Friday, 15 August 2008

Friday 15/08/08

So this is a Thursday when I decide to wear my new moccasins at work, my new moccasins which I decide to wear with: regular fit jeans from the Gap, brown leather belt from the Gap, pink shirt from H&M.  And the moccasins individually look like this…



…and the outfit as a whole looks like this…


Then I get on the tube where the newspaper informs me of Michael Phelps’ diet, a 12,000 calorie per day diet, which consists of the following: 

Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelette. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes.

Lunch: One pound of enriched pasta. Two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo on white bread. Energy drinks packing 1,000 calories.

Dinner: One pound of pasta. An entire pizza. More energy drinks.

For reasons too complicated even for me to comprehend I decide to get inspired by this and increase my daily calorie intake as well.  Because I’m not going to swim several miles a day though to burn 12,000 calories off, I just decide to add 300 calories, so at lunchtime I go to GNC and after researching protein / energy / meal substitute bars for about 28 minutes, I buy 12 Proto Pure Chocolate Deluxe bars (with 32g of protein, 26g of carbs and 7g of fat per bar).  This is a meal that will fill the gap between 1345 chicken and tomatoes and 1500 tomatoes. 

After work and before the gym, I receive a text from A Girl, which says: 

My horoscope in The Sun tell me: “the Mars Mercury alliance helps you to learn more and expect more of yourself.  This can mark the start of exciting times with work or a personal project.  You realise that sometimes love means letting a partner say sorry.  Luck is linked to a musician”.  Yours says you should check old lottery tickets 

To this I reply: 

Morrissey in Why Don’t You Find Out For Yourself tells us: “Don’t rake up my mistakes, I know exactly what they are”.  But Morrissey in Nobody Loves Us tell us: “And we just can’t wait to make more mistakes and we just can’t wait ‘til the whole thing blows up in our face”.  Make of that what you will in coordination with your horoscope. 

A Girl says: 

It is a complex world and Morrissex addresses this complexity in his work.  On the same lines I can’t wait until tomorrow, another day.  It will either be fantastic or a complete disaster.  I am up for either. 

Then I go to the gym where I do chest and abs, wearing my straight boy rugby inspired outfit, as described yesterday.  The straight boy with the lovely nose that I stole the look from is also there and he’s wearing something very similar, whilst doing back.  He actually looks over at me a few times during the workout and I can’t decide whether it’s because: 

a)       I’m wearing the same clothes as him and he thinks that I’m crazy and stalking him

b)      I’m wearing the same clothes as him and I’ve got him fooled, he actually thinks that I also played rugby at University and he feels some sort of affinity because of our similar background 

At this point, I’m willing to guess, neither. 

Then I go home where I decide that I’ve had enough of the black hair and looking like a Trash regular from 1996 (quote from Enid), so I summon up Scott and we go to Boots to buy some peroxide (step 1) and brown dye again (step 2).  The shade of brown I go for this time is Light Ash Brown.  Why not. 

On the way back home I text Donnell and Pam with the following: 

I need your help.  I’ll have to dye my hair brown at some point when the black starts growing out.  In the meantime, do I dye it now?  Is the black really hideous or should I keep it a bit longer?  Do I do it tonight or not? 

Donnell never replies.

Pam replies: I don’t think it looks that bad – I think it will look worse with another 2 layers of dye on it though. 

So I keep the black for now.

And finally...

GONE

38 comments:

gill said...

What's with the last picture.

Are those tears ?

AlwaysReadySF said...

I can't quite tell if you have re-dyed your hair for 6th time or not but I do agree with Pam that you need to let your hair breathe a bit before you do anything else to it.

Too much dye too soon will (a) ruin it and (b) might turn out quite horrifying.

I am ambivalent about moccasins in general although I did just buy a pair of really nice leather ones by ____ but I can only wear them once a week or I feel like I have turned into my father.

Nice pic. No smile. Perfect LP style. Although I think you have a very cute smile so it might not hurt to show it once in a while.

Anonymous said...

is that you LP? You look sad, but very cute!

Jon C said...

Were you crying?

Maluminas said...

Why are your eyes red like that? Did you cry? :(

jhkirkendall said...

Maybe he got some hair dye in his eyes.

London Preppy said...

always: The father look (grandfather actually) is what I was going for!

Ben said...

I wasn't going to say pink eyes from crying, more from being subjected to the pollution of London, or perhap even just the pollution in your life: how you look after a day in the office, maybe?

Phoenix said...

I can't quite decide if your imitating the boy in the gym's dress sense is hilarious or cruel. Maybe he thinks he has started a trend.

Everyone has been talking about Phelps' diet today! And yet he stays so lean, it's just beyond bizarre. He'll prob age prematurely from all the free radicals.

The moccasins are .... interesting...

prepster said...

So, i'm going to leave my thoughts here as my comments:

1. i think those are hideous shoes. especially with that pink shirt and jeans.

2. you look like my grandfather in that last picture. congratulations.

i think that's it for now.

Foxx said...

LP....I like the wet eye look :)

george said...

are pigs flying? what happened to your signature red block? i am perplex and in total turmoil at what you have done in this face pic. it will never be the same. i hate moccasins....george

deikse mou said...

I still don't know how you manage the storage of eleventeen hundred pairs of shoes in that flat. Speaking of which, are you subletting when you go to Sydney?

michael01 said...

I'm voting that it wasn't crying... Mainly because that would be a literal display of emotion--which must be avoided at all cost. Are you familiar with Cindy Sherman's photo self-portraits? She fakes a variety of feelings and attitudes and I think that's what you're doing in this pic. It has a pleasant artificiality.

Superchilled said...

I get the last pic. It's a natural red block over your eyes. Forget computer generated, this is the real thing.

Mike said...

Have you considered shaving it off? It will grow back... eventually. When people ask why, you can always say you're protesting protesting E. coli or something.

nouveau ├ętoile said...

is that you?!

with eyes?!

if so, there must be something seriously wrong.

timbo said...

I thought the picture was of Gary Barlow. It took a while to realize I was wrong as usual.

dickophile said...

finally. a picture where you look absolutely miserable. as you should be. and yet, you're pretty when you cry. so what brought on the tears? they look almost genuine.

Anonymous said...

Either you were crying, or you were looking directly into the sun to get a great picture of your eyes.

With a better picture quality the blue would look amazing.

seahorse said...

either i have lost the plot or im fackin mad but im sure ive seen enuff pics of LP to know that the pic is of somebody else right?? ??

besides there is a trademarked red block missing and according to magazine shoots that is not preppy!

he is cute though, number?

andy said...

whatever, i dig the moccs. i've actually been trying to get a pair that look just like that. i'm sure it would be a lot easier to find them if i, you know, actively tried.

Anonymous said...

No wonder you wanted to get plastic surgery on your eyes and always red them out.

j said...

the moccasins remind me a bit of pocahontas and the last picture kind of burns a dark spot in my soul. all in all, a good post.

London Preppy said...

ben: It's the pollution yes

phoenix: Nah, I'm sure he's surrounded by people who dress like that

prepster: Thanks for point no.2

deikse: I hadn't thought of that. Do you want it?

London Preppy said...

michael: Maybe you're on the right track

mike: But I look horrible with shaved hair

timbo: I fancy GB

anon: It must be the sun since I never cry innit

London Preppy said...

seahorse: Yes, it's not me

andy: They were a rare find on the English coast so I had to had two!

anon: I'm not one to judge people ever of course. But you're such a cunt

j: Pocahontas will be a huge style icon this year, just wait and see

Tom Gaylord said...

Great new shoes:)

Gav Dublin said...

Don't mind the comment,s Prep (I'm quite sure you don't give a fuck anyway). The moccasins are very nice indeed!

Gav Dublin said...

Don't mind the comment,s Prep (I'm quite sure you don't give a fuck anyway). The moccasins are very nice indeed!

bartleby scrivener said...

1. I love your recession chic (H&M, the Gap). Is this intended to show your empathy with American readers?
2. You didn't tell us where you bought the moccasins.
3. Can you explain the difference between moccasins, boating shoes, and driving shoes?
4. Cole Haan does a mean moccasin that is probably really a driving shoe.
5. Pam is right. You must wait for the brown to come in and then cut your hair. Alternately, shave it all off now. But peroxiding it and then re-dying it brown will make you very unhappy. Promise.

London Preppy said...

bartleby:

1. I just like cheap clothes innit

2. I got them in Cornwall whilst on holiday, some local leather shop. I like the added touch of authenticity

3. No, not really. I just know when I see them. Apart from I have no idea what driving shoes are

5. No comment on this for the time being

AlwaysReadySF said...

How do I send a picture on here. My moccasins were actually officially "driving moccasins" by ___. I think those are "driving shoes". They are basically shoes that are too soft, delicate and nice to do anything but just rest your delicate shoes in them while you drive an expensive sports car. No, strike that. Are DRIVEN around in an expensive car.

Graham said...

LP,

Your moccasins look very comfy and I like the overall look of thursdays outfit. I'm sure you will rest easy knowing that.

g

James said...

I can't see the photo with the red eyes, is my Mac fucked again or have you removed it? Und, vere are ze results of ze best bod comp? Or have I totally missed this too? X

Trybaby said...

Aww crap I missed the picture :P

Anonymous said...

What are the white lines on your jeans (2nd pic)?

another said...

Good you've removed the picture. For a wild moment I though you were actually a human being and it was quite disturbing.