Sunday, 20 April 2008

Monday 21/04/08

On Friday after the gym I meet Donnell and we go for dinner in Soho and then Donnell suggests we go to the cinema, which is fine by me because I have a book (An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison) and my iPod with me. 

And the film we choose to see is called Fools Gold, and it’s not a cinematic adaptation of the Stone Roses song as I was led gto believe, but it’s a ridiculous adventure with Matthew McConaughey and Goldie Hawn, or somebody who’s like Goldie Hawn a lot, only charmless. 

And this film drags on quite a long time – 5? 6 hours we're in there? – and as Donnell complains about the tedious plot I tell him it’s a good thing I’m not paying attention and then I go out and take pictures of the empty bathroom to kill some time. 

And what I take away from this film, a film that Matthew McConaughey spends 93% of shirtless, is that Matthew McConaughey goes to the gym a lot, but still manages to be one of the least sexually attractive people out there.  On the way out Donnell and I draw parallels between the way we look and the way Matthew McConaughey looks and conclude that we’re not too dissimilar and I’m thinking thank God some people out there find this look attractive, because I certainly don’t. 

On Saturday morning, Scott’s at mine and I ask him to come to the Gap with me, because I want his advise on a shirt I want to buy and Scott says, you don’t really want my advise, do you, and I says, you’re right, I just need somebody to agree with me. 

So Scott comes and agrees with me and I buy this shirt and then we go to Boots where I buy a knee support thing, which I’ll have to wear next weekend when I go back home for Greek Easter, to hide my leg tattoo from my parents. 

Then I go to the gym (my weekend one) and I do another good workout, still fueled by Friday’s motivation from the personal trainer plus two cans of sugar-free Red Bull – it’s Saturday and I don’t mind not sleeping at night. 

And during this workout I only listen to two songs – alternating between them – and these songs are Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and 99 Problems by Jay-Z.  During this gym session, I decide that these are the only two songs I ever want to work out to. 

I have mentioned before how much I can relate to Marky Mark’s lyrics, because we’re both so street, but 99 Problems also seems to be written for me.  Plus it features the best dialogue ever put down in lyrical form, which happens when – during the song – a policeman asks Jay-Z to pull over (Jay-Z is not happy) and the following exchange occurs: 

Policeman: "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"

Jay-Z: “Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?

Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know” 

And right now, on this Sunday afternoon that I’m writing this, I make a promise to myself that I’ll live my life following the following dictum, ongoing: 

Cause I’m young and I’m black and my hat’s real low 

Also in the gym, I see a pale guy that I like and at some point I go up to him and ask him what this exercise he’s doing is for, like I have no idea, just to make some contact with him.  I don’t want anything more obviously, just a two second verbal interaction is enough to satisfy my sexual needs with anyone. 

After the gym I go to Soho and I meet Alexei, who’s back from a trip back home in the States and he’s wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt which I have to take a picture of…

…and we chat and he drinks and I eat and he also tells me for the first time that he also writes a blog, a blog where I’m referred to as Patrick Bateman (although I’m clearly Clay), even before he met me (he was aware of the blog before he saw me in real life) and this blog can be found here.


Dick Pics said...

oh great. another blog to become obsessed with. thats just what i need. oh and i want that shirt. oh and i take offense to you comparing yourself to matthew. you're like ten times hotter than he is. he's trailer trash and you're. well im not quite sure what you are. before i would have said a preppy. but now you seem to be morphing into a gangsta. are you gonna change the name of the blog to london gangsta?

AlwaysReadySF said...


The knee support thing cracked me you really have to hide your tattoo at home? Will you need to limp to make the story believable? Maybe you can work in some sob story about falling trying to save poor suicidal Momo?

Alexei's shirt is, indeed, nice but he has still better outfits in his closet. Just you wait...;-)

Trybaby said...

God, are you still publishing posts? Don't you ever give up :/ ?!

Tim in Italy said...

I don't understand the Matthew however-you-spell-his-last-name thing either. (I can hear my friends chiming in, "Because he's not 16!" Bitches.) He always looks like he needs a shower; a bit too oily, back to nature, sleeps on the beach.

Yeah, "streets", that's the way I'd describe you... when I'm not calling you Lillian.

Great shirt! You should get that shirt. I think you'd look stunning... just not "streets".

Anonymous said...

"Matthew McConaughey goes to the gym a lot, but still manages to be one of the least sexually attractive people out there."

but dont you think most gym people are actually really un attractive and a bit ugly?! and so use the gym to give themselves a good body when in fact they have no personality and a rubbish face...?

London Preppy said...

dick: That's an idea I'm not averse to. Even though me pretending to be gangsta will be even more ridiculous than me pretending to be preppy

alwaysready: I'm waiting to see all those outfits then. So far I'm mostly seeing him in vests in the gym

trybaby: Some might say prolific, some might say relentless

London Preppy said...

tim: The worst thing about him is that the whole rugged nature guy thing is quite put on

anon: You're right. I only have myself to judge from, but my interest in training my body definitely stems from my huge personality void and ugly face.

Whilst making a sweeping statement generalising about everyone who goes to the gym, hiding behind an anonymous comment like you do, is a perfect sign of a charming personality and immense wit

bi-polar said...

Oh darlings we do seem to be having a bit of a cat fight ..............who pissed in your saucer?

But there is a point, the rugged outdoor look does tend to be more appealing than the over toned gym look, (and feels better too), although LP you do seem absolutely adorable!

Anonymous said...

im very charming and witty, as my previous comments have proven

(see marky mark post comments about tattoos and 3 nipples)

Anonymous said...

Great blog lp, really enjoying it. But don't take the gangsta thing too far: you're alienating your gay cop readership.

Oldyeller said...

Thinking about your motivational workout with PTG, maybe he can recommend someone (a non-PT)or you can find a work out mate who's more advanced than you and who could push you during your workouts. Perhaps not your style, but a thought.

London Preppy said...

oldyeller: That's a good idea actually. I couldn't work out with somebody every day but I'd like that for once a week

Timbo said...

I like your line about Goldie Hawn -- pretty much sums up who her daughter is. And I'm pleased to see that I am not alone in my distaste for McConaughey. He actually makes me cringe a bit and the way the media goes on about him exacerbates my reaction.

PTG should be your once a week trainer after all the kind and appreciative comments you made about him. Are you reading this, PTG?

London Preppy said...

timbo: Kate Hudson looks very much like her Mother but there is something missing, isn't there? Oh well, she still has a career and is fucking loaded so I'm sure she's not that bothered what we think.

As for the PTG, he'll think I'm writing these comments myself :-)

Trybaby said...

And Mathew also chews tobacco! SICK!!!

Ja said...

mcconaughey cracks me up with his off proportioned stubby arms. I just laugh and laugh, and then maybe cry a little because it hurts so much to watch his movies.

b-ag said...

Before Jay-Z, I had no intentions of being black, but now all I want to be is young (still am), black (half way there, so feel free to stop reading now as I don't have immense paleness) and wear a hat real low (although my head was clearly not meant to wear hats).
At least I have my youth.

Rico said...

YES! I finally found a connection to LP! Not six degrees of separation, but a mere THREE! Your friend Alexei is friends with two boys I know in Seattle, one of whom ("J.Cunt") I went to elementary/secondary school with.

Rico -> "J.Cunt" -> Alexei -> LP

My life is complete.

London Preppy said...

ja: I've only watched one movie of his, but it did bring tears to my eyes. Tears of pain indeed

b-ag: Well I have none of these things, so we can al dream about being Jay Z if we want

rico: That Alexei seems to be connected to everyone in North America