Over the weekend I’m thinking about the Attitude piece that I need to write and what my angle should be, because I don’t think I can just start typing without knowing where it’s going to end as I do when I write this blog (I’m doing this right now). In any case, I’m in bed on Saturday night, lying there awake and suddenly I think of this sentence, a good closing sentence for the piece, and that’s when I know that I have an article: I can work backwards from that.
On Sunday morning I sit down and write the thing, a process which takes a couple of hours, and then I spend twice as long chopping bits off in order to get within the word count.
Then I go to the gym, where I do chest and abs with Scott and then I go to Selfridges to replace my credit card wallet that I lost the day before. And I do like my new Paul Smith credit card wallet, but I’d rather have the £80 to be honest.
Then I go back home.
Then I stay there.
Then I send Brendan the article to proofread it.
Then I take out the Smiths lyrics reference that I sneaked in because it ruins the flow.
In the evening Mummy calls me and says that she never has a go at me, but this time she might have to, because she’s been calling all weekend and I haven’t been answering the phone, and she’s been really worried, and what am I trying to do, give her a heart attack? Then she passes me on to Daddy and Daddy shouts at me for a bit for the same reason, so I say I’m sorry Daddy, I’ve spent most of the weekend with my girlfriend, and what am I supposed to do? Do you want me to look like a Mummy’s boy who speaks to his parents all the time? Then Daddy says fine, but next time they call I have to answer, and if I cannot answer I will have to call back as soon as possible, because I’ve gone completely out of control what with moving to Sydney and everything.
Then the Simpsons comes on so I watch that.
Then an advert for Domino’s pizza comes on, so I order one.
Then Big Brother comes on so I watch that.
Then I finish reading Kill Your Friends and I go to bed.
Which reminds me: I wrote a few weeks ago about this new Big Brother contestant called Stuart. Can somebody send me any pictures / information / anything else you can find on him? I like him. I think his full name is Stuart Pilkington. In fact, at the time when I wrote this, somebody commented that he used to be a personal trainer in their gym somewhere in Cheshire. Do we have any more stories like that? I need more details, anecdotes, etc. Thanks.