Friday, 21 March 2008

Friday 21/03/08

On Thursday evening I have four days of not going to work ahead of me.  And on Thursday evening I’m finding this 19% comforting and 81% upsetting, because I can already recreate the feeling of despair, hollowness and bone-crushing sadness really that will come on Monday from 2pm onwards. 

So I go to the gym and then I go home and then Scott comes to mine and we head out.  For this outing I have chosen to wear a pair of G-Star jeans, white Lonsdale trainers, a grey/red stripey G-star polo shirt and a look that says I have emptied my mind of all thoughts, but I know there’s this underlying sorrow that will never go away. 

And we go to this bar in Soho where Scott’s friends from Matinee are working and we hang out a bit with them even though they’re all massively muscly and they make me feel anorexic and we also __ and then we go upstairs where Brendan is with some of his friends and we hang out a bit with them too. 

Then I take the tube and go home and watch Frasier and go to bed.

On Friday morning I want to go and get some shorts, because I may or may not be going clubbing again very soon (= I may) and there’s nothing that I have and I want to wear.  So I go to Bershka and Banana Republic and finally Armani Exchange, where I get some grey knee length shorts for £65 and then I go to the gym. 

Then I go to the gym, and this is a new gym that I don’t usually go to (I’ve been there 3-4 times) and they have this very annoying foreign woman working in reception who always asks me if I want to buy one of the crappy sports drinks that they sell there on the way in.  I don’t know how she came up with this ingenious idea, but it’s really needy and it makes me cringe. 

So the conversation this time goes like this: 

She says, after scanning my card (in heavy Eastern European accent): You want drink for your workout? 

I says (in heavy Southern European accent with a very slight British enunciation though which instantly gives me the upper hand): No thanks, I’m alright. 

She says: But you need hydration for your workout 

I says: It’s fine, water hydrates me too 

She shouts and laughs (cackles, really): No it doesn't! 

I says: Did you just say that water doesn’t hydrate? 

She says: No, I does.  Lucozade better though.  Has sodium 

I says: Fine, I’ll eat some salt 

She says (undeterred): You wanna buy bottle of water then? 

I says: No, I’ll have the free water instead thanks 

At that point I’m thinking of adding, In fact I was planning to buy a protein bar, but you’re way too pushy and I’ve changed my mind, but I don’t say that, because a) it’s too petty even for me and b) I feel sorry for her, she’s stupid, she’s foreign, what else do I want?  I can’t be too much of a twat. 

Then I work out.

12 comments:

Dmom said...

Oh the pushy ones i feel for you one of the most annoing breed on the earth. I love your blog ive been reading it for about 2 weeks now.

kim said...

I can’t be too much of a twat.

come again?

Timmy said...

The gym I go to has an internet bar and a place where you can buy a smoothie, sports drinks, bottled water, food, etc. And a place to watch the telly, read the paper...a lounge.

So one day they have one of their employees walking around the gym floor with a small cart. In the cart she has bottled water. Nice touch I think.

So she walks up and says, "Would you like some water?" I say, "Yes." She says, "I need your membership number to charge your account?" I say, "No thank you."

OK...if I wanted to buy water I could have done that myself in their lounge. And she didn't ask, "Do you want to buy some water?"

They never did that again after that night!

Dick Pics said...

maybe you should get a home gym.

Tim in Italy said...

Well, you have way more patience (manners?) than I have. But then I work at a shipyard and you were gently reared. About 3 sentences into that conversation and I would have told her to put a sock in it and pushed past. Then I would have gone and plugged up a toilet. I can put up with a lot, but scornful, pushy ignorance suffers a very low threshold with me. Now, if she had been hocking chocolate bunnies...

Neil said...

Get your American readers to buy the Banana Republic stuff for you here. We can ship it, and it will cost you half what you pay there. Trust me - all of the UK is using NYC as an outlet mall these days because of the value of the dollar. DO NOT PAY 65 pounds for shorts.

george said...

if you had scott's dagger wit you you could have stabbed her.....george

kim said...

i love the fact that a google search for reverse pterodactyl gets London Preppy at #4 ...

London Preppy said...

dmom: Thanks guy

kim: "I can’t be too much of a twat.

come again?'

Come again?

timmy: I don't know what the point of all this was - well I guess there wasn't a point that's why they only did it once!

dick: That would be very convenient

tim: I'll definitely be ruder next time. In fact today I was hoping she'd be there again but she wasn't

neil: The shorts weren't from BR

george: Alas I didn't

kim: Does it? Brilliant

kim said...

come again?

Ilovedick said...

when i read a blog sometime i had read the same case like this but on my gym i neve here about people said like this so may be i need take care.

Ilovedick said...

when i read a blog somethime i had read a same case like this but on my gym i nevar hear about people said like this may be i need take care.