And because I can't write clubbing stories well and anyway there is no way I can do justice to the madness / surrealism / randomness of spending 7-8 hours in a maze of dark rooms with hundreds of half naked people you don't know but interact extensively with, I have decided to just post some pictures and intersperse them with text messages I sent and received during that time, plus some quotes of things that I said or were said to me and my friends.
Text at 0811: Which loos?
Quote: "Do you ___? We need to wake up XXX"
Text at 1141: We're now at the loos. Come here?
Quote: "What job do you do?" "I don't want to say" "You're a rentboy, aren't you?"
Text at 1256: Well, I came back but couldn't see you. I'm upstairs in the bar where the front doors are.
Quote: "You should know who I am, I've been on the cover of your magazine twice"
Text at 1805: Still here, lights came up. You?
Quote: "Why are you still wearing your top?" "It's my way of standing out"
Text at 0812: Upstairs somewhere? If you find a bottle might also help.
Quote: "Yes, you're very hot too, but I can't do anything"
Text at 1110: I'm queuing for the main toilets. Wanna ___
Quote: "Listen, it's been good talking to you, but I think I'm going to be sick. I'll go find my boyfriend". "Yes, be sick first and then find your boyfriend"
Text at 1138: I'm in the main room with XXX and the American guy from the gym
Quote: (Person A to random person) "Can you stop licking my face?" (person B observing all this to person A) "I think you've handled this well" (person A to person B) "Thanks, I try not to be rude, because then people say you have an attitude" (person B) "That's true. But you have to draw the line somewhere"
Text at 1153: I'd like to but it's kinda fun here. We're on the small stage.
Text at 1236: I'm ___. Come back!
Quote: "Can I fuck you?" "I've got to go and find my friends"
Text at 1300: We're at the main toilets, Donnell ___
Then I come home and I eat a pizza and a big chocolate cheesecake and some noodles and an asparagus and stilton soup and two chocolate brownies and after vomiting I have a bath and watch 3 episodes of Family Guy and 3 episodes of Malcolm in the Middle and go to bed.