This is the third and final (for now) instalment in the series.
Plodding through life in a pointless manner
Some people say that you should make the most of life, because “life is short”, “you only live once”, etc. What I say to those people is that if they like life so much, they can have mine too.
Plodding through life in a pointless manner is an all-consuming endeavour which starts the moment you get up after a sleepless night and ends around the time when you go back to bed for another one.
Performing repetitive tasks day after day – as we all do – is a good start to breaking your spirit, but having a meaningless job that you’d be hard pushed at gunpoint to find what contribution it actually makes to the life of anyone else in the world is what can really push you over the edge. The edge of complete and utter indifference.
Meaningless jobs like these include anything in the business world, such as sales/marketing/advertising (where you spend your days trying sell stuff to people who can’t afford it), banking/finance (where you spend your days trying to find new ways to bleed people dry of any income they have without even offering anything in return), market research (where you spend your days trying to help big corporations make more money) and accounting (where you’re such a boring fuck I don’t even need to find a way to put you down).
Don’t get me wrong (or do – see if I care), life doesn’t start off that bad. I know that people around the ages of two, maybe three, are having a blast. Then, they develop the ability to think, it starts going downhill and they lose any natural happiness they might have been born with. However, be careful: occasionally, you will find people past those formative ages (anything from five to eighty+) who claim to be “happy”. Unfortunately, those people have been born with a complete lack of cognitive ability – stay clear of them.
Every now and then in your life, something good might threaten to happen. Whatever it is, it is 100% certain to end before it has even started. Continue as you were.
Eventually, you will learn not to be hurt by things like that. Being dead inside will certainly help, so try to kill your spirit as early as you can. Everything else will fall naturally into place.
Now then, let’s have a look at comments that people have left on that Australian magazine website that featured my pictures, as mentioned yesterday.
shaney33 says: “Does he not look like Mr Cruise around the eyes? Or perhaps even other facial features”
madmatty says: “Tiny bit around the eyes but only noticed it after you mentioned it. So much better looking than Cruise!”
suzukki says: “Your beauty is very normal. I like it your eyes”
winny19 says: “he has many performance in London. He look even better than the pictures if you see him real”
(I love this comment. I will be performing in London over the next few months, and then for a limited number of shows only in Sydney. Then back in London)
madmatty says (again): “The more I do look at him the more I think that if Tom Cruise and Christian Bale had a love child this guy would be him!”
(Then there are a few more positive comments which I’m not repeating because there’s no point, but then we get this one)
mcmeaty says: “sorry... i'm not getting this guy. Enough already! Show us some new fellas...”
So, finally. Someone with common sense writes in.
42 comments:
what do you preform? concerts? any way im glad i have killed my spirit and probably could contend with you in being bitter its true the earlier (age 10 for me) you realize that there is no meaning to school/life the "happier" you will be - not a short term glee followed by a long term depression just a faint sustained satisfaction of your cynical mind and some times lul of deep sadness allowing you to appreciate the small joy that does exist in this wasted experiment.
Totally. Except for the eyes which are surprising cause I was operating under the assumption that Greeks were dark with dark coloured eyes, which it seems is not the case. Contacts? Probably a result of all the raping and pilliging in the ancient world.
As for Tom Cruise and Christian Bale...not sure I see that. Anyway, do you really want to look like a midget? As for Bale, despite the hot body in American Psycho and Batman, he is rather angular looking.
Obviously the effort put into this post does indeed reflect the pointlessness of my life and the fact that I am so bored I might go play in traffic.
I'm with McMeaty here. Rossier didn't do you justice at all. If he had McMeaty would have been craving a bigger helping of LP.
And as for life, it truly does suck 90% of the time. When we find someone special to share that 10% with it can seem as though that little 10% is more like 99%. Until they leave and life feels like it sucks 99.9%
gorgeous eyes, LP :-)
Help bring meaning to your life by browsing photos of hot guys on the internet and attempting to deduce the identity of their parents. I say Angelina Jolie and Demis Roussos.
Performances.. of what?!
Perhaps the most entertaining installment of your How To series.
But if you are completely robbed of happiness (or robbed yourself of it), maybe you'd want to consider becoming a parent one day. Many gays write it off, but I hear it can make you really happy for a few weeks. The next 18 years will just be per the normal.
;)
Nice try. Not buying it for a second that you are dead inside. I saw the smiles in the pictures and the videos.
Oh wait, that wasn't you. That was that weird friend of yours who is so cheerful all the time.
Let me know when you are "performing" in Sydney. I have a trip planned to that part of the world. I might have to time it to coincide with it ;-)
When you talk about people who claim to be happy, you put this down to a "complete lack of cognitive ability". Surely that should read "complete lack of scruples", no?! Life would be so much easier as a morally devoid arsehole who aspires to nothing more than a leather sofa from DFS..
performances? As in go-go dancing? Strip shows? Juggling? Lion Taming? Glass Musician? You need to clarify what you perform? I expect it to include you scantily clad erotically posing inside a night club. You have surprised me before though.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5, 19-28
McMeaty's comment smacks of Tall Poppy Syndrome.
Meanwhile, LP have you seen David Beckham's latest photos for Armani? Any comment?
Since getting one (or ten) tattoos too many, I've felt he looks a bit skanky. But in these new photos he looks deliciously thuggy.
"All this buttoning and unbuttoning." -18th Century suicide note
I think the real question is, are you watching Big Brother 9 UK?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-5q70lVHzg
It is so true what you say, LP - everyone is stuck in this cycle of work-eat-sleep, work-eat-sleep, work-eat-gym-sleep, work-drink-drink some more-shag-sleep-be hungover cos it's the weekend, do it all again cos it is Saturday night, feel miserable about goign to work cos it's Sunday, work-eat-sleep, work-eat-sleep....
And repeat
- that they never take the time out to enjoy certain things in life. The time with friends, the time alone, etc, etc...
I hate the way in which people move to London to enjoy the work-life culture, as in the capital city there is so much to do, yet they hardly do anything. They go to the same places, with the same people and do the same things.
I probably visit three or four times a year (more so this last year) and have seen so much more of London than a lot of my friends who have lived there for four or five years...
OK, better stop there, or I might rant on all night!
And then don't get me going about when you resign from a job
'OMG, *why* are you leaving such a wonderful place?!'
'Yeah, the one that you moan about every single day, of your sad fucking life, but are too scared/lazy to get off your fat arse and find another one, or even be daring and just quit to live life a little.'
UGH!
*feels so much better!*
Btw, not been able to get online for over a week, and have really missed your blog...strange how easily I got sucked in to it....
I'm glad you brought your pictures back up. How remarkable that only a few people commented on them in the previous post, but understandable. Why on earth would we discuss your physique when there's literature to talk about?
How strange to finally be able to look you in the eye. You have this convict expression in your eyes. No further comments otherwise because watching these pictures was nothing less than unsettling. You can’t have both an interesting outlook on life and a great body. That’s a combination Americans are aiming for. Europeans like their hunks stupid and their intellectuals, erm, sexy in a different way.
LP, why make all the fuss about hiding your identity, then make it very easy to idetify you... It wasn't hard as an Aussie to identify the magazine and then the original mancandy site the pics were taken from. Just wondering.
I want to disagree with you but the comments you've quoted dictate that I can't. You might feel more optimistic tomorrow...or the next day...or the day after that.
maybe i should email this, but im going to post it here and see...
all the people that leave messages and comments saying youre amazing, super hot, agree with everything you say, think youre god, worship you etc etc... does that annoy you? are you flatterd?
maybe it annoys me more than you...
you can respond via email if you so wish...
Happiness ends when children go to school and have to start conforming to standards that have been set. If they don't conform or if they are different, they are chastised and are called names by their classmates.
Yes. Speaking from experience.
the pics on the site are very sexy. and i like the slight hint of a hint of pubes. though not much of a bulge. i guess you weren't lying about being a wee lass.
what i miss? What performance? where? In the Park? Tickets on sale yet? Lol
So do you see value in the hospitality/tourism industry?
Cheers...Alpha
It's not that life's too short, it's that we're dead for so long.
Love this post! It sums up my feelings exactly. Lets go to Iceland and start a monastery for disillusioned yuppies where they can spend their lives w/o any expectations that will ultimately let them down. Instead of the Christ, you can be dressed in a loin cloth, painfully engaged with a computer key board, an ipod and a cell phone.
dmom: I don't perform anything. That's the funny thing. I don't know what the comment was talkign about
connecticut: No contacts of course. Contrary to what people might think the only thing I do to improve my appearance is go ot the gym. I don't even put anythign in my hair most of the time. And I stil come across as a vain cunt. Oh well
rob: I like the stats, you're talking in my language!
aurix: Thank you!
james: And who's the lovechild of those?
anon: Exactly. I don't know either
alex: I would like that (at a different point where I can afford to have a child of course and also my life is more stable)
always: Dead inside, pretending to be dead inside, it's all the same...
teppy: Good point, I do think that if I completely gave up on aspirations for any material possessions I migth be happy - mainly because I could live my bleeding job. But where would I live?
anthony: Well, these are all good suggestions, maybe I SHOULD start performing somethign somewhere (glass eating edges ahead at this point)
thebard: Thanks for that. I've never ever read Shakespeare
nix: Whatever I've wanted to say I've said it in this post really
http://londonpreppy.blogspot.com/2007/12/saturday-221207.html
I do dislike his tattoos on his arms so much as well. Well the pictures look OK but more like paintings than actual photographs
michael: I haven't seen any episodes I'm afraid (just some of the opening night)
ben: Well there you go, must feel better after that (insert smiley)
gert: I love the convict looks comment, cheers!
luke: Well I don't really mind what's goign on in other websites but I won't to keep this (pointless) facade on the blog.
anon: I'll reply here cause there's no email to reply to plus I think it's a good question. What I feel about all these comments that you refer to is absolutely nothing. I can hinestly say that it doesn't make a difference to me at all whether some guy I've never met and never will, mentions that I am fantastic or whatever. Similrarly, it doesn't affect me at all when somebody comments that I am the most hideous person on earth. I can't let people's opinions affect me, whethet they're super-positive ot super-negative. I think that's the healthiest way to view this
dickophile: (Not) interesting fact: the photographer added the "pubes" / shadow afterwards. He told me he would, so it's OK. But yes, no bulge, I've actually cut it off
alpha: I don't know really. What job in particular?
don't let this happen to you
http://www.theage.com.au/national/nine-million-australians-are-a-ticking-fat-bomb-20080619-2tjv.html
Beauty and brains... What a combo.
Andy
If you want meaningful, next time you're on the tube standing behind some stranger, flick their ear as hard as you can, when they turn, stare directly at you and accuse you. Deny it. That's life!!
wow! seriously cheesy photos! hehehe... was the concept that you just got off your shift at the oil rig and decided to strip down to your skivvies? hehehe! what does that have to do with you?
what a shitty photographer. it could have been done so much better. i guess thats what you get when the photographer is shooting with his penis not his head. im actually a little surprised with these photos they seem so smarmy and beneath you.
its funny, i saw these photos awhile back when i first found your site, and probably had the same initial reaction as most, but after reading your blog for awhile now, and seeing them again, they seem pretty shitty. just sorta exploitive and i guess, just plain stupid.
sorry, for being so critical, but i guess that i would expect someone to shoot you better than that. after reading your blog you are way more than these cheesy photos would suggest.
I'm offended that you didn't mention us government bureaucrats--most of us have jobs that are every bit as meaningless and monotonous as those in the private sector; we just get paid less to be leaches on society.
And as long as you, Tom & Christian are taking your show on the road, please include a performance in Washington, DC., hmmmm?
Well, you obviously need to do something you find meaningful. Quit your job, find an Australian sugar-daddy, and write your book. Work for UNESCO. Join the Green Party. Volunteer for some Lady Bountiful-type programs. Work with kids. Take an acting class. Go into a writer's workshop.Read "The Power of Now". Go to a meditation group. Design mens' sportswear.(Or be a merchandiser for same.) Read Macbeth. Read Proust. Become a dancer or stripper...
This is fun. I like telling people what to do...especially when I know they will do none of it. Futility has its pleasures.
This post makes me thing of a song:
"Nowhere Fast" (I'm sure you've heard of it) *wink*
anon: Thanks, I'll be wary of that
dimitri: Well you've got to take into consideration the market they're aimed for. I agree that the whole look is hideous and I don't like them at all, but obviously they must be successful within a certain context if they're used commercially like that. Now why gay magazines feature such pictures and why they're appealing is a whole different question
meh
haha. that actually is kind of interesting. i honestly had no clue. now this is going to make me seriously ponder the validity of any future (and for that matter past) photos i've seen of really hot, hunky guys. i wonder if the beckham bulge really is a fake...
robert: Yes "vaguely familiar" with this song (wink back)
dick: Oh come on, of course!
You, of course, in the DNA shots.
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