Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Wednesday 09/01/08

On Tuesday after work I go to the gym and at the gym I don’t see Hairy Guy or anyone else we know, but I do see some new guy that I think maybe I should obsess about for a bit, just to pass the time and make my workout more enjoyable. 

It does help to have someone you fancy in the gym, or maybe even somebody you don’t fancy but can convince yourself that you do, because then you can look over at them between sets, give them “the look” (whatever that is), time your visits to the water fountain so you meet them there and brush shoulders with them, go in the changing room and try to catch glimpse of them with their top off, that sort of thing. 

I don’t know how much I can say about this guy from Tuesday, because I know that he’s gay and goes out “on the scene” (what a wonderful characterization to fall under), so he’s probably reading this right now, in which case hi, and no, I don’t mean you. 

Anyway, I do most of these things described above and the new guy doesn’t seem that fussed about me, which never fails to infuriate me and depress me in equal measures.  Then I text Donnell, because we’ve mentioned this guy before (and Donnell likes him) and I ask: 

“You know this quite ___  ___/___ guy who comes to ___ gym occasionally and you think is fit?  What do we know about him?” 

Then Donnell says: 

“Nothing.  The ___ guy at the gym said he had threesomes with ___.  Why?” 

Then I says: “Oh nothing, I just want to fuck him” 

And this is as far as we’ve gone with this one, it might be the beginning of a beautiful thing, it might now.  I’ll let you know. 

Now then, as we know it’s a new year and this year I need to put on a stone in weight.  So out goes the diet with no carbs and toilet paper, because that diet serves well Geri Halliwell when she wants to shoot the video for It’s Raining Men, but it doesn’t serve well me, an aspiring fat guy.  Well, not fat, just bulky.

And here is the new diet:

0845 (before leaving home and whilst checking facebook/blog comments/mybigmuscle/the rest of the internet): A big bowl of Special K with soy milk 

0945 (after arriving at the office): Two bananas

1100 (getting hungry and bored): A low fat fruit yogurt with added nuts (bursting)

1315 (sitting at desk reading some book because you’re banned from going on the internet): Two chicken breasts with cherry tomatoes and wild rocket

1415 (starting to feel hypoglycemic because you haven’t had anything sweet since the 29th of December 2007): One drop of honey – no bigger than two raindrops (pour on finger and stick in mouth without touching teeth)

1500 (extremely bored and still 3 hours before gym time): One tin of lentils (cold, straight from the tin)

1600 (two hours before the gym – need to load on carbs): 250g of wild rice and a low-fat chicken wrapper from Boots 

1715 (almost ready to go now): One banana and a can of sugary sports drink – not Red Bull, you’ll be up all night

1930 (right after the workout): Protein shake

2030 (sitting at home watching Frasier or Family Guy or similar): Half a roast chicken, salad

2215 (getting the munchies again after the 4th Frasier episode): Half a melon

2345 (last thing you do before going to bed, well apart from reading your book): Two egg whites – no flavouring

 And that’s all.  Wish me luck in my attempt to be a little bit fatter.


street said...

God u're life is boring!

Gabriel said...

diet all sounded pretty okay until the bit on two egg whites. i hope they are cooked?

London Preppy said...

gabriel: Yeah, microwaved. Can you actually have raw egg whites? I'd rather have that if it's not unsafe

Trybaby said...

Wow you weren't kidding when you said you eat through out the day. That's quite a load of food you eat. I wonder how many chickens you eat a year? Probably over 600.

Yeah it's not that unsafe as long as they are relatively new eggs. My friend used to do that.

Wow you must bring a huge sac to work to carry all that food.

Really did they ban you from using the internet at work?

CSS said...

i once dated a 'food is fuel' guy. Pretty fucking boring. However when you talk about it LP its absolutely hilarious! Keep it up and i can enjoy the tradgedy of it all with out actually having to suffer it :) (of course i'm probably just jelous at the fact i will never be able to distiguish more than 4 or my abdominals)

Tim in Italy said...

Raw eggs are actually better for you than cooked eggs. Chances of an egg being off is about 1 in 30,000 and that 1 is going to come from an egg laid by coop chickens. Choose organic, free-range chicken eggs. If the shell is cracked don't use it. Also, best not to blenderize or beat them.

My breakfast is 2 raw eggs and two teaspoons of bee pollen.

And you thought I was just another pretty face.

blueyedboy said...

I'm fairly sure there's raw eggs in loads of stuff (like mayonaise etc.) so it can't be that bad for you. I know there was all that hysteria ages ago about salmonella in eggs, but the FSA reckon they only found the bug in 3% of eggs they tested in 2006 - depends if you want to take the risk. Easy enough to microwave them I guess.

semistraight said...

Your diet sounds quite nice (especially to someone who has been losing around 16 pounds over the last year or so). Personally I don't eat any low/reduced fat products as these taste horrible and I'm having problems putting on (or even keeping) weight anyway.

In regards to sweets I'd say there is absolutely nothing wrong with a slice of cake from time to time (I mean better than that huge chocolate binge you're in for; a couple of days/weeks from now ;)). But honey is a good choice anyway (make sure to get quality honey though, it makes a huge difference)

Andre said...

@ LP: my parents always eat raw egg whites, and they haven't shown salmonella syntoms yet. However, they feed the chickens themselves, so I guess that's why it's safe.. if you get the eggs from tesco, keep on cooking them.

And by the way, it's funny that when you started trying to gain weight I started my own personal diet. As if there was some sort of cosmic mystical balance to keep..

Auctor Ignotus said...

Huh. Bulkier. Like Vividblurry. Very nice.

For those of us colonial dames who still measure our delight in inches, what is the target weight in pounds, if I may ask?

Good luck growing.

Auctor Ignotus said...

Huh. Bulkier. Like Vividblurry. Very nice.

For those of us colonial dames who still measure our delight in inches, what is the target weight in pounds, if I may ask?

Good luck growing.

Auctor Ignotus said...

Huh. Bulkier. Like Vividblurry. Very nice.

For those of us colonial dames who still measure our delight in inches, what is the target weight in pounds, if I may ask?

Good luck growing.

DAVID said...

Whatever happened to Eastern European guy (I can't remember the name you gave him)? Does he still work out there?

London Preppy said...

everyone: so it seems that raw eggs are the way forward then

Also, about the Eastern European guy, no I don't see him at the gym anymore

I thought I did this already said...

I need to read this blog more often. I have been cutting my carbs, but it seems that they are EVERYWHERE. your discipline is inspiring.

Anyways saw this and thought of you. But you're british so it may be old news but oh well no harm in another look:

kim said...

when we were 12 or 13, a friend of mine told my dad he was going to join the army, and being a wise man (and Vietnam veteran) dad explained that he'd need to be able to down 12 raw eggs every morning for breakfast ... so he cracked 12 eggs into a tall glass and offered it to him. The friend refused but I managed to polish off the whole thing ... needless to say I never joined the army and 14 years later still can't gain much weight.

London Preppy said...

i thought: I hadn't see these thanks (people - look). Kinda off putting kinda interesting...

Orchis said...

This is from

"Food Standards Agency advice, which precedes the introduction of the Lion Quality Code of Practice, recommends that vulnerable groups such as the elderly, very young, sick and pregnant women should eat eggs that are thoroughly cooked. To minimise any food safety risks, use Lion eggs, keep them in the fridge and use before the best-before date. The Lion Quality mark ensures that the eggs you buy come from hens vaccinated against salmonella."