Monday, 5 May 2008

Monday 05/05/08

On Saturday I get up and I watch Frasier as I’m having my breakfast and then I meet Scott and we go to the gym where we do legs and abs and then I go home where I stay for the rest of the day. 

On Sunday I get up and I watch Frasier as I’m having my breakfast and then I meet Scott and we go to the gym where we do back and abs and then I go home where I stay for the rest of the day… 

…until 2245 when I go out to go clubbing. 

So I walk in and I meet Donnell who’s already there and I ask.  Tell me, am I here to wear clothes?  And Donnell says.  No.  No you’re not.  And I take my top off and the evening starts. 

In the long-lived tradition (of the last two clubbing posts) here are some texts, pictures and quotes from the night.


Sent 2340: Hey.  Are you coming out tonight?  You better find me before I ___ my ___


“Are his abs surgically transposed?” “No, but he’s wearing baby oil which definitely helps”


Received 0109: I’m now on stage.  Show’s about to start

“I read your blog.  You write well and have a very distinctive style.  You should write a book”



“I’ve seen your blog.  People only read it because you look good”


Sent 2343: You could ___ now that I’m single


“Can you do me a favour?  Can you keep an eye out and let me know if anyone’s paler than me in here tonight?”


Sent 2351: I got you the Friends DVD by the way


“Oh sorry” “Well, you’ve sat on me for the last five minutes but that’s OK”


Sent 0701: I’ve gone home now


“So how do you find being single?” “It’s not so good”

57 comments:

Periwinkle said...

No LP, do not presuppose that you and your friends epitomise the top of the food chain.

I wear my face as my trophy as opposed to muscles - for exhibition. And ive always appreciated the muscle mary(s) as eye candy but felt that its just replacement for a deficit.

Also i dated one of you for 2 days. I dumped him because the mass though appreciated in bed made him inflexible and his B.O more pungent.

Im not being judgemental or anything. I mean i understand, we all have niche roles to fill.

But to what end. Id like to think that when im 35 reaching 40 (im 21 now) that there is something else besides the vices that i am accustomed to now.

Do you share the same sentiments?

Tim in Italy said...

The regular event you term "clubbing" is for me the yearly event termed: "White Party". I never would have survived your party style, even at 27.

"People only read your blog, because you look good." Cunt.

Lots of mixed emotions/curiosity re: spending much time with Scott. Your business but difficult not to comment. Is it fixable?

London Preppy said...

periwinkle: I'd like some clarification on the following points please:

Where in the post do I make the assumption that me and my friends "epitomise the top of he food chain" ?

Are muscles and an OK face mutually exclusive?

When you say you dated one of us, is it actually one of my friends or one of us 'muscle marys'. I assume the latter

Which one of me and my friends is 35 reaching 40?

Finally, I'm not very bright of course, but saying that a) everyone with muscles makes up for some deficit, b) is inflexible, c) has BO, d) is only accustomed to basic vices...sounds a little judgmental to me.

But that's OK I suppose, you are only 21 after all, you might change your views with a little more life experience.

And you might learn to not judge people by their appearances, as you extensively do in your comment.

I'm not being judgmental or anything

tim: The only reason why I still go clubbing occasionally is, I suspect, because I only did it for the first time when I was 25. But even in these three years I've come to hate it more than love it. In the first year I used to go out every three weeks or something. Now it's very three months. By the time I'm 30 I hope it will be hardly ever

Max said...

My guess is that most people start reading your blog because you look good, then stay because you're a good, entertaining writer, with a sense of irony and a compelling ability to develop nihilistic characters with which we are all more or less familiar.

Oh, and for the abs and nipples-they also read you for that.

London Preppy said...

max: That's fair enough!

Anonymous said...

“So how do you find being single?” “It’s not so good”

How would you know? Since your...ehmmm..."break-up", you've spent how many days without seeing each other or without being in contact?

London Preppy said...

anon: Ha ha. Good point. 0

michael01 said...

Have you written any short stories? You have all the material you'd need. If you're interested, do it. You have the discipline, and I think your style is there; it just needs honing. And you can always try out bits on us.

London Preppy said...

michael: I haven't written any, no. In terms of pure fiction I've only written a couple of pieces that I've posted on here (but I didn't say it was fiction of course)

Daver said...

I realize that LP has already made most of these comments but I felt the need to say them again.
I feel the need to comment about periwinkle's naive young post. I think it's quite humorous when someone as young as 21 feels they know and can generalize a whole group or subculture. I must admit, that we could possibly have a similar number of gay years and even if we do I don't think it's fair to make those judgments.
You may be lucky to have a great face so you can wear it as a trophy, not everyone does. Some muscle mary's may have a deficit of some sort, but who doesn't. Someone with strong opinions is often trying to cover their own deficits.
I can honestly say that I am a muscle mary because it suits my body type, it's either that or be round and no one wants that. Plus no one seems to complain about my looks. I'm also flexible and definitely don't have BO.
What niche and role do you fill I'm curious?
Oh, and what happens if someone has a great face and body?

London Preppy said...

periwinkle also made the following comment - I clicked reject instead of approve by accident so I had to paste it instead (even though as Frasier will tell you, there are no accidents).

"You are not that unintelligent, offence being the best defence does not just apply to sports.

Because most muscle mary's i observe, this is a generalisation of course, strut in the club, its this gait that is extremely annoying which i think they think is acceptable with another inch of pecks. An air of superiority - because muscles speaks volumes? Isnt that the reason you were topless.. or was it just warm? Help me here, its my 'immature' mind trying to gain insights into gay sub culture.

And a flock of them as your pictures remind me, alludes to my experiences when clubbing.

Inflexible because decorative muscles, are decorative, it does not delegate any control on the dance floor. I get annoyed when a hanging overgrown tricep repeatedly brushes against my hair because its owner couldnt control it.

I keep fit with yoga and running, without the hassle and side effects of protein additives etc. its healthier. i refuse to bulk up but i guess it is fine for those who need to; an OK face and muscles are not mutually exclusive. but that doesnt mean muscles make an OK face more OK.

I wasnt referring to your company as being old, it was more of a self reflection. What am i to do when im 40 and withering or sagging.

I was not judging. perhaps my tone was misread. Its perfectly fine like i said we have niche roles to fill. Have fun and be merry. Freedom rules. Although I do champion for a paradigm shift in obsessions of the typical gay man.

Thats all"

London Preppy said...

periwinkle: You say that "freedom rules" (whatever that means) and you say that we all have niche markets to fill, but your whole point is anti-freedom.

So you're not a muscle mary and you don't like them either. You even "dumped one" because he couldn't do all the acrobatic movements to satisfy your sexual needs in bed and also he smelt.

Why do you have to make these anti-muscle comments, if you're all for acceptance of niche markets?

Do you think I log on to gay blogs written by thin or fat people and dismiss their looks and lifestyles? No, I don't. And this is where the immaturity comes from.

If you really believed in freedom, the fact that there are muscly people out there who go to clubs and take their tops off, would not even be an issue for you. But it is. So you don't believe in freedom. I'm sorry but that is the logical conclusion.

However, as you do point out yourself maybe I completely misunderstand you and "your tone was misread"

I have to admit I find your writing style and vocabulary a bit difficult to make sense of - it's a bit sixth form (if you're British) or high school debating class. As your teacher, I'd give you a C-

Not a bad effort, but you contradict your own point plus you slightly overused your thesaurus

Jamie said...

I started reading your blog because your post grabbed my interest, your a very talented writer. If I was here to look at only your pictures, I might as well watch some porn to get off.

Keep up the good work LP, don't let the haters get you down, periwinkle is probably just a bitter skinny hairdresser with serious issues

London Preppy said...

jamie: Thanks mate, I'm glad you like it. The negative comments are about 1 in 100, so that's fine I can deal with that.

As for periwinkle, well at least he's trying to make some sort of debate, you should see the ones I don't publish which talk to me like they just walked in on me stabbing their mother in the throat. Just because I write a blog and I put some pictures up.

At least I have learnt the best way is to completely ignore those and not even read them - once I get a hint that somebody is writing just to make me feel sick and slag me off, I stop reading and delete

Anonymous said...

Oh dear I feel a cat fight coming on .....he is only 21 give him some lattitude for being inexperienced and misguided and probably lacking self confidence. LP sweetie I am such a fan but the c- comment is a Tad petulant ??

London Preppy said...

anon: Hmm...maybe it was...

As I said though I don't really have a problem with periwinkle's comments, I'm just trying to make him see the other side of the argument

Trybaby said...

I think that having muscles and "OK" face (OK in quotes because it's subjective)can improve the over all package(if you like muscles that is). In some ways it is more acceptable to judge someone on their muscles/body because that's something you can change as opposed to your face which unless you are going to have cosmetic surgery you can't do anything about.

Honestly I came here from referral from Debriefing the Boys because he said that there was this blog where this hot guy and all his friends go out clubbing a lot topless. Why I stayed? Mainly because I thought it was funny(I'm not going to say much better than that, I don't want to blow smoke up your ass). If you want to know in full detail, I don't know why you would, you can read this entry on my blog because it'd take too long to explain here.(I'm not trying to pimp out my blog or anything, I just don't like being imprecise)

http://isecretlyhateeveryoneandmyself.blogspot.com/2008/04/stuck.html#links

Trybaby said...

I thought it was :DDD

Trybaby said...

I think it is true that SOME people only read your blog for the pictures.

London Preppy said...

trybaby: I had actually seen this post of yours!

Trybaby said...

OMG!! REALLY!! WEIRD!! Why?! How?!Some one send it to you?! So it was YOU that I got the hit from London from. It all makes sense now. And now I'm slightly embarrassed.

London Preppy said...

trybaby: "I just found it" ;-)

AlwaysReadySF said...

I am going to try to keep my comment short and sweet...

YES: people usually look/talk to/make a connection with other people because of how they look.

People do NOT - however - stick around/talk to/read blogs etc for much longer if looks are the only factor. They get bored.

I haven't gotten bored so far and I find the reading entertaining, funny and amusingly self deprecating and reflective :)

Trybaby said...

OH, I see......:D
.
.
.
.
.
.
... And what? No comment? After all the comments I've left for you. After all the things I've done for you, and this is how you treat your mother... I mean reader? For shame! :D I'm kidding. Or am I?:DDD I am. (but am I really?:DDD)

Trybaby said...

What does the VIP wrist band give you that the civilians don't get?

Tim in Italy said...

Wait... you WRITE stuff on this blog?

chabang said...

surely if you're still seeing eachother regularly but not having sex and experiancing a bitter hatrid and sadness under the surface you're actually just now a married couple?

London Preppy said...

trybaby: The opportunity to hang out with properly destroyed dancers and assorted trashy personalities backstage?

tim: Just here and there to fill the gap between pictures and videos...

chabang: You're very good

Trybaby said...

Surely if you're still seeing each other regularly but not having sex and experiencing a bitter hatred and sadness under the surface you're actually just now a married couple?

Oh crap I was going to say that, I swear.... I'm not just wishing I said that instead of you.....................8/ mine has better spelling and grammar..........

Fine..... very funny:(

Trybaby said...

What, no special VIP toilet to retreat to? No extra cool lounge area high above the dance floor from which to spit on the common folk?

Uhhlalá ! said...

I loved this party !

I was not there ... but the pics ... wow !

Periwinkle said...

Wow.

When a guy with a great bod starts exhibitionist tendencies on a false pretense it gets annoying. There are numerous other qualities that can be acclaimed, this would be the essence of my first comment, and most of my friends tend to look up to straight acting muscle marys as the ideal gay template... which is sad.. I think there may be more to you then just a gym addiction, true enough. And I believe there is a causal link between protein injections and BO as ammonia is a by product of protein breakdown or something, I learnt that during a levels.

And if you so choose to accuse me of judging then fine, you have yet to nuance the fine lines between making a point or observing and publishing that observation.

And I am an econs & law major, criticizing my writing style is understandable as you are not a native English speaker, but please do not accuse me of being xenophobic now.

I have to say thanks LP, for replying to my comments however ‘immature’. I do not have the right to rain down on your parade i.e your blog. My point is superficiality. I am not a victim of it as neither are you. But what about the others?

Anonymous said...

you being single = no harness.

thats one good thing.

Dick Pics said...

ok im sooo confused. like an obsessed teenage girl i have inspected every photo trying to figure out who is who. i don't think i've been this obsessed with a story line and all the clues since lost or desperate housewives. and i noticed that scott is wearing a necklace similar to the one of the guy in the first photo. and then i frantically tried to match the pants to yours. but you dont give us a good photo of your pants. the skin however does match. the skin of a vampire. pale. and i don't think you'd put up a photo of him making out with another guy. so is that you two kissing? i shouldn't be this obsessed but i am. its sad really. excuse me while i go try and forget that this is what i've become.

Ecstatic Instant said...

To Peritwinkle: Be careful what you write; London Preppy might actually publish it.

Anonymous said...

Once every few posts, LP lets slip an expression that gives him away as non-native, periwinkle, but your writing is truly atrocious.

Andy said...

i think the "danger" (not that any of this can be REALLY taken seriously) of blogging is this: we tend to think that we "know" one another because we read a blog. i think this incorrect. it's probably better to see this blog, like other blogs, as a collection of stories about a character who may or may not resemble the author. to equate the two is a bit like looking at one face of a die and thinking all the others read six. the blog's personality is inherently "caricaturized"; a person is probably inclined to write in a blog at similar moments in his life - when he's sad or angry, for instance - and this makes for one particular account of self.

it would probably be naive to think that bloggers don't subconsciously (or consciously) want to be judged - or else, the blog might be private, i think - but it would also be naive to assume that any sort of judgment would be complete or even relevant, although i'm willing to debate the latter. very few readers know this fellow at all, and if they do, it's because they've seen him day to day, or at least chatted with him in a different setting. to judge him without other context is probably unwise - this rules out degradations and deifications alike.

oops, that is all very academic.





i could be totally off the mark here, but i don't THINK i'm alone in reading this blog pretty simply because it's a good story.

queer asian said...

I didn't know the exact definition of muscle mary....so i looked it up online, there were a few but this is my fav:

A muscle guy (both straight and gay) who knows and sings, often in private, all the words to Christian Aguilera's "Beautiful". Broadway musicals, Liza Minelli CDs and his steroid set-up are among the stuff he'll save in a fire.

e.g. Will is such a Muscle Mary he practices body building competition poses while lip synching Cher!

Also what is a BO?

Alex said...

Ugh.. seeing these posts makes me hate my body worse than a 13-girl with a new Bratz doll....

You think a not-so-modestly skinny teen could pull off a muscular (not massive obviously but meaty) body by his twenties?

Were you always like it?

Alex said...

you broke up with Scott-- how did others catch on to this... I'm so sorry; try to mend the wounds if you're up to it..

Ilovedick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jack in Sydney said...

Is it me, or is periwinkle trying too hard? He's in university, but still doesn't know the difference between "then" and "than," not to mention what an ellipsis is for. His word choice is strange, as well.

(And forgive me for being superficial, but I found it hilarious that he named himself after either a fey shade of purple, or a snail.)

periwinkle's mummy said...

I apologise; my Netnanny subscription ran out, he's not supposed to use the internet unsupervised!

Greg Turner said...

Periwinkle seems like a bit of a poseur, but your mileage may vary.

I got sworn in as a federal prosecutor today! I'm like a young, and hopefully less bushy eyebrowed, Sam Waterston on Law & Order.

Jon C said...

I started reading your blog after being directed by Brechi.

I continued reading because of the humor, sarcasm, shameless body pics, and because I like that you actually take the time to respond to comments unlike others.

Now... 2 questions:
1. Did I miss something - did you and Scott break up?
2. When are you going to post a video of the clubbing?

Maluminas said...

periwinkle:

BO is avoided by proper hygiene (no secret), since proper hygiene removes the bacteria that produce BO by degrading the "nutrients" in sweat, notably urea, which is the main byproduct of protein degradation by out catabolism. The degradation of urea by the bacteria in turn produces ammonia. The human body produces imperceptible amounts of ammonia, so remove the bacteria, you remove the ammonia. But there are many other substances that cause body odor, and they are all produced by skin bacteria, with the exception of potent foods like spices and garlic, the aromatic components of which may persist through the metabolism and end up in sweat. Protein is not one of those food components.

My teachers were right, biochemistry IS useful :P

PS. Funny/disgusting thought: sweat has nearly the same composition as urine. So when you workout, you're basically urinating through your skin. Also, when you smell the urine of a healthy human, it doesnt smell much, unless the person ate pungent foods (or asparagus, its astouding how much it makes it stink, try it lol), just like sweat.

James said...

So now periwinkle is co-opting you against your legion of "superficial" readers. With friends like these...

London Preppy said...

queer asian: BO mean body odour

alex: Of course you can change your body in your 20s if that's what you want. I am most definitely not naturally athletic

jon: Yes. And that's an excellent idea, I'm quite annoyed I didn't think about it this time. Maybe in the next outing in three months

Thanks for replies to periwinkle's comments (some very amusing, some serious ones), and once again those comments weren't that negative - you should see the ones I'm hiding.

I'm sometimes tempted to publish them, so that everyone can see what I have to deal with occasionally and what genuinely blind hatred is directed at me (again very occasionally and from the same people again and again), but I think this will only encourage them

Maluminas said...

LP, i think you should do a "Special Edition Hater's Comments" blog post, with all your favorite/most notable hate comments. Then we can laugh/cry at them!

Stephen said...

I think that on one of your posts you should publish ONLY the offensive comments for our entertainment.

Graham said...

I loved this post LP and I loved the comments almost as much. But, obviously, I only come here to look at pictures of you and the other 'muscle marys', so erm, yeah.

timbo said...

Seriously, you should post some of the nasty comments. That kind of thing is hilaaarious! You should be above the hateful spewage of disgruntled strangers. I could see your friend from the deleted video being a sweet and sensitive type, but not London Preppy! Please share.

Ben said...

Don't you just love a good debate! lol

I think periwinkle is possibly missing the whole point of LP's blog here - there is a certain irony to most of it. Bless, poor peri!

At the end of the day, you only get one shot, so LP should live it as he wants to! And, if that means teasing us with pics that may, or may not, suggest some things that happened, and leave a question in out minds, then so be it!

Oldyeller said...

I'm getting to the point that I can pick out people just by their pecs and abs, but who is the fine fellow with the pierced bellybutton?

I think you allow people like periwinkle to get under your skin unnecessarily, although I think you enjoyed sparring with him a bit (I think you won on points by the way, but then I'm on your side). You're always telling us not to take the blog too seriously; perhaps you....

One of the good things about being at the gym is that you never run into judgemental people who question the wisdom of pumping up your body.

London Preppy said...

oldy: You're right that I let things/people get under my skin a little. I try not to be, but I'm human after all.

We know Madonna talks a lot of shit and she's definitely not to be quoted on anything, but she did say something worthwhile in her recent Q magazine interview.

The question was: what is there for you to achieve (or something like that), and she said that she wants to get to the point where people's opinions on her don't affect her. I.e. she doesn't care what people think of her. I think that's a good aim to have, even though if Madonna hasn't achieved it after 20 years in the global limelight, what chance do the rest of us have?

Oldyeller said...

No chance, and I'm a fine one to talk-I absolutely can't stand to have a single person dislike me. I think the fact that you are human, despite episodes of apparent perfection, is what draws so many readers to your blog (besides the abs and nipples).

Jon C said...

p.s. The picture of you smiling is the best. You have a great smile!