Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Wednesday 23/01/08

On Wednesday at work my sister calls me and she tells me that she’s had a zodiac map drawn for me (or something like that – I’m not really paying attention) and that the zodiac map reveals that this year my life is going to go through a complete overhaul, everything is going to shift, the changes will be overwhelming, I will come out of this a different person. Not to mention that I will have my brush with fame, a brush that was predicted to my Mother by a psychic when I was 19. And this is what my sister and Mother do with their spare time (= constantly) between gossiping about friends, family and neighbours, meddling in other people’s lives and reading décor, lifestyle and fitness magazines.



Armed with this new knowledge I go to the gym where this complete overhaul doesn’t seem to have kicked in yet, as Hairy Guy is there and still blanking me. I pull myself together and do arms and abs and some back for good measure and go home, where…

…I turn the TV on and Frederik’s new show in on Channel 4. And this is a show about dieting and slimming products, diet surgery and extreme weight loss regimes (or so I’m told by the Channel 4 website) and in this first installment Frederik oversees a magnificent social experiment, a potential breakthrough in medical science, the dieting equivalent of the movies Freaky Friday and Big: a superskinny undereater swaps diet and lifestyle with an overweight overeater.

At this point I remember that Frederik is a friend who admitted to me recently that he once overdosed on Xenical – a prescription weight loss drug – which led to a loss of bowel control with hilarious consequences (story here). So I watch this programme for a bit trying to see if he will slip that overweight overeater any Xenical at some point, but he doesn’t seem to do so or at least he doesn’t do so in front of a camera.

In any case, maybe this series is worth watching just to see if the Xenical story will resurface at any point, perhaps told by Frederik to some unfortunate binge-eater, as form of encouragement in a touching one-on-one moment sitting behind the desk at his surgery, leaning forward holding the overeater’s hands: “Yes Sharon, I, too, am concerned with maintaining the ideal body weight. But unlike you, I have access to potent prescription drugs smuggled from Venezuela”.

Finally for today, have I bought the world’s biggest skiing mask or do I have the world’s smallest head or are they all supposed to look like that? Try to picture this surrounded by snow and mountains and French though, don’t just look at me lying on the floor in my London flat.

PS. Thanks for all the hits so far, yesterday the blog went over 250,000 visits which in some parts of the world is a quarter of a million. That sounds so much better so we'll call it that. A quarter of a million.

15 comments:

NGM said...

Wow, that is a big mask, surprised you didn't see Heath Ledgers death coming with those things on.

Bolt Upright said...

Good call on getting virtual reality googles instead. Who needs all that cold and wet and chair lift madness when all one needs from a ski vacation is hot chocolate, a sauna and a sore Swiss ski instructor in desperate need of massaging.

London Preppy said...

ngm + bolt: So I should be hoping for the worst snowstorms ever in France then

Tim in Italy said...

Hmmm...Seems that somehow you managed to buy the Elephant Man's ski mask. But, hey, you can wear that and still look good.

A complete change of life, eh? So, while you're lounging around the ski lodge trying to look like James McAvoy in "Atonement" you'll meet a beautiful muscle guy from Sydney who happens to be a multi-millionaire and who will declare his undying love for you before revealing that he only has six months to live and wants you to help him spend all his money before he dies... or you'll get caught getting head in the sauna and spend the next 6 months in a French jail on a morals charge.

I think it will be one or the other.

London Preppy said...

tim: At least it makes my nose look small!

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

I like the mask. (But I like big sunglasses, so I might not be the best judge.)

The flashback to the Frederick post made me realize I miss your song playlists.

It also made me wonder why anyone would share that kind of information about him- or herself.

London Preppy said...

frontier: Well, he said it to me - I'm not sure he'd share it around. Maybe I'm too blame for posting it!

kim said...

the mask is so big/heavy you fell over?

not a good sign for the slopes.

Bobby Vanquish said...

Those goggles are over-sized, unnecessary, attention-grabbing, garish and vulgar.
London P, in a word, they're perfect.
Nice one.

Steven said...

Before reading the entire post, I scrolled down and thought, "Why did he take a picture of a thumb?"

Turns out, it wasn't. Oops.

DAVID said...

That mask does seem rather large for you! At least it will keep most of your face warm, especially if there are blizzard-like conditions. Also make sure you bring a beanie (a knitted hat) that goes over your ears, as they can freeze too.

London Preppy said...

bobby: Thank you. You've got the right idea!

george said...

with your balaclava, beanie, hat, scarf, tees, jumpers, jacket....etc....that mask maybe a little bit small......you should go and exchange it for a bigger one. maybe wear your ski outfit to the shop and try the mask on to get the right size and make sure they compliment your ski outfit.....george

Marcus said...

That mask makes you look like a welder from Birmingham or something like that. Put on a pair of open coveralls and it would look kinda hot if you strike the right pose.

billybudd said...

But does it come in red?