So there are around 10 questions left from the Q&A session, but I’ll leave those for now. Hope that’s OK – it took a full week to answer the rest of them and I want to get on with writing stories again.
And on Friday the 29th of February, the new Madonna single leaks.
It’s Friday night and I’ve just come home from a work night out (people getting pissed / fights with strangers / gossip / backstabbing / the usual) and I’m checking some music messageboard I always read and find out that there’s a rip online of 4 Minutes from some French radio station that played the song long before anyone’s allowed to.
And the file is really low quality and there’s an overexcited French DJ shouting on top of it (“nouveau Madonna”, “produe by TImbalann”, “boo!”) and you can hardly hear the beat or Madonna singing, but that doesn’t stop me from…
…staying up for the next two hours playing it on repeat and trying to figure out what it’s like and how annoying these horns are likely to get over the next 10 months, despite the fact that I’m really tired and I want to go to bed and around 2am I literally have to hold my eyes open to stop myself from falling asleep…
…calling Scott to share the news, who doesn’t give a shit and is asking me why I keep listening to it if I can’t even hear it properly (I don’t know)…
…texting and messaging Bryant on facebook, who’s the biggest Madonna fan I know and proceeding to analyse and review the new song from the low quality clip we’ve both heard 50 times by that time…
Then I go to bed.
I don’t know why I’m so interested in Madonna, I really don’t care about other female singers who can be classified as “gay icons” (Bette Midler? Cher? Barbra Streisand? Kylie? None of them for fuck’s sake), but I guess Madonna has always been in the background as I’m growing up.
Her face is so familiar I sometimes mistake her image for my Mother, and this is not a joke. And some poignant moments involving Madonna in my life so far are:
1) I’m in primary school, I’m – what? – 7 years old and I’m talking to some girl who’s a few years above me and I remember claiming to like Madonna and she says no you don’t, name 3 songs of hers if you do and I’m too young to remember song titles (especially in English which I hardly speak at that point) and I guess she wins that round, but where the fuck is she now, hmm, I bet she didn’t stay up on that Friday night obsessing over the LQ French radio rip
2) I’m 11 years old (maybe) and I’m at the summer house with my sister and Mummy and Daddy and they’re sitting in the garden outside and I’m on my own in the living room watching the Blonde Ambition tour that’s on TV and I keep turning the channel over every time somebody comes in and walks past, because I cannot be seen watching that Like A Virgin performance where she’s faking masturbation on the bed
3) I’m on my first day in the first year of secondary school (12 years old?) and it’s a really pretentious snobby private school and all the kids are fucking tossers, like only rich kids can be (I’m definitely the poorest kid on my class, well, bottom 10% anyway) and on that first day I make the big mistake to say I like Madonna when somebody asks me what music I like, and basically this is the end of my life in that school, for the rest of the year I’m bullied so badly I have to leave (being called a fag of course for liking Madonna). And this traumatizes me so much that for the following 13 years I completely lose an interest in Madonna and I only allow myself to listen to her music again in 2005 when Hung Up is released, a few months after I’ve come out and I’m not scared of people making assumptions about my sexuality anymore
And despite all this I’m not getting the new song much anyway.