And I’ve received dozens of questions by now, maybe it’s even in the hundreds I don’t know, so what I thought I’d do is put them into categories so it’s easier to answer them. And I’ll answer a few categories per day over 2-3 days, and the categories we have right now are:
London Preppy – Human After All
Sex & Drugs
Books, Music and Film
Death Becomes Me / You Have Killed Me
Why I do the things I do
Of course these categories will most likely change by the time I get round to writing the posts – hopefully I’ll come up with something funnier. But you get the themes we have already.
Anyway, on Wednesday night I come home to find out that Greek TV is showing the selection of the song that will represent Greece in the Eurovision Song Contest which is on in a couple of months.
Now, readers outside Europe might not be familiar with this annual cultural landmark, but in a nutshell it’s a competition where each European country (40-50 of them) enters a ludicrous song designed to appeal to the rest of Europe and/or demonstrate how fucking great this country is, and then they fight it all out in one big ridiculous TV show one Saturday evening in May – where viewers vote for the winner.
People watch this show ironically and to take the piss, but I can assure you I fucking don’t. I. Take. It. Seriously. And even though I have very little interest in Greece otherwise, and I feel most comfortable with at least 3,000 miles between us, I always support them in every international competition. I want them to win everything in the Olympics, I want them to win the World Cup, I want them to win Eurovision. Then after they win I can turn my satellite TV off and continue living on London and making a very conscious effort to erase y past, forget how to speak Greek or how their alphabet goes etc, but I still love them on some level (deep inside).
And on this TV show on Wednesday we have a shortlist of 3 songs to choose from and from what I can see these songs are:
a) ‘A chance to love’ by a woman called Chryspa. Watching this song, it’s quite obvious that it’s not going to win, but on the positive side the performance features a dancer who I recognize, because he’s English and he lives in London and this one time when I was in Fire (a club) and vomiting in a bin in the corner of the dancefloor, he walked up to me and said “that’s dead classy”, which was kinda funny, so I call my sister and tell her that
b) ‘Always and Forever’ by a man called Kostas Martakis. This song isn’t going to win either but at least it’s sang by a guy who’s quite pleasant to look at even though his smile is a little bit too gummy as Scott points out
c) ‘Secret Combination’ by a woman called Kalomira. This song is the hot favourite and it features pseudo-ethnic Timbaland-inspired beats, 4 dancers who take off their tops to reveal the letters making up the word L O V E, and the nonsensical lyrics “My secret combination, boy you have to try it hard, to win a destination, in the centre of my heart”. Quite obviously I’m 100% behind this song. Thankfully, it wins
And I’m afraid we haven’t heard the end of this, because I will certainly be watching Kalomira in the final on the 24th of May and telling you all about it.