It is mid-June and I've been trying not to think about it, but this summer is nearly over and here we are. Another wasted year. Another wasted lifetime. There have been too many summers. I keep losing track of what year it is, how old I am, what my favourite things in life are, oh wait, I don't have any.
And now that’s out of the way, here’s the second part in the series of condescending advice, which isn’t really advice though, it’s just a description, because we don’t like advice.
Reading a book.
Reading a book can be a wonderful thing for several reasons, not to mention the fact that you can listen to songs like Handsome Devil by The Smiths (sample lyric: “there’s more to life than books, you know, but not much more) and Big Casino by Jimmy Eat World (sample lyric: “there's lots of smart ideas in books I've never read, when the girls come talk to me I wish to hell I had”) with a knowing look in your face, perhaps even a wry grin, like you know what these people are talking about, like you belong to a small select group of people who read.
Choosing what book to read each day is like choosing an outfit really, it all depends on where you’re going and what message you want to put across to people. Some books are meant to be read as publicly as possible (e.g. The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus, anything by Marcel Proust) and they are the literary equivalent of a brand new pair of leather shoes you just spent £350 on. They are not very comfortable but you need to be seen with them.
Be careful, other books are like an old New Kids On The Block t-shirt tucked into your underwear worn with a pair of white cotton socks and should only be read at night around bedtime. Plus you’d have to quickly kick them under the bed if you had anyone staying over. Such books include the novel Star by Pamela Anderson or badly printed Agatha Christie volumes you picked up at the airport on your way back from Magaluf (you were hung over and needed a comfort read).
There is also a small category of books that are the literary equivalent of wearing a white Ku Klux Klan hood, which basically means that, if spotted with them either in public or in the privacy of your own home, you should be instantly shot in the head. These books are The Da Vinci Code and the whole Harry Potter series (for anyone above 12 years of age).
Occasionally books can operate as an opportunity to flirt, like this one time when I was on the tube and this girl was reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, which impressed me so much I spent the entire journey trying to make eye contact with her, hoping she would look up, see our instant connection, fall in love with me, walk over and kiss me. None of this happened of course, but I put it down to the fact that she probably was a suicidal nutcase.
Finally, it is often said that everyone has a book in them. Having met / worked / socialised with a great number of people over the 28 years, I can now confirm that, sadly, this is not true. Some people I know only have a postcard in them, others a post-it note, and unfortunately a small number can only manage a couple of two-line repetitive anonymous blog comments.
PS. As we all know the Wireless Festival is coming up soon at London’s Hyde Park. Does anyone have any spare ticket/s for any of the days? I know there are several free ones going round through promotions etc, because it never sells out. I’ve managed to go for free over the last two years and I don’t even have any connections. I’ve bought a ticket for one of the days this year because I really must go to that one, but there are bands playing every day that I would like to see (just not enough to pay for it). If you do, please let me know. I’ll even make you a compilation CD or something in return (I’m very generous like that).
PPS. How should I take it that the website of Australia’s main gay magazine has put up a feature on me all through this week? (Showing different pictures every day from a photoshoot I did last year here in London).
The text in the latest update says:
“Here we are at Perve Day Thursday and just in time - ___ is finally taking most of it off (NOTE: I am not, I’m wearing underwear thank you very much) He's been a pretty adorable buddy of ours this week and who doesn't think he shouldn't get a free pass into Mate Of The Month, June '08? Thanks, ___!”
Is this a good sign of how quickly I’ll get destroyed in Sydney?
62 comments:
....and you were thinking you were not going to make any friends in Sydney. There goes that worry eh?
Was the look they were going for the "gay car mechanic" of the week or something similar? :-)
On a totally unrelated (and serious) topic, have you ever read anything from Marguerite Yourcenar?
...and...I do resent the shoot-me-in-the-head comment about Harry Potter! Fine to get rid of all The Da Vinci Code readers but what's wrong with HP???
Oh yeah, sorry but I can't publish any comments that mention the name the magazine website gives for me
mr Preppy kala ta les, alla den eimai ths apopshs oti opoios anthrwpos de diavazei vivlia einai aparaithtws kenos kai rhxos...gnwrizw anthrwpous, oi opoioi diavazoun ki apo thn allh akoun eleeinh mousikh (skuladika klp)...oute sumfwnw me to oti kapoia vivlia prepei na diavazontai dhmosia...mporei na tuxei kapoios kapoia stigmh na diavasei ena vivlio sto metro h kathws perimenei th seira tou sthn trapeza, alla oxi auto na ginetai eskemmena...autes htan oi parathrhseis mou :) to ksereis oti se diavazw taktika kai ta posts sou ta vriskw super, opote mh mou thumwseis :) an katalava kati lathos se parakalw diorthwse me
"oh he is so hot I love his six pack" - what were you saying about people merely having a post-it note inside of them...?
Like Tom Cruise around the eyes? Must be the red bars I suppose.
Me, jaded? What are you talking about?
mr Preppy kala ta les, alla den eimai ths apopshs oti opoios anthrwpos de diavazei vivlia einai aparaithtws kenos kai rhxos...gnwrizw anthrwpous, oi opoioi diavazoun ki apo thn allh akoun eleeinh mousikh (skuladika klp)...oute sumfwnw me to oti kapoia vivlia prepei na diavazontai dhmosia...mporei na tuxei kapoios kapoia stigmh na diavasei ena vivlio sto metro h kathws perimenei th seira tou sthn trapeza, alla oxi auto na ginetai eskemmena...autes htan oi parathrhseis mou :) to ksereis oti se diavazw taktika kai ta posts sou ta vriskw super, opote mh mou thumwseis :) an katalava kati lathos se parakalw diorthwse me
Well, lucky we didn´t comment on the name then, Vassilis!
Name? Was there a name? Did anybody actually READ the text? I had no idea that one would/could read gay mags too. I thought they were only good for the pictures. How fabulously novel.
always: Yes, I've started making the wrong kinds of friends ha ha.
No, not read Marquerite Yourcenar. Info please?
I don't really care for HP, that's all. Now the statement that people should be shot for reading it should be taken with a LARGE pinch of salt!
skountoufli: Oxi vre paido den sou thymono. Plaka kano fysika sto post, pslokoridevo kai allous alla kai ton eafto mou otan kai an diavazo vivlia pou fainontai kai kala intellectual :-)
anon: Yes, you can pretty much fit that on a post-it note ;-)
anon: Very good, thank you
Sorry to be writing three posts in less than ten minutes (hey! it´s wednesday evening, ok?) - but _ Marguerite_ fucking _Yourcenar_...
She is the best of both worlds, a pair of 500 quid shoes which are actually super comfortable to wear first minute on... Her prose is just fantastic. Do read "The memoirs of Hadrian", one of the best books ever written in the French language. Might make you a bit hellenostalgic, but so what. Plus Maggie as a person too, a combo of old, world weary (maybe even nihilistic?) Belgian lesbian who moved to the East Coast, and at the same time she has such a love for all that is great and good in mankind - it just makes me want to weep. Read it already, all thumbs up for alwaysreadysf for bringing that one up.
anon: Just because you used a word such as Hellenostalgic I promise to read this book. Nice one
Hi!
Not been on here for a while, so just doing some catching up lol
Omg, it seems you have already had an impact down under, before you have even landed! In regard to the magazine.
what on Earth happened to the LP youtube project? that "Menswear" one was ace! And also what happened with the wikipedia page too? questions questions questions....... :-)
Marguerite Yourcenar was possibly the greatest (female) French novelist of the last century. Her most famous novel is Memoirs of Adrian but I don't necessarily think it's the best.
Back when I had a life and time to dedicate to serious (i.e. not Harry Potter, obviously!) reading I read pretty much every major novel she wrote.
Her style is extremely erudite (you will definitely NOT be able to complain about lack of research on any of the topics she writes about) to the point of being almost a historian.
She is able to merge history with philosophy into fascinating stories. A couple of her books are about her family all the way back to the 1600.
My favorite book is by far L'Œuvre au noir, which is also somewhat of a historical/fictional novel, just amazingly written.
Now that I am talking about it... it makes me want to go home and read it so I think I am definitely going to do that tonight!
Anon: I couldn't have put it any better. And yes, if you can read her books in French that's even more amazing. I manage to read a couple in French but that was a bit too difficult in the end.... :)
damo: Welcome back. I decided to delet the youtube page, don't know why. I was over it. The wikipedia entry got taken down after a couple of months
always: Thanks for this, I will definitely check her out
Oh, for fucks sake, quit yammering, haul it over to Oz and write the damn book! Some blokes only got a post it note in them? You've got a saga; maybe 2. Talk about creative constipation. It's no wonder you're so flippin' unhappy! So, get out of here! Yes, go get destroyed, wake up in the gutter, fuck a pig, get addicted to something, or someone, completely unfashionable, and in the meantime write and be brilliant... like we all know you can be.
You're welcome. I will be expecting a written report on the books read ;-)
tim: It's only a matter of time!
Speaking of the stories people have within: I'm sure a blogwriter such as yourself has AT LEAST a novella or something in there.
c'mon write something.. then we can take it and adapt for the stage and film and all that jazz.
Totally agree with the Harry Potter/ de Vinci sentiment. There is a group on facestalk called:
Harry Potter - not read it, not seen it, not f*@%ing interested
Maybe you should join.
As for people not having a book in them. Am not sure i agree. I think i have met lots of people who probably think they have a book in them. Whether they should write that book is the real question. Obviously not in about 99% of cases.
As people are recommending books... Given you read lolita recently, perhaps other Russian books,e.g.
The Master and Margerita
or even books in the style of Russian books e.g.
The peoples act of love
or maybe a just a bizarre Western. e.g.
The Hawkline monster.
I would like to claim that i discovered all these book, they are fantastic, but i did not. Luckily both my flatmates are writers and i get their cast-offs. Without them i fear i would be stuck with Waterstones top 20.
alex: Thanks for saying that. I do have something in mind...
w: I'm near the end of Lolita currently. Definitely given me a taste for more Russian writers. Thanks for the recommendations
Let me start by saying how much I love these recent posts.
But what about the people who don't read books at all? I'm prepared to put up with a lot of things (and I mean, a lot) during even the briefest of romances, but I have to confess that nothing strikes more fear into my (cold, jaded, snobbish) heart, than entering someone's flat/studio/room/cave and discovering that they have no books. One time last year, I had a minor panic attack when discovering that my amour-de-jour did not read at all (except maybe Supplement Facts Per Capsule). The best I could do for reading material, was scrummaging for the back blurb on a pirated DVD.
Yes, I realise this classifies me as a snob, but really, now... no books?
Well that explains why I've taken a bullet to the head!
I'm not sure that I have a book within me but I'm sure I have a Broadway musical full of showtunes and dance numbers.
Apropos Russian authors, and the other suggestions above, I've always had a soft spot for Crime and Punishment for "public reading kudos factor". Beware, it's a tough read: at the time I felt it unfair that Raskolnikov commits the crime yet the reader bears the punishment.
I know exactly what you mean about time marching on, and never seeming to get anywhere of note. From 21st the nights will be drawing in and winter will be coming :( Ugh!
On another note, the Big Brother season is upon us, the true sign of summer :)
What do you reckon to Dale, LP? Hot or not?
timmy: Aha - but can you write music or would you just have to hum to a composer?
nix: "at the time I felt it unfair that Raskolnikov commits the crime yet the reader bears the punishment" = 10/10
ben: Well...Dale...I can see that he's attractive, but I wouldn't personally go crazy over him, you know?
Summer is nearly over?! Huh?
Summer doesn't even begin until June 21.
Prep -
You should read 'Tender is the Night' by F Scott Fitzgerald. He does not write in the style of Ellis, but I think you would enjoy his works. They are all brilliant stories about life, death, craziness, the superficial nature of society, deep unhappiness. I suppose I enjoy them because they are often about Americans living abroad, not always, but often. His writing would also give you some more insight into prep society, which you might find of interest.
Also, a style note, I noted you wearing some polos in a few pics. Preps in the USA always pop the collars on polos. Does not matter how many you are wearing, one, two, three, polo layered with Oxford shirt - collars all must be popped. Anyway just a thought from the inside.
david: Everything good is over before it even begins. But that's from a future post, titled "plodding through life in a pointless manner"
Tim's right, the move and book are probably good ideas. Who would play you in the film adaption?
I guess I'd feel slightly exposed going to a new continent with the title of "Mate of the Month" to live up to, on the other hand I suspect you'll enjoy it.
I like Gobbledigook the new track by Sigur Ross alot btw; thoughts?
Hey LP, your advice on books -- my sentiments exactly. Though I can't put it in a delightfully eloquent way like you.
Also, I think we need a separate post listing all your reading recommendations, even the ones which are like a New Kids t-shirt.
i think it's harsh to toss all those who don't read books. people choose to spend their time how they want to spend their time. it makes no one better or less than another. if you don't like their activities or their avocations then just move on, no need to bully those who don't read books frequently.
i don't read fiction very often as it's an avocation of mine, but i do make time to read the paper everyday. i believe not reading any literature (current events, nonfiction, or fiction) at all is silly, as it is only for one's benefit.
p.s.: the last photo in the first set(where you have your left arm and your right shoulder) is the most endearing shot of both sets. for someone who looks to literature so highly it's funny how you choose to model and become another piece of meat. you do have the great blue eyes, that call out for love, and a brain.
p.p.s: is a screenplay an okay substitute for a novel?
Sorry to lower the tone, but at that other site the comment:
"he has many performance in London. He look even better than the pictures if you see him real."
made me LMFAO. '____ he love you long time' etc...
I have to play catch up on your posts. I am just landed back home in a crazy, flag-waving, horn-tooting Moscow... they won a fottie match you know... having been traveling in a way-cool Uzbekistan and then Prague. Your blog is like '24': a few episodes missed and while the characters are the same, the plot has gone off on some wildly improbable tangent. Which is why I love it, of course.
Master and magarita , it is amazing , the devil descends on patriachy prud causing mayhem , it is a chagall painting in motion . You will read it over and over again
An international celebrity now? How can you possibly keep your head on straight (in a manner of speaking) when shit like this happens?
I think you forgot Danielle Steel. Her followers most definitely must be given a good cleansing. Is gassing still in vogue?
never reaad either one, but I do love the HP movies! ha.
good post. later
aha! touche' LP. to answer your question...
I can read music and it has been a long time since I have attempted to compose the smallest of ditties but I have it in my skills set.
Putting the lyrics to the composition would be a chore but I would do it if you would make a cameo appearance in the musical of my life. You could be like a muse or something of the sort.
In regard to the choreography for the big dance numbers, I have been known to bust a move on a Saturday night.
LP...OMG Love your photos :) Hot very hot!
~Dan~
So if I were to decide to end my days as a non-reader, what book would you recommend starting with? I'm even more nervous about choosing a book now that I've read your post.
but isn't that the essence of life "plodding through in a pointless manner" and loving it? because who the fuck cares!
Guess those pics were taken before the BEE tattoo.
June 17th smile pic is the best one on the site. Definitely love your smile.
connecticut: Thanks for the recommendation, "stories about life, death, craziness, the superficial nature of society, deep unhappiness"? Sounds like I might like this
luke: I don't know what the "mate of the month" is and I'm not sure I want to!
I do like Gobbledigook - I've added it to my gym playlist this week
rambunctious: I definitely will do that (and include the joke ones too)
anthony: I'm not really tossing people aside because they don't read. I'm just writing (what I hope to be) and entertaining post. If I wrote non-controversial posts day after day with views that nobody raises an eyebrow at, people would get bored. And yes a screenplay counts.
As for the modeling, well again that's why I think what I write is interesting, because it comes from the perspective of somebody who also has these trashy experiences. Why can't somebody look to literature highly AND be a piece of meat?
red: Ha ha, yes, I have no idea what "performances" that commenter might be referring to. I can honestly say I have never performed in anything in my life
oldy: I just don't know how I can deal with such fame. I'm still taking it in, I will always be the same person, etc
dan: I haven't seen the movies either I'm afraid (well actually I'm not afraid at all)
joe: I'm bad at recommending anything to anyone (apart from music) but maybe you can get ideas from the (soon to come) post about books, as mentioned above
mike: Who the fuck cares is a good life motto. I should remember this more often
jon: Yes, they were. I actually don't like the way I look in them (my hair is too short) but thanks (insert smiley)
laying in bed with a fever, sweating my nads off and receiving texts from unsympathetic friends wanting favours. I decide to read your blog on my iPhone and I'm yet again surprised at the quality of your writing.
Not a being a big reader, I find your blog entertaining enough to follow it pseudo religiously.
Keep it up mista!
Aah...thanks Rob! Hope you're feeling better soon. And I will actually include a smiley here even if it usually pains me. Here :-)
The thing I find most amusing about people who read widely is that they automatically feel they are superior to people who don't read.
Which I think is true in most/many cases but certainly not in all.
Not everyone has to rely on the words of others to stimlulate thought in themselves.
I feel honoured to have received a real live smiley. Thanks LP! BTW The pics over on that magazine website do you no justice at all. You're sooo much hotter in the flesh.
I second the Fitzgerald suggestion, but considering your preppy persona, think that This Side of Paradise might be a better fit.
LP,
I think everyone has a book in them, they just wouldn't have a clue how to get it out, nor would many people have any interest in reading it. Of course, there are those that have many books in them and yet I still have absolutely no interest in what they have to say.
As for life and plodding through. Thats what we all do. We can paint a smile on it and say we have purpose, but isn't that just the post hoc justification for all the mistakes and errors we've made? Can we even call them mistakes and errors? We plod on through the mess, trying to make sense of it all, justifying our existence as we go in a vain attempt to make ourselves feel like there is a greater purpose to it all.
Not sure if it's been mentioned in your previous posts, but do you have a liking for poetry?
Summer is just overestimated..!! Things such as summer loves and the like simply do not exist... End of discussion..!! Filia apo Ellada..!! By the way, aren't you going to come at all..??
Based on the first paragraph of this blog, I think you'd really like "Fourth of July" by Aimee Mann.
"Today's the fourth of July /
Another June has gone by /
And when they light up our town, I just think /
What a waste of gunpowder and sky."
"Everything good is over before it even begins".
Which is basically what Mallarmé says with "La chair est vieille, hélas! Et j'ai lu tous les livres", which (très) roughly translates to "All flesh is vain, alas! And I have read every book...". Maybe it's not a novel you have inside yourself, but sonnets and stanzas and tons of verses of XIXth century poetry... if you can bear the thought, that is. Wasn't there a moment when you were hesitating about which English second name you ought to choose for yourself and you were toying with the idea of "Byron"? There we have it! You're a closeted poet!
And don't lie, you've used smileys before, Mister Tough Cookie!
Enough pseudo-intellectual diarrhea postings from me.
anon who said "Not everyone has to rely on the words of others to stimlulate thought in themselves":
The point of reading is that you can use other people's knowledge and thinking as a basis/inspiration. It doesn't mean you can't think for yourself. But you can't ignore everyone else's wisdom and start from scratch every single time. If that were the case, the human race would be stuck in a constant circle of inventing the wheel and discovering fire
graham: More plodding views in today's post!
quigley: No, I've never got into poetry I'm afraid
lapofthegods: Mpa, mono to Septemvrio...
toby: Damn it, whatever I write, somebody else has written it before. Oh well, I can wear blinkers and ignore anything that has ever been written before so I can think I'm a genius as ann suggests above
anon: Again! My idea not original. I don't know if I can take it anymore :-)
I use smileys in special circumstances when I need to put the point across that I'm joking (it's often difficult in the written form obviously) - just like above!
'This Side of Paradise' would be good for Prep, but I think really all of Fitzgerald's works are just stellar. Perhaps start with 'This Side of Paradise' or 'The Great Gatsby' another one of my favorites. (homoerotic undertones on top of life, death, and superficiality) (is superficiality a word?)
'There's more to life than books you know, but not much more''
Oh Preppy, you handsome devil, if I wasn't fictional, and you weren't partly fictional, we'd make such a wonderful couple. Listening to Morrissey and Suede, developing devastating crushes on inappropriate people at the gym...
BTW, my favourite Suede lyric? 'Class A, class B, is that the only chemistry between us....'
Oh, the magic of quotes:
"June, she´ll change her tune/(...)/ July, she will fly, and give no warning to her flight/August, die she must/(...)/September, I´ll remember, a love once young that´s now grown old" (Simon & Garfunkel - I do hope this is not to gay for gym).
In other words, Summer is totally over-rated, and September, to Greece you´ll fly...
1 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;
2 While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:
3 In the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened,
4 And the doors shall be shut in the streets, when the sound of the grinding is low, and he shall rise up at the voice of the bird, and all the daughters of musick shall be brought low;
5 Also when they shall be afraid of that which is high, and fears shall be in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:
6 Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.
7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
8 Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity.
9 And moreover, because the preacher was wise, he still taught the people knowledge; yea, he gave good heed, and sought out, and set in order many proverbs.
10 The preacher sought to find out acceptable words: and that which was written was upright, even words of truth.
11 The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd.
12 And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
To quote Mark Twain, 'The person who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.' That was on a card I received a book token in, or 'in which I received a book token.' Some would argue (myself included) that just because Latin sentences never ended with a preposition doesn't mean that English ones shouldn't. To misquote Winston Churchill, that is a rule up with which I cannot put. I'm drunk. Goodnight LP.
I don't know why you're mourning the end of summer - when you arrive in Australia, topsy-turvy, arsey-versy country that it is, it will be spring, when you arrive back in London it will be spring !
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