On Tuesday lunchtime, it’s a lunchtime when I decide to steal the look of another straight guy from the gym. And this is a guy who has a great straight pointy noise, nice blue eyes and normal straight boy effortless hair. He doesn’t have an amazing gym fit body, but I don’t care about things like that. I love him. And this boy also wears rugby shorts, with mismatched rugby socks and – the piece de resistance – lycra legging-type shorts under his regular rugby shorts. Instead of underwear. I can’t find a picture of an example right now, but I’m sure you know what I mean.
So on Tuesday lunchtime I go out to buy lycra shorts (I have everything else). Sports World on Oxford Street is great for things like that because it’s cheap and horrible and it stocks every ridiculous straight guy sporting piece of apparel you ever dreamt of.
I get two pairs, in grey and white.
I wear the grey pair with white rugby shorts in the gym on Wednesday.
And this is an outfit that looks like this (I didn’t have anyone to take my picture in the gym so I asked Scott to do it at home later).
But anyway, maybe these guys in the gym who read my blog (if there are any) should come up to me and say “hey I read your blog” instead of pretending they don’t know me.
Another thing that happens on Wednesday is that a girl from work – let’s call her D – decides to email people around the office and break the news that I’m leaving.
Then she forwards their responses to me.
Then I have to guess who said what.
Which is obviously a good game.
And some of the responses are:
“Oooh look at you with your juicy gossip!!!! Really?! How did you find that one out?! And do you know when he’s going? Oh, he handed in his notice pretty early then?! Did Pam tell you?
He definitely makes [our industry] less mundane! Do you know what he’s going to do next?”
“Oh no – when??
I like London Preppy. Did he just hand in his notice this week? Is it still a secret?
It’s getting rubbish all the fun people are going.”
“London Preppy – didn’t know! OMG its like an exodus in the ___ team! Where is he going to...? Who else is going? What do you know?!”
“I heard that already. They’re dropping like flies at the moment”
“No I didn’t know, not massively surprising though. You can generally tell the people that are enjoying themselves at ___ and those who aren’t. Everyone is dropping like flies at the moment hey?”
(and a personal favourite) Response 6
“What?!?!?!? So I am going to guess it won’t be long before A Girl does the off too?? Is there something I should know??”
Then I forward the last one to A Girl so we can speculate together who said it and this is the conversation that goes like this:
A Girl: Wonder who said that one?
Me: Somebody who has infiltrated our tough, careless exterior and sees us as a team. Somebody who we can fool no longer. Somebody with a brain for private investigation and a body for sin.