Monday, 7 July 2008

Tuesday 08/07/08

Over the weekend I’m thinking about the Attitude piece that I need to write and what my angle should be, because I don’t think I can just start typing without knowing where it’s going to end as I do when I write this blog (I’m doing this right now).  In any case, I’m in bed on Saturday night, lying there awake and suddenly I think of this sentence, a good closing sentence for the piece, and that’s when I know that I have an article: I can work backwards from that. 

On Sunday morning I sit down and write the thing, a process which takes a couple of hours, and then I spend twice as long chopping bits off in order to get within the word count. 

Then I go to the gym, where I do chest and abs with Scott and then I go to Selfridges to replace my credit card wallet that I lost the day before.  And I do like my new Paul Smith credit card wallet, but I’d rather have the £80 to be honest. 

Then I go back home.

Then I stay there.

Then I send Brendan the article to proofread it.

Then I take out the Smiths lyrics reference that I sneaked in because it ruins the flow. 

In the evening Mummy calls me and says that she never has a go at me, but this time she might have to, because she’s been calling all weekend and I haven’t been answering the phone, and she’s been really worried, and what am I trying to do, give her a heart attack?  Then she passes me on to Daddy and Daddy shouts at me for a bit for the same reason, so I say I’m sorry Daddy, I’ve spent most of the weekend with my girlfriend, and what am I supposed to do?  Do you want me to look like a Mummy’s boy who speaks to his parents all the time?  Then Daddy says fine, but next time they call I have to answer, and if I cannot answer I will have to call back as soon as possible, because I’ve gone completely out of control what with moving to Sydney and everything. 

Then the Simpsons comes on so I watch that.

Then an advert for Domino’s pizza comes on, so I order one.

Then Big Brother comes on so I watch that.

Then I finish reading Kill Your Friends and I go to bed. 

Which reminds me: I wrote a few weeks ago about this new Big Brother contestant called Stuart.  Can somebody send me any pictures / information / anything else you can find on him?  I like him.  I think his full name is Stuart Pilkington.  In fact, at the time when I wrote this, somebody commented that he used to be a personal trainer in their gym somewhere in Cheshire.  Do we have any more stories like that?  I need more details, anecdotes, etc.  Thanks.


Gav Dublin said...

Jesus LP,

Deja vou !!Are you quite sure your Mother and Father are not Irish LP and thats where you get your paleness from? They sure sound like it! Do they go "holy mary mother of god" or "jesus christ almighty" when you tell them something shocking? It's a sure sign!

Best of luck with the article!!

dickophile said...

im surprised you guys have dominos. i dont know why but i thought that was strictly an american thing. do you have pizza hut too?

Alex said...

Note to LP: Your new poll is skewed in that it has no option for people who are indifferent.

Note to LP Readers: Naturally one of you will be able to get a hold of this Attitude article if/when it comes out, and naturally you will proceed to scan it and then naturally inform other LPers of this scans whereabouts on the interweb?

Matt said...

Hmm, I also have taken a liking to Stuart and found out these snippets from my weekend research:

* Worked at David Lloyd in Cheadle Hume as a PT
* Has a mascara fettish and also wears nail polish
* Likes to nude model
* Once won an abs modelling competition
* Has a 5 year old daughter
* He says boys dont like him--"they find him too good looking"
* "A lot of my friends are, like, gay and stuff."
* He thinks his attitude might annoy others because he'll struggle being told what to do, and he also sniffs all the time, which gets up people's noses.
* Stuart doesn't support any political parties, thinks the world would be better off without religion, and would like to see the monarchy disbanded.

But if you aren't over your crush, check out this picture:

Information over.

Matt said...

And is Dale that bad??

Jeff said...
has had a lot of coverage of stuart on BB UK. loads of pictures and some videos

Anonymous said...

he sure has the gay face going on..not sure i find him attractive nonetheless enjoy the vid Preppy.

michael01 said...

Your parents sound adorable, and I would probably act exactly as they do under the circumstances. I think it was Woody Allen who said no one whose mother is alive can be an adult! S.Pilkington is quite adorable too, in a quite different way. He looks remarkably like a drawing by Michelangelo, from the late period.

London Preppy said...

gav: I guess Greek and Irish parents are similar then?

dickophile: Yes, Pizza Hut too

alex: Well, that option is not to vote at all I guess

matt: I saw this picture, but I don't mind. Don't we all horror pictures from when we were 15?

matt: Dale's alright. He looks too young for my liking though

jeff: Cheers

anon: I like how he lowers his face and gives us the look every time he faces the camera. Actually I don't like that, but there you go

michael: I would act even worse, I would never have let my boy leave the country in the first place!

Ben said...

Stuart does have a fit bod. Very fit indeedy! :)

But there is something about him I just don't like: he is so needy and attention seeking with his faux modesty. I am sure he is hiding something

And, I have said it once, and I will say it again, but what is going on with his eye lashes?!

Give me Dale anyday - ok, he would be better if he were in his te 20s, and a bit more intelligent. But he doesn't seem to be a nasty boy.

Tim in Italy said...

Yeah, you're totally out of control, LP. I take it that striking out on your own, becoming your own person, establishing your own identity constitutes mental illness in Greece?

Otherwise, this Big Brother guy? Not a clue. It's like I keep waking up on a different planet. I've got to get out more.

Anonymous said...

How do you eat such shite food sometimes and maintain a body like that - do you purge?

Mike said...

"Stuart Pilkington has also had experience as a nude model"

Extract from

Anonymous said...

I thought that pizza was strictly a No no when it came to your diet?im just curious do you find eating it is ok even with its level of carbs and calories..

Alex said...

Hey, LP: I saw this picture of Dale on another blog

Should Know Better said...

Are you serious about Stuart? He's the most obvious case of Bobfoc I've ever seen.

dimitri said...

you shouldnt eat dominos. not just because its awful pizza, but because all the money those guys make gets funneled into fundamentalist christian projects... like building a christian town in florida.

AlwaysReadySF said...

I am stunned. I can not understand why 9 people would wish you (or anybody else, really) the worst. I mean....even in the case when you would have a reason to wish the worst to someone, shouldn't you at least KNOW them?

Unless among the nine are: Mean, A-Girl, Scott, etc. but then if that's the case with friends like that who needs enemies eh?


London Preppy said...

ben: I haven't been watching to closely. Scott told me that last night he was crying in bed alone for missing his kid or something. Oh well, I guess they're all playing a game innit

tim: Yes, I think that's right. All these things are unheard of

anon: I don't, no. But if your diet is 90% OK, you can have what you want every now and then really (quote from Brendan)

mike: Hmm...where are those pics then? Even though I'd prefer something in underwear to be honest

London Preppy said...

anon: See diet comment above

alex: That website name is misleading!

should know: Well, there is definitely a reason why he keeps that beard there. But I still like him!

dimitri: Really? Pizza Hut next time I guess

alwaysready: Oh I can explain this. Human nature has three elements that make up your personality: a) being fucking mental, b) being a hateful cunt, c) not being mental or a hateful cunt.

Every one of us has a % of each element to make up his/her personality. Some people are 20% mental, 50% hateful cunts and 30% neither. Some people are 1% mental, 1% hateful cunts and 98% neither.

I will not finish this assumption but you can see where it's going

Anonymous said...

You ROCK man!seriously your a inspiration.iv learned a lot from this blog,life..meaning and other crap.keep well man and good luck with everything ok

AlwaysReadySF said...

You forgot d) being a fucking mental hateful cunt. I know a few people who are 99.9% like that.

Gav Dublin said...

I am obviously sheltered or merely not so cynical, but I know no-one who is 99% a selfish hateful cunt. Perhaps I just try to see the best in people. Its a nicer world if you do! I even think LP is really nice!!

Alfred said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
david said...

He's really hot! Do you have his nude modeling pic?