Friday, 1 August 2008

Friday 01/08/08

I'm not up to anything, I'm completely inactive, every piece of information I receive seems pointless and completely indifferent to me, I am wondering whether the rest of the people comprehend he ridiculousness that surrounds them, I am convinced there are important things in this life, but I can't think what they are right now.

On Thursday I'm on my way to work and I’m walking down some steps on the underground reading page 244 of The Secret History and listening to Connection by Elastica (key lyric: “who wants a life, anyway?”) when I’m stopped by the feeling of soft flesh against my knuckles…

…I look up and see this woman, in her 40s (I can’t remember much else, it all happens so quickly) giving me a very dirty look, I dare call it a snarl, and tut-tutting so loudly that I actually hear it above all the guitars that are playing in my ears. I know it’s only 9% my fault because I’m walking down the correct side and not expecting anyone to be walking into me, I point to the other side of the barrier where people going her direction are supposed to be walking, I shout OTHER SIDE at her, I walk off admiring…

…how much of a single-minded vindictive witch on a war path this person is, to continue walking towards me until she gets my knuckle in her eye just because she thinks I have to a) stop reading while I’m walking and b) get out of her way. I wish I were such a warrior.

I go to work, manage to get out of there at 1750 alive – well, as alive as I’m ever likely to be, really – and head to the gym.

In the gym I do arms, abs, announce to Superman that I’m going to Sydney, realise that the gym has suddenly turned very gay, try to remember a time when it wasn’t so gay and you could work out with fewer sideways glances (except for the ones that were directed from me to the straight personal trainers and Superman), try to figure out where it all went wrong, decide that going wrong is the natural course of all things that concern me, resign to the fact, have a shower.

On Thursday evening I go to bed at midnight, battle with an overactive mind for three hours, wake up at 0530 and think some more until 0710, pass out only to get woken up by my alarm at 0820.

And what else is happening is:

a) Scott told me that two people have mentioned to him in the last week that a picture of mine is on the cover of a regional gay magazine. Neither of these people could provide any more information. Helpful as this is, can anyone else help? If I’m on the cover of a magazine, I’d like to know, you know? Let’s not aim to high here, I’m guessing it’s something like the Reading version of QX or something. Any information?

b) On a slightly more important, less small-town-gay-rag note, I have been invited to talk about London Preppy in a gay literary night. This is Polari, which as its myspace page tells us, is a “Gay literary salon night, hosted by author/journalist Paul Burston at Trash Palace, 11 Wardour Street, W1 every second Wednesday of the month”.


I’ve been asked to talk in December, at which time I will be in Sydney, but don’t worry, Mean has stepped in instead and he will do a reading of London Preppy blog excerpts for me. And if this whole thing sounds like I’ve just made it up, well I haven’t, it’s a true story, so you should go.

Details here (http://www.myspace.com/polarigaysalon) and the blurb for the December event is:

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 10 - POLARI BLOGGER NIGHT WITH CLAYTON LITTLEWOOD, DAVID BENSON AND LONDON PREPPY

Clayton Littlewood's blog on Myspace has been turned into a book called 'Dirty White Boy'. He'll be performing excerpts with actor David Benson. Plus there'll be a guest appearance by the infamous gay blogger known only as 'London Preppy'.


Pretty cool, huh?

c) Finally, is anyone going to Brighton? Sounds like perfect non-tanning weather with lots of cloud, the occasional rainfall but still quite warm. We like that.

20 comments:

Maluminas said...

I've been noticing people staring at me in the metro and bus lately... It's making me nervous...

rhino75 said...

I bet warrior-woman was French. They're brilliant at that sort of thing. Last time I bought an ironing board at least two people walked into me while I was STANDING by a wall holding it - what are the odds? I'm catching the Eurostar to Brighton tonight - never miss it - but what will you be wearing? I wouldn't want to miss out on a London Preppy sighting...

Connecticut Yankee said...

Prep -

Congrats on the literary night, sounds rather interesting actually, and I might just even have to go along.

I figured you would be happy about the weather for Brighton. Would not want you to get any sun or the like now would we.

Unless it pours I'll be along, not that I expect to see you as I won't be able to recognize you without the red bar...maybe you should get a special pair of glasses made.

Anonymous said...
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Gav Dublin said...

Hey LP,

Well done on the invite!! It must be gratifying/depressing to realise that people have noticed your writing skill/innate melancholy and have requested to expose yourslelf to public praise/criticism!! Ps Will you really be away or are you just maintaining your anoniminity?

You will have to provide your mate with a red covering of some kind for his eyes when he attends!!

michael01 said...

Congrats on the Polari gig. That's exactly where you need to be...except that, as you say, you'll be in Sydney. Hmmm. Sartre wrote a short novel, Nausea, which I think describes, through the experiences of its protagonist, a great deal of what London Preppy is feeling.

seahorse said...

all wrongs will eventually turn right no? Thats if you heavily into karma... Will superman be dashing over to sydney every now and then to the rescue? Enjoy the weekend at the seaside!

DJ said...

Hey LP,

I'll be heading down to Brighton so probably bump into you down there. I know you want to stay pale but the rest of us like a bit of sunshine! Bring on the sun.

D

Jim said...

I worked in London for a summer. My greatest joy in life was going up and down the completely packed escalators with all the locals neatly standing to the right, one on each step. Then you would find the odd tourist standing on the left, obliviously talking to his or her friend standing on the right.

I would start at the end of the escalator and run as fast as I could to maximize the effect or popping up right behind them and shout "STAND TO THE RIGHT! STAND TO THE RIGHT!" and then watch them scramble to squeeze in to the space that is already occupied.

It was great fun.

michael01 said...

Oh, and I think you can get quite tan on a cloudy day in Brighton. The visible spectrum is dimmed but the ultra-violet rays are menacingly present. (Am I wrong--anyone?) So you still have to wear your sunblock creme.

London Preppy said...

maluminas: You sound crazy. 10/10

rhino: I don't know what I'll be wearing yet, but I'm incredibly short and white

connecticut: Yep, hopefully cloudy but no rain

gav: No, I really will be away. I'm very glad about the timing obviously

London Preppy said...

michael: Thanks! Oh and don't worry, I never leave the house with exposed skin without sunblock 50 in the daytime

dj: Shall we compromise with cloud and sunny spells?

jim: I think everyone does that, even if they don't want to walk. Poor tourists

DJ said...

Yeah, we can compromise with cloud and sunny spells. I'm not one for too much sun.

Slap some factor 50 on Scott as well. I have vague recollections of him looking very sunburnt last year!

Paul Burston said...

Looking forward to Bloggers Night at Polari. Pity you can't be there in person but I'm sure your words will speak for themselves. Paul x

London Preppy said...

Thanks, Paul :-)

AlwaysReadySF said...

HA - that's pretty cool!

That is too bad that you won't be there... I have an exam to sit through on Dec 6 here in the US but I have to travel to Europe for work the following week so maybe I will stop in London to listen to the Bloggers night...

So has the idea of the ticket-around-the-world been killed completely at this stage?

d said...

so youve may or may not have discussed this ad nauseum, but i wanted to ask your expert opnion (and of course the only reason why i think youre an expert is because you decided to mark your flesh with this persons name), anyway, i was out at a friends house and friends of friends were also there, and the topic of movies came up and someone mentioned american psycho, and i had said that i liked the movie (eventhough its been years since ive seen it) but that i liked the movie because you really couldnt tell if he actually killed those people, or if it all was in the guys head. well i got a couple "really?"s, and a few sideways glances. one girl was sure i was wrong and that she hated the movie because he was a lunatic and it was glorifying violence (yada yada). admittedly it has been years since ive seen it so i couldnt really back up my claims, and i really started questioning if i totally made that up or not, or dreamt that or not. so i piped down with my opinions that that girl was sure i was wrong about. and since im a vindictive silly fool who always wants to be right, even if i never see that girl again, i just googled it and of course (according to wikipedia) the movie could be interpreted a few different ways. but like i said youre the expert... whats your opinion?

ANDRE said...

I was thinking that you should create a section on the side with quotes or memorable phrases that represent you the most, from songs/books/movies/people screaming on the street.

That would be interesting...

Anonymous said...

I think the film of 'American Psycho' doesn't work because it cannot reproduce the ambiguity of the novel, or indeed the full horror of the nasty bits.

London Preppy said...

always: Yes, that's not happening anymore

d: I've read similar thing about the book. That maybe it's real maybe it's in his head. (I can't comment on the film, I don't care for it one bit) I don't really have a view about this to be honest. And it doesn't affect what I get out of the book. As for the girl who said blah blah blah it glorifies violence etc, well I certainly hope you killed her