? I.E. hand covering mouth, shifty eyes, or a raising of the eyebrows.