Sunday, 9 March 2008

Sunday 09/03/08

So there are around 10 questions left from the Q&A session, but I’ll leave those for now. Hope that’s OK – it took a full week to answer the rest of them and I want to get on with writing stories again. 

And on Friday the 29th of February, the new Madonna single leaks. 

It’s Friday night and I’ve just come home from a work night out (people getting pissed / fights with strangers / gossip / backstabbing / the usual) and I’m checking some music messageboard I always read and find out that there’s a rip online of 4 Minutes from some French radio station that played the song long before anyone’s allowed to. 

And the file is really low quality and there’s an overexcited French DJ shouting on top of it (“nouveau Madonna”, “produe by TImbalann”, “boo!”) and you can hardly hear the beat or Madonna singing, but that doesn’t stop me from… 

…staying up for the next two hours playing it on repeat and trying to figure out what it’s like and how annoying these horns are likely to get over the next 10 months, despite the fact that I’m really tired and I want to go to bed and around 2am I literally have to hold my eyes open to stop myself from falling asleep… 

…calling Scott to share the news, who doesn’t give a shit and is asking me why I keep listening to it if I can’t even hear it properly (I don’t know)… 

…texting and messaging Bryant on facebook, who’s the biggest Madonna fan I know and proceeding to analyse and review the new song from the low quality clip we’ve both heard 50 times by that time… 

Then I go to bed. 

I don’t know why I’m so interested in Madonna, I really don’t care about other female singers who can be classified as “gay icons” (Bette Midler?  Cher?  Barbra Streisand?  Kylie?  None of them for fuck’s sake), but I guess Madonna has always been in the background as I’m growing up.  

Her face is so familiar I sometimes mistake her image for my Mother, and this is not a joke. And some poignant moments involving Madonna in my life so far are: 

1)    I’m in primary school, I’m – what? – 7 years old and I’m talking to some girl who’s a few years above me and I remember claiming to like Madonna and she says no you don’t, name 3 songs of hers if you do and I’m too young to remember song titles (especially in English which I hardly speak at that point) and I guess she wins that round, but where the fuck is she now, hmm, I bet she didn’t stay up on that Friday night obsessing over the LQ French radio rip 

2)    I’m 11 years old (maybe) and I’m at the summer house with my sister and Mummy and Daddy and they’re sitting in the garden outside and I’m on my own in the living room watching the Blonde Ambition tour that’s on TV and I keep turning the channel over every time somebody comes in and walks past, because I cannot be seen watching that Like A Virgin performance where she’s faking masturbation on the bed 

3)    I’m on my first day in the first year of secondary school (12 years old?) and it’s a really pretentious snobby private school and all the kids are fucking tossers, like only rich kids can be (I’m definitely the poorest kid on my class, well, bottom 10% anyway) and on that first day I make the big mistake to say I like Madonna when somebody asks me what music I like, and basically this is the end of my life in that school, for the rest of the year I’m bullied so badly I have to leave (being called a fag of course for liking Madonna).  And this traumatizes me so much that for the following 13 years I completely lose an interest in Madonna and I only allow myself to listen to her music again in 2005 when Hung Up is released, a few months after I’ve come out and I’m not scared of people making assumptions about my sexuality anymore 

And despite all this I’m not getting the new song much anyway.

10 comments:

Timmy said...

But does she show up in your dreams? She does in mine. And in my dreams she is my BFF. odd isn't it?

London Preppy said...

timmy: Ha ha BFF with Madonna must be the most common gay celebrity dream

Dick Pics said...

i feel the same way, but about bette midler. though it's more her films i like. i've never really heard her music. the first wives club was divine! oh god i can't believe i just said that. i'm so gay. excuse me while i go do something butch.

semistraight said...

When I think of Madonna I see an old wrinkly hag spreading her legs as soon as a camera starts to approach her :-X. She was a lot better during her nude-hitchhiking-days, unfortunately those are long gone :-/.

Bolt Upright said...

Isn’t it sad how music snobbery and little kid meanness transcend all cultures. I, too, remember being relentlessly mocked for my musical taste for all the same reasons and for also making the HUGE mistake of innocently announcing that I really liked John Stamos on Full House when discussing favourite TV programmes. Never lived that one down!

And how sad that those little fuckers ruined your enjoyment of Madonna for so long. For me, hearing and dancing to the club version of “Frozen” was life-changing and is a memory I’ll keep for so many reasons. In fact, I think “Ray of Light” is my favourite Madonna CD ever. Still, can’t wait to hear the real version of “4 Minutes” even if it might better be suited to Timbaland’s Shock Value than a Madonna album.

Richard said...

I do that too but with Whitney Houston. I don't know if I'd listen to the same song 50 times, though, but I do sometimes spend entire nights just watching her live performances on YouTube. I really like Mariah Carey too, but Touch My Body was a little disappointing so I didn't mention her in the same regard as I did with Whitney.

Trybaby said...

OMG that is so horrible. People are such assholes. Don't worry karma will kick them in the balls when it'll hurt the most.

Jamie said...

Unfortunately, I just don't get '4 Minutes' either. As much as I love Madonna (and Justin/Timba for that matter) it's the first time I'm forcing myself to listen repeatedly in the hopes it will grow on me. It hasn't. Still I'm hopeful that the final version or video will change it for me. :(

Bolt Upright said...

Everyone, have a listen. Still rather low quality file, but no stupid DJ. Tick tock tick tock tick tock.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qofrWYvgvs

London Preppy said...

dick pics: Tsk tsk tsk...divine! Shame on you :-)

semi: Well, people do grow old. Sometimes gracefully, sometimes not

bolt: If I ever had children, one thing I'd tell them would be to not give a fuck what other kids say to them

richard: I don't really like mainstream pop that much, but that's why I get excited about a Madonna record. Because I know I will be hearing it a lot over the next few months. Yes I'm very keen on every new release by Brett Anderson, but who's ever gonna play that in a shop or on the radio

trybaby: Kids are fucking mean, aren't they

jamie: That's what I'm trying to do as well. Make i grow on me. I do have high hopes for the beat on the HQ version though

bolt: Cheers