On Friday after work I go to the gym, where I give my card to the Eastern European woman at reception, pick up a towel, go downstairs in the changing room, take my clothes off apart from my underwear, wrap the towel around my waist, take my underwear off, change into my swimming shorts, walk to the pool, swim 30 lengths (10 lengths front crawl with tumble turns, 10 length breast stroke, 10 lengths underwater without using my arms), have a shower, get dressed, go home.
On Friday night at 2230 I meet up with Mean at Old Street and we go to this bar, where Annie is playing a secret free gig. Annie is a singer from Norway, and her music is not extremely dissimilar to Robyn’s. On the way there I’m a bit worried that we won’t get in, because Annie was playing another free gig the night before and I’d heard that after a while people were turned away because it got quite busy.
But we go and we get in. The venue is very small, i.e. if you wanted to throw your underwear at Annie on stage – as I’m told people do at gigs – you could just hand it to her really and you wouldn’t have to stretch your arm full length either.
The crowd considers itself to be achingly hip and because we’re in London not to mention East London not to mention a tiny bar not to mention a secret gig that people found out about through word-of-mouth, nobody dances, nobody reacts to anything.
Regardless, Annie is doing her best and at some point she tells us: come on London, show me what you’ve got and Mean tells me: I’ll show you what London’s got – a fucking attitude. I like this and I make a note of it on my phone to write it here.
Then we leave and then I talk to Scott about the gig and he says what was it like and I say, it was good but the people were too East London, in fact some of them were very embarrassing and following every rule in the book. And Scott says, which book is that then, and I says i-D magazine. I like this and I make a note of it on my phone to write it here.
Anyway, this is why I may be going to Sydney for six months or so, but I will certainly be coming back to London to live after that. Because things like that happen in London: you hear about a secret gig in a tiny pub in London on Thursday and on Friday you're there and you're watching it. And no offence, but I don't know if Annie would be playing a tiny free secret gig in Sydney or Athens or wherever else. And I may often just like sitting in my living watching TV alone, but occasionally I like to go out and when I do, I want to have innumerable options of where to go.
On Saturday morning, I decide that I don’t want to wear suit trousers and dress shoes at work anymore and I want to wear smart jeans, loafers or deck shoes and soft cotton shirts from now on. During the summer at least. So I go and buy two pairs of jeans and three shirts from the Gap and then