Monday, 28 July 2008

Monday 28/07/08

Here’s the daily reminder for Best Reader Body competition, send your pics to, closing date Friday 8th August. 

I will keep beating this dead horse, until more than two people enter or someone explains the lack of interest.  Last time I had half as many readers and I got about 20 entries.  


On Sunday evening Dad calls and he says, how was your weekend and I say, oh it was great Dad I only had to go in the office and work on Sunday you know.  And Dad is not amused by that, in fact he’s probably more pissed off than I am, so I suppose at least one good thing about that guy is that he’s on my side in terms of work commitment.  Or being taken advantage of anyway. 

Then he passes me on to Mum and I ask Mum, how was your weekend and she says, oh it was So-And-So’s son’s wedding, but I didn’t go (So-And-So being an old friend of hers).  And I say, you didn’t go because you find it painful to see other people’s children getting married because of me?  And she says, yes, how did you know.  And that’s when I don’t reply that I don’t know much, but I know when I’m given another slap in the face, even as discreetly as that. 

On Monday morning I decide to go to work (trying out something new I guess), so I find myself on the tube listening to my iPod, and when That’s When I Reach For My Revolver by Moby, which I’ve been playing repeatedly over the weekend, turns into Suicide Is Painless by the Manic Street Preachers on shuffle (I am not making this up), I pretend this did not just happen, it is not just another sign driving me to fling myself under the eastbound Central Line train.

Work is good as ever / walking around at lunchtime is even better because it’s humid and uncomfortable / I finish nice and early today / I’m out the door at 1820.

In the gym I meet up with Scott, he does arms and I do legm the gym is insanely busy and hot and I even break into a sweat.  I don’t like breaking into a sweat when I work out, it looks like I’ve made an effort or that I’ve pushed myself hard, neither of which are admirable qualities or anything I want to associate myself with.

Then I go to get changed and when Scott comes down as well he tells me that Pale Personal Trainer just gave him a quick training session, showing him how to do some tricep exercise.  And Scott even touched PPT’s arm.  This is as exciting as my week is going to get really, so I latch on to it and ask the following questions:

-       Are his eye nice / can you get lost in them

-       Doesn’t he sound stupid with his Northern accent

-       Why did you grab his arm you stupid queen / oh my God you’re so gay, please step away from me

-       What did it feel like please

-       Is it bigger than mine (I know the answer to this but I thought I’d ask anyway, I need another hit, I haven't had enough today) 

And Scott’s answers, in order, are:

-       Yes, I suppose / no

-       No, I like Northern accents

-       I didn’t just grab it, he was just showing me something and I had to touch it

-       Nice (insert stupid grin)

-       Yes, much and it’s also harder, not squeeshy like your stupid arms (this is true, all my muscles are quite soft – just for show really)

Then I go home.

Meanwhile, I asked the other day if anyone would like to give me any money for my Sydney ticket (if you don’t ask, you don’t get) and one reader suggested that I offer something back.  Which I suppose is fair enough even though I offer and offer and offer by writing thid blog relentlessly day after day, until no one will be left to read.

Anyway, the ideas that I’ve had so far of what to give back are:

a)    I could give some worn / used Speedos again like I used to sell on ebay (for the more lunatic blog-reading fringe)

b)    I could collect and print out some of my favourite posts from this blog (say 50 pages), bind them together, throw some pictures in the mix and some handwritten messages and send that (for others) 

Would anyone be interested in any of these things?


James said...

I think "best body" is a lot more threatening than "best looking", especially as it may come across that you're looking for photographic validation that you're hotter than any of your readers.

London Preppy said...

james: Seriously? Would anyone think that? That I'd do this for self-validation?! I knew this before of course, but I kinda don't want to live in a world where people think like that. Good thing that I'm actually dead

nebpic said...

Yeah LP, i have to agree with James. I think it's a lil' intimidating to say the least. I have an athletic build but not as big as yours. "Best body" doesnt seem to fit into my description.

My 2 cents...

London Preppy said...

nebpic: Well I don't know what to say, the way my body looks has nothing to do with what entries I'd like to see in the "competition". Plus I would never, ever be critical of somebody who was kind enough to send me their pictures for the blog. Anyway, I guess if people don't want to do it, people don't want to do it

Graham said...

"Why did you grab his arm you stupid queen / oh my God you’re so gay, please step away from me"


This line made me smile. Apart from your conversation with your mother, this is the best line in this post.

I don't know why people don't want to enter. Isn't it all just a bit of fun?

London Preppy said...

graham: Mum's always good for the comedy!

And where is your entry, hmm?

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

Ticket thing. How much?

Your thrown-together, blog pages with pics and hand-scrawled jottings could be a collectors' item - like a gay JK Rowling limited edition - and didn't Joe Orton go in for collages? So, you know, shared literary heritage... well, except Orton never *stopped* writing about sex and you've politely not started.

And of course his lover fatally staved his skull in with a hammer...

...other than that, very similar.

That might be rather amusing to own...

James said...

I'm egging on some of my friends, fellow readers, to enter but to no avail. Gutted. But amusingly they seem happy to be snapped at various clubs by Boyz photographers. Maybe I should just take my camera out more and give them a helping hand.... Great post anyway!

London Preppy said...

red: I wouldn't really expect the print-out thing to cover the flight cost (at an-eye watering £957.60), it's actually something that I've thought of doing for quite a while - mostly for fun.

I suppose I'd take anything that covers the costs / postage / my effort at being bothered to put this together (i.e. not that much). And I'd only make a maximum of about 3 of these I guess, because then it would get boring.

Maybe the best/fairest way is to produce the thing first and put it on ebay. I'm not sure

London Preppy said...

james: Ha ha, it's true, I can't offer the prestige of a Boyz matchbox sized picture on page 34, or - oh my God - a Hottie Of The Week appearance [insert smiley]

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Funny. My iPod also plays "Suicide Is Painless" for me when I am feeling particularly low.

Jakob said...

The conversation with your mummy made me smile.
How much for a lap dance? ;) hehe

deikse mou said...

I don't have any interest personally for your used speedos, but I do wish you would start selling them again on ebay. What a goldmine of comic stories it could be.

London Preppy said...

frontier: Nice. I'll tell the story of the song that came up one time when I asked my iPod to give me the answer about whether I should come out. (I sometimes do that - ask a question and put it on shuffle. The next song answers the question)

jakob: Trust me, I cannot, will not gyrate!

deikse: Yes, it's almost worth for comic effect only

Luke said...

I don't think i could enter. I have a reasonably ok body but mainly through rowing as the gym doesn't really hold much appeal unless I can compete or be outside.

Also as you proved how we look is as much a function of the lighting / clothes / talent of the photographer as how fat we may or may not be. My level of vanity hasn't progressed to the point of being able to apply baby oil and have pictures taken without a significant payoff being offered

On a different note. Any thoughts as to "Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust"? How to pronounce it would be impressive.

kim said...

if i remember correctly, scott was voted as the character your readers most wanted to hear more about, and Mean came in second ... since we hear about scott in almost every post anyway, he doesn't count, so Mean is the winner; which means you now get to develop this character even more. Is it true he was the voice-over for Bob The Builder???

London Preppy said...

luke: It's not really my favourite Sigur Ros record ever actually. But that's OK, I'm alright with that. You like or not?

kim: I've actually asked Mean to write a guest post. That was a couple of weeks ago - I'll remind him, or actually he's probably reading this.

Go on

Maluminas said...

Soft muscle? Great, i don't even have a decent amount yet and I'm already worrying about its physical properties... *anxiously feels his arms*

And I'd enter the contest if I had a suitable body. Will you do one next year even if this year doesn't work out? Surely by then I'll be suitably muscly.

And I don't have a tripod for my camera <.< I want a nice carbon-fiber one, you know the 600$ ones? So i can't run to the store and get one right now. Lame excuse i know. And resting the camera on the washing machine won't do, my lenses are too long for the room. So ya, that's about enough lame reasons not to participate. Yet. Phew.

dickophile said...

why does your ipod want you to kill yourself? do you mistreat it?

Gav Dublin said...


With all the respect and will in the world what is with the fairly constant suicide references?

Timmy said...

I would have asked Scott if PPT has a scent. There was a really goodlooking and very good RMT that lived here in Houston. He always had a fresh, natural scent about him that would make me woozy so that sort of started my What does he smell like? fetish.

BTW...I checked for the August edition of Attitude at Borders here in Houston. July is still on the shelf (which surprised me that they had a current edition 'cause usually DNA runs 2 months behind.) I'll keep checking for August.

To raise money for your trip to SYD why don't you sell autographed copies of the Attitude magazine?

d said...

the bound-blog pages thing sounds pretty cool... i would actually entertain the thought of floating you some money for something cool like that... how much?

and seriously, the idea that youd be snickering at my less than LP body is enough not to take the photo! not that i think youd blog about it, but just the thought of you doing that is enough not to.

Anonymous said...

Hey LP - saw this book on a table in a hotel and instantly thought of you.
You should get it. Or at least add it to your wish list. Unless you have it already in which case you could buy another copy just to really reinforce the degree of your priviliged existence by needlessly squandering the money all over again.
Looking forward to the Attitude article, though not sure how I'm going to acquire it as a a pseudo-heterosexual. Petty theft?

London Preppy said...

maluminas: OK, next year then, but you've made a commitment now, don't forget

dickophile: I do treat it with complete disdain yes. Like it should be treated. Like all of us should

gav: Nothing really. Just a blog feature I guess

timmy: That's a great questions actually, I'll definitely ask Scott.

As for the autographed Attitude copies, sure, I'll do that to whoever wants one if they cover the price of the magazine and the postage, even though I'm sure there is zero demand

d: I'll do one first and then mention it again on here, cool

steve: That is so on the wishlist now

James said...

Are you familiar with "Stuff White People Like"? It's a little like Wasp Style but with a sense of humour.

semistraight said...

Well, naturally your blog attracts the kind of readers that will inevitably think that they're "still too skinny" to enter the contest, no matter how much they've bulked up. That said, I'm really skinny at the moment ;-P.

And I always knew that iPods were evil...

AlwaysReadySF said...

So I did think about sending a few pics....although I hardly think I have the "best" body but wouldn't really care as I know it most certainly won't be the worst.

Things that have stopped me (in order of importance):

1. my partner killing me when he finds out
2. my mom finding out and killing herself
3. lack of time to actually prepare, pose, take enough pictures and find the right one to send in

(insert stupid smile here)

jhkirkendall said...


I think you should auction off your used PLIMSOLS! Whatever the hell THOSE are.

--Joe in L.A.

Stephen said...

my guess as to why you have less entries is because you are asking for verification that the photos are genuine.

billybudd said...

Well maybe you wouldn't be critical of body shots entered, but London Preppy sure would be.

I submit that you draft tattoo designs for your patrons to use. With incisive and dry commentary justifying the author, book, and quote choice. Signed and framed.

Anonymous said...

"If you ever need self-validation / just meet me in the alley by the railway station..."

Anonymous said...

um...preppy you look TOTALLY desperate asking for cash..
do u have no self respect at all?

asian guy said...

Despite the apparent superficiality of this best bod contest, i think i'd just bite the bullet and send in mine soon to quench my exhibitionistic desires:)
oh and worn speedos... i like.

London Preppy said...

anon with the Smiths lyric: I love you

anon: Self-what now?

asian: Very good

Ben said...

And what is wrong with a Northern accent?


London Preppy said...

ben: Nowt

Ben said...


Stephen said...

Sorry to put a comment on such an old post, but have you decided on whether to progress with the LP Limited Edition Blog Post printout thing? I liked the sound of that, and wonder where to bid....