Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Wednesday 30/04/08

On Monday afternoon I get back to London and I’m kinda tired and unsettled and I just want to get home so I make that sacrifice, I pay £15 and I take the Heathrow Express that takes me home in twenty minutes instead of paying £3.50 or whatever it is to take the tube and be home in an hour and twenty minutes.

At home I unpack and read a Greek magazine that I brought with me and I make my gym bag for the next day and I go to Tesco to do my shopping – all these things on autopilot – and then Scott comes round and we talk and then we go for a walk even though it's raining and then he goes.

And on Monday I also decide that I’m going to start going to bed earlier, I’m going to start going to bed at 2315 and not at 0000, because I’ve been very sleep deprived and at least if I get this 45-minute headstart I’ll have a bit more time to panic and drop all the sleeping pills I can find at arm’s length when I haven’t slept two hours after I go to bed.

On Tuesday there is email overload: emails between me and Pam, emails between me and A Girl, emails between me and Mean, emails between me and Chris my Greek friend, emails between me and Andrews, emails between me and Alex, emails between me and Enid.

After work (was I really at work? I’m not sure at this point) I go to the gym – my new gym – where I see the pale personal trainer with the chest rash and I find out his name (there’s a board on the wall) and later at home I look him up on facebook, but he does not have a profile or at least he doesn’t have a profile that can be found by stalkers like me.

Oh on Tuesday lunchtime I also meet Mean for lunch and we walk around Covent Garden and this is the last week when Mean is working in the area. From next week I’ll be walking around on my own again.

In any case, while we still have Mean there, I see this guy standing against a lamp post and he is the most ridiculously preppy guy I have ever seen, so I practically walk up to him and take this picture. I can’t help myself.






It’s not just the navy pinstripe suit, it’s not the maroon stripy tie, it’s not the nonchalant pose, it’s not the brown leather bag, it’s not the cream jumper unnecessarily tied around his neck (oh my God that cream jumper), it’s not the sleek blonde 1930s hair, it’s not the bored vacant look. It’s all the things above put together.

I’m not blocking this guy’s eyes because this is not embarrassing for him, this is a tribute. He’s ACE.

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(unrelated to anything written above)

…and I would like to put pictures of HIM on here, pictures from HIS gaydar profile that he gave to ___, just to show what HE looks like, but I’m scared that people will only say HE’s better than me and what happened can be justified…

PS. Does anyone speak Spanish and can translate this for me? Say if - completely hypothetically of course - somebody had written that in the "Looking for" section of their profile.

I tried internet translations but it doesn't work. Maybe it's Gran Canaria slang or something...

PERSONAS IGUAL QUE YO-PASO DE PLUMAS Y DE MARICONEOS

EDIT: We now have a translation. Apparently this means: GUYS LIKE ME. I PASS ON FAGS AND FEMMES

Wow, this just keeps getting better.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Guys like me; I pass on fags and femmes.

Dick Pics said...

the preppy guy is truly awe inspiring. did you ask him to pose for you? i assume not but its hard to believe that not only does he dress like that but he stands like that as well. i wonder what he's like in bed. hmm. oh and i don't care what he looks like. i hate him. and trust me. i can hold a grudge.

London Preppy said...

anon: Excellent, thanks

dick: He was posing like that voluntarily. It's amazing, isn't it?

franck said...

"Nobody's better than me"
Make this your new mantra to battle insomnia

Dick Pics said...

yes it is. im still kinda staring at it wondering whats going on in that head of his. did he notice you take the photo? did he say anything?

Trybaby said...

What is going on in that display window in the back? Is that mannequin made to look as if it is jumping perpetually? It's not even a good jump, Weird!

Well as far as I am concerned you are already better than him. I already don't like him judging from that little excerpt from his profile.

Anonymous said...

I think for those of us that been reading your blog for some time can sense something happened w.r.t. S. You seem quite upset about it deep down...

Graham said...

LP,
Excellent post. I wish you had spoken to that guy in the pic, just to hear what ridiculously preppy things he would say!!

The spite and vengence is great, but when my ex dumped me, in a club, the first night of a weekend away together (in london!!!) I did something much worse, I acted like it didn't matter and was and am still ridiculously nice to him. It's agony for him.

Anonymous said...

Can we at least have a username LP? Im quite curious yet sympathetic.

Michael said...

That's f'd up.

Standard etiquette in your situation calls for Gaydar profiles to be kept secret.

Love the guy with the lamppost. I need a new bag like that.

London Preppy said...

franck: Hmm...

dick: He didn't notice. I was very close to him but quite discreet. Even if he did he didn't say anythign anyway

trybaby: I hadn't noticed the window before. You always pick up details from the background of pictures!

anon: ...

graham: Some guy did talk to him while I was there (a charity guy I think) but I didn't hear what they said. He seemed contemptuous though

anon: I have no idea what you're referring to of course, but I seem to think that you can do searches using the "Looking for" information on that website...

michael: It was a good bag AND matched with his shoes (sadly out of shot)

RugbyWannabe said...

LP - this new guy sounds like a complete douchebag, not to mention self-hating and uneducated.

Amazing how much you can tell about someone from a simple profile post.

You're far better. Put "She's Not Me" on repeat and I hope you feel better.

Mike said...

are people actually trashy enough to put that on their profiles?

Anonymous said...

I always cringe when I read 'Guys like me' I pass on fags and femmes' on gay sex sites. Hello YOU are a fag AND have a bit of a femme in you, you'd be staight if you didn't.

Oldyeller said...

Regarding the sleep problem, with which I am also afflicted; I have found that it helps to try to adopt a more positive attitude toward it. Rather than dreading going to bed, assuming that you won't sleep, repeat to yourself that you will have a proper night's sleep tonight and that as the days and weeks go on, you're becoming a better sleeper. Writing this down reinforces it. Your mind won't buy it at first of course, but if you keep repeating these positive thoughts (even during the day), eventually they seem to catch hold. May seem silly, but worth a try (although I recognize you have a lot else on your mind right now.)

Anonymous said...

You should download the new Coldplay song Violet Hill. You'll like it. Lots of pathos.

fisher(r)ing said...

"What happened" cannot be justified, even if HE's better than you. (Which, frankly, I think we all know isn't remotely possible.

Regarding preppy-lamp-post-leaner: As my grandmother used to say, "That dude is fucking awesome."

Ben said...

@trybaby - the mannequin is sat on a shelf, and if you take her wig off, she will have her name written on her head. Don't ask me how I know; I just do.

@LP - I love your use of the word 'ACE.' It is such a good word, and not used nearly enough these days.

London Preppy said...

rugby: Well, we can actually tell more about him - in the About section he simply says:

MASCULINO 100%

Naff said

mike: I couldn't possibly comment

anon: No comment again!

oldy: I do find that a positive attitude does help. Also going to bed at a reasonable time and thinking "no pressure"

anon: I got it!

fisher: He was definitely fucking awesome, I hope I see him again

ben: I likes it a lot too. Good mannequin knowledge there...

Stephen said...

This 2315 thing sounds like a good idea. My Mum has always said "An hour before midnight is worth two after", so by that rule-of-thumb, your 45mins will be 1½hrs to your body & mind.

Michael said...

London Preppy said...

michael: It was a good bag AND matched with his shoes (sadly out of shot)


Sadly, I had just assumed this was the case. I find it very necessary to match the shoes with the bag, and there are many people who do not.

On an unrelated note, don't do anything drastic over the next week. You'll thank yourself in a month.

London Preppy said...

stephen: Cool, lots of Mummy (and Grandma) advice today. It seems that indeed, they did know better!

michael: I'm very glad you're picking up on this point actually. I thought it sounded a bit questionable. I don't like it when people match things either. I think it's a lot better (and not just braver) when people take initiative with colours and materials (this sounds very gay but I don't care - I guess I'm a fag or femme ha ha). But this guy had done it well, it wasn't an exact match of shades etc, it just went well.

I'm glad we've sorted this out!

Timbo said...

Is it really appropriate to focus one's ire on the third party -- rather than the person who had a relationship with and ostensibly made some sort of commitment to the injured party? (No.)

When someone does something that's hurtful to you, it's not because there's something inadequate about you. It's that they have a big ole' gaping neediness/emptiness/insecurity that they can't fill or control.

And Benadryl really helps me sleep no matter what time I go to bed.

Anonymous said...

you should check out the satorialist.blogspot.com its full of well dressed people like that guy...i could not help myself but see if i could find masculino 100% on the dar and i found him and im really really not saying this to be nice but what on earth was scott thinking...the guy looks like he just crawled out a cave that has a rainbow flag hanging over the entrance

London Preppy said...

timbo: I absolutely agree with you on that one. Third parties are not to be blamed at all. I'm not making any direct comments my personal situations of course, but if I were in such a predicament I would not hold a grudge towards the third party at all, he has absolutely no share in the blame as far as I'm concerned

anon: I followed that link and can't find the site with the nicely dressed people.

As for the other point.............

Neil said...

So he cheated. You're moving. Why all the drama?

Anonymous said...

LP, I'm a long time reader and I've never posted a comment before, nevertheless this time I feel compelled to given the fact that what has happened to you always touches a nerve deep inside me (even if I've never experienced it).

I just wanted to tell you that, IF you're feeling down because of this, just remember everything will be fine if you remain strong. HE can't possible be better than you, and if HE actually stole him from you, I hope one of your faithful minions from the LP Army stationed in Spain finds HIM and shows HIM what a fab fag femme with a grudge can do if messed with.

And a little something in HIS own language for S.: Nadie sabe lo que tiene hasta que lo pierde.

Be strong, LP.

Although you surely don't know what is it that I'm talking about, so End Rant.

xxxx

Alex said...

So I suppose your beginning to let us into your aforementioned heartbreak?

Your words truly move mountains LP- or at least make everyday lifestyles novel-worthy!

Joe B said...

Wow. I didn't read this blog for one week and it turns out I missed so much. (A video with no face obfuscation!? I'm sad I missed it.)

Sorry to hear about the relationship, by the way. Here's where I'd give some advice but I don't really have any since I've been unfortunate(fortunate?) enough to have never really been in a relationship.

Now, to reread all the posts I missed...I'm so lost.

sdf said...

sorry to hear about his loss.

btw, time to change the "we are" thingy i guess.

Rico said...

Be gentle with ____.

I was unfaithful to the love of my life with someone I wouldn't have touched except I reached a point where I didn't feel I deserved the beautiful young man who adored me.

Your pain will be a far cry from the ache of loss that ____ will feel when you're no longer in his life.

Anonymous said...

thesartorialist.blogspot.com sorry i have terrible spelling....its great. scott schumann who is a photographer who is also at my agency travels around the world taking pictures of people who he thinks are well dressed