Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Wednesday 14/05/08

On Tuesday it’s still bleeding warm and sunny, but on Wednesday when I’m writing this it’s not, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain too much. At lunchtime I go to Boots and buy 60 Vitamin C tables, 60 Calcium with Vitamins D & K tablets, 90 Vitamin E tablets, two boxes of paracetamol (they won’t let me have any more), one chicken wrap with sweet chilli sauce.

After lunch I return to the office where I line up my vitamins in the top left corner of my desk, take some pictures of my desk so I can write about it in a post later this week, work, go to the gym.

At the gym, both the main characters in my life at the moment are in attendance. And these characters are Pale Personal Trainer and Him. I’ll talk about Pale Personal Trainer very quickly first to get it over with: Yes, PPT might be beautiful and have big legs and a rugby background and that face, oh my God that face, but I’m getting bored of him. He’s just not interesting enough – he’s a handsome straight boy who works at the gym and erm..that’s all I know / can assess from him. I’m bored.

Him though, oh my God, Him. I have seen Him three times now over the last week and before I tell you about this Tuesday (3rd time), let me tell you about last Wednesday (1st time) and Thursday (2nd time).


But nothing can prepare me for what happens on Tuesday.



And he hasn’t done it in a stupid meathead kind of way to show off his muscles (he could be wearing a string vest if he wanted to do that) he has done it in a fashionable, East London, offbeat kind of way.

I love him
I love him
I love him
I love him

He is straight and muscly and masculine, but he’s also a flashboy and he’s stylish and East London. This combination is unbeatable.

Which brings me to think: why aren’t there more people who combine the two? Why is it that in the gay world (as far as I can see anyway), these two scenes are mutually exclusive?

On the one hand you get the gym obsessive muscle marys who go to the trashy house clubs and aspire towards a faux-masculine jock look and listen to Kylie Minogue and Madonna and do NOT talk to anyone who’s thin.

On the other hand you have the alternative skinny gay guys who go drinking in East London and like fashion too much and listen to LCD Soundsystem and CSS and hate anyone who looks like they go to the gym.

Can I please have somebody who has elements of both? Can I have somebody who likes the gym and muscles etc, but also owns the first five albums by The Charlatans and can have a conversation about Sonic Youth? Somebody who would much rather wear All Stars than an A&F vest but also is not averse to the odd steroid course?

Possibly not. And even if there is somebody like that I won’t find them in the places where I’ve been going over the last two or three years.

So instead, this Tuesday evening I go home where I:


b) Fail to look as good
c) Decide I need a new tattoo down the side of my body


kim said...

how dare you decide what looks good and what doesn't? Post them pics so we can decide for you - that's how things work around here, had you forgotten?

Should Know Better said...

Hey LP,

I'm sorry but the only explanation for Superman is that he is gay and likes nothing better than bit of cock. Are you absolutely sure he's straight?

BTW - I own all The Charlatans albums, and they were the first concert I ever went to back in 1992. They were supported by Ride (remeber them?). As for Sonic Youth - Goo is one of my favourite albums of all time but is pipped to the post by Hatful of Hollow for the Peel Session version of Hand in Glove.

See, you can have these conversations....

AlwaysReadySF said...

I think I speak for everybody when I say that you should try to sneak a picture of both PPT and Superman (together possibly but on their own would be ok too) and post it on here.
With the red thingy on their eyes, of course :-)

Anonymous said...

instead of going to vauxhall you should go to the joiners arms.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's the shirts. Keep ripping until you find one that looks good.

Tim in Italy said...

You understand what's happening to you, of course? You're getting older... God, I hope that remark doesn't bring out the knives... and wiser. You're becoming a man of taste and style, rather than a boy of budding substance. You're still curious, but you're also beginning to understand what you like and aren't willing to settle for anything less.

So, here's a thought: why not just relax and let them come to you?

Nathan said...

There are lots of people like this, I know many of them - many who I suspect, nay am SURE, are people you see out when you go clubbing / know to say hello to.

You're simply choosing not to see them. Admittedly when you go clubbing in the places you (we) go you tend not to notice people's clothes as much as their bodies...

(I am of course in complete agreement that someone's body and clothes (including gym gear) are key to determining whether or not someone should be pursued. I almost had to refuse a second date because the guy turned up wearing a yellow A&F T. But seeing as I'd had a crush on him for ages I was willing to forgive it - just this once - because the colour was admittedly quite good on him and it showed off his torso and he was wearing nicely fitted Nudie jeans with leather Chuck Taylors and a cool distressed leather belt which worked with, but did not specifically 'match' the shoes. Plus the fact that he would even THINK of wearing A&F on a date shows that there is a high likelihood that he is not as shallow as me which is probably a good thing...)

Superchilled said...

Ah I'm totally engrossed in your writing. Good work. And now everyone is wondering if they fit the LP ideal, or how they might manage to.

Anonymous said...

the ripped-side-o-tee-shirt look is somewhat popular here (usa), too, among the right people, but without sleeves. you have to remove the sleeves, then cut along the seam down the side about 8-10 inches. i've seen a lot more of doctored tee shirts this spring for some reason. a lot of straight guys have started cutting a 2" V into the collar of their tees so that it opens sort of like a polo shirt.

Richard said...

Isn't the side the most painful place to get a tattoo? Pain is beauty!

michael01 said...

Do you hold out any hope that Superman is gay (which would imply the need for stategy and tactics on your part) or is he just being used as a kind of paradigm, for 'study purposes'? You're probably not sure yet. Metrosexuals have made life so confusing.

London Preppy said...

Will reply to all the above comments soon

Oldyeller said...

Two important questions: (1) how would you rate Superman's body? 9?[You saw him coming out of the shower the first time.] (2) Are we progressing on the personal front with him? He seemed pretty receptive to you the first time. Or is it still just "hey mate". Could you have commented to him about his unique workout shirt style without coming across as too interested?

Trybaby said...

Why do you need so much paracetamol. How many boxes were you going to buy? I guess you could always go to a different store. Or get someone else to pick some up for you.

Dane said...

Best. Post. Ever!

You should get some of these:

It'll save you time in photoshop.

London Preppy said...

kim: Fine, fine, thanks for reminding me the rules. I'll take pictures and post them later in the week

should: Well as I was writing this I knew I was generalising. And I could think of some exceptions already (and one of them was you!)

As for Superman, I'm not very good at these things, but yes I'd say I'm sure he's straight. Who knows, he might surprise me

always: But, but, that would ruin our friendship. Which is already ruined of course when he sees this blog

anon: Can somebody tell me what the Joiners Arms is?

anon: I agree. I bet Superman has 54 ripped t-shirts in his cupboard that all look shit. Until he found the perfect one. I'll keep cutting

London Preppy said...

tim: I kinda agree. I'm realising (3 years into my gay career), that I have to have more things in common with somebody if it's going to be long-term. Who would have thought that I'd want somebody with similar interest eh? I must be maturing

nathan: Yes, there probably are. But you're right I just have no way of knowing that. As for the A&F t-shirt story, very good! There are three levels as far as I can see: a) somebody who wears A&F on a date and thinks it's cool. This level sucks. b) somebody who would NOT wear A&F on a date cause it's tacky and obvious. That level is good. c) Somebody who would wear A&F and not think about it because it's so insignificant. That level is also good. Potential confusion between levels 1 and 3 for observers though

London Preppy said...

superchilled: Thank you. Well let's hope that Superman is reading

anon: I do have a couple of ripped down the side t-shirts (with no sleeves). I do like that too, but what elevates Superman above any other human is how he did it differently. He kept the sleeve and he only did one side. As I've said before, he is a God

richard: Possibly is. This makes me want to have one more obviously. Even though the inside of my arm and my calf/shin were kinda painful too

michael: I am pretty convinced he's straight but I can't rule anything out at this point

London Preppy said...

oldy: I'd say 8/10. As for the friendship - no progress at all. Wed don't even say hi anymore, just look at each other and do that smile of recognition occasionally. The problem is that he has a training partner with him all the time, which makes talking to him very difficult. What on earth would I tell him anyway!? I'm scared and shy

trybaby: I go through a lot. I didn't want to buy more though today, I was just saying

dane: I really like it when somebody considers any post the best post ever, thank you very much!

Alex said...


If you need conversation material: ask him what his arabic tattoo means. Then you can play the "is he straight game"

As in, you continue to ask him about himself, and act like you're interesting. Gay guys will usually oblige with conversation because a) they like talking about themselves, b) they're flattered, or c) because you've been so polite it'd be rude to shun..

Straight guys really couldn't care less. Especially at a gym- they've got work to do! If he's straight he'll sound a little more dismissive/blunt and/or condescending with each reply.

Graham said...

This is an absolute disaster. When he was just a hot muscley guy and willing to chat to you, things were all set for you two to become best friends forever. Now....well now we know more about him. He's not just a hot muscley guy anymore. He knows exactly what he is, which means he might know what you are too. Lets face it, guys know they have 'competition' in the gym, but not many straight guys know that they get more attention from men and gay men at that, than they ever do from women. If he really has gone to so much trouble to make himself look good in that 'i don't give a shit' way, with his 'oh, is it ripped? I hadn't noticed because I'm concentrating on my lifts' t-shirt, then we have to conclude a few things:
1) he knows who his target audience is
2) he can spot his target audience
3) he may be bisexual/sexually adventurous
4) every move, expression, word from this guy has some particular meaning
5) we need a picture to make further conclusions


London Preppy said...

alex: That's definitely a conversation starter, but it would imply that I've been looking at his body!

AlwaysReadySF said...

Well maybe it would ruin the friendship or maybe it would bring it a whole different level. Who knows. Maybe he likes the attention...

Scared? Shy?!!!

Are we still talking about LP? Or is that your goofie friend with the cute smile whose video you posted on here a while ago?

nick said...

As anonymous of 15:45 points out, this whole ripped t-shirt thing is an art and a science.

So (as we know Superman is a guru) why not ask him if he knows of these things and can rip one your t-shirts for you? Maybe with you still inside it?

Remember to post the pics for us though.

London Preppy said...

graham: Brilliant. I love the analysis and I think it's spot on. I really can't add anything to it. I might as well print this comment out and take it to Superman. See what he has to say for himself

always: Erm...I meant distant and dissinterested

nick: Ha ha! I would most certainly like that. Maybe we can take turns to ripping each other's shirts

Gary said...

Superman strikes me as a tad bit self-absorbed, one who may have difficulty fitting someone other that himself into his field of focus. You have admitted to having a tendency to self-absorption yourself. Anyway, I wonder is it possible for two such self-absorbed guys to have a relationship or friendship? Who is the worshipped and who does the worshipping? Have you ever considered looking for friendship in some place other than the gym world? It might be refreshing to get another perspective on living and who knows, you might find someone who worships you for being you, just as you deserve to be.

London Preppy said...

gary: Well to be honest I don't really know him, but he doesn't come across as self-absorbed. He comes across quite lovely. But maybe I'm just saying that because I love him (from the bottom of my broken heart)

As for meeting people outside the gym, well to be fair the gym is one of my main interests. Anyone I meet would have to be into that too. Also I don't really go many places! Where do people meet people?!

Patrick said...

I can't remember how I came across your blog here, perhaps vividblurry or something, but I thought I should say I love it. On one of your earlier posts/comment replies you mentioned how many negative/derogatory comments there were and I maybe this can be an antithesis to that. As a guy who's slightly younger and perhaps less neurotic than you, I'd say that not only is your body stunningly hot, and that you really ought not fixate about any perceived negatives points, but that your writing is fantastic. I have a blog that I've never become interested enough by to fully commit to and so it lingers on in a form of stasis between my intermittent and uninteresting posts: it's impressive that you keep up such regular posting. Anyway, I like the site, you sound completely nuts (though in an endearing kind of way) and I hope it continues.
On an aside, I think the weather's great. More sun. I don't understand the wanting-to-stay-pale thing, but each to their own. Just the summer weather and the opportunity for summer clothes is great.

London Preppy said...

Cheers Patrick, very nice of you. There are the occasional negative comments, but they're definitely not significant compared to the people who like the blog and are positive about it

Anonymous said...

You could say you were thinking about such a tattoo and then ask if his hurt. Then segue into the above-suggested line of questioning.

London Preppy said...

anon: That's a god one actually. I can do that

Oldyeller said...

I don't buy the "scared and shy" stuff-you go topless to clubs, which would terrify me.

The training partner makes it tough. Plus, you're probably listening to tunes while working out, which discourages anyone from saying anything to you (actually this is good as it reinforces your disinterested personna). But, possible topics include asking for advice on a body part (your calves not your knob), asking if he's attracted to David Hyde Pierce, mentioning that you seem to have misplaced your Victoria Cross-has he seen it, discussing the pros & cons of circus clowns, etc?

AlwaysReadySF said...

I don't think that saying that you had noticed is tattoo is such a big deal. It would be a lot worse if you said that you noticed how the that perfectly ripped t-shirt is clinging to his hot muscular sweaty body.
The tattoo is pretty safe. Plus it is the one topic of conversation that straight guys do not mind entertaining at the gym.

Alex said...

LP: It would imply that, but assuming he's not a meathead like you said he shouldn't care.. I mean you guys are at a gym right? Things get noticed unfortunately when you rip your shirt to show off your body.

You should go for it: I have a feeling you might have a thing for this 'superman'.

London Preppy said...

"Things get noticed unfortunately when you rip your shirt to show off your body"

Ha ha. That pretty much sums it up. Maybe I'll ask then.

You know what the thing is? What if he is gay or he has gay friends who are reading this blog, and he's aware of my stories? He's one step ahead, and very likely to be a few miles ahead too when he moves out of London cause I've freaked him out.

Oh well.

If you're reading this Superman, sorry, it's all in jest.

PS Can we still be best friends until the end of time?

AlwaysReadySF said...

Paranoia won't get you anywhere.

If he is reading this he is probably choosing the shackles he'd like to use to be tied up in your cellar.

London Preppy said...

always: Positive thinking eh? I'll have to try that one some time

Gary said...

Why not join a sailing club and learn to sail? Bet you’d meet handsome Nordic types there and sailing skills would fit in perfectly with the preppy lifestyle. Or take a class in the Literature of Disaffected Youth—surely there’d be lots of hunky literary types there, wouldn't there? But really I have know right to advise since I have the worst record known to man when it comes to meeting people. Actually, I think only one really good bit of advice has been given from your respondents today when the very wise Tim in Italy said, “just relax and let them come to you.” Simple and yet so right on.

Anonymous said...

Superman is a god and he is straight, but thanks for appreciating him .

London Preppy said...

anon: Do you know him?

Dick Pics said...

aw. you're in love. im so jealous. i want a superman. or even a ppt. in fact, give him (ppt) to me. i'll appreciate him more than you do.

Anonymous said...

Yes I do . Will pass on your blog details to him .

george said...

everyone seems to know supperman....i think they are all jealous of what you have (or don't have)......well he will either love you or hate you. he just has to realise that your blog is not a complete play by play factual commentary of your

WORD said...

The Joiner's Arms is a gay pub near to the Shoreditch end of Old Street.
It attracts every type of gay person in the area late on a Friday or Saturday.

You should give it a go, you will be met by a lot of people that will make your skin crawl but there'll also be one or two gems...