Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Wednesday 11/06/08

On Monday I spend about 87% of my waking hours researching lyrics for my complementary tattoo with ___, sending the lyrics to ___ and getting shot down.  I have now gone through every song released by Suede, Morrissey, The Smiths and Gene and we have not agreed on anything.  And I refuse to have lyrics by any other band tattooed on me.  

In any case after having submitted about 60 couplets to ___ I now give up and I’m waiting for him to come back to me with some suggestions.  His one suggestion so far has been for me to have 1,2,3,4,5 tattooed on me, and for him to have 6,7,8,9,10.  A sequence of numbers that complement each other.  Obviously I shoot that down.  So like Ross and Rachel choosing the name of their baby on Friends, each of us will take turns to come up with some ridiculous suggestion and the other one will veto it.  This is going to end up great. 

But I don’t mind really, I’m sure we’ll have something done eventually, and it will be really horrible and regrettable, but that’s fine.  I want to have a stupid tattoo and I want to regret it and I want to be in some local bar in a suburban town when I’m 63, sipping a double scotch (having asked the barman to leave the bottle) wearing an ancient filthy leather waistcoat with my gut hanging out from the top of dirty, torn jeans with blood and ink stains on the thighs, grey long hair held in a thin ponytail, as two cocky provincial young bucks take a break from shooting pool, walk up to me and start taking the piss out of the tattoo on the top of my hip, and its faux-romantic “two hearts under a skyscraper” reference, trying to get a reaction out of me only so they can punch me, kicking an old alcoholic geezer while he’s down, really.  But I won’t react, I can’t react, I’m taking in all the taunts but not interested in retorting, my eyes glaze blankly over them, my eyes are dead but seeing more than theirs, my eyes dead possibly because they have. 

And on Tuesday I go to work and then to the gym. 

And after the gym I go home and watch Greece. 

And on Wednesday morning I’ve receive an email from Matty at work (once again: Matty has moved to Sydney now) and Matty says: 

“As you might imagine there isn’t much / any coverage of the Euro 2008 champs so I may have to rely on you to fill me in on the inside gossip. Maybe London Preppy you could return to your punditry ways for my benefit” 

And I says to Matty: 

“Yes, the Euro 2008.  I can only provide reviews for the Greece games I’m afraid.  There will only be three of them so we better enjoy them. 

Greece vs Sweden 

This was a boring game where nothing happened for the first 67 minutes.  Regardless, during that time I didn’t even move to go to the toilet in case I would miss something (mostly passes between the Greek defenders in the midfield, really).  Then Sweden scored.  Then I turned down the sound and went on the internet because I was upset.  Five minutes later Sweden scored again.  That’s when I turned it over to a Greek film from 1965, which at least I knew the end of and it wouldn’t disappoint me.  

And that’s it.  Greece vs Russia review on Monday” 

Finally, there’s a new poll on the right.  I wanted to check whether any straight guys, who I’m not friends with / know in real life actually read this.  So the possible answers are that you are: a) a straight guy who I don’t know, b) a straight guy who I know, c) everyone else.  I know 98% will fall under (c), but even if there are one or two straight guys that I don't know reading, erm, I’d like to know.  Thanks.

26 comments:

Alegoo92 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alex said...

I don't really know if this'll intrigue you, but my friend and I are getting matching tattoos with passages from the Raven on them:

mine:

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

her's:

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted — nevermore!

What's annoying is that the raven's stanzas have six lines, with each idea being composed of two lines (so you need three ideas to have complete ideas making up the stanza)- so we cut out the first two lines.


Anyway! This poem and others of the ilk are awesome and the stylized raven accompanying them are really cool.

NGM said...

OMG Ross and Rachel had a baby??

tell Matt to get into the State Of Origin - much better than some euro 2008.

Cockbag LLC said...

Luckily my only tattoo is well hidden under my shorts and almost no one can see it. For some ideas for a regrettable tattoo go to the "bad tattoos" link on my blog.

AlwaysReadySF said...

There's 13 straight guys you DON'T know already. So maybe Superman DOES read this blog after all ... ;-)

Oldyeller said...

I love it when you occasionally drift into a whimsical reverie (the future suburban bar scene). My favorite is when you were contemplating an upcoming holiday in the Alps some months ago:

"I don’t know about skiing, socializing and all that, but my plan for this holiday is to spend considerable time in the chalet on my own, looking out the window, pretending that I’m an anguished tuberculosis patient trapped in an exclusive sanatorium in Switzerland in 1917 with only my memories to keep me from losing my sanity. Like a tortured Sylvia Plath character, a resentful anti-hero with a grudge against the world, a former lover, a fallen soldier clutching my sole war medal in a bleeding fist.

And for this activity ideally I will be wearing basic cottony comfortable clothes in earthy tones, for example soft brown trousers held up with a primitive belt – perhaps just a rope tied around my waist – a very worn white cotton shirt with missing buttons and a warm lambs wool sweater with moth bites."

London Preppy said...

alex: That's cool, I'm glad you and your friend agreed on what you want to have done. I wish I could say the same

ngm: Yes, Sandrine

cockbag: Going there now EDIT: That's a really funny website actually, people should check it out

http://horribletattoos.blogspot.com/

always: I am so going to investigate who those straight guys are when we're done with the poll. Even though it might just be people lying

London Preppy said...

oldy: That is clearly one of my favourite things I've ever written, ha ha. Well identified!

kim said...

i agree with NGM ... Matty should be following the State of Origin on this side of the globe ... plenty of good reasons for you to as well:

http://hotaussiefootyplayersshirtless.blogspot.com/2008/06/darius-boyd_04.html

NGM said...

sounds like you hope to look like Hemmingway one day

dickophile said...

i just checked your poll. and i dont get it. how can there be 20 straight guys that you dont know reading this? doesn't reading this by definition make them gay? if they were your friends i would get it. but what "straight" guy goes and decides to read a gay guys blog one day? i find the whole thing very intriguing.

michael01 said...

"...my eyes dead possibly because they have." Have what? It's all so rhythmically wonderful--and then I'm lost. Could you/would you elucidate?

aurix said...

26 votes now--maybe they lied!

paul said...

The Virgins - Love is Colder than death, My new favorite song... the whole album is great...

London Preppy said...

dickophile: Well I agree that the number is quite high and people might have lied. But I don't think the blog is so gay that straight people can't read it. I don't write anything sexual that could put people off and I don't really put on pictures of naked guys (maybe very rarely shirtless guys). But I like to think that what I write can be interesting to anyone really, not just gay guys

michael: That paragraph deserves to be written better really, but sometimes I don't have time to re-write cause I post every day. To explain that last sentence:

"...my eyes are dead but seeing more than theirs, my eyes dead possibly because they have (seen more than theirs"

aurix: We'll see. I'll investigate

paul: Thanks I'll youtube this

dickophile said...

this is true. you know it could be fun for you to post pictures of naked guys and write stuff thats sexual. why? cause i want to know how to fuck like a preppy.

Alfred said...

have you decided you new tattoo?i want get one under my shorts.it is very sexy sometime go to swsim.

george said...

"That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine"

"Severed myself from my whole life
Cut out the only thing that was right
What If I never saw you again
I'd die right next to you in the end"

"All I hear is human noise
You made your own fuckin' choice
I belong to only me
Silence for my revelry"

........george

Graham said...

I introduced one of my straight friends (male) to LP and he reads every day :)

Impressed Guy said...

Hello apo Athina!

Telika exeis periergh sxesh me thn Ellada, wres wres nomizw oti thn exeis aparnithei ligo, apo thn allh se Eurovision kai Euro klp se vlepw oti thn yposthrizeis!

Grafeis san ton agaphmeno sou syggrafea sto blog kai mou aresei afto.

Filia re sy...

Jay said...

I'm sure lots of straight men stumbled onto your blog and then decided to actually vote, lol.

Tell Matty he can't go wrong with Aussie Rules, loads of hot muscled studs there!

You don't give Greece enough credit, look how far they got last time, wish i could watch as many games now as i did back then!

jay
mygayhell.blogspot.com

polislag said...

Greece vs. Russia. Sounds like a rematch of Kalomira vs. Dima Bilan.

Gerry said...

I'm not that surprised that there are straight people reading this - I read blogs written by straight men and women all the time, an I'm not straight (nor am I a woman, no matter what my straight mates might say). All I want is to read something that's well written and entertaining. Like the stuff you do so well.

semistraight said...

You haven't given an exact definition of "straight guy".

Then there's the problem of how straight a straight guy really is (or if it might change). I mean how many people do you know that are really comfortable with themselves? Would a predominantely straight guy with maybe the occasional feeling towards another guy ever act on this? Would he even actually classify as a straight guy?

Would the voters be so kind as to speak up about this ;)?

London Preppy said...

graham: Cool. Can he be my friend now?

impressed: Etsi einai! Mia sxesi agapis kai misous mazi :-) Na'sai kala, filia ki apo do!

jay: I'll tell Matty about the muscle guys, but he's straight so that might leave him a bit unimpressed...

polislag: Damn those Russians! They're always in Greece's bloody way, aren't there? Well, twice now

gerry: Aah...thank you!

semi: I'll leave that to the voters. I just think if I were straight i would know it

Graham said...

LP,
Well he's commented to me that since you actually watch football (some at least) that he has more in common with you than he has with me. It has made me question the shared experiences of the 24 years that we've known each other. That doesn't count for much these days it seems.