Friday, 11 April 2008

Friday 11/04/08

So on Wednesday I dress for a funeral and I go to work and the moment I walk up to my desk my boss says, you’re looking very smart, and I says thanks and some other guy says, or like you’re going to a funeral and I’m acting like: oh really, I hadn’t noticed.  Then my boss asks if I perhaps have a job interview (as a joke) and I says, yes, can please leave at 1600 today (as a joke). 

Then I work a bit and then I receive an email from a girl at the other end of the office and this email says: “I saw you were wearing a black tie today which although eminently stylish does not usually mean good news. Sorry to see that”.

Then I email this girl back and I tell her: “Actually it's okay, a part of me has just been slowing dying over the past 28 years and I've finally ready to start the mourning process. Today I'm attending my own funeral.  I appreciate your concern”.

At lunchtime I’m supposed to meet Mean and Matty and Nicole and this is the last time I will have seen Matty and Nicole before they move to Australia next week.  So Mean and I get there first and Matty and Nicole are running late, and while we’re waiting Mean and I slag them off, because quite honestly who do they think they are leaving us waiting, we have jobs after all, what do they do all day?  Nothing, that’s what (they’ve both finished working now and are just killing time until they fly out).

Then they arrive and I give Matty some iPod headphones I got him as a farewell present and then we chat for a bit and then we hug and then I go…

…because I have to meet A Girl at the local churchyard, where we can hang out in our funeral clothes and look mournful.

So I get there and I find A Girl sitting on the closest thing to a tomb they have, dressed in black, wearing dark sunglasses and smoking a fag.  And I walk up to her and tell her, you don’t look crazy at all, and then we both sit on the tomb (or the closest thing they have) and we occasionally take pictures of each other trying to look solemn and the look we’re going for, specifically, is:

We’re in this cemetery.  We’re mourning and we’re reflective after the death of a friend (?), distant relative (?) that we weren’t that close to anyway.  We are almost still in shock from this person's death, we haven't even been able to process our feelings. Deep down inside (although we would never even be able to consciously think it at the moment) we are secretly relieved that they are dead.  These thoughts will come much later, but for now we can just stare at the coffin and wonder what, if anything, we could have done differently to save a life that never really had a chance.





Then we head back to the office where we work a bit more and I consider using these pictures as my PC desktop theme (but I’m not brave enough) and then we leave.

Later that night, in bed, I can’t sleep so I get up at 0045, take some Tylenol PM, spray an ant I see in the kitchen, log on to the blog and answer to some comments, go back to bed, focus on the pictures from the churchyard and nothing else, fall asleep.

25 comments:

Jim said...

Wait, so no work review either?

London Preppy said...

jim: Oh yeah, work review, yes. I don't really want to go into it in detail, but some good news, some pretty average news. Not too terrible

Timmy said...

You look quite handsome in your suit and A Girl looks quite attractive.

Dick Pics said...

haha. this is priceless. you guys both look great. especially a girl. she is what every women should look like at a funeral. but why aren't you brave enough to use the pics? are you afraid if you do they'll finally have you committed?

London Preppy said...

timmy: Thanks. And crazy hopefully?

dick: She is the perfect funeral broad, true enough. I've actually put the pictures up provisionally, just before I left work today. Nobody has seen them yet

Joe B said...

Nice placement of A Girl's red obfuscater.

London Preppy said...

joe: Thanks. It makes her completely unrecognizable, right? Unless she grows a big red moustache

skountouflis said...

“...a part of me has just been slowing dying over the past 28 years and I've finally ready to start the mourning process. Today I'm attending my own funeral...”.To kommati auto milaei apo mono tou! Otan elega gia thn aisiodoksh melagxolia ennousa auto akrivws pou perigrafeis s'auto to kommati!Apo ta kalutera pou diavasa teleutaia..."today im attending my own funeral...": sugklonistiko :)Na'kseres poses fores exw noiwsei etsi!ki oxi mono egw...polloi anthrwpoi gurw mas.autes oi mikres khdeies tou eautou mas einai pou mas kanoun kaluterous kai ekseliksimous pneumatika...

macmybiotchup said...

It's so very Dark Shadows of you


Or insanely like the band Private's gothic music videos.

DanNaked said...

Suggestion for a new mourning pose (reverse if you're left-handed [which I think is sexy -- but enough about me because this blog is about YOU, after all]): right hand gently cupping crotch, left hand holding right wrist.

kim said...

i've never understood guys who leave the bottom button undone but do-up the top one ... I go the opposite myself, or neither, or both ... though I wear a suit once a year (lives in the tropics) but never top on and bottom off ... makes you look like you've got Thunder Thighs or a bucket-arse.

Harsh, but fair.

Maluminas said...

I love how A Girl's pose says "Read the will already, I have a appointment in 20 minutes to do my nails."

The pale blond hair adds an extra punch.

tyler said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Trybaby said...

You look as if you are A Girls younger brother and you both are attending your parents unfortunate death. They were vacationing in the swiss alps when a freak avalanche swept them up to hight heaven. Now you are so rich but so empty. There is nothing left to do but to go on a drug filled nose dive into oblivion.


ps:I miss the days when you could enlarge the photos. This only started happening when you started using the mac. What changed?

Fresco said...

I wish I could comment with a video showing how much I laughed / enjoyed reading this post.
Btw, you’re hardly recognisable with your clothes on. :-)

ethan said...

cute with or without clothes :-)

Superchilled said...

I think A-Girl get's an A for performance - she has the whole "I really don't give a shit, but I'm wondering what's in the will" thing perfectly encapsulated.
LP though, I think you just look bored; waiting for something to happen.

george said...

you both look really good, but i think you look like a undertaker. a dashing one at that.......george

London Preppy said...

kim: Actually this is a 3-button jacket and I've done the middle one up only. The picture doesn't do just to the shape of my suit anyway, it does look best like that (middle button only)

London Preppy said...

trybaby: I don't know actually. I haven't been doing anything different, it must be the mac

superchilled: Unfortunately I can't show my whole face. My look is centred around my eyes - I'm looking down, completely lost in sorrow, genuinely like my whole family just passed in a big house fire. But at the moment with the red block I just look bored :-(

Alex said...

What don't you show your face here, if you have already did that at BigMuscle.com ?

London Preppy said...

alex: Thanks, I think it had been a whole 2.5 days since somebody asked the face/red block question

Alex said...

You are welcome. Random guess: you don't like how your eyes look like?

London Preppy said...

alex: That's it

Alex said...

You're kidding? They are lovely.