EDIT: Oh so I just started another blog, where I will only upload videos. I've called it London Preppy Videos. I don't know how often I'll update London Preppy Videos (definitely not as often as this blog), but check it out every now and then if you likes. To kickstart it I've put on a new video and I'm even showing my whole face. Well, you'll see what I mean anyway.
(thanks to everyone who pointed out the videos didn't work, I've fixed that now)
On Friday I finish work (I say finish even though I’m pretty sure they expect me to go back on Monday and for the following 37 years thereafter) and I go to the gym. After the gym I go to Euston station to meet Andrews’ Boyfriend who’s down in London for a job interview. After Euston station I go home and eat. After going home I go to Soho where I meet Donnell and break some news to him. After Soho I take the tube and head over to Scott’s to spend the night.
So it’s Friday night, around 2330 and everyone on the tube is either a tourist going back to their hotel, or a Londoner going home from the pub. Needless to say, all the Londoners are drunk. This causes an interesting shift in dynamic.
In the daytime on the tube, all the Londoners are quiet, miserable and they look on the floor. Tourists are loud, chatty and they look around. In the late evening (on weekends) the reverse happens. The Londoners are boisterous and chatty because they’re drunk; the tourists are quiet and avoid eye contact because they’re scared of the drunks.
On this Friday, I’m stood there, reading the last few pages of The Third Brother, having made the mistake of not wearing my iPod (even though it’s in my bag). Opposite me: overweight poor black guy in his late 30s pretending to read free newspaper (although he can’t read English), presumably on his way to some factory nightshift. Next to him: English couple in their mid-30s, guy is completely pissed, talking to everyone around him, including poor black guy (“had a good night mate?”, “you’ll have to excuse my girlfriend, she doesn’t get out often”, etc), girlfriend also pissed, trying to look embarrassed but secretly looking at boyfriend in admiration (you know that stupid almost proud look women put on when their boyfriend gets pissed and becomes cocky and talks to strangers).
By __ station, I’ve had enough so I kneel down, slowly open my bag, notice a few people watching me, put my hand in, unzip a pocket, fantasise about pulling out a gun and shooting the drunk between the eyes, pull out my iPod instead, start playing Ella Elle L’a by France Galle followed by Nobody Loves Us by Morrissey.
On Saturday, at Scott’s house, I get up and go to the shop, buy ingredients to make chocolate truffles, come back, make chocolate truffles, leave.
I go to the gym where I do legs and abs and I swim, and then go home where for the rest of the evening I watch about 15 minutes of the films: Enchanted, Lovewrecked, read the end of my book, go to Tesco for my weekly shopping, watch part of the World Swimming Championship that’s held in Manchester…
…reminisce about working in that same swimming pool in 2002 as a lifeguard, recognize some of the swimmers that used to say hi to me in the early mornings they used to come in for training, fight an internal battle on whether I should bulk up and be musclier or try to emulate a leaner swimmer’s body, lose the battle either way.
At 0100 Scott comes over to mine with ___, he draws the phrase “DON’T READ CAMUS” on my left arm, we hang out, share a Valium, go to bed.
On Sunday I get up and go to the gym again to do back and abs and swim. On the tube on the way there I see a guy I recognize from somewhere – a guy I don’t know personally but may have seen on the cover of Men’s Health. As his girlfriend cuddles up to him and picks hard skin from the palms of his hands (a gesture that implies to me they’ve been together for longer than I care to think about), I look at his perfect face, his shaved blonde hair, his smooth white skin and realize that few things hurt me more than physical beauty.
Later at home, I mess around on youtube a bit and find the following video of these boys lip-synching to Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and make the following decisions:
- Over the next week I will not listen to any other songs. I will listen to Good Vibrations by Marky Mark exclusively until I know all the lyrics
- I need to find two muscly, straight friends with an ironic taste for ridiculous pop/rap, dress up (=dress down really, or more accurately undress) and shoot my own video- I need to be invited to a fancy dress party very, very soon so I can go as Marky Mark: no top, ridiculous chain, big white Calvin Klein underwear sticking out way high above my jeans/baggy shorts, baseball cap, big basketball trainers. Right now, there is nothing in my life that I want to do more