Friday, 13 June 2008

Friday 13/06/08

Then Mummy calls me at work and she asks me not to go to Australia, because it could be dangerous and I might die or something (some famous gay actor was murdered in Athens last week, so it’s going to happen to all of us now) and why am I going there leaving my life behind now that I’m settled in London and I have a job and a relationship and friends.  And I say, because I’m bored Mummy.  And then she asks me to do her a favour and spy on my sister and find out if she’s sleeping with anyone, but not tell her that Mummy put me to it, and then the conversation comes to a natural end.  How do you follow that one up, really? 

Then I call my sister and we chat about upcoming gigs (Roisin Murphy and Madonna for her in Athens; Morrissey, Brett Anderson and Ash for me in London), summer holidays (no major plans on either side) and certainly not who she’s sleeping with.  But I still don’t tell her that Mummy asked, because I don’t like to betray people’s trust, even if they’re borderline crazy. 

Moving on to blog related matters, what do we think about the poll on the right?  With 5 days to vote and 288 votes cast so far, the survey tells us that 59 straight guys, who I don’t know in real life, read this blog. 

I’m not one to doubt people of course (…) but it seems pretty easy to just give an inaccurate response to an online poll. 

It’s not long ago when a blog I – extremely – occasionally glance at (for obvious reasons I won’t get into), had a similar poll asking its readers about their gender and sexuality.  Well I went and voted that I’m a homosexual female (also known as a lesbonym).  Then I happened to log on from a different computer (which allowed me to vote again) and I voted as a lesbonym again.  That’s two lesbonym votes from me. 

I don’t know why, I just thought it would be “fun” to confuse the results. 

Then when the poll finished, the blog writer posted comments on the results, where he was pleasantly surprised that even a small number of gay females read his blog (I think maybe there were a total of 6-7 votes from other liars like me). 

Now of course I could never imagine that London Preppy readers would do the same thing, so I believe everyone and I’d be extremely interested to interact with these 59 straight guys (and counting).  In other words, can I be your friend?  Particularly if you live in London or Sydney. 

Not because I don’t want to be friends with gay people, but a) because over the last 2-3 years I have made dozens of new gay friends, but no new straight friends really.  And I wonder whether if I hadn’t come out so late (at 25) I would have any straight friends at all now (all my straight friends I’ve known before I came out). 

So if you're straight and you want to be my new straight friend...

I promise to: 

- Not hit on you, even if you’re hot

- Let you know if your t-shirt is completely the wrong fit

- Go out with you and go up to girls and chat to them for you

- Etc 

You should promise to: 

- Go to boring concerts like James / The Charlatans / etc with me

- Watch sport with me, well not all sport, just international tournaments like Euro 2008 or something

- Explain why you spray deodorant over your clothes


Email me at or comment, innit.

As I keep saying to people I’m not as weird as I come across on here.  I just write like that (if I keep saying this enough, maybe someone will believe it). 

That’s all.

PS. I will also require gay friends when I move to Sydney but we'll get on that another time.


Will said...

Hey LP, How are you?

I'm straight and 27.

Don't live in London though,


Cockbag LLC said...

Tell your mom you are moving to Australia because they have hot accents, use funny words, and the weather is fantastic.

My tour in Europe this spring had a bunch of Aussies and I loved every one of them.

Alex said...

By the context of your post I took it that you had come out to your mother. Is that true?

London Preppy said...

will: Ah, cool. Very good. Where do you live?

cockbag: Well that's that then. Mummy convinced!

alex: I did come out to my Mum yes - when I was in hospital a couple of years ago now

d'anger said...

Why am I suddenly jealous of the 59 supposed straight guys who have received special invite to email you, London Preppy? I guess I should have known that answering honestly in the generic "all other demographics" category was a dead end. That said, your instinct to have some friends other than gay guys is a good one. It’s good to have friends that are not so much like yourself. And about Mummy and the dreaded move to Australia, your plan to make living in the UK seem acceptable is working.

Alegoo92 said...

I figured that's when it would have been.. I was thrown off by a post when you said that Greek parents love their children unconditionally, "unless they're gay."

Alex said...

I figured that's when it would have been.. I was thrown off by a post when you said that Greek parents love their children unconditionally, "unless they're gay."

Edward said...

I love you more and more the more I read.

London Preppy said...

will: Cool thanks for the reply. No reason really, just curious

d'anger: You're so right - it can definitely work like that, I hadn't thought of it. London must seem ideal for them now!

edward: Ah, cheers mate!

Dave said...

LP - if only Canada was on the list! I'm straight and 23.

AlwaysReadySF said...

I laugh every time you end with "That's all".

It's such a Miranda Priestly-ism and you (actually, your LP persona I should say) have just enough attitude to pull it off....

j said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
badabing said...

Continuing the close textual analysis of this post by Alex in the third comment, I also noticed - "and a relationship".

dickophile said...

when is the move to australia anyway? im looking forward to it. im curious to see how it'll effect the blog. any plans to get a hot aussie boy toy?

Straight Guy said...

I don't think there are that many people lying on your poll, LP. I'm a straight guy, but I find the blog very entertaining. You are an excellent writer and I think you capture the modern urban life (straight or gay) very well on many different levels. And your willpower to go to the gym makes me very jealous.

queer asian said...

Well, you have 9 straight friends already according to your poll, thats not too bad?

timbo said...

Your mum's concern about you is beautiful and sweet. Despite this, you should tell her that you were going to return to Greece, but after the murder of the actor you would be terrified for your life.

People will hate me for saying this, but you will be better off with more straight friends. My best friends are all straight. They tend to be less crazy and cause less drama.

Anonymous said...

Hey LP,

I'm 19 and Gay from Sydney.

Come down under!

We need more hotties like you ;)

Owen said...

I am one of those 59. A friend of mine told me about this blog and I am hooked. You are a bit crazy (mostly only in theory but not in practice, methinks) like me and I like it.

Btw, I spray deo on my clothes and I am surprised that people are surprised. I do it to deodorize stuff. I use the regular (?) deodorants rather than the antiperspirant ones since the latter leave stains. (Yes, I know by experience :D)

Laterz, or should I say, that's all (with raised eyebrows).

Luke said...

Ah cool now I realise you did come out to your mum that makes a bit more sense.

They always know anyway, that is unless Greek parents are even more susceptible to denial than the English / South African.

Being visited constantly by muscular men and having your facial hair bleached must have been something of a clue.

george said...

you're cute and have muscles! the gay guys will be drawn to you like flies to poo (sorry was the only analogy i could think of. it's late and i'm tired). just watch out for the users. sydney is so superficial and

Jay said...

I'm not straight and do not live in SYD or LON, but i must warn you, do NOT go to Australia. You will never leave! :)


London Preppy said...

dave: Well, I'll keep this in mind for future plans to move to Canada!

badabing: Well Mummy is always completely up to date with what goes on, it's best that way, right?

dickophile: End October. Toy boy? Nah, I've never been out with anyone younger than me

Dmom said...

hey LP you never mentioned bi! so i guess i could be half your friend.

deikse mou said...

Where has the King of Barbecue been this season?

Matthew said...

I am one of your straight readers, who visits the site mainly because I have bad chemicals and sometimes, just sometimes, I crack a smile when I read something you write. Its not that you are funny, its just that every once in a while you phrase something a certain way that appeals to my idiosyncratic sense of humor. So really I wade through the inanities for the occasional shred of good writing and humor.

I would email and start a conversation with you about deodorant or sports but then you'd have my email and name and could blackmail and I wouldn't want that, would I?

Timmy said...

I'm totally perplexed about spraying deoderant on your clothes. LOL Seriously. I've never heard of such a thing. Guess that outs me to everybody.

London Preppy said...

deikse mou: It's funny you should say that - I'm having one today. Football and barbecue. Aaah!

skountouflis said...

polu kalo post! eixe polu plaka! autes oi ellhnides manes pio provlepsimes de tha mporousan na einai! :)

Woodsman said...

love you to pieces im sure Timmy, but im pretty sure the picture of you hugging the small fluffy dog outed you some time ago...

Anonymous said...

i have a surplus of straight mates and a serious dearth when it comes to my gays.

once you've been down here for a month or two and made some new friends, we should meet up and do a trade.


London Preppy said...

benjamin: It's a deal

Dan said...

Morning LP,
I'm a straight reader.
Can't remember how I found your blog and not entirely sure why I keep coming back, there must be something I enjoy, or I must be in an incredibly boring job.

I'd definitely go to Charlatans and James. Infact I think we've got a similarish taste in music. Artists ive picked up on anyway - Morrisey, Bjork, Jimmy Eat World etc. and even as a straight lad I went to see Robyn with the gf the other week!

I'm well into playing sports, but only really ever watch the big tournaments, so again, sorted.

As for the deoderant, im more inclined to rub a bit of aftershave over important areas, rather than spray with deo!

London Preppy said...

dan: Excellent. If you also live in London, don't be surprised when I include a message in a future post asking you to go see some band or something, instead of me going on my own

Anonymous said...

Is your new straight friend allowed to be gay?

I not only like football and can talk about it sensibly and passionately, I play the game to a decent standard. I also play golf, which is pretty boring so I won't say any more about that.

I have a boyfriend who I live with, but don't socialise with or even know any other gay men or women at anything approaching a 'friendship' level. All my friends are straight - made either through work or sport.

I don't drink alcohol. I have never been to a club, or a gym. Poker-facedness and heavy irony are specialities of mine. Needless to say, few people understand me, largely I guess because they figure it ain't worth the effort. But I think it is.

I think we are destined to be friends (this is not irony, although I don't believe in destiny). I am around 100 miles west of you at the moment, but this shouldn't preclude an e-mail friendship, if you have the time. At the very least I think we might be able to amuse one another. You remind me of someone of whom I was once very fond, and still am from a distance.

Let me know if this in any way appeals.