On New Year’s Eve Scott and I meet in the afternoon and we go to the gym, the gym where Aussie PT works. And Aussie PT is there and he’s training and we’re now on speaking terms with him, but not on speaking terms like you would be with a friend, but on speaking terms like we are his clients and we pay him money so he feels obliged to be polite to us every time we walk over to him and chat incessantly. But that’s OK with me, I have no pride when dealing with Aussie PT.
Well, Scott mostly goes over and talks to him, I am no good at chatting anyway, let alone to somebody whose perfection breaks my heart. So I only talk to him once to arrange our training session later this week and ask him what he thinks we should focus on, what my weakness is.
Then we finish from the gym and I go home to collect some stuff and then I go over to Scott’s place to spend New Year’s Eve.
There’s only the two of us and the TV and some music on my laptop and there’s also a lot of dust, for some reason Scott’s flat is so dusty this evening. Lots of dust.
So we sit there and wait and at some point (is it 2230, is it 2330), we find ourselves taking pictures of each other in underwear in front of a mirror, and some of these pictures are:
And at that point I get really upset, because I think I like what I see, but it also occurs to me that this is an impossible standard that has taken over my life and I will not be able to maintain in the long term. And what do I do when it’s not possible to look like that anymore, what kinds of issues am I going to have then and am I bound to hate myself. And also I think what does Aussie PT think when he looks himself in the mirror (since he’s a 10/10 compared to my 7/10), does he feel the pressure that he has imposed on himself like I do? Is he faced with a mixture of self-satisfaction and self-loathing? So yeah, as I said it’s pretty dusty in Scott’s flat.
Then just before midnight we turn on BBC1 and there’s a programme on called New Year Live and it shows a big crowd gathered at Somerset House and there’s a stage with singers/bands playing. And this is where you come in to help. I see this little guy playing his guitar and singing and I don’t know who he is, and you have to tell me. Can anyone identify the person below? Once again, he was in BBC just before midnight and he was singing something about “standing here in the rain”. Name please:
Then suddenly it’s midnight and I make Scott stand up because that’s what we do in Greece, you can’t let the year change sitting down because it’s bad luck.
Then we continue with the evening’s programme which involves watching TV on mute, listening to music, dusting away and then by 0100 I am feeling unwell for some incomprehensible reason so I go in the toilet and make myself sick four times. Then, even though the original plan was to stay up all night, we go to bed by 0200, and this was NYE.