Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Thursday 10/07/08

And because somebody asked for more A Girl the other day, here’s A Girl in her own words.  This is A Girl on a typical day: 

In other news this work is wrecking me physically (not to mention psychologically, emotionally, and otherwise).  I have a dull pain in my left shoulder making its way down my arm, my lower back aches and I have been drinking a bottle of wine a night just to forget about the current day, the next day and the days after that.  This can’t be good for me.  Also I’ve started smoking Marlboro Reds because my Polish connection ran out of Lights.  As this is the only place I can get reasonably priced cigarettes near work I’m probably going to get lung cancer faster than anticipated. I’m also on my 5th or 6th cup of coffee, I’m craving sweets, salt, anything to add some excitement to my taste buds, give me a jolt.  

On Wednesday lunchtime it’s raining, so I head over to Borders where I spent the next hour reading the NME thoroughly, flicking through Men’s Health, the US edition of GQ and a collector’s issue of Empire magazine with the 100 Best Film Characters Ever as voted by its readers.  

I glance over at Vanity Fair which has a cover story on what it refers to as Hollywood’s New Wave of actors, so I pick that up and look at their pictures.  The article concerns a group of actors whose first names include Blake, Leighton, Taylor (the girls) and Penn, Chace, Hunter (the guys).  I have never felt happier about my choice of middle names – which are as ridiculous as these guys’ – and I have never been surer that when I move to Sydney, I will use one of my middle names instead of my current first one.  So anyone who knows my first name had better forget it whilst I’m in Sydney, because I’ll be using my middle one.  The one with five letters, not the other one. 

Then I buy the US edition of Playboy (is Playboy not published in the UK anymore?  I can’t find a UK edition anywhere), and leave. 

At work in the afternoon Brendan sends me the following email: 

I am so bored. Can you tell me anything interesting? 

I reply: 

No, I don't think I actually can.  I remember when interesting things used to happen to me.  It was in the late 90s.  Now the highlight of my week is going to Borders at lunchtime and flicking through Men's Health. 

Brendan says: 

OK. Well we have a gym here at work... I think I'll just slide away and go for a quick workout.  Heard from Donnell? 

(Donnell was in Madrid over the weekend for Madrid Pride) 

I says: 

OK, let me know when you're back though, I don't want to be left here worrying. I texted Donnell on Sunday and he was still in Madrid and he mentioned something about: post clubbing chill-out parties (?) drugs (?) London scene people being there (?) generally tedious gay stuff that might have been interesting 3 years ago. I haven't heard form him since he came back. 

Brendan says: 

Of course, I will let you know as soon as I'm back. But if u don't hear from me by 4, assume the worst. 

And that is the Wednesday.

22 comments:

dickophile said...

so a girl is sounding a lot like you, but with a vagina which i find fascinating. also, i know your real name and i actually like it and never understood why you hated it so much.

p.s. why playboy? the articles?

Anonymous said...

What's with Playboy? Are you turning straight now?

frann said...

is "a girl" ur alter ego?! i'm confused....

Connecticut Yankee said...

So Prep – what is it about our generation? Why do you think we are so disaffected? I used to think it was a gay thing. This was one of my greatest concerns, that the scene is so stale. And it is. You refer to it in this post. Everyone else goes off and has families and at least has problems to deal with, while the height of problems for the average gay is figuring out which shoes to wear out. I have nothing again fashion designers and dancers, but try finding someone who can relate to my job. Every time someone asks what I do, as soon as I say “well, I work in foreign affairs….” their eyes glaze over with thinly concealed boredom or disinterest. I hate it. I sometimes think I live in this in between world of ambivalence to everything and it drives me insane. My friends are getting married, having kids and all I have is my work. And my partner. And our dogs. Which are all nice and good, but is this really it? And in the end, I am probably limited career wise because I am gay, which is ironic because the ‘community’ to which I belong can be so disinterested and shallow it is appalling. So now I sound like a self hating gay. But here is the catch, my younger sister, now out of law school; living with a nice bloke in the new house they just bought now rings me up weekly to say ‘Is this it? Is this what life is about? Where is the fun, the adventure?’ Needless to say, I told her to read your blog and suck it up. So it is not just a gay thing, it seems to be broader then that. Which makes me feel better. Misery loves company you know.

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

I think you should definitely change your name every time you change your country.

Go the whole hog: also it speaks to your life as a performance art piece rather than latter-day twink-gym-bunny - just teasng apropos the later ;-)

Yours, in glorious sunshine, working from home today...ahem...actually, from the rooftime bar, Moscow Ritz Carlton (*awesome* view over the Kremlin and Red Square - stunningly beautiful; quite movingly so)

Graham said...

LP,

Did Brendan make it out of the gym? Or have you assumed the worst and gotten the authorities involved?

george said...

that was so mundane....yet i had a somewhat perverse pleasure reading it.......?.......george

Michael said...

I asked for, and received, more A Girl.

And she is just as interesting as I thought she would be.

Did I miss what type of work she does? What could she do that would wreck her physically?

She is small and all, but....

Eddie said...

You guys have Borders? I think Barnes & Noble bought it. Also Burger King seems to be called Hugry Jacks in Oz.

AlwaysReadySF said...

This is such a soap opera.

Will A-girl succumb to the emotional, physical and psychological damage she is subject to?

Will LP finally reveal his secret middle name?

Will Donnell survive Madrid's Pride?

Has Brendan disappeared?

Suspense enthralls the readers of the blog....

London Preppy said...

dickophile: I don't know. I like the Playboy brand

anon: See above

frann: No, she's just equally messed up I guess

connecticut: I think you can have the whole "normal" life with kids etc if you're gay as well, can't you? I don't want to despair yet. These are all possibilities for the future, aren't they?

red: Deal - at least I have quite a few names to choose from

London Preppy said...

graham: He had not emailed me until 1645 at which point I had to get in touch. He was safe

george: But let's face it, George. I've been writing for a year and a half. Has anything every happened that wasn't mundane? I consider this an achievement

michael: She does the same work as me!

eddie: Yes, we do! I think there's only very few of them

always: See, there is a plot after all!

Cockbag LLC said...

I have the priveldged of having a unique first name that I chop off the last five letters to make a common name. My middle name is common as well but spelled uniquely due to its French/French Canadian origin.

Confused.

Anonymous said...

connecticut yankee - 'uninterested' not 'disinterested'.

Connecticut Yankee said...

Anon - see below, you may want to pay particular attention to the usage note at the end which explains your confusion, and why you might want to consult a dictionary before you go around lecturing people on their English.

dis·in·ter·est /dɪsˈɪntərɪst, -trɪst/

–noun 1. absence of interest; indifference.
–verb (used with object) 2. to divest of interest or concern.

dis·in·ter·est·ed /dɪsˈɪntəˌrɛstɪd, -
1. unbiased by personal interest or advantage; not influenced by selfish motives: a disinterested decision by the referee.
2. not interested; indifferent.

[Origin: 1605–15; dis-1 + interested]

—Related forms
dis·in·ter·est·ed·ly, adverb
dis·in·ter·est·ed·ness, noun

—Synonyms 1. impartial, neutral, unprejudiced, dispassionate. See fair1.
—Antonyms 1. partial, biased.

—Usage note Disinterested and uninterested share a confused and confusing history. Disinterested was originally used to mean “not interested, indifferent”; uninterested in its earliest use meant “impartial.” By various developmental twists, disinterested is now used in both senses. Uninterested is used mainly in the sense “not interested, indifferent.” It is occasionally used to mean “not having a personal or property interest.” Many object to the use of disinterested to mean “not interested, indifferent.” They insist that disinterested can mean only “impartial”: A disinterested observer is the best judge of behavior. However, both senses are well established in all varieties of English, and the sense intended is almost always clear from the context.

gill said...

Sultry, disaffected with an overbearing sense of some unknown malevolence creeping up behind her to drain her of her very soul. (that would be the 9-5 drudgery then !)

I like her more and more. A dark broody yank without the typical affliction for black hair dye and an unhealthy urge for this 'Emo' twaddle.

She does come across in your quote as having been tainted by the darkness you carry within you. Perhaps you shouldn't spend so much time together.

gill

kim said...

Also Burger King seems to be called Hugry Jacks in Oz.

This is true. Also true is that in Australia MacDonalds is called MacDingos (it's where you go to have your baby stolen)

Ja said...

lp this is all very straight forward but confusing and I like lots. Also, how great is connecticut yankee?

fran said...

it's fran here again...

i just dont get why u're sooo messed up...

u're young...
healthy...
pretty...
have a job...
live in good old LONDON... and u're moving to sydney
u've got a blog and get replies from all over the world...
u write in some wicked mags

so c'mon babe.... life's too short to be depress 24/7!
have fun :)

and get a tan please! ur whitness is freaking me out!

semistraight said...

Oh no, pale is beautiful :-)

Anonymous said...

connecticut yankee - yeah, I know all that (fuck, I'm not thick you know) - I'm one of the 'many'.

Connecticut Yankee said...

Anon - ok, well I take you at your word your not thick, but if that is the case and you know all that then why lecture me on perfectly acceptable English? Because your interpretation as one of the 'many' is better than mine?
This situation is akin to all those straight people who think gays are bad, just because they are one of the 'many' who thinks thats the way it should be because a bunch of silly stories that also legitimate slavery and murder told them so (but I digress). Fuck that, I'll stick with disinterest and being a self loathing gay thank you very much. You can stick with uninterest if you like, it is perfectly legit.

LP - you are a complext dude. One minute you are self loathing gay, the next minute you are gay daddie all giggles and plush play toys. I thought about your response for a couple days. Yes, I guess you can have kids and all that. I support that, but somehow I am not sure it is for me even though I always wanted kids. But lets not get into emotional therepy because a dark and tormented soul is always more creative, so I guess we're better off. It sure makes for great blog entries on your end. And yes, you should write a book.

Given that we are on our bloody, what is is,sixth day of bad weather in London I am going to go and play in traffic and see if that spices things up.