Monday, 11 August 2008

Monday 11/08/08

This week I’m patiently waiting for someone to chat to me about moving to Sydney.  They will fix me with an inquiring, almost accusative stare and ask: What are you running away from?  I will continue looking in their direction but way past them, and reply in expressionless monotone: I don’t know.  But I’m not far enough from it yet.

On Friday we get back to London but I won’t pretend that I’m even that upset – I’ve been preparing myself for this moment forever, every day is the day that I return from a holiday in my life, every day is like Sunday, every day is silent and grey. 

So we drive to Scott’s home and we catch the end of the Olympics Opening Ceremony, an event I don’t recall ever having missed in my miserable life so far – with an orgasmic climax four years ago when it took place in Athens, my hometown – only to discover that Scott has never watched one before. 

Then I make an appointment to have my hair cut because an unkempt outdoorsy bouffant does not go with jet black Ladytron hair and then I go to Toni & Guy, where a very tired Sophie proceeds to work her – limited – magic.  I have not been to a hairdresser’s in about three years, because I’ve been cutting my own hair like the proletarian lad that I am, but I seem to remember that you’re supposed to chat, gossip and banter mainly about your (i) weekend, (ii) holiday plans and (iii) love life.  Being in an extremely precarious position of (i) being there on a Friday, (ii) having come straight from a holiday and (iii) being gay, I decide to put a halt to any socializing aspirations of Sophie and start playing with my phone the moment I finish telling her that she can do what she wants, I don’t care about my hair, I never have and I never will. 

On Friday evening I cancel plans to meet up with Donnell because an episode of Miss Marple that I haven’t seen for ages is on, order a bacon and olive pizza from Pizza Hut and the biggest and cheapest ice cream I can get, watch my show, consume the food, go to bed. 

On Saturday daytime I guess I go to the gym, where I haven’t been for a week, and in the evening I meet up with Donnell, Donnell’s friend G and Scott at a “coffee shop” in “Soho”.  Then Scott and G leave and Donnell and I meet Alexei and his friend D outside the “coffee shop”, where we proceed to stand and chat for the next fifteen minutes. 

After Alexei usefully informs us that the Olympics Opening Ceremony was the biggest spectacle in the history of the world ever (he’s drunk) we disperse and I go home, where I… 

…log on to facebook and search for every single member of the male British Gymnastics team from the Olympics 2008 and Commonwealth Games 2006, and send them invites to be my friend.  Chances are, ONE of them will be gay.  What the hell – ONE must be. 

Then I do the same for all the gymnasts, divers, wrestlers, swimmers and some track & field athletes (there are too many of those) from the Commonwealth Games 2002, because I decide that the chances of them accepting my friendship are higher, due to the fact that: 

a) If they only qualified for the Commonwealth Games and not the Olympics, they can’t have been that good so they’re likely to have lower standards 

b) If they competed in 2002, they are more likely to be near my age now 

And now we’re playing the waiting game. 

Mind you, I’m an idiot.  I should be trying to add Australian sportsmen – that where I need to meet people.  Any suggestions welcome.

43 comments:

blueyedboy said...

...so do we not get to see the new haircut?

London Preppy said...

blue: Ah it's really not that exciting. Just short-ish. Like 89% of the male population out there

Gav Dublin said...

Well LP, at least you are keeping your hair. Mine decided to commit a slow form of hara-kiri sometime about the time Christian Bale was showing his arse in a crap film based on a book by a not so crap author.

I believe there is some silly saying in relation to not caring about something until it's gone!

(Insert smiley - minus hair)

Bobby Cox said...

Did you know that you're at your best when you're at your lowest?
Ohmygod ohmygod. You're totally going.
So when's the leaving do? I'll do a Cabaret farewell.
hubba hubba...

NGM said...

Sydney Convicts - Gay Union Team, have a look on Utube or google.

London Preppy said...

gav: Well, as a trade off my hair is actually going grey. Properly

bobby: Sadly (hah!) I know. Anything that I enjoy doing, I can't describe. Anything that I don't, it's bloody easy

London Preppy said...

ngm: Nice, thanks

konstantinos said...

So what's your comment about the Beijing 2008 OC? Where you wearing your Greek flag as usual? :D

nick said...

is it me or has something gone wrong with the typography?

Oldyeller said...

And boy o boy it sure was emotional when the Greek delegation walked in first as usual during the opening ceremony. (Sorry-I'm sure its on youtube). Is it just me or do the Chinese gymnasts seem to have really freaky big biceps (unlike your tiny pipestems--kidding I tell you); maybe it just appears so because of their thin bone structure. (Gymnasts (at least in the U.S.) are always rumored to be gay.) As for swimming, its too bad so many guys wear the full body suits now.

Tom Cat from Bondi Beach said...

Try Matthew Mitchum the Aussie Diving competitor. He is gay but sadly for you partnered already.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Matthew-Mitcham-Olympian/23129711303?ref=nf

London Preppy said...

konstantine: Unfortunately I didn't have my Greek flag with me, but maybe I'll wrap it around me at the first gold medal...

I did like the ceremony a lot (watched the whole thing on the BBC website)

nick: In the post today? The italics look a bit odd, yes

oldy: All the gymnasts look muscled because they're so short. That's my secret too

Luke_Sydney said...

Hey LP,
Have you tried going to one of those old barbers... they never chat. I love it. If you are looking for Australian Gay Sportsment currently at the Olypmpics you can check out Matthew Mitcham
http://sxnews.ep.net.au/feature/making-a-splash-3371-2.html

London Preppy said...

tom and luke: Excellent, thanks to both. And within 4 minutes of each other!

Anonymous said...

how about making friends with this 2 american lads, national college wrestlers, who doubled as porn stars

*pics might be gone soon...
http://www.queerclick.com/archive/2008/08/breaking_news_national_champion_wrestler.php

kim said...

Matthew Mitcham - Australian diving

a bit young, but he is gay

dickophile said...

an orgasm? i thought you were asexual.

kim said...

damn it!

should read other comments first ...

Ja said...

I'm really not happy with you for giving me something else to add to my already over obsessed with facebook account. I'm spiraling out of control.

Alex said...

LP, when I read the quote "I never have, and never will" about your hair, I had the urge to see pictures or hear a little story about your teenage years...

Really, what were you like as a teen?

Joe B said...

I think the serifs are simply feeling left out, not being seen in any font on the site and all, so they used this post to remind us all that they do still exist. ...Just a starved cry for attention in a sanserif world.

London Preppy said...

dick: I only used orgasmic as an adjective, I haven't experienced it myself

alex: I was the most obsessed, narrow minded indie kid

Jeff said...

i love that you love the Olympics. At work I'm pissing everyone off because of my complete sincere love of all of it. Do you you think Michael Phelps is hot or do you not dig the swimmers bod.It might be be because I lived next door to him in ann arbor, Michigan, but i love him. Do you even know who I'm taking about? because American broadcasting can't get enough of him.

Gert said...

very LP I guess, not caring about your hair but letting a Toni and Guy hairdresser cut it.

Jeremy said...

asian hair-dressers are not very chatty. maybe you should try them. there's plenty in sydney.
however it is hard trying to tell them what you want...but you don't really care how your hair turns out anyway, so it doesn't matter.

Superdrewby said...

ROTFLMAO

if you do actually come to Australia I will introduce you to the Sydney Convicts - a couple are damn hot, do a facebook for Bailey-John Nicholson

as for Gay Olympians a gay sydney boy is Matthew Mitchum - http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/whomagazine/1055/?page_is_popup=1&photo=3 very sweet too, and Lachlan his bf is quite sweet too...

Graham said...

LP,

I can't find the opening ceremony anywhere on the net, can you point me to the link you used on the BBC website? I missed the whole thing (stupid work)

Maluminas said...

The chinese athletes are all robots! ROBOTS I TELL YOU! I have to flee! They'll get me! I must disappear into the country!

Oh no! 4 black SUVs just parked in front of my house! I have to go, NOW!

Aaargh!!

*gunshots*

*body being dragged on the floor*

*tires screeching*

*silence*

george said...

but your not like 89% of the male population out there. you are special. did you keep your hair? you could have auctioned it off on ebay for your sydney fund. any chance of pic of new hair cut?.....george

AlwaysReadySF said...

I think I will have to agree with Alexei that the Opening Ceremony was the biggest spectacle in the history of the world...well, the one we know at least.

I am still in owe at the people walking sideways on that big ball on which Sarah Brightman was standing/singing....

Stephen said...

Completely off topic, but has anyone mentioned that Scott looks like Matthew Fox - the guy from Lost?

Quigley Cox said...

I've just come back from a holiday in Sydney on holiday (don't want it to be too hot)and it truly is a wonderful place. I went to see an Aussie Rules Football match...my God!I think it's mandatory to be fit-to-**ck to play it professionally, whichever team one plays for. That isn't a euphemism. BTW; they're all gorgeous.

michael01 said...

Can one be pallid and world-weary in Australia? Yes, of course--but it doesn't seem the likely destination for someone committed to remaining like that... How I puzzle over your secret agenda.

Anonymous said...

London Preppy, have you ever used, or been tempted to use, steroids to build up your chest?

As a fitness fiend, what do you think of them? Bad or useful?

thanks

Anonymous said...

London Preppy, have you ever used, or been tempted to use, steroids to build up your chest?

As a fitness fiend, what do you think of them? Bad or useful?

thanks

michael01 said...

A suspicion lurks in the back of my mind: you want to be happy. Even if that means the "demise" of London Preppy... Oh, what do I know--I'm just typing.

Anonymous said...

I'm interested.
Were you in Greece during the 2004 Olympics?
Did you volunteer?

Nancie Pants said...

What's up with the font change?

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

If/when you go to AUS will you work? Can EU citizens get work permits easily? I guess you'd need to be employed from here, in good time *before* the move to get an employer to sponsor you, no?

London Preppy said...

jeff: Of course I know Phelps. I'm a swimming groupie. I watched Thorpe several times at the Commenwealth Games in Manchester in 2002 and went down to the pool level and shook his hand. I don't even fancy these people, I just like swimming

superdrewby: Cool, I have now requested these people's friendship (like a good stalker)

graham: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00cwh7g/

stephen: People have said that yes, I don't really see it though

michael: I'll explain my skin tone plan for Aus in one of the next posts

anon: I've never used them, 9 out of 10 of the gay people I socialise with have. I can't say never, but no plans soon. And of course they're both bad and useful (if you want to achieve what they help you with)

anon: I was living in London then so I couldn't volunteer or anything, but I did go back for 3 days and watched athletics, water polo, swimming

red: UK citizens can get a working holiday visa if they're under 30 quite easily. I do have one of those

Graham said...

LP,
Thanks for the link. Sadly it's only available for those in the UK :(

Anonymous said...

I'd love to know how you got on with adding all the sportsmen on facebook...

Anonymous said...

How would I like my hair done ? In silence !