Sunday, 22 June 2008

Sunday 22/06/08

“Oh surprise, you are fishing for compliments again but this time on a different 'Tom', do you feel better? Or are you still pretending to be secretly tortured by yourself?” 

“You don't disappoint, do you? Last week (or whenever it was) that you found out you were single I had sympathy for you - a sad time for anyone. But true to form, you resort to type and the pics appeared as I anticipated! Did you do them just for me? You are too kind to give me the bile-fix I needed” 

“Taking pics of yourselves in toilets in various states of undress, doesn't exactly scream "shy" or "modest". You have to admit that is pretty narcissistic. 

But then I knew this all along, which is what interests me about your blog. Your attempts at being complex and self-deprecating only cover up 'ego' to a certain point. Your pics and modeling history scream to the contrary which is why I love to hate you: pretending you are someone sensitive, or deep, or have 'tortured soul' mentality when you don't really. Or at least this "online persona" doesn't - or are you and LP two separate entities now? 

And that guy was right - people only read your blog because you look good. I would have lost interest weeks ago but it's only because you epitomise shallowness that I have to read every now and then: it resets my own moral compass” 

“LP wrote: I don't really have a problem with people's comments, I'm just trying to make them see the other side of the argument. 

Do you really mean that or are you just trying to get him to agree with you/massage your ego?” 

“I am sure there will be pics of you in some club soon with only your pants on so I can get by bile-fix then” 

“Feel a hint of sadness (through my otherwise raging repulsion) that you are moving to Australia. What will I do for my fix of rage when you're gone? I shall have withdrawals” 

“Oh dear... I've suddenly gone completely off your blog. Excessive vanity and eating cherry pie, somehow I think your life has seriously gone downhill. Don't you think it's time to do something to save yourself from being another gay clone and attempt to make your life vaguely worthwhile and interesting?” 

“Oh dear. So if you (LP) are slagging people off in what you believe to be semi-literary prose, it's ok? But when someone as nihilistic or sarcastic as you starts slagging you off, you have to comment on them? That is so gay. You're funny, you are. And yes, I've written one of the anonymous reactions, and I'll do it again.” 

“You and your sycophantic idolers are disgusting!” 

“You are a whole lot of crap. I mean if you are really so pissed up about the hole world why the fuck you expect me to believe that you have actual relationships with people to the level of letting them help you in "your hours of neeed". FUCK YOU. You don´t fucking know what is real pain. It is very likely that you wont post this comment but im not writting for this to be published im writing it because i think you ought to realize that you have to let go of the simple crap you write about and embrace life as it is that something Nietzsche says.

By hte way im from spain and my english is not perfect unlike yours for this reason.” 

I still think your nipples are way too big” 

“Your body looks way out of proportion” 

“I thought “arrogant idiot” and turned away from you” 

“Thought I would message you to say that OK some people really fancy themselves, I suppose there's nothing you can do about that. It's a bit odd though when they are beyond fancying themselves and have got to the point where they are clearly obsessed by their own looks.  There's nothing wrong with being happy with the way you look and showing it off a bit. But I really wanted to ask you whether you realise how other people see it? Do you realise how silly and in fact unattractive it makes you look. I assume that the root cause of yourself-obsession and narcissistic tendancies is very probably a manifestation of almost chronic insecurity. If you have insecurities I guess there's nothing much you can do about it - we all have insecurities about something and for all sorts of reasons. But for God sake have you any idea how ridiculous you make youself look? It's all very well having nice pics of yourself if you have a nice body, but presenting yourself as completely obsessed with your appearance and being so drowned in your own self-importance is something that most people will recognize very quickly. I'm sure you want to be liked and admired but what you are achieving is making yuorself look a real idiot.” 

“Short, muscly, small legged cunt” 

“Fuck off to New Zealand now please!” 

I'm going to keep reading. I like exploring the lives of people I feel morally superior to”


michael said...

A lot of those comments ring true.

Steven said...

Stop stealing ideas from my posts!


Thankfully, I have only eight daily readers, so no one knows how vain and vacuous I really am.

W said...

that will be the downer of writing a popular blog then

Anonymous said...

that was a stupid post, honestly you shouldnt have even of wasted your time posting those comments, you are who you are and you know who you are. They don't.

deikse mou said...

This was the smartest post you never wrote. Without commentary, you've let a sad group of individuals display their own insecurities, jealousy, anger and misplaced fears and let them hang themselves with it.

I, for one, believe you when you say you don't care what people think of you. It's a shame you have to wade through this shit, though.

Jay said...

Wow! I think your nipples are perfect ;)


Quigley Cox said...

Ooooo! Someone's over-tired!

michael01 said...

Is this a selection from your bag of valentines, or is it all from one sick soul?

Anonymous said...


I guess I missed something, but are they talking about the DNA pics? What's the big deal? Why all the bile?

--Joe in L.A.

Anonymous said...

Rather impressive collection, I must say. And somehow, I feel this is only the tip of the icebarg (or was it the Antarctic ice-shelf itself?).
I get your point about not caring (or trying to... pretending not to? working hard on it so as not to?) for good or bad, I do understand (and believe) it makes sense, as I said - but I must ask:
Why do you do it?
Is there never at least one nice comment once in a while which makes you say 'this is worth it', or one bad one that awakens the fighter in you, roaring 'I'll prove that fucker wrong'? Hard shell soft core so to speak? I mean, behind all the 1s and the 0s, there is a human, sitting behind his screen somewhere in West London...
Or is it really, really only the 'writing outlet' which you are cultivating - but then why would you be encouraging commenting so much? I, ah, I don't know.
In any case, I feel this all makes for very interesting reading. Good and bad, real and fake, heinous and fawning. Some people have a novel inside them, some a sonnet, others a post-it note, and lastly, some apparently are made up mostly of tons of letters of complaint.
Am I sycophant (God that word is so lame) now? Do I care?
Oh God, it's so sunny outside.

London Preppy said...

Short explanation, as I'm not going to add anything else to this post:

These are comments sent over the last year and a half that I've been writing this blog.

A lot of them have been sent by the same person, although not all.

Anonymous said...

I guess this means you have a fan, then.

Tim in Italy said...

Oh, wow! I'm a sycophantic idoler! Wait... is that bad?

AlwaysReadySF said...

Great post. It says a lot more about who wrote the comments than about you but, of course, that's always the case about anger and negativity.
I liked the "no comment" aspect of it too.

....and I, too, have absolutely NO idea with what would be wrong with your nipples ;)

David said...

doesn't he know how stupid he looks? writing lengthy comments about Nietzsche when really all he needs to do is not to take this blog 100% seriously.

he's probably fat
really, i see no reason otherwise for him to be so bitter.

Gerry said...

I think they're all angry Harry Potter fans.

Anonymous said...

I love the “Short, muscly, small legged cunt” bit. I wish I had written that. We should find out who did write this and award them something. A Nobel Prize for literature I should think. And you should put this phrase up as a subtitle for your blog. If an advertising agency made this up, it would cost you a squillion Pounds, you did get this one for free. I envy you.

Anonymous said...


in other news, i have found the best club night ever...

Brian said...

On the one hand - offended that people write shit like that and think it's okay to do because it's somewhat "anonymized" by the 'net.

On the other hand - amused that these people who absolutely despise you so much take time to *continue* to read your blog and resubmit comments.

I'm still enjoying the blog, keep on writing!

Arkhimago said...

Dear LP:

I have written this before "anonymously" and I will repeat it again:

"Life is a tragedy for those who Feel.......and a comedy for those who Think!"

You certainly seem to have a lot of "Feelers" reading your arcane missives, but on behalf of all of us "Thinkers"....Please continue!

Here is another maxim for you:

"If, at first, you DO succeed...
then try to hide your Astonishment!"

James said...

Mmm, whoever has written these diatribes to you really has far too much time on their hands, and probably got abused at catholic school some time in their lives. I think you are great and will miss you when you go.

franck said...

I can't believe how dumb, stupid and short-sighted some people are.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you normally don't post the comments like that, they made me really feel down.

You, on the other hand, make me smile almost daily.

So thanks, for making the drugery of like a little more enjoyable.

dimitri said...

sent by your friend 'mean'?


Maluminas said...

I was waiting for this post, I'm glad you did it.

Some people are sad. I truthfully have a deep disdain for myself, but I'm working on fixing that, i don't resort to hateful comments and verbally trying to bring down people I'm jealous of to try to make myself feel better. That's just sad. I prefer the productive approach, I'm trying to make myself better according to my own values and desires.

End of pointless comment.

Anonymous said...

Opinions are like assholes everyone has one. I wouldn't give them the time of day. If people don't like YOUR posts on YOUR blog then why continue to read it?

Anonymous said...

To me reading your blog is a 3 part process.

1. Reading what you have written for that day. Sometimes I laugh, other times it may make me evaluate how I feel about the topic you have written about. But I always find it entertaining,

2. I like to read the comments left by your readers. It is interesting to see how they have perceived what you have written and what their thoughts are. Sometimes their thoughts are close to being as entertaining as yours.

3. I like reading your replies to the comments. At times you may explain the topic or your thoughts more fully, or you may correct a wrong perception. Other times you drop the LP mask just a little and let the readers "see" there is a person that is quite different than "LP" sitting at the keyboard. But all in all what you write is not the gospel; it is just there for entertainment. For us, as well as you, I would think.

It is too bad that the people that leave such angry, hateful comments just don't understand that.

So keep up the good work. And I'm sorry you have to put up with such BS while finding an outlet for your creativity and keeping us readers entertained.

K said...

hey LP, I have been following your website and I would love having a chat with you. hope you will reply.

Nix said...

People can be so cruel.

How many of these comments are anonymous or semi-anonymous (ie no real photo, no profile, no blog of their own)?

Too many, I bet.

gill said...

Wow. Some people ?!?! Talk about vitrol.

Personally I'm exceedingly happy to be an idolator.

I worship first and foremost at the house of 'self interest and self involvement'

(and Repeat)

As for your blog LP. As a faithful Idolator and a tenth level Thetan of LP's 'House of Prep - London' your blog is also on my list so don't be worrying your muscled body, funny nipples, or your short legged 'cunt' about it..... Isn't that something akin to a snail leaving slime in its tracks... oh well.. I like Cunts as well as dicks (yes I'm greedy) I however don't appreciate the rantings of the criminally deranged, psychotically challenged nor the mother fixated weirdos prowling the net. But unlike you I'm not on display nor readily contactable online.

You're doing a great job entertaining LP. Keep it up and smack the ill-educated, over-opinionated idiotic, inbred numpties to the ground. Where upon you can stamp on them in your stylish yet affordable white Plimsolls.

And don't forget should you need you of course have us your legions of loyal sycophantic, narcissistic, toilet-tissue munching idolators who are readily available to declare a fattwa on the unbelievers......

Well that's playtime over. I think I've just lived up to their little fantasies.

Hope all is well.


candy said...

I really want to see you in a ed hardy t-shirt

arkhimago said...

An Addendum:

The venerable Howard Stern, an American broadcaster, whom, like yourself, is a Capricorn, and is also a chronicler of the human condition purports:

"I can't deal with people who "Don't Get It?".....and those who DO "Get it", will know exactly what I'm talking about!!"

(Please pardon my grammatical faux pas of inserting quotation marks within a quotation?? I must have skipped off prep school English class the day that was covered?!?)

Curious said...

I bet a lot of those posts were typed using just one hand.

Graham said...

you have some dedicated readers, even among the one's that seem to really hate/envy you. Those nasty comments are hilarious

NGM said...

Hey, Short, muscly, small legged cunt (SMSLC), loved that post, best in a while, very funny stuff.

James said...

It's nice to see the art of letter-writing is not dead. Was Oscar Wilde right: is being talked about better than not being talked about?

Foxx said...

LP....there really are some strange people around! I guess they have issues. Anyway I like your blog....and your they can think what they like...... ;)

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

Good grief! Now this post is like I missed '24' for a decade!

I have absolutely no idea what it is about, but it is angry. I am sorry for that and hope you push through the pain etc.

I am not good on emotional posts. I like to skim blogs not read them (the latter being a sneeky-slip-slidey way to some sad, remote-identification bollox - so we don't do that!).

And, hey, I am home in Moscow - which is cool, if only for three nights.

PS: Travel more! If you keep moving - as I have done for years -you never have those sad, wanky 'who am I?' bollox moments. (I mean, OF COURSE, move to Australia blah blah)

Trust me, I am almost 40 and a different country every week keeps me Mr Smiley-Happy-guy. And the airmiles...

Luke said...

I thought you liked the crazies for putting things in perspective.

Perhaps a slightly less nutty flavour of crazy is preferable. Keeping things anonymous seems like the way forward.

RobSaint said...

yeah I totally agree with who they said. So much so I'm compelled to read your blog on an "almost" daily basis because I hate you as much as they do. OMG!
If they don't like what you write why the hell are they reading it?! Surely they don't take you that seriously?

Keep up the good work LP!

...oh and piss off to NZ, Oz or whereever you're going now!

Anonymous said...

Well you should ask your dad to refrain from posting!! But seriously, when I saw the comments I thought you meant they all came on one day. Some people are very jealous.

Ade x

Timmy said...

Whoever left those comments:
has anger issues to deal with;

or The loves the Da Vinci Code;

or has too much time on their hands and loves the Da Vinci Code;

or takes LP way too seriously;

or a combination of all of the above.

kim said...

seriously, there needs to be a disclaimer along the lines of "read Bret Easton Ellis THEN read this blog..." or something to that effect, and I'll put it out there (and offend plenty) but even some of your nicer readers just don't get it either ... of course, I have no clue myself.

Ja said...

Nice! short, muscly, small legged cunt made the hate cut. I'd discount it though, the guy who described you in that way was missing a front tooth.

Mike said...

Holy Shit!!

jm said...

I have an ex who used to say those things to me whenever he would get drunk and upset. LP, I don't know whether or not those words actually upset you or not, but I can't imagine those types of attacks didn't hurt at all. I sure remember how they used to make me feel.

george said...

you are entertaining!!!.....keep scotts dagger by your side. too many idiots out

Anonymous said...

what an amazing post, it was a very good idea of yours to give us a collage of your haters!!

Because I enjoy how ironic those rants are, from people who obviously hate so much, and judge so easily....

And also it was funny as hell, the haters really don't understand how hilarious they are, especially when their BS can be read together like that.

And ROFL to the guy who suggested they were all angry Harry Potter fans :-D

-- Pete

Dan said...

There are crazy, lonely people on the internet?


Anonymous said...

ahahha.......u never fail to make me laugh! Awww...your small legs are cute! Funny post.

Rico said...


It amazes me how some people take your existence as an assault on their livelihood.

That said, I'll admit that I do like the pictures!

timbo said...

So I thought the bitchy comments would be funny a while back, but I was wrong. They're not clever or even crazy in a hilarious/shocking way. These people are really quite sad and dull.