Thursday, 17 July 2008

Friday 18/07/08

After the roaring success that was the Best Looking Reader 2007 competition, where approximately only 3% of entrants sent genuine pictures and not pictures they cut and pasted from Free Naked Sportsmen websites (“this is me scoring the winning try for the University Cup last year, it’s a bit blurry because Derek was drunk”), (“I always make the time to read your latest self-loathing rant before I walk on stage slathered in oil and fake tan to flex my muscles”) and the Gant spring/summer 07 catalogue (“I’m a beautiful, sun-kissed, outdoorsy Adonis from Barnsley, South Yorkshire”)…I have decided to bring it all back for this year.

But it’s going to be a little different.

At a desperate attempt to get some proper, genuine entries, this is now going to be the Best Reader Body 2008 competition. This means that you don’t have to send a face picture, or even a face picture with the eyes blocked; just a body shot, so hopefully more people will enter.

Here are the rules for the BRB 08:

1) You must send 2-3 pictures. Definitely not just one. We all know pictures can be misleading – give us a chance innit.

2) As mentioned above, feel free to just send body shots / not include your face. I.e. headless shots perfectly acceptable, if not preferable. This is about body fitness only. Then again, if you want to include your face, or include your face and block your eyes in London Preppy style, I’m not going to stop you, it’s up to you.

3) To make sure that it’s you, please include a London Preppy reference in the pictures that you send. Hold a piece of paper up that says London Preppy, have a computer in the picture with the website on the screen, write LP on your thigh, I don’t care, something like that. In all of them.

4) You can be male or female, or neither or both. I’d rather you were one of the two though. Or just male, really.

5) Please don’t send any completely naked pictures / pictures of your reproductive organs.

6) You don’t have to say what your name is. You can if you want of course, but you can use an alias. As long as you send your age and the city/country where you live, I’m happy.

7) Last time we had this rule where I shouldn’t know you in real life. That’s not valid anymore. Even if I do know you, you can still enter.

As we did last time, I’ll wait for all the entries to come in, narrow it down to a top 5 (top 10? depending on the number of entries) and then we’ll have a public vote amongst all the blog readers.

The prizes are:

a) I’ll dedicate a day’s post to the winner; maybe ask them some questions, that sort of thing (see winner’s post last year)

b) I’ll promote anything you want on the blog for a week (your own blog, your website, etc). Anything that’s not illegal. Wait, I take that back – especially anything that’s illegal.

c) We can sleep together if you want / if you’re that way inclined, but I’m not necessarily forcing this upon you.

d) You can also have £5 in cash via paypal. The prize was £10 last year, but we all know about the state of the UK economy at the moment, plus I’m saving money for my trip.

Please email your entries to

You have three week starting today, i.e. entries must be submitted by 2359 Friday 8th August.


Brian from Chicago,IL, USA said...

Is Kosmokrator allowed to enter this year again? I have a crush...

Tim in Italy said...

You're a glutton for punishment. Well, it will be fun to watch. But so was throwing Christians to lions.

Trybaby said...

Why no head shots? face and head shape are important too.

Wouldn't requiring head shots be better for identifying people? ie making sure they aren't using the body shot of some model/celebrity? It's pretty easy to Photo Shop a picture so that it looks like someone has written on their body "London Preppy" in marker. Or even taking a picture of a piece of paper and writing "London Preppy" on it and then splicing that on to a picture of a body of which they want to impersonate. And there are other ways.

Oldyeller said...

Since AlwaysreadySF and I asked you the same dumb question yesterday at nearly the same time (5 minutes apart), I was wondering if it would be proper for us to submit joint photos encompassing the best features of each (I would contribute the feet for example)?

Anonymous said...

Why no genitals?
Do we not LOVE genitals?
Oh, LP, your prudish Greek side is sometimes such a bummer!
Dickpics please!
Money shots!

Alex said...

I'd like to participate in Worst Reader Body 2008 competition. k thx.

London Preppy said...

brian: Whoever wants is allowed to enter

tim: Yes. Yes! I do it to myself and that's why it really hurts

trybaby: Yes, face and head shape are important too. As is intelligence, wit, sense of humour, compassion, selflessness, a thin pointy nose, blank grey eyes, generosity, etc etc etc. But we're not trying to find the perfect human being here, I didn't think

As for the second paragraph, shall we try and not over-think this one please?

oldy: Don't underestimate feet, to people like me with athlete's foot, verrucas, blisters, etc they are a very admirable feature!

anon: I can honestly say my interest in people's genitals is just below my interest in the size of the 56th freckle on their left forearm. So, no genitals on my blog unfortunately!

alex: That's coming up later in the year!

j said...

i can't wait to see who's willing to be objectified for 5 pounds and an unenthusiastic shag.

Trybaby said...

We aren't, we are looking for the best looking so that's why I was wondering why the head was excluded, it's fair game. It's a body part.

Oh well I already know who the perfect human is. Evandro Soladati. But for you it's what's his name Josh Lewise or something.

And as for not over thinking things you might as well tell me not to breath :DD

"OCD anyone? Yes please, and don't skimp on the anxiety! Last time I ordered this I could actually function in society."

London Preppy said...

j: What a negative spin! Are you me?

try: That's the thing. We're not looking for the "best looking". We're looking for the one with the "best body". The hint is in the name. It's called Best Reader Body competition. It's not called Best Looking Reader competition. I thought I'd made this clear. Why do I have to explain this again? What if every single reader didn't bother to read and just messaged me individually and I had to explain? Please read carefully young man!

Anonymous said...

Erm, sorry to seem to be getting back to my first post - but from your answer to Try, it does seem that you are a little... cocky?

Oldyeller said...

--You have the patience of Job.
--So you are saying that your feet are your achilles heel?
--By "sleep together", does that mean physical contact of some kind perhaps with Scott joining it? Or, if I won, more realistically it would probably just involve us lying awake most of the night as we usually do until the drugs kick in.

Trybaby said...

:O !

London Preppy said...

anon: Very good

oldy: The "sleep together" prize is up to the winner. People can take it any way they want. I do like your suggestion though. Bring some downers

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

One supposes there will never be a "oh sh**, s0-over-the-hill-but-brimming-with-character-and-solvent" competition?


No, I wouldn't either. Grim...doubtless, photogenically, terribly grim.

Which is Straightitude's ultimate curse on the gays... 1st world, condom-wearing gays ought to see 80-years old.

What do the buggers do for the last 40 years? I mean: one might spend age 8-15 saying "ugh: am I really? Blast! How will I cope with it?"... 'enjoy it' (bodyphobicism or whatever & angst etc) for 15-20 years... and then 40 years of exiled misery.

Old age is, perhaps, the God Squad's last laugh on the 'faggotry'...

Seriously, not having bred, one ponders old age: my strategy? Pick favourite Godchild, make them 'sole heir' (work like **** to make them rich) and *hope* they'll pay to have one euthanized when it is the kind thing to do...

Gill said...

Yes but don't you snore ?

Also when you say "sleep together" why do I get the visual image of a Bunkbeds in a downtrodden B&B in Cornwall where the sheets are pure nylon and getting into bed is the equivalent risk of electrocution as licking a light switch..

**Goes to bath in Tipp-ex**

London Preppy said...

red: I would love to find the reader most brimming with character, or the most intelligent reader and so on and so forth, but how does one judge that. The only aspect I can (subjectively still, but...) evaluate via this blog is the physical one. I.e. Oscar!

gill: Nah, I don't snore.

That Newquay b&b sounds ridiculously close to my experience though!

Excellent plan with the Tipp-ex too

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

Oscar, of course, while always something of a podgy old queen, had wit, talent a money: a strategy that has sustained many one imagines...

...he also had the good manners to drink himself to death before old age...

...OK: 'Plan B' - LOL - mayhaps I can practice that one...

dimitri said...

what if youre a straight guy with nothing to promote, and no paypal account, because those fuckers screwed you over a couple of years ago?

what do you win then?

London Preppy said...

dimitri: If you're a straight guy with nothing to promote, and no paypal account, I guess the best that I can do if you win, is to go up to the girl that you like and tell her: my friend over there likes you, he's a great guy, etc ,etc.

I.e. set you up. Girls like the gays I'm told (I don't know).

Anonymous said...

one day we may be together :)

Stephen said...

In order for the recipient to receive £5 via PayPal, you will need to send them £5.38.

Otherwise, they will only receive £4.63, and you will look worse than an ITV phone-in competition.

London Preppy said...

stephen: I'll take this as an entry. Please forward your pics

Mike said...

Any insight on current survey results? Why some were selected over others? Perhaps a future post?

Jay said...

while i won't be posting, i'd be very interest to see the results ;)

Anonymous said...

Do skinny pale bodies count?

London Preppy said...

mike: Well, here's the top 3:

Scott. As Scott pointed out, anyone who's my boyfriend would win this

A Girl: She's as crazy as me. Anyone who reads this will appreciate her too

Mean: As above

London Preppy said...

j: That's not the spirit!

anon: Of course!

Jay said...

trust me, if i had anything to show off, i would!


gill said...

I've decided that if I win (should I actually get off my arse and enter) then I want you and A-Girl to go into work (choosing a day where you have an important client meeting) dressed as Bonnie and Clyde.

Fake tommy guns, spatz, the whole enchilada Σουβλάκι or whatever...(I love Google translate. Now if only I can encourage the Americans to use it to speak/type in ENGLISH)


(Only Joking Yankees !!)

London Preppy said...

gill: Perfect. We've been looking for a new theme ever since Funeral Wedneday

Gill said...

What happened to 'Day of the Dead' Monday where you lot drag your sorry carcasses into the office after an all night bender at some sweatbox, meat market club ?

When I've done that I love how I always fit in an anonymous 'Client lunch' on that monday i.e. me hiding out of the city in a bar in Shoreditch pretending to work so I can recover from the night before. Hey it buys me a couple of hours out of the office !!

Anthony said...

Should it not be funeral friday, if only for the alliteration?

Alex said...

Can the winner sleep with you if he/she's a minor?

London Preppy said...

alex: How minor please?

timbo said...

I don't think the survey/voting process is fair. Those who are already mentioned the least have had the least exposure to readers, and are therefore likely to receive less votes due to reader's existing unfamiliarity...thus perpetuating their absence from the blog even further!

If Mean was given his proper due, he would be winning in a landslide.