Sunday, 18 May 2008

Monday 19/05/08

On Friday I go to work and for this Friday I have chosen to wear: dark G-Star jeans, tucked in orange and white stripy shirt from Topman (sleeves rolled up), blue/white stripy braces from Topman, white Lonsdale trainers.  And this is an outfit that looks like this (only in the picture I’m barefoot because I haven’t put on the shoes yet):

So I go to work and I live through it until 1400 when we’ve booked the court to go and play squash.  And squash is good fun apart from I haven’t played for three years and I lose miserably, and squash is also very sweaty and hurty and bleedy.  And it’s hurty and bleedy, because I may not be a very good player, but I am definitely a spectacular one, a player that doesn’t mind diving, jumping and leaping to get those difficult shots in (even though I still don’t). 

Then we shower, then I go to American Apparel to buy a new pair of underwear because I’ve sweated right through the old ones and I can’t wear them anymore, and then I go back to the office. 

In the office, I’m in the boardroom with some others doing something or nothing, and then the Managing Director comes in and he looks at me, and says: what kind if a get-up is this?  And I say what’s wrong with it?  And the Managing Director says that the dress code at work is “smart casual” but he’s not sure how my outfit today fits in with that.  And I say oh well, and then the Managing Director walks up to me and pulls my braces and snaps them against my chest. 

After 1730 it’s some work night out, which I decide to go along to because I’m very sociable like that and during this work night out we go to some pub, then we go to some restaurant, then I down three glasses of wine and a gin & tonic, and then I go home.  You can read more about that work night out at Fuzzy Logic’s blog here

On Saturday I go to the gym, where we may not have Superman, but we have Pale Personal Trainer (in the changing room no less) and PPT has his top off, and this time he has no chest rash, but he does have some chest hairs.  And now we know where the chest rash came from last time. 

Then this guy walks in the changing room and this guy is: late 30s, kinda small, definitely destroyed, most likely gay, shaved head (= bald), goatee, more or less the kind of person who spends Friday night to Monday morning at Fire, has ketamine for breakfast and GHB for dinner. 

And he says hi to PPT and from what I can gather the guy has used PPT at some point in the past, so they engage in some light banter, as their client/personal trainer relationship dictates. 

PPT says how are you, destroyed guy says good thanks, PPT says so how come you’re not in some club this weekend (I presume the guy has mentioned his clubbing habit at some point in their training session – he’s that proud of it), the destroyed guy replies, I’m going clubbing on Sunday morning actually, PPT says in a jokey way, oh ___ what are we going to do with you, so as to exhibit their difference in lifestyle, the destroyed guy replies, oh well, you know, as long as I’m happy, PPT replies, of course, that’s the most important thing, and I’m thinking, yes, happy; as happy as the rest of us who spend week after week in dark dingy clubs, pushing and shoving our way through crowds of sweaty half naked strangers, in a desperate pursuit of quick thrills and easy fixes, drugging it up to give it some meaning.

27 comments:

kim said...

all you need now is a black, wide-brimmed hat and you'll have completed the outfit ...

http://www.kochanowicz.com/AmishCouple.JPG

Tim in Italy said...

With the exception of Fuzzy Logic, your co-workers and Managing Director sound like a humorless lot (read: uninspired assholes). Or is that too harsh?

I didn't see the auction notice anywhere for the squash sweaty underwear, though I scanned the page several times. Obviously an oversight.

You seem to be getting out more, though the differences between straight clubbing and gay clubbing seem to be: a) time of day, i.e. straights are heading home just about the time gays are going out, b) the amount of exposed skin, and c) rituals: when have you ever come home from a gay bar with gum stuck in your cleevage?

You lead a strange existance, LP...

(4am here in Atlanta... jet lag is a wonderful accompanyment to commenting on Euro blogs!)

Dick Pics said...

is this managing director cute? that brace snap sounds like some sort of s&m mating ritual.

W said...

Nail on head - clubbing is so bloody weird. I have been out once this year. Last year i went out fornightly. Looking back i remember very little of interest and could basically sum it up as you did quite succinctly there. Yet it touches a part of us (a very basic part) and I have planned to do exactly that (bar the cheap thrills) to celebrate handing in my thesis next month, as it seems to me and my friends the most appropriate way to celebrate a major life event! Wrong, wrong, wrong but maybe just a little bit right.

I'm with your boss on not knowing exactly what that particular outfit means and how it fits in with the smart casual policy. But then i rarely shop anywhere but Gap and have only a rudimentary grasp of fashion.

Sam said...

LP, I thought this article on why Iceland is the happiest country in the world (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/may/18/iceland) might give you some enjoyment... and by "give you some enjoyment" I of course mean "cause you to despair at the cruelty of the fact that Iceland is perfect and everywhere else is horrible".

Nino said...

that outfit is hot. I'm sure you get this a lot, but seeing you in that makes me want to rip those clothes right off you!

Trybaby said...

I didn't used to think so before but you are really becoming very pale.

kim said...

just heard a second song by the Ting Tings ... i'm thinking we're onto something good here LP

Alex said...

Your manager sounds like a huge jerk!
And the whole "Oh __ what are we going to do with you?", if I'm adding the right tone, is a very very gay one. Ranks up there with "You're just too much" or "some kind of crazy" :P

Perhaps you should pursue this fellow.. ya know since he's no longer contagious?

Foxx said...

LP....I'm not at work right now and I think I will go get some braces.

London Preppy said...

kim: I was going for something more modern than that, but OK

tim: Ebay takes down used underwear. Can you believe it?

dick: Nope!

w: Agreed on clubbing, I used to do it a lot more and I still do occasionally but I would never consider it as a major contribution to my happiness.

As for the outfit, well it was a dress-down Friday, plus working in a marketing company based in Covent Garden I feel I can wear things near the wring end of fashionable sometimes. I wouldn't wear that on a normal day of course

sam: Excellent, thanks!

London Preppy said...

nino: Thanks. And that's the first time I've had that ;-)

trybaby: Thank you, you know how to make a boy happy

kim: Album's out today here!

alex: I think PPT was just being nervous and trying to deal humoprously with a guy he has nothing in commom with...

foxx: Very good. Remember to wear them with something that doesn't go

Nino said...

honestly...while you have an amazing body, and not to downplay that...I think you're sexier sometimes in the clothes you wear than when you don't have any on at all!

plus, i gotta agree with a comment I saw before, love your writing. (<~i may or may not have put that there so I dont seem so fucking creepy)

Hermes said...

Eisai theos!!!
I would say why not come to Australia (Sydney in specific) you would be worshipped like a god. It takes a lot effort and work to write so well. Keep up the great Blog.

Hermes

seahorse said...

i totally agree with Tim from Italy word for word except for the 'leading a strange existance' bit. There aint nuttin strange about your life. There are perhaps millions other in the same circumstances its just that we all express our social habits in other ways whether its going to the pub wif mates or meeting up wif the Jones's at church or sweatin it out at the local sauna. WE ARE ALL CREATURES OF HABIT! nuff said. Y'all hav a nice day now ya know... Practising for alabama lol

Anonymous said...

DAMO
Hmm I'm quite surprised. The blue braces work with the orange stripes. Had I not have seen it I would have thought that there was too much going on, but it looks very decent!
Nearly Eurovision time again!
Once again, im just not impressed with the Uk's entry...its just too bland....still haven't heard the Greek entry yet, is it better than last years entry?

Luke said...

Kim might just be me but is the Amish woman wearing a bra on her head? I also thought they shunned buttons for being too modern / work of the devil.

Any Amish fantasies to explore LP?

Anonymous said...

I love you but you look like an absolute moron in that outfit.

London Preppy said...

hermes: Ti na po! Efxaristo polu!

anon: The Greek entry is a Helena Paparizou pastiche. Naturally I love it. In any case I'm very excited this week

luke: Hmm..I'm not sure about that one. I'm coming to realise that I like people with an edge and there's certainly no edge there

anon: I'm pretty sure that I could choose clothes that would be universally accepted. On the other hand I sometimes like to wear clothes that could be hated by some, but loved by others. And the others are those that I'd have more in common with. This makes sense, right?

NGM said...

hey LP,
please elaborate on what you call 'destroyed' please.

London Preppy said...

ngm: Destroyed can mean a lot of things. One thing is: this group of people in their early/mid-30s who look like they're 45 because they've been going clubbing for 15 years non-stop and have taken so many drugs and missed so much sleep that there's no going back. Another thing is: having given up all hope or dreams or aspirations because you've realised how shit life is. I could go on

michael said...

I like this post.

Sh@ney said...

If there are any dark dingy clubs here, I am unaware of them. Not that I go out lookin of course :P

Interesting ensemble! But you wear it well!

Anyhoo, just dropping by to say heelooooo!

ciao baby

Dick Pics said...

so that's a no then?

Ja said...

You may have put me over the edge to buy suspenders. I've been close to buying twice now in the last month.

mr man said...

re: destroyed,

I think he just really, really wants to be loved

Mike said...

Great response: "I sometimes like to wear clothes that could be hated by some, but loved by others. And the others are those that I'd have more in common with." It's a fair way to decipher the "weirdoes" from the "boring" people? And the "boring" people ALWAYS want to "suck-the-life-out-of-you"?