So yeah on Tuesday I go to the gym and I do legs and abs and I spot Threesome Guy who’s also working out there and he’s on the running machine. We all remember that Threesome Guy is a gym guy who is kinda sexy and has a reputation for having threesomes with couples. Well, he used to have threesomes with one couple according to the Gossip Guy from the gym anyway and I’ve decided to take Gossip Guy’s word for it.
And I go to the water fountain 2-3 times while he’s running and on the way back I always make sure to catch his eye, but I’m not welcoming or friendly obviously – instead I look at him like he just killed my Mother or like I’m about to kill his.
Later in the changing rooms he’s also there and after my shower I stand facing him still in my underwear and I choose to not get dressed yet, but eat my post-workout chicken wrap right there, glancing at him at very frequent intervals. He does keep looking as well.
Then, still in my pants, I finish my wrap and I walk up to him, sort of approaching him like I’m going to tell him something and maintaining eye contact, but just before I get right in front of him, I make a slight turn and throw my chicken wrap wrapper in the bin. Then I go back and get dressed because my job there is done.
On Wednesday in the office I’m wearing trousers from Zara and shoes from Hugo Boss and a belt from Hugo Boss and a shirt from Zara. And this shirt is very fitted and kinda tight, but don’t think anything too obscene, it’s still appropriate for an office environment. Well when I say appropriate for an office environment I mean that if people didn’t know you were gay by then, they would definitely start talking if you turned up wearing this, but it still looks nice and smart.
And here are a couple of pictures of me wearing this shirt taken in the office toilets, so you can see what I’m talking about.
And I turn and look at my left sleeve and I can see this happening, so I quickly stand up and whisper to Pam (over the partition) and say look what’s gonna happen, and I continue to flex my left arm and then the button pops and it ends up across the corridor on another colleague’s desk, a good 10 feet away, narrowily missing her head.
Then somebody starts laughing – me? Pam? The girl I nearly hit? I’, not sure – and then everyone looks up (about 8-9 people in my team) and my boss who sits behind me says, what was that and I say nothing and go and collect my button and then my boss says no really what was it and I say my button popped, maybe next time I should buy a bigger size shirt and then I go in the toilet and take a picture of the offensive sleeve with the rip and the button missing.
The best part is that lots of people (anonymous naturally) have started leaving comments and they tell him off for giving the wrong example to people or something or nothing, which I find quite hilarious, because as I pointed out in a comment that I left…
…this is not a scientific blog that needs to state facts accurately, it's just a blog recording his experience and at the end of the day he can write whatever the fuck he wants. And if he messes up and destroys a few people's lives who take his wrong advice, hey that's cool by me.