Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Tuesday 06/05/08

And this is a Monday when I don’t wake up because I never went to bed, and this Monday I play the role of young male who came back from clubbing and is spending the whole day watching TV.  This must be quite a small part because there is no script, I’m not given any lines, in fact the only dialogue I get is around 2000 when my neighbour shows up outside my window and waves at me about some post that got delivered by mistake to her flat. 

So I go outside to collect it and the two baguettes of garlic bread / four chocolate muffins / two chocolate milkshakes I’ve consumed during the day must be affecting my judgement, because I forget to take my keys with me and the door shuts behind me. 

I’m not that disappointed by this because at least the sun has gone down and I’m not in immediate danger of getting a tan or anything by being outdoors, plus I like it when things go wrong, I do it to myself, I do, and that’s why it really hurts. 

The other person who has keys to my flat is Scott, so I use the neighbour’s phone to call him and ask him to come over and then spend the next 45 minutes standing outside my front window waiting… 

…watching the back of the TV and trying to listen to the sound of the six episodes of Frasier I started playing back to back before coming out... 

…reading the satellite TV magazine that came through the post (yes, this is was the mis-delivered post) which I suppose is a good thing because I never give this magazine a chance, I put it straight in the bin, but on this Monday evening stuck outside my house I can’t pretend I don’t enjoy the: Sarah Jessica Parker interview / quiz assessing whether I’m psychic (I’m not) / update on what’s going on in the lives of the stars of 1990s TV show Gladiators 

Then Scott comes he lets me in, then I take two Zimovane – why the fuck not – and then I go to bed. 

On Tuesday it’s horrendously sunny and warm and I would love to stay in at lunchtime to avoid the sun, but I must go out, I must go out to buy a chicken wrap. 

As I leave work I walk past a leisure centre nearby, outside where I see an older man in a business suit lying face down on the ground, not at all moving, purple in the face, blue lips and his tongue half hanging out and some people are gathered around him, people playing the parts of concerned individuals showing an interest in their fellow man who’s in trouble and these people are calling an ambulance.  

My thoughts in order: 

1) His suit must be fucked now.

2) That must have been a good workout.

3) Workout.  Isn’t the Pale Personal Trainer in my gym fit?  Maybe I should have a wank. 

On my way back to the office I walk past the same place and the guy is still on the floor but this time there are two paramedics around him and he’s wearing an oxygen mask, which is a look that I could carry off a lot better, a look I should perhaps try out very soon. 

Yeah.

23 comments:

Michael said...

"dump her" is classic, and it'd be a good tattoo.

mppw said...

Your friend's back! Looking a bit less happy than last time, so now I can see why he's your friend.

Can you ask him, is the camera filming in reverse - hence the sweater, or is the wording designed so it only reads right when he looks in the mirror? I like the latter option most. More intriguing. Less likely.

London Preppy said...

michael: Yep, the only disadvantage is that it's an A&F t-shirt

mppw: My friend would like to point out that the video was filmed on Monday afternoon, after he hadn't slept since Saturday night, so he was extra unhappy and grumpy.

It's backward because the camera films in reverse I'm afraid...

Trybaby said...

Did you think we wouldn't noticed that you lifted that line from Radiohead? Tsk tsk, turning to a life of crime already?

Did you choose those pillows on purpose to match the music? I like the doggy, I remember that post. And what is that thing to your left? The White board foam thing? With the Depressions in it.

London Preppy said...

trybaby: I do drop in some lyrics every now and then, but not to claim them as my own, but for people to spot them. And be happy.

The cushions were in my flat, I take no responsibility.

That's a radiator

Trybaby said...

What ever, take the shame! :DDD

Trybaby said...

I guess your drawer will stay a little less cluttered for the time being ;)

Grace said...

Hmmmm I like that t-shirt.... I'd quite like two.. only saying dump him and another saying dump her... depending on my mood.

Your 'friend' is awfully cute, even when unhappy and grumpy... I have a little cupboard I'd like to keep him in, in between play times of course :-)

greekbearingnogifts said...

*agkalia*

(even though it might not be what you need or what you are after)

London Preppy said...

grace: OK, I can rent him out!

greek: Agkalia piso :-)

Max said...

Do you take requests? I would love to see a video of you eating a banana. I know you eat them—I read about it somewhere.

Is this comment creepy enough? No?

When you lips are slightly parted you look twice as cute. You should practice.

Maluminas said...

Near the end of the video i realized my breathing had synchronized with yours because the camera was moving up and down with it... Slightly creepy thought, with a touch of funniness and a dash of admiration.

Dick Pics said...

aww. i missed a video didn't i? i come here so manny times a day i didn't think i ever missed anything but obviously in my sleep you must have put it up and then promptly taken it down. that'll teach me. no more sleep for me. i may miss something. and we can't have that. hmm. i wonder if anyone has a bootleg copy....

Grace said...

Hehe..... how much we talking to rent him?

London Preppy said...

grace: He's pretty cheap

dick: It wasn't that good you know. No talking, just staring. He can do better

Anonymous said...

man i missed the video.
do you ever talk? im really curious to hear what your voice is like. i hope its not too gay.

London Preppy said...

anon: I put a talking video up a couple of weeks ago (for a day or so), I probably will again, I just need to find something to say.

If people can come up with suggestions about what I should say / talk about (in 20 seconds or so) I might consider it.

As for sounding gay, well kinda, not very I don't think

Anonymous said...

why dont you do a reading from one of bee's books?

London Preppy said...

anon: That's a god suggestion.

Wait though, I just filmed something. I'll post it now

Nix said...

Have you been reading Glamorama again?

Anonymous said...

Your eyes on the video that was here were awesome man...I've always thought you had brown eyes like most greeks do... cheers!

London Preppy said...

nix: No! How come? Is part of this post very Glamorama?

Nix said...

Roles... Scripts... Lines... It all reminds me of Victor's detachment, when he starts observing the "film crew" that follows him.

The question is, what role were you playing on Sunday night? :)