Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Wednesday 23/07/08

This is the daily reminder to enter the BRB ’08 competition (send pics to Amazingly we have a couple of entries now, and they're very good too. So maybe you should also enter.

Another thing that I google on Monday apart from my (online) name, is the phrase “Bret Easton Ellis tattoo”, because I want to find out if anyone else on this planet has one. So I come across this guy’s blog, and this guy has a list of things he did in 2007 or something, and one of these things is: Got a Bret Easton Ellis tattoo.

So my next step is to email the guy and this is a conversation that unfolds like this.

Me: Hi mate, this is quite random, but I came across your blog and saw you had written that you have a Bret Easton Ellis tattoo. Is this true? I was just wondering, because I have one myself. Cheers, LP.

Him: Yeah, I've got an Ellis tattoo it's on my shin. I'm eventually going to add Gabriel Garcia-Marquez and Charles Bukowski. Where is yours? Where are you from and how did you find my blog? Peace, ___

Me: Mine's on my bicep. I've attached a picture. I've got another one that references Less Than Zero on my back. I'm from London, and you? I just typed "Bret Easton Ellis tattoo” into google and landed on your page. Was just curious if anyone else had one. It's cool that you do anyway.

That’s what we have so far.

On Tuesday I go to the gym with Scott, where we do something or other (something being back and other being abs), and Superman is there, being his usual Superman self, and I says to Scott. Oh my God, look how pale he is. I wish I were that pale. And Scott says, but you’re actually paler. And I says, why? And Scott says, because he’s human.

And I actually think that Scott only says that because he wants to please me, but I’ll take it though, I’ll take anything that I can get at this point.

Also at the gym we have Pale Personal Trainer and Pale Personal Trainer is not working, but he’s working out instead. And he’s working out with two other personal trainers from the gym, one of which is quite attractive I guess, and the other of which is very attractive indeed (even though not as attractive as Pale Personal Trainer – but who is, really?). And what we know about this attractive personal trainer guy is:

- He is about my height, but we’re willing to forgive him that
- His whole look is that of a ginger person, but he doesn’t actually have red hair. So he’s very pale and kinda red, with lots of freckles etc, but he has brown hair
- He is English
- He has a huge tattoo across his shoulders that reads ENGLAND in an elaborate gothic typeface. This is so unacceptably working class that it’s actually cool
- The highlight is that his nipples are so pale that they’re actually almost the same colour as the rest of his skin. This is one of my favourite quirky things on people

We will refer to this person as Ginger Personal Trainer from now on, even though he’s not.

So PPT and GPT are working out together, spotting each other, being the lads and that’s when I says to Scott, wouldn’t you like to be in that group and Scott says, no, and I says, I would. Straight and ladd-y and work-y out-y. And they remind me of a line out of The Secret History which I’m re-reading and the line says:

“A big boy, the sort who played football in high school. And the sort of son every father secretly wants: big and good-natured and not awfully bright, fond of sports, gifted at backslapping and corny jokes”

This is who I want to be and this is who I’m not.

Also, on Tuesday lunchtime I’m walking back to the office with a Boots chicken wrap in a plastic bag, and I come across ___, one of the two other writers for the Attitude piece I wrote recently.
Remember? And ___ has a copy of the magazine which they just posted to him, and I look at it briefly (VERY briefly so I'll comment on it when I have seen it properly) and then go back in the office and email Attitude to send a copy to me. Which I should have today when I get back home.

The magazine is out in the shops on Thursday 23rd July apparently and it has Steve Jones (Channel 4 presenter) on the cover, wearing just a hairy chest.


d said...

this is something about that milky porcelain skin that is incredibly sexy. i was obsessed with this ginger-type awhile back, but since im obviously invisible it didnt work out. oh well.

Trybaby said...

Maybe you two can create a club of people with literary tattoos.

Is that american football? Why would anyone want a dumb child?

michael01 said...

"...big and good-natured and not awfully bright..." You are cursed with consciousness, LP, yet there's that persisent nostalgia for its opposite. I know the feeling. How comfy-cozy mediocrity seems. You could settle for what surrounds you, unburdened by anxiety or doubt-ridden amitions for something more. Just floating in a milky bliss the shade of pale nipples.

London Preppy said...

d: I'm also invisible to the gingers it seems, I have never been near one

michael: Very poetic. AND pale nipples. 8/10

MrM said...

A big boy, the sort who played football in high school. And the sort of son every father secretly wants: big and good-natured and not awfully bright, fond of sports, gifted at backslapping and corny jokes - is who you´d rather be?
But then what would we read?
I´d much rather have you as my son, I hate my good-natured son.
And I agree, nipples the colour of skin, especially pale, are A +

Anonymous said...

its a good article.
i assume your friend in the piece is scott.

lenocinium said...

You don't want to be Bunny, I'm sure. Bunny is dumb, and takes pride in it. It's sad really. You'd rather be Camilla, but not in a 'she's the girl' kind of way. Camilla is the one Tartt puts all her emphasis on (I think the line is the Queen to their Jacks?), and she controls that group. Francis is drawn to her, Charles has a perverse relationship with her, Richard has unrequited lust and Henry recognizes she's the one (after her murders someone, but it's still love). And the reason that Camilla is that centerpiece to the group (and the novel) is because Tartt doesn't actually write Camilla. Camilla is all angles, and pauses, and short spurts of dialogue. She's blood in the lake, she's a clot of blood on the hairline, and she's the blood in the Oresteia. She is beauty. She is terror. And for that, she is respected, awed, and admired.

London Preppy said...

mrm: Yes, it would probably be a very different blog then

anon: Thanks. The reason why I'm happy with the article is that I've kept the London Preppy style completely. And they didn't change it at all. Anyone who reads it and is a reader of the blog as well, will definitely know

lenocinium: I well and truly love your comment. I actually clicked on your name to see if you have a blog that I could read

Anonymous said...

All the ginger characteristics except ginger hair, but I think that if you look carefully, in strong light, you'll discover that he has very dark ginger hair the colour of Cooper's Vintage Oxford Marmalade.

London Preppy said...

anon: To be fair, yes I think he does. And I bet it goes redder in the sun.

Do you go to my gym?

Gav Dublin said...

I, pathalogiclly, for some reason, am adverse to gingers. However I could tell you one very strange/hot house sharing ginger story but, well, im generally also adverse to publishing my love life on the web. Go Ginger, go Prep!

I, for the happy viewing of Graham, another of your loyal posters/readers, am conscious of my spelling today as he took me to task yesterday for same!! Hope your enjoying the wedding G!! (Not his, panic not!!)

chris said...

"...And the sort of son every father secretly wants: big and good-natured and not awfully bright, fond of sports, gifted at backslapping and corny jokes"... and that you wish you could be... makes me want to cry really, the depth of that. i like how you see.

Anonymous said...

Hi.. thought you might like to know that you're in out magazine at the moment - it's the picture that was taken at gay pride in soho..I saw it yesterday when I picked it up from a bar on the way home..:)

Matty said...

gav dublin - you admit to terrible spelling yet still (i) spell poorly and have terrible grammar and (ii) dis Gingers. As a Ginger I am offended at your spelling, etc. "Adverse" - wake up, "pathalogiclly" - please.

London Preppy said...

anon: Oh dear, what am I doing in there now? Thanks - I'll have a look

T-Bone said...

LP: Oh dear, what am I doing in there now?

looking your hot pale self as usual..;)

AlwaysReadySF said...

For those of us who do not live in London, please either scan or provide access to some online version of this article...

Matt said...

Don't know if you've seen this website, but...
Clearly you've got the best literary tattoo ever documented.