So here’s a game that we’ll play: you can send me a question and I’ll answer it. Like an interview or something. I don’t know why you’d want to interview me (I write enough unprompted), but I’d like to see what you might ask. And your questions can concern anything – general knowledge, my view on something, what I do, what I think, whatever you want. And I’ll answer all questions I receive, apart from the ones that I won’t.
This is not an original idea of course, many other bloggers have done it, but I don’t want to be original, I want to fit in and I want to be like everyone else (regardless of whether I slip sometimes) you should know that by now.
So please leave a comment with your question, or email me (email@example.com) over the next few days. I’ll collect all the questions and answer that at the weekend. Can everyone participate please, I want loads.
Apart from that, you may remember a story I wrote not so long ago, about this “street artist” in his late 30s, who stands on an empty box of bananas dressed as a Roman soldier and makes his respectable living begging passers by for loose change. If you didn’t read that story please go back and have a look here; there are pictures too you’ll like it.
So anyway, on Monday on my way back home I’m on the tube and I shamelessly pick up a free newspaper and start glancing through it. (Quite frankly I need a break from Kafka's claustrophobic terror stories). And I see a story in there about this very person and this very person has apparently been picked up by the Royal Opera House and he’s’ playing the role of the executioner in the brand new production of Richard Strauss’ Salome.
The story tells us that bodybuilder DM (allegedly aged 35 – in the same way that I am 17), was spotted performing as a half-naked Roman centurion in Covent Garden by leading director DMcV. The director said: “I thought that he had just the right body for the part. But he also had the ability to move well and particularly importantly, to stand still, which is necessary for the role of the executioner”.
Now apart from the obvious fact that this director sounds like some cruisy queen who trawls the streets of London in search of impressionable younger (and older, much older) muscle boys…
…for fuck’s sake, Salome is a performance I really, really wanted to see and now I want to see it even more. Unfortunately it’s completely sold out. I don’t want to see it for DM’s naked arse in it, but surely that’s an added incentive. Now if you had a spare ticket you’d be doing me a big favour. I’m not willing to pay of course.
Here’s a picture of DM in Salome (with his gigantic arse)
Apart from seeing the story myself, a couple more people have mentioned it to me. First, a reader emails me today copying me the article (because he remembered me having written about the guy) and he also gives us the following information:
- My boyfriend actually knows this guy, kinda
- They used to work together for a short time at a well-known sports supplement store (___)
- Sometimes they worked out together
- He's a bit weird and he lives in a hotel apparently
The second person who mentions the story to me is Orville. And Orville sends me a text and says: “Why can’t you get cast as the executioner? You hang around Covent Garden enough”. When I point out that a) I am 1/3 of the size of DM and my presence on stage might be a tad underwhelming not to mention that I can’t stand still for very long (which appears to be the main casting criterion), Orville says that he doesn’t know about the size, but he has definitely seen me stand still for long periods of time, in fact even when I wanted to move I couldn’t. I don’t know what this might refer to.