Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Wednesday 09/07/08

meet up with Scott because I’m skipping the gym and we go to some pub, a pub where we don’t order anything, we just sit there and I’m eating some chicken and tomatoes I picked up from Sainsburys on the way, and Scott is reading some London leaflets that some tourists have left there, and then some tourists walk up to us from the next table and say, have we left some leaflets here, and Scott says, yes, and then the tourists say, OK can you give them back to us when you’re done and Scott says, OK, and then 20 minutes later the tourists come back and say, can we have our leaflets back now and Scott gives them back.  I would have given them back the first time round.  In fact, I wouldn’t have picked them up in the first place. 

Then we go to over to Marks & Spencer’s where I buy six new pairs of underwear for £22.50 (buy 3 and get 3 half price), underwear which is a new low in my gay career, because these are big, baggy, frumpy boxer shorts with either checks or stripes, and no gay at my age who goes to the gym and loves/hates himself as much as I do would be caught wearing.  I like that. 

Then, Scott goes home and I go to a venue called the Mermaid Theatre in Blackfriars, where some guy called Brett Anderson is playing a concert.  This guy used to be the singer of a band called Suede, a band which I’ve gone on about so much in the past that I don’t need to say anything else.  No wait, I’ll say that seeing Morrissey in concert on Friday followed by seeing Brett Anderson in concert on Monday is one of the main reasons why I’ll always live in London – with the occasional short break here and there. 

So Brett Anderson goes on stage at 2030 and he wastes an hour of our lives going through all his solo material, but then there’s an interval and he comes back and plays 16, yes 16, Suede songs.  I have to give a list of these songs, because if any Suede fans are reading this they’ll be very excited, the rest of you can skip through to the end: 

Saturday Night

The Living Dead

My Dark Star

Pantomime Horse

The Still Life

The Wild Ones

By The Sea

The Power

He’s Gone

The Two Of Us

The Asphalt World

So Young

Everything Will Flow

Trash 

Oh yeah and before playing Trash he says are there any requests, and everyone shouts a million songs, even though most people shout for The Killing Of A Flashboy and I shout for Stay Together, and when he plays Trash that nobody asked for I leave the concert in quiet, dignified protest. 

On the journey back home, it’s now past 2300 on a Monday night so the only people on the tube are tourists who have nothing better to do and one group of those tourists are these four American kids (aged 18-22 I guess), clad in the usual American college boy gear and making loud conversation, so naturally I walk near them and wait for the next train listening in to their conversation. 

And that’s when one of them says, OK I’m gonna say the name of a country and you’ll say the first word that comes in your head.  

So he says: “Colombia”, and one of the other guys says: “British”.  And the first guy says: “what”?  And the second guy says: “British.  As in British Columbia”. 

And that’s the final hit I need this Monday night to send me into

41 comments:

Trybaby said...

I'm surprised you eat tomatoes, they are acidic.

Lol British Columbia, by far the best province in Canada. Maybe they are from Canada instead, seeing as British Columbia is a Canadian province. I guess to a foreigner Canadians and Americans look and act the same, except I think Americans act more like jerks.

London Preppy said...

trybaby: I have to eat something!

Yes. Maybe there were. I don't know

blueyedboy said...

M&S 35 year old straight boy boxer shorts? I think that these should be the theme for your next photo post. Getting 6 pairs for £22 is a bit of a bargain though - does the fact that I pay that much for one pair make me really really gay? ;)

dickophile said...

any hot straight boys in the pub? i have this fantasy about moving to london and instead of hitting gay clubs going to pubs and picking up some drunken rugby player like one of those sandbach boys.

James said...

They were obviously worldly Americans or the response would have been "District of".

Eddie said...

I did a 4 month holiday in Australia which rocked. Comment I received as an American-

"Well you're not fat and you don't think the world revolves around you so cheers!"

Steven said...

With the numerous times you've been photographed in underwear, why aren't you given some free pairs (instead of having to go to M&S)?

I don't understand...

Anonymous said...

You're right--boxers are sexy because no one would get caught dead wearing them. What other cool/uncool stuff could you start wearing?

-Scott from the US

Anonymous said...

trybaby, being from Canada your not biased against the Americans are you? I don't think jerks are from any one country, their just jerks.
Andy

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
AlwaysReadySF said...

No, no. They were Americans. Canadians would never say anything that dumb.

Still can't get over the fact that 14 people would wish a total stranger the worst. Wow.

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

Ah. British Columbria...

...the resonance of our sad, long-gone Empire reverberates on... LOL

Jim said...

Aw, Trybaby, you called Americans jerks. Isn't that kind of a jerk-ish move?

Yes, the four teens were most likely Canadian. To the foreign untrained eye most Canadians and Americans look the same and that is why Americans wear the Canadian flag pin while in Europe so people won't spit on them.

The big secret is that Americans masquerading as Canadians go BIG. Just like all the food in America. BIG flag pin. BIG flag patch. "I AM CANADIAN!" they shout.

A real Canadian would never do that. a small flag pin and nothing else to identify them as Canadian. Because they are secretly ashamed of where they are from. And to shout at people and boast that you are not American would be very crass indeed.

Wasn't that clever? I managed to insult two groups in one comment!

Anonymous said...

Americans are jerks, Canadians are pussies.

I love diversity.

Jeff said...

Good job with the underwear. I almost never notice what underwear people are wearing, and if i do happen to notice a gay guy wearing brand-y underwear, it's actually a turn-off.

I don't really get why college boy answer is that ridiculous. Granted my first response would have been cocaine, but if anything I'm impressed by his knowledge of geography.

Cockbag LLC said...

Try some American Apparel briefs they fit amazingly well and this is coming from a guy that wears said baggy boxer shorts

London Preppy said...

blueyed: Isn't it? I've spent lots of money on expensive underwear in the past of course - I'm glad my current fad is also economical

dickophile: Nah. Just oldies or people after work

james: I wish I could clear this up but I have no way of identifying Americans from Canadians

eddie: Nice!

London Preppy said...

steven: Well, even when I was doing underwear shoots all the underwear used to be gay

scott: Hmm...I don't know. Any suggestions?

andy: Agreed

always: Yeah I think I'm kinda done with this poll!

London Preppy said...

red: Ha ha, I better no one else made that connection from hearing the story!

jim: Yes, you have, well done. At least no one can blame you for taking sides!

anon: Same as above to you. Well done for not taking sides and insulting everyone in one swift move

jeff: That would have been my first response too, I was worried my mind is messed up but it's the obvious answer, isn't it?

cockbag: I bought some once (size 32) and they were huge! Mind you my size is 30, I don't know why I got 32, I guess I was trying to be big and clever

Oldyeller said...

"Nah. Just oldies..."

I believe I'm in that category through no choice of my own and am therefore incensed. Changing my vote now. I should also admit that I'm an idiot American. [insert stupid smiley face here}

London Preppy said...

oldy: Nah, I mean proper oldies. Like in their 70s or something. People who hang out in pubs all day. Not really my type, you know?

Anonymous said...

"Only 14 !" would be my response but I'm very old, misanthropic and haven't fucked for months and that does things to you.

For anti-gay wear I recommend 'qs' - 3 tees for a fiver, or 2 quid each if you want a coloured one and pants your mum would buy you.

London Preppy said...

anon: Well we have a new poll now. I want more punishment, you see

B said...

mmm There's a major flaw with the poll. Firstly, I don't really find white guys attractive. Something to do with most of them thinking that British Columbia is in Colombia might have something to do with it.

Generally I don't find European, Australian or American white gay boys at all interested in anything outside white, western culture which is a tad depressing.

Annnyway, my point is that I'm not sure how you can have a pale or a tanned black or south asian guy. Any ideas? Actually having said that, you can buy skin whitening cream in India.
Yes, I'm full of the sweeping generalisations, insults and self-contradictions which are inspired by one of the worst days of the year being in July.

London Preppy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
London Preppy said...

b: Well I guess I never intended the poll to cover every different possibility, I was just curious about what people (who have an interest in white guys then) preferred in terms of skin tone. I guess the answer to the point you're making would be, erm if you don't like white guys, probably pass on this one.

It's like if I have a poll in the future saying: what's your favourite ice cream flavour, do I have to have an option that says: I don't like ice cream?

You make an interestng comment though, in this:

"I don't find European, Australian or American white gay boys at all interested in anything outside white, western culture"

I can't begin to tell you how much I disagree with that. I know a lot of gay boys and 95% of them would go for somebody Latin/South American/Hispanic long before they went for somebody super-Caucasian. Why else is the rentboy population of London 99.5% Brazilian?

gill said...

LP,

Hey, just catching up with your blog (been a busy work week)

Pics of A girl ! WOW. She's stunning. She has a sultry thing going on. Looks very good.

You look good too (as always..you lucky git !)

Gill

P.S. Its difficult to tell the difference between Canadians and Americans lately. Since a large proportion of Americans pretend to be Canadian to avoid getting flack when coming abroad (I work with a lot of Americans)

London Preppy said...

gill: That's very interesting - you're the second person who mentions this (about some Americans pretending to be Canadian when traveling abroad). I see lots of people with Canadian pins on their bags etc around London, and I never knew why they did this (I assumed they were Canadian). I didn't know there were imposters amongst them!

gill said...

It's become a common thing from what I gather. It may have come from the fall out of 911 and the whole 'war on terror'.

For a country like the USA which is proud of its strength and self-sufficiency to find itself attacked on its own soil must have been devastating to the National psyche. I think it really struck a devastating fear in most people, but especially to the Americans since it happened to them.

You couple that with the series of natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina and now the economic depression from Sub-prime Mortgage the poor yanks have been taking a bashing on all fronts.

Guess it makes life easier to pretend to be a Canadian. You get to avoid conversations that inevitably get around to George Bush, Iraq and oil. Plus if it were me there are places I'd feel a hell of a lot safer letting people know I was Canadian rather than American.

I like the Yanks. Yes they can be a pain in the proverbial but to me they are like the French. I like to publicly loathe them but behind close doors... well we're all human aren't we ?

dimitri said...

i just tried to vote for 'tan' and it said that my request 'could not be processed'... i think were playing with a stacked deck here!!
hehehe

Trybaby said...

Tee hee of course I don't really mean that. I just wanted to ruffle peoples feathers. But yes of course I agree that jerks are just jerks and they come from everywhere. But come on? It's a little bit true lol :D Oh and I know a lot of Americans who aren't so keen on being Americans seeing as they are basically viewed as the devil.

Oh and Americans have been pretending to be Canadian since forever when traveling. I was even told to put a Canadian flag on my stuff when I travel less someone mistake me for an American. People just really hate Americans and also they think Americans are really rich. Hated and rich means you are going to get robbed.

It's very hard to tell the difference between Canadians and Americans. Some people say accents will help you. They do and they don't. Both Canadians and Americans have many different dialects ie, boston accents(US) and Newfoundland accent(CAN). But because they are right beside each other they do speak very similarly. There are some word choices, sentence structures and intonations that are different if you are listening carefully. But there are a few things that you can hear pretty easily. Canadians say 'been' as BEAN and Americans say BIN. 'Process' Canadians PRO-CESS Americans PRAW-CESS.'against' Canadian A-GAIN-ST American A-GEN-ST. Theses aren't rules but they occur often enough to be notable.

Gemini's Life said...

I love the beginning and end of this post in particular. And please, don't be too hard on the Americans, we mean well! Not like those smelly Canadians! (Am I joking or not, who will ever know?)

Trybaby said...

Oh and yes I think you should put an option on the polls for people who are indifferent. Well just so that you have more accurate stats that is.

Eddie said...

I admit it kind of sucks being an American right now. Luckily I live in NYC so I don't care about oil prices. (except rent increases) I can't travel abroad because of the exchange rate. I feel trapped. I think Maybae from Arrested Development said it best. (best show ever) Marry Me!

NGM said...

i don't like ice cream.

B said...

The reason why white guys are attracted to Brazilians & latinos in general has nothing to do with anything other than their beautiful bodies, big dicks etc. How many Brazilian boys have you talked to and actually had a conversation about Caetano Veloso or anything remotely Brazilian?

However, having said all this, your reply made me realise that perhaps the problem is I'm attracted to said latino guys, who generally are less interested in classical culture - galleries, any form of music other than house - traveling outside Europe. Maybe I should start fancying pale white guys in future, it might have better returns for traveling/art/live music interest.

Michael said...

You got two of the titles incorrect. They are actually:
"The Living Dead" and "The Ashpahlt World"

Michael said...

You got two of the titles incorrect. They are actually:
"The Living Dead" and "The Ashpahlt World"

London Preppy said...

michael: Oops, thanks

Joe said...

LP: If you were to recommend one Suede CD as their best and/or most influential, which would it be?

London Preppy said...

joe: My personal favourite album is the second one, called Dog Man Star. The most accessible for someone who hasn't really heard Suede before is Coming Up