Tuesday, 1 January 2008

Tuesday 01/01/08

On New Year’s Eve Scott and I meet in the afternoon and we go to the gym, the gym where Aussie PT works.  And Aussie PT is there and he’s training and we’re now on speaking terms with him, but not on speaking terms like you would be with a friend, but on speaking terms like we are his clients and we pay him money so he feels obliged to be polite to us every time we walk over to him and chat incessantly.  But that’s OK with me, I have no pride when dealing with Aussie PT. 

Well, Scott mostly goes over and talks to him, I am no good at chatting anyway, let alone to somebody whose perfection breaks my heart.  So I only talk to him once to arrange our training session later this week and ask him what he thinks we should focus on, what my weakness is. 

Then we finish from the gym and I go home to collect some stuff and then I go  over to Scott’s place to spend New Year’s Eve. 

There’s only the two of us and the TV and some music on my laptop and there’s also a lot of dust, for some reason Scott’s flat is so dusty this evening.  Lots of dust. 

So we sit there and wait and at some point (is it 2230, is it 2330), we find ourselves taking pictures of each other in underwear in front of a mirror, and some of these pictures are:



And at that point I get really upset, because I think I like what I see, but it also occurs to me that this is an impossible standard that has taken over my life and I will not be able to maintain in the long term.  And what do I do when it’s not possible to look like that anymore, what kinds of issues am I going to have then and am I bound to hate myself.  And also I think what does Aussie PT think when he looks himself in the mirror (since he’s a 10/10 compared to my 7/10), does he feel the pressure that he has imposed on himself like I do?  Is he faced with a mixture of self-satisfaction and self-loathing?  So yeah, as I said it’s pretty dusty in Scott’s flat. 

Then just before midnight we turn on BBC1 and there’s a programme on called New Year Live and it shows a big crowd gathered at Somerset House and there’s a stage with singers/bands playing.  And this is where you come in to help.  I see this little guy playing his guitar and singing and I don’t know who he is, and you have to tell me.  Can anyone identify the person below?  Once again, he was in BBC just before midnight and he was singing something about “standing here in the rain”.  Name please:

Then suddenly it’s midnight and I make Scott stand up because that’s what we do in Greece, you can’t let the year change sitting down because it’s bad luck.  

Then we continue with the evening’s programme which involves watching TV on mute, listening to music, dusting away and then by 0100 I am feeling unwell for some incomprehensible reason so I go in the toilet and make myself sick four times.  Then, even though the original plan was to stay up all night, we go to bed by 0200, and this was NYE.


Joe said...

You really think that you're a 7/10? have you looked around at humans lately? Aussie PT might be a 10, but even not knowing him I'd vouch for you being 9/10.

London Preppy said...

joe: I really do think that it's not a pretense of false modesty. I can explain: I do realise most people have less trained bodies than mine; most people fall into 1-5/10. Then fewer people are a 6, even fewer a 7, even fewer an 8, etc, etc. And in my whole life I have only seen possibly 4-5 people who are a 10/10 (in real life). So I consider myself a 7/10 compared to a universal average of maybe 3-4/10, not 5

Tim in Italy said...

Firstly, it doesn't matter what PT thinks or what pressures he subjects himself to. That's his story.

Your story will be different, at least in that you have means of making a living other than by training others to look like you. Also, you are looking into the future with 27 y/o eyes and, believe it or not, you will chill out as you get older and your priorities will change. Trust me on this one.

The trick now is to make as much money as possible so that you can afford top flight rent boys when you're 40. Or just keep Scott and then you don't have to worry, because he obviously loves you and has the patience of Job.

London Preppy said...

tim: I do expect my priorities / viewpoint to change and I'm really hoping they will. At the moment I'm stuck within my way of thinking though (I do find it hard to stop obsessing about things or not worry too much as you may have guessed!)

Will said...

Happy New Year L-P,

I think you should get a dog, it might take your mind off the 'perfect' body subject. haha

Oh well, here's to a healthy, happy new year:)


BY23 said...

Really hot pics, but I still think you focus way too much on your body. Don't forget there is at least *a little* more that NEEDS one's attention... I'd feel kind of stuck and lost searching for "more". Aren't you a little afraid that when, one day, you look back at the times when you were young, you just think "well, at least I had a buff body". But then again, I'm a hopeless case on its own.

Jim said...

I was recently looking at some old photos of me in my 20's.

I do not have a perfect body now.

I did not have a perfect body then.

But man, I wish I had that 20 year old imperfect body now. I also wished I used that imperfect body for more nefarious purposes in my 20's.

Timmy said...

Who knew that I at the stroke of midnight I was participating in a Greek tradition? Actually there was no place to be seated so I was forced to stand up all evening.

James said...

Your priorities will likely change as you get older. If they don't, maybe you'll look as good in 20 years as you do now, just older.

London Preppy said...

by23: The reason for the focus and the concerns about the body, is that it's the part of me that's the most difficult to maintain and the easiest to fade away. In terms of other looks, I don't really make a big effort to keep them (i.e. I don't exercise my face :-) ) and in temrs of personality/intelligence, well I won't lose these things as I get older. Hence the panic!

timmy: Well, good luck awaits you all year long then!

Trybaby said...

I understand, it's maddening thinking about it. For example I worry that I haven't used my youth to it's most potential. That I should live it up and party, and work out a bunch and have a nice body and sleep around because I'll never look better than in my youth. I think about this and I feel my brain on fire. It drives me up the wall and yet I feel paralyzed.

george said...

do worry yourself....by the time you get to that age you will have other things to worry about.....wrinkles, cancer, arthritis, your internal bodily functions failing you.....all the good stuff....

i have noticed you don't take pics of your full body. you seem to obsess over your arms, chest and stomach. why is that? do you have skinny ankles, under developed calves or fat thighs?......so so much more to worry about. besides the world might not be here long enough for you to get old....see what are you worrying about.......take care sexy.....george

A K I S said...

Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy New Year filled with love, joy, health, security and prosperity! All my best! Kisses, Akis

Wayne Cronin said...

Hey LP, I think the guy on the BBC show is called Richard Fleeshman, actor turned singer.

Wishing you a happy New Year!

chabang said...

should i be concerned that when viewing those pix of scott my first thought was "those pants need ironing" and my second was "oooh, so does the bedspread"?


London Preppy said...

trybaby: Cool, I'm glad you understand the concerns. I don''t get people who say they have absolutely no regrets about what they've done in their lives, like if they went back they wouldn't change anything. As I've said before, I'm absolutely all regrets, mainly because there are so many choices in life I'd like to at least go back and try a different one

george: My calves are kinda crap, I can't help that. I don't have any complaints about my ankles and my thighs are OK. But you're right, the possibilities about future concerns are endless!

akis: Efxaristo poly file, kai episis se ola :-)

wayne: Thanks for replying, I have found out though that the guy I was talking about is called Jamie Scott. A reader emailed me the actual video!

chabang: I can honestly say I have never ironed either of those items!

Andre said...

While Chabang noticed the wrinkled fabric, I couldn't help noticing the Pikachu on the shelf. Looks like my sister's stuffed Pikachu.. does it make a sound when you squeeze it?

London Preppy said...

andre: Scott's flat is full of random crap. He collects everything and never throws anything away

dit said...

very nice pics. I am sure your cuteness will stay with you. I agree with tim.