EDIT: To the people who've complained about me not publishing their country of origin / country of residence comment yesterday - I'm sorry, I did publish everything I received. I don't know why some of them didn't show up.
This is Saturday morning and on Saturday morning I clean my bathroom and kitchen (although not very carefully) and hoover the flat and do my food shopping and then I go to town where I meet Scott and we go to the gym, where we do arms in a way that shows that we can’t be bothered, we don’t really want to be there and then Scott goes off to meet Brendan and I go to the shops.
And Saturday morning is sunny and warm (despite the rest of the weekend being cold and rainy) and lots of people are wearing shorts and flip flops and sunglasses and I’m wearing jeans and a 1970s Greece football shirt and trainers (and I don’t have my sunglasses with me) and I feel inadequate for not having worn shorts, I feel like I’ve failed myself.
So I go to Topman at Oxford Circus which is insanely busy and overwhelming and prompts me to send the following message to both Donnell and Scott…
“I love Topman. It’s full of cheap clothes I want to buy and pseudo-fashionable boys I want to fuck”
…and I buy two skinny ties (one black, one grey) pick up some shorts but the queue for the changing room is too long so I put them back, pay for my ties, wonder what I’m going to do in Sydney with no Topman, no H&M and no Gap and leave.
Later in the evening I go to a friend’s house to watch Eurovision and this friend is from Cyprus and during this Eurovision evening the following things happen:
- There are seven guests in total: two Cypriots, one Spanish, one English, one Canadian, on Venezuelan, one Greek (me)
- When the time to vote comes I realise that the number is blocked from my mobile phone (which is provided and paid for by work) because it’s a high rate number (or something). Before panic sets in, the English guy offers me his phone (also provided by work but with a more liberal policy) and I vote for Greece five times
- The non-European guests don’t understand why I dive to the floor every time Greece gets a top score from any other country
- Greece finishes third. I’m happy with that
During this event, I exchange messages with Tom and Alexei who are attending a different Eurovision party, which quite frankly sounds a lot better (fuelled with a lot more alcohol and __) as Alexei later reveals that there are points where people attempt to recreate Kalomira’s breakdown. I won’t pretend this is something I haven’t blacked out and hallucinated I’m doing.
Oh yes, I’d also like to point out that the Greek entry (artist: Kalomira, song title: Secret Combination, you’ll need these for when you’re buying it) is now available to buy in UK iTunes and at some point on Tuesday it was at number 39 in the top 100, which makes it the highest selling Eurovision song this year in the UK, even higher than the UK entry. I like to kid myself that it might be in the official chart on Sunday.
Anyway, on Sunday I go to the gym and then I eat (but not much) and then at 1830 I go clubbing. I will put up a usual clubbing post tomorrow, so how about you don’t come and read it if you’re offended by that sort of thing?
In the meantime, here’s a list of the foods I consume on Monday, during the day, post-clubbing:
Four individual pizzas (barbecue chicken)
Dough balls with garlic butter dip (approx 12)
Two chicken breasts with beans
Three chocolate muffins
Four ice cream cones
Bag of popcorn (butter flavour)
Three eggs with toast
I’m starting to think it’s worth going clubbing just for the food the day after.