On this Saturday night I’m wearing the same clothes as Friday night, i.e. same jeans, trainers, Suede t-shirt (but I’ve actually washed the t-shirt), an outfit I posted a picture of yesterday. This reminds me that I should mention that I’ve actually made alterations to the Suede t-shirt before wearing it and these alterations are:
a) I’ve cut the neck wider, but not in a plunging neckline gay way (which can be OK too for the right clothes), just wider overall in a straight-muscly-guy-gym-top kind of way, which is inspired by Superman’s original Superman t-shirt
b) I’ve cut the bands around the end of the sleeves
c) I’ve cut the band at the bottom
d) After realising that it fits well everywhere else but it’s too wide around my waist, I’ve pinned it tighter by folding it on the left side and using a thick 10cm safety pin, which I bought two years ago and I’ve been looking for some garment to use it on since. I figured that this being a rock band t-shirt, I could get away with a safety pin as an accessory
Then I go to Camden where I meet Enid and we go to this club night called Guilty Pleasures at Koko. This is a straight night of course and it’s a night where the music is erm…guilty pleasures, as in songs that you’re not supposed to like but you do. So this is a review of the night.
The place: This is a big venue that I like a lot and I was in last when I saw Fischerspooner playing at some point last year. Here’s a picture of the main dancefloor from one of the upper floors. See? Like a gay club only with clothes on.
The people: There are straight girls and there are straight boys. A lot/most of the straight girls are dressed up and well-taken care of and some of them are even pretty. Almost all the straight boys are messy and don’t know what to do with themselves to look good (and I suspect they don’t care).
Now this seems instantly unfair to me (why do the girls have to make an effort to be pretty and the boys just turn up as they are and hope for the best), but I suppose these people have worked these issues out and have managed to mate and procreate for thousands of years now, so who am I to stop them?
Despite an obvious lack of gym going amongst the punters I still find the atmosphere sexually charged, but that’s because I’m a freak with a straight boy fetish. And a lot of them will have good legs anyway from “playing sport” and “running around” and doing things that created the expression boys will be boys (I love that expression), you just have to get their trousers off and bend them over.
Our night: So to start off with we sit there and listen to the music in the main room (sample tracks: Madonna “Dress You Up”, Shannon “Let The Music Play”, George Michael “Faith”, Vanilla Ice “Ice Ice Baby”) and we chat, but then we discover this smaller room upstairs, which is called the Erection Section and they’re only playing tacky love songs, power ballads, that sort of thing. I.e. All the songs I’ve written about in my “embarrassing songs that I like” posts.
Obviously, we’re there next and that’s where we spend the rest of the night.
In the Erection Section, the following things happen:
- As we enter, “Glory Of Love” from the film Karate Kid is playing
- There are song request forms and we put down:
o Live To Tell – Madonna
o Wicked Game – Chris Isaak
o She’s Like The Wind – Patrick Swayze
o Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper
o Crazy For You – Madonna
- Ten minutes later She’s Like The Wind comes on
- We down two shots of vodka
- This room is mainly packed with boys, most of these boys know all the words to everything, I conclude that for a good heartbreak boys of any orientation always fall back to a bit of Patrick Swayze instead of Radiohead or The Killers or whatever it is they pretend to listen to in real life
- We request Live To Tell again but the DJ has already played it
We go home.
On the night bus I listen to Live To Tell on repeat until I get home.
I decide that I want to go to more straight nights please.
OK, so that Saturday night but I’ve written too much and I haven’t mentioned what we discussed with Enid (about what sort of boys I should be dating from now on and how to find them), so I’ll write about this in the next post.