Sunday, 30 March 2008

Sunday 30/03/08

So this weekend Andrews is visiting with his boyfriend and they’re staying with me.  I don’t mind having people stay with me, as long as they don’t want to interact much and put me out of my schedule.  Of course Andrews knows this – we’ve lived together for 5+ years – so nobody’s disappointed. 

Andrews rings me at work on Friday and he tells me that they’re arriving at 1750, so I say that’s very nice but I’m going to the gym after work (to do chest and abs) and I’ll be at home around 1930, so they should find a way to entertain themselves in the meantime.  Then they find a way to entertain themselves and then we meet. 

Later in the evening I leave them at home and I go over to Scott’s to spend the night.  Scott tells us that he’s quite sick so I bring with me: Moroccan Chickpea New Covent Garden Food Co soup, Lemsip Cold & Flu Max Relief sachets (lemon flavour), two plums, one tin of prunes.  On the way to Scott’s I listen to Machine Gun by Portishead, which is followed by Black Cat by Ladytron, which is followed by After The Rain by Grand Avenue, which is fo 

I let myself in to Scott’s and I find him semi-conscious on the bed, I probe him a bit and he drags himself to the sofa, we try to interact but it’s not happening, I realize he’s way too sick so I leave what I’ve brought him (apart from the Lemsip which I forget in my bag) and I go back home. 

Saturday is the day when I was planning to make my first chocolate dessert from my new recipe book, but Scott is still sick and it’s not fun doing it on my own.  And I don’t think Andrew and Boyfriend share my enthusiasm for developing a talent in baking goods.  So instead, I go to the gym where I do arms and abs and I come cross a pair of Adidas Y3 trainers by Yohji Yamamoto in my size, which I take. 

In the afternoon I go back home and while Andrew and Boyfriend are watching TV in the living room, I take my laptop in my bedroom, spend sufficient time on bigmuscle.com and fall asleep.  

Later, having been inspired by all the profile pictures on bigmuscle.com where everyone seems to just flex their muscles and try to look hard, I take the following picture in the bathroom.  I’m not sure I look as fuck-off as most of the people on bigmuscle.com with their beards and their steroids and their brawn, but it’s all I got at this point.


On Saturday evening Andrew and Boyfriend go for dinner and I meet Mean and we go for dinner – because we want to go to different places.  Then we all meet up and go for coffee.  Scott also turns up, but he’s still sick and perhaps he shouldn’t have. 

During this coffee drinking event, I buy and triple chocolate muffin which I eat and spit in a napkin.  Yes, I do eat some carbs now, but I’m not completely self-destructive just yet.  Here is a picture of the regurgitated triple chocolate muffin (with napkin).  

I have kept and taken this home and after Mean’s suggestion I am willing to gift it to one lucky reader.  If you’re interested, please let me know and I’ll post it to you, but you might have to cover the postage costs.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

You giving away food that has already been eaten is the most disgusting thing I have read today. I say today, because I know I wille read something more disgusting soon. Not here, obviously, the net is a large place. I know you lik being famous, but you're pushing it. But since you're this huge celebrity, why not ask money for it? Lots of peaople may want to eat your waste and pay for it. Fetishes come in many varieties.

London Preppy said...

anon: Thanks for the comment.

I did search my blog to see if I've referred to myself as famous or a huge celebrity at any point, but I couldn't find it mind you

Auctor Ignotus said...

I think the idea of mailing your spit up food is HILARIOUS and would very much like a followup post about it's eventual destination.

I do think you could sell it along with your Zara shirt button and maybe ten or fifteen of the Tesco plastic bags you had attached to your razor.

London Preppy said...

auctor: Yeah, I don't expect many takers, but who knows eh?

Fresco said...

Late 1 year anniversary of your blog comment:
I don’t like you, nor your blog and your writing style.
Now, did or didn’t I mean that?
Who the fuck knows / cares. :-)

Auctor Ignotus said...

You never know. And that is the creepy part.

Tim in Italy said...

I realized in this post that what I really like about you is that you speak your mind and go your own way. I've been working hard at it the last few years and I'm doing pretty well, but I find I get huge guilt trips. I also find that some people who have known me for a long while try and steer me and then get very upset when I tell them that I'll be doing something different. This is what comes from years of trying to be a "nice guy".

Used underwear - good.
Used food - bad... but I'm dying to know if someone wants it. It's the writer in me.

Marcus said...

Please elaborate on taking the Adidas. Did they actually belong to someone else or were they abandoned? I have had a fetish for stealing used jock stuff ever since I was 13 and pulled a pair of a hot boy's white briefs through the mesh locker door and found some pubes inside.

And I love the chewed up chocolate mess. If it were 10 years into the future, and the technology for cloning humans was perfected, I would gladly pay you for it so I could have your dna to use to clone a litte LP and have a son.

JimmyD said...

Since it has been in contact with your saliva, aren't you at all worried that your DNA will be lifted and used to create clones?
There could be dozens, if not hundreds of London Preppy clones all over the world.
Just (spit out) food for thought.

Anonymous said...

although I find that disgusting I also think it would be hysterical and although I haven't mailed any previously chewed foods I have given half eaten cakes as birthday presents..... are you on bigmuscle.com lp?

Jon C said...

What ever happened to the giant picture you tried to sell?

McKenzie said...

I'll feed it to the feral cats in my neighborhood if you send it to me!

Your bigmuscle.com picture needs to have some captions to go with it. Something very American, neanderthal jock like
"If you want to get like me LIFT MORE!"
"EAT MORE!"
"DO MORE REPS!"
"SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!"

Stephen said...

hey those were my shoes! Give them back!

London Preppy said...

fresco: Very good, like I wrote this comment myself

tim: Yeah, I don't think I can generally be described as "flexible". Maybe I'd want to, but maybe I wouldn't

marcus: They had been left in the changing rooms for 3 days. Abandoned I should say. I was doing them a favour

jimmy: Yeah that's one of the benefits! (maybe not so much a benefit though)

anon: Not so much

jon: I changed my mind - I've cut it out of the frame and rolled it up and stored it away

mckenzie: "I take my training very seriously and so should you"

stephen: If you give me more details you can have them back. I also washed them for you

Greg Turner said...

Just a quick note to say that, as I'm in London this week, I made a point to catch the Apprentice. Lee looked like he had leprosy, alas. Alex Whatevermacallitspoon is the way to go.

London Preppy said...

greg: Yes, poor Lee. I'm willing to stick by him for the time being though. Alex is in my top 4, don't get me wrong (I'm not averse to Ian or Michael either strangely)

Red Exile / Красная Ссылка said...

Mercifully off topic, and after blogging about my recent trip to St Petersburg, you would I think like the head chef at elitny restaurant, Terrassa:

http://www.terrassa.ru/en/chef/

Enjoy. I recommend it (the food).

chabang said...

actually if i won it i'd throw away the cake and just eat the napkin....

Dick Pics said...

i'd take you over a bigmuscle guy any day. actually thats not true. i'd take you then the bigmuscle guy.

London Preppy said...

red: This is really the chef? He's VERY young!

chabang: That is actually advisable, no calorific content as far as I know anyway

London Preppy said...

dick: I'd take 8 out of 10 bigmuscle guys, then me

Riky said...

Gross! Did you at least try to share your muffin before yah'wasted it?

London Preppy said...

riky: No, it was MY muffin!

Dick Pics said...

ill take ten big muscle guys and you all at the same time.

Ilovedick said...

you are so sexy

kim said...

enough with allowing the anonymous postings LP; they're negative, depressing and completely off-the-mark (not all, but most)

when you have people like Tim In Italy, Auctor, Red Exile, Daver, etc commenting, why would you want random nasties?

Timmy said...

you make me laugh :-)

London Preppy said...

kim: You're right you know. And you should see the ones I don''t allow! Maybe I'll just use tougher criteria and not publish anything remotely negative at all

seescapist said...

I'll never understand your big muscle complex, but I understand the muffin perfectly well. Hopefully you didn't make anyone around vommit, but all and all what you spit out is none of anybody's business, isn't it? Great blog, keep going ;)

Northern Monkey said...

i am very disappointed that the picture with chocolate smeared all over your face did not make it online.

That was funny!!!

george said...

that muffin thing your doing if off man....your sick....i love it.....if i was in london i would ask for it but no i am in melbourne and like you i wouldn't pay postage for that crap.....lol....are you sure it's choc muffin and not a warm soft turd?......george

Trybaby said...

For someone who appears to be concerned apropos to what others think of him, it appears incongruous of yourself to undertake an act ostensibly "socially unacceptable", in front of others, such as masticate and expel food. Or is this agreeable for you insomuch as it occurred amids close friends?

And OMG!!! Like how old is that chef? 17? Owner's son much?

Brian said...

Your face scruff looks hot in the pic. You should definitely keep it, but you can keep the muffin for someone else...

Brian said...

Don't know if the first comment went through or not, but I wanted to say that the scruff looks pretty hot in the most recent pic, but I can't judge just the mustache without the rest of the face.

Also, the regurgitated muffin is kinda gross, but a vial of spit might be nice... HA!

Craig said...

You look pretty fuck-off what with the stubble & all.
Regarding the triple choc. muffin, we all certainly appreciate your thoughtfulness. Just when it starts to look like you might be taking your readers for granted, you go & do something "sweet" like this.

AlwaysReadySF said...

O.K. this is truly sick and I cannot believe I am doing this but I have just GOTTA know...did anybody actually ask for the triple chocolate regurgitated muffin? :-)

London Preppy said...

seescapist: Nah, I warned them and I was discreet

northern: That picture will remain hidden!

george: Eek! You know what anon at the top of this page would say: "...but you're pushing it"

trybaby: I'm very disappointed! Is that what comes across - that I care what people think of me? On the contrary, the only person I care about the opinion of is me!

brian: Cool, I'm keeping the stubble

craig: I know, I'm just so giving, right?

alwaysready: Nah, nobody!

george said...

"...but you're pushing it"....hahahahaha...was that pun intended? whether or not that was funny.....george