Monday, 21 April 2008

Tuesday 22/04/08

Saturday is the day when everyone is flying out to different destinations, and by everyone I mean Matty and Nicole who are going to Sydney for a year, and Scott who is going to Gran Canaria for a week.  Matty’s flight is at 2230 and Scott’s flight is at 2200, so around that time I’m sitting at home high on diesel and gasoline and six double chocolate muffins, and exchanging farewell text messages / emails / phonecalls with those guys.  Then I go to bed around 0200. 

On Sunday morning I go to Selfridges to buy some new Calvin Klein underwear for when I dress up as Marky Mark for Enid’s party.   But the Calvin Klein underwear section has way too much variety and I must be standing there staring into space looking very confused for quite a long time, when some woman comes up to me and asks if I need any help. 

And this woman is older than the average Selfridges salesperson (50?) and she has an accent, so I ask her what the underwear box means when it says the pants include a Profile Enhancer (which is blatantly code for “padding to make your knob look bigger”), because I want to make her feel embarrassed and see what she says.  And the woman pauses for a few seconds and says that this underwear “provides more support at the front”.  Then I buy three pairs of non-Profile Enhancer underwear, even though believe me I need it, and leave. 

Then I go to the gym and as I walk through Soho on my way there, two Greek people go past and one of them says to the other: By the way, you know this is where all the fags hang out?  And the word he uses for “fags” is very spiteful and derogative – fags is the closest translation I can come up with, but think a little worse (for Greek readers, the actual phrase he says is: “En to metaksi ksereis oti edo einai oles oi aderfares”.  So yes, I’m definitely looking forward to my weekend visit to Athens. 

Finally, on Sunday I make my first attempt at the Good Vibrations video and also decide that it might be the last one too.  I am certainly not posting that thing, but here are some caps to assess the ridiculousness for yourself.  

I think I’m only acceptable as a human being when I remain static.  And silent.  And blank.


"I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low" (Jay-Z)


"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" (Dr Dre)


"I ain't been out a second and I already gotta do some muthafuckin chin checkin" (Snoop Dogg)


"Gun pop, heart stop, homie this is heavy" (50 Cent)


"Is you knowin what you facin?" (Noreaga)


"Straight to the hotel, she suck dick and fuck well" (Ol Dirty Bastard)


"A hardcore player from the streets" (Ice T)


"Want a foot rub?" (Destiny's Child)


"Hittin' mutha-fuckas up when we pass by" (Tupac)


"My baby takes the morning train" (Sheena Easton)


The end

43 comments:

rickisimus2 said...

Scott alone in Gran Canaria? I hope he'll work there, not pleasure. ;)

London Preppy said...

rickisimus: Pleasure I'm afraid. Well I'm not afraid really, he can go on holiday without me if he likes

rickisimus2 said...

Hey LP, it was a joke. When my M. goes to London (e.g. for Moz concerts) I'm not afraid of it.

I know very well Gran Canaria coz I was living there until November.

London Preppy said...

rickisimous: I know it was a joke of course :-)

chabang said...

wait a min; does this mean there's a maudlin kitten alone in scott's house for a week...

Dick Pics said...

so, yeah, i wasn't sure how i felt before about this whole gangsta thing but if that's the way you'll be dressing from now on im all for it. in fact i demand it. oh and uh, in order to believe your claim you need profile enhancer i would need to see your cock. scott's too. it might seem like his has nothing to do with yours but just trust me on this. :)

Graham said...

LP, firstly, the pics look good. I was totally convinced that you were gangsta/brutha/street just like MM used to be (he's not anymore since he's gone all mainstream and hollywood and lets face it, after the remake of Planet of the apes how can he ever be taken seriously again!).
Secondly, Sheena Easton. Genius. I think she's kind of street too. Her dad died when she was young (so wikipedia tells me) so I reckon she had a tough upbringing. Plus, she's Scottish. You can't get much rougher than that, can you?

Tim in Italy said...

I think the snaps are hysterical! I really am reminded of a kid left home alone, but you're much more appealing than Tom Cruise lip syncing to "Good Ol' Rock and Roll". Hopefully, you won't run and join Scientology and go all wanky and ruin it all.

Are you not working this week?

Trybaby said...

Good idea with the hat. Who's shorts are those, because I don't want to believe they are yours.

I had something happen to me like that once. I was on a bus into Davie Village (gay street in Vancouver) and there were these two people speaking Spanish to each other and they did not suspect me to know Spanish (which I half do because everyone in my family does because most of my relatives live in Venezuela for some reason). And I'm not eaves dropping but they are just so loud and they say "blah blah blah los maricones!!! AHHAHAHHA" which translates into "blah blah blah those FAGGOTS!!! AHHAHAHA". I instantly whip my head around and give them the evil eye, and was thinking "Oh I KNOW you just didn't!" and they see me and they shut up instantly and I turn back around, and I don't hear another peep out of them the whole ride until they get off.

It's so nasty when people do things like that, especially right in front of you.

Trybaby said...

Oh yeah and I like the pictures a lot. 8D Good stuff!

Should Know Better said...

LP, you have to post the video. The caps are hilarious and you look fabulous (although I'm not sure this was your goal).

If you need back up dancers give me shout, I want to play!

george said...

clap...clap...clap...encore...encore...encore...yeah LP...george

scott said...

The hibiscus flower shorts undercut your gangsta image a bit. Also, I barely recognize you without your eye bar :)

bi-polar said...

Please go back to being preppy.

It is good to get out of comfort zone ever so often but then it is always nice to return home.

Anonymous said...

Boy you have huge nipples! But they're nice and.. er... juicy(?).
Love the board shorts.

Anonymous said...

Those pics are so hot! I'm not surprised that tight CKs are a good look for you :)
Wish we could see the video...

Superchilled said...

I read "My baby takes the morning train" (Sheena Easton)" and laughed out loud.
Classic.

mr man said...

also psycho for drum machine?

cute pics ~

Oldyeller said...

I think this is a huge step forward from the usual inert, vacuous, sluggish and taciturn stuff you've done before--not bad moves for a musclebound white guy. Post it on youtube (you look like a drunk but straight frat boy)--it may catch on-people will ridicule your act of course but complement your MM-like body.

Ben said...

Is the woman in Selfridges the old one, with grey hair in a bun, that looks like she has been transported out of the forest in Hansel & Gretel, or maybe the Post Office in Postman Pat?

What is she all about? I didn't think they employed olds in Selfridges.

AlwaysReadySF said...

Funniest set of pics I have seen on this blog so far :-)
I would love to see the full video!
It can't be that bad...

Stephen said...

What does 'high on diesel and gasoline' mean? Is it code for something, or is it just what it says?

I like the sound of those muffins, but I can't get the thought of Krispy Kreme out of my head now, after your post the other day. We don't have them in Scotland. :-(

London Preppy said...

chabang: Momo is staying with a neighbour this week. He'll be fine

dick: Hmm...I'll think about that. But you wouldn't be impressed anyway

graham: I am definitely as street as MM. He grew up in the rough streets of Boston you know (is there such a thing?!)

tim: Yes, I'm working as normal, but I've got into the habit of writing the post the night before and putting it up first thing in the morning before I go to work. But I'll change that now because I'm at work and don't have the chance to reply to the first comments

London Preppy said...

trybaby: They are mine, from years ago when I thought I was an American college guy (straight)

should know better: You should be careful what you say, because I might take you up on this offer

george: Merci (?)

scott: Yeah, they're more idiotic frat guy, aren't they. And they're from A&F

London Preppy said...

bi-polar: Give it a chance, I've only been GANGSTA (ahem) for two days

anon: Are they really that big? I hadn't realised

anon: The video is hideous trust me

superchilled: It was a lightbulb moment

London Preppy said...

mr man: I love that you got that. Thanks :-)

oldy: I'd post it if it was any good and I followed any of the lyrics. But I don't. Maybe I should get drunk and film it again

ben: That does sound like her. Aah...I liked her though

alwayready: Hmm...can I be convinced about the video?

stephen: I'm afraid it's just a lyric from somewhere. If you like Krispy Kremes so much, have you read this post? Please do:

http://londonpreppy.blogspot.com/2007/03/saturday-310307.html

AlwaysReadySF said...

Well you have gone from

(1) the video is hideous trust me

to

(2) Maybe I should get drunk and film it again

to

(3) can I be convinced?

so...I have a feeling that if a few more people ask you nicely, you might just comply ;-)

And I definitely vote for (2) get drunk and do it again!

Dick Pics said...

Trust me I'll enjoy it. I'm not a size queen. Doesn't take much to make me happy.

feetlikewings said...

I am very jealous of your abs. Do you really not eat carbs? Even whole wheat or whole grains?

London Preppy said...

feetlikewings: Thanks. You shouldn't be jealous though, if you like abs, just make it a habit to do some exercises every day maybe. I kinda like it.

I do eat carbs, not many though and just around my workouts

Rico said...

Sheena Easton --> Amazing! That last cap makes it look almost like you're going to make a kissy-face at the camera. A surprising show of energy (enthusiasm?) from someone usually so reserved... did the valium wear off? I vote for the "get drunk and do it again" option. :)

Should Know Better said...

I'm serious, I have the tightest, whitest, old school CKs ready and waiting. x

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Anonymous said...

I vote that you get drunk and film the video again too!

(and maybe show some ass... no? oops)

Mike said...

For da Marky Mark/gansta look, maybe trade yor fratboy cap for an “over-sized, over-the-ears” hip-hop cap. Might help the (humourous) image.

Rogue said...

You know how you is like from Greece or something or nothing...well is your dad Narcissus?

Rogue said...

Just to clarify: that was not a jab at your father (!) I didn't mean to be that disrespectful.

It was aimed at you from a Greek heritage viewpoint. Get it?

London Preppy said...

rogue: I think there is a family connection, yes ;-)

Rogue said...

Me thinks so too. Watch out for those reflective surfaces in Greece - they did your 'family' in once before.

London Preppy said...

rogue: No worries, I'll stay clear from the water

NGM said...

abs looking great dude.

Unknown said...

if u want more pics of Frank R (I took 'em), let me know how to submit 'em

London Preppy said...

Unknown: I want all pictures of Frank R that exist in humanity. Email me them at london dot preppy @ gmail dot com