Then Mummy calls me at work and she asks me not to go to Australia, because it could be dangerous and I might die or something (some famous gay actor was murdered in Athens last week, so it’s going to happen to all of us now) and why am I going there leaving my life behind now that I’m settled in London and I have a job and a relationship and friends. And I say, because I’m bored Mummy. And then she asks me to do her a favour and spy on my sister and find out if she’s sleeping with anyone, but not tell her that Mummy put me to it, and then the conversation comes to a natural end. How do you follow that one up, really?
Then I call my sister and we chat about upcoming gigs (Roisin Murphy and Madonna for her in Athens; Morrissey, Brett Anderson and Ash for me in London), summer holidays (no major plans on either side) and certainly not who she’s sleeping with. But I still don’t tell her that Mummy asked, because I don’t like to betray people’s trust, even if they’re borderline crazy.
Moving on to blog related matters, what do we think about the poll on the right? With 5 days to vote and 288 votes cast so far, the survey tells us that 59 straight guys, who I don’t know in real life, read this blog.
I’m not one to doubt people of course (…) but it seems pretty easy to just give an inaccurate response to an online poll.
It’s not long ago when a blog I – extremely – occasionally glance at (for obvious reasons I won’t get into), had a similar poll asking its readers about their gender and sexuality. Well I went and voted that I’m a homosexual female (also known as a lesbonym). Then I happened to log on from a different computer (which allowed me to vote again) and I voted as a lesbonym again. That’s two lesbonym votes from me.
I don’t know why, I just thought it would be “fun” to confuse the results.
Then when the poll finished, the blog writer posted comments on the results, where he was pleasantly surprised that even a small number of gay females read his blog (I think maybe there were a total of 6-7 votes from other liars like me).
Now of course I could never imagine that London Preppy readers would do the same thing, so I believe everyone and I’d be extremely interested to interact with these 59 straight guys (and counting). In other words, can I be your friend? Particularly if you live in London or Sydney.
Not because I don’t want to be friends with gay people, but a) because over the last 2-3 years I have made dozens of new gay friends, but no new straight friends really. And I wonder whether if I hadn’t come out so late (at 25) I would have any straight friends at all now (all my straight friends I’ve known before I came out).
So if you're straight and you want to be my new straight friend...
I promise to:
- Not hit on you, even if you’re hot
- Let you know if your t-shirt is completely the wrong fit
- Go out with you and go up to girls and chat to them for you
You should promise to:
- Go to boring concerts like James / The Charlatans / etc with me
- Watch sport with me, well not all sport, just international tournaments like Euro 2008 or something
- Explain why you spray deodorant over your clothes
Email me at London.email@example.com or comment, innit.
As I keep saying to people I’m not as weird as I come across on here. I just write like that (if I keep saying this enough, maybe someone will believe it).
PS. I will also require gay friends when I move to Sydney but we'll get on that another time.