Thursday, 3 January 2008

Thursday 03/01/08

Obviously I’m stressing about what to wear on my first training session with Jack, which is later this week even though I can’t exactly tell you when, so on Tuesday I go on ebay and buy new trainers and on Wednesday lunchtime I go to American Apparel and buy a new vest.  Of course the new trainers won’t arrive in time for me to wear them and when I try on the vest at home later it doesn’t fit right so I’m not going to wear that either. 

On Wednesday I’m also expecting a call from Jack to set the time of the session and this call comes when I’m in Argos buying some hair clippers because my last ones broke and then I answer the phone and Jack talks to me about the training session like he’s reading from a script and I just say “yes” and “sure” and sometimes “ok” at all the right points. 

Then I leave Argos and I kinda hope that I get hit by a bus so that the paramedics come and put me in an ambulance and go through my phone to find my emergency contact in order to notify them and they see the last call being from Jack and they ring him up, mistaking him for a relative or my best friend or the father of my children.  But I don’t hope that enough to actually throw myself in front of a bus, which I take as a healthy sign for my mental state: I’m still in control. 

After work I head to the gym to meet Donnell and Scott and on the way I pick up a Red Bull because Scott told me that’s what Jack drinks before a workout, and even though I had made a promise to myself to never drink anything else apart from water and/or paint stripper, what’s good enough for Jack is good enough for me. 

So at the gym I work out with Donnell and we do exercises I’ve stolen from Jack via the method of observation, also known as stalking, and then I go on a sunbed because that’s what Jack does.  Then I shower and head home and on the way I try to picture Jack at my funeral, telling people: “yes, I loved him, I really did” with a tear in his eye and people trying to console him, but there’s no point, nothing they can say or do will bring me back. 

Now then, let’s see if this works.  I asked the other day who the singer guy with the guitar that I saw on TV was and one of you correctly identified him as Jamie Scott – so thank you.  The reader who identified him also sent the video and I like this performance so much and I thought I’d share it. 

Look at him, such a beautiful boy, singing his little song about standing in the rain, smiling away, it’s just too nice.  Of course he’s also lucky enough that it’s actually raining and every time he sings that line people cheer.  Oh yeah, this single is out on Monday apparently and if he does well, I take full credit for it because I’ve pushed him on this blog, which is obviously more powerful than the Times review section and a Rolling Stone cover combined.

I don't care if in two months' time he's ubiquitous and as annoying as James Blunt, right now we like him.  Even though I don't think he'll ever be as annoying as James Blunt, because this boy is charming and handsome and as we all know appearance is fate.


Finally, here’s another idea I’ve had that you might be able to help with.  I want my own wikipedia entry.  For this blog of course.  Mind you, I’m not sure how wikipedia works.  Can anyone just add an article about anything?  If so, would one of the readers here be interested in making an entry for London Preppy?  I’m sure if someone volunteers to do this you’d know what to write (people who email me provide a lot better descriptions of the blog style and tone than I ever could) and I could also give you information on visitor stats, hits, whatever.  And of course this would have to remain anonymous, I’d want the focus to be on the blog, not on me as a person.  Anyway, let me know.


Christopher said...

Firstly, don't step out in front of a bendy-bus. Someone got dragged for more then a mile before anyone realised quite recently.

Secondly, I had a wikipedia window up, so tapped in London Preppy and it responded:

Abercrombie & Fitch
Relevance: 100.0% -

London Preppy said...

christopher: I guess tube is the way to go? (on the Central Line at Oxford Circus of course, not some District Line snail paced relic in Ravenscourt Park that will drag me for miles)

For fuck's sake what's their problem! It's like they've taken over the word preppy as their own!

Bolt Upright said...

I quite like "List of Sin City yams" that appears as Relevance: 83% on the second page of a wikipedia search for London Preppy.

Clicking it brings up the warning:
"The tone or style of this article or section may not be appropriate for Wikipedia". I wonder what they would make of this blog?

London Preppy said...

bolt: I just scanned through that article, saw the word "dismembered", stopped reading!

Gabriel said...

as a veteran of using cute personal trainers (my leanings towards eastern europeans and there are plenty in sydney), you will find yourself sliding into a 12 session contract after one session with jack. how can you refuse the company of a fit man?

Trybaby said...

I could do it for you. I also know someone that is an admin on wikipedia. The thing with Wikipedia is that you can't just put anything on there, it has to be of some kind of importance, or that it's well known and people would be looking for it. There is an entry of Perez Hilton [I feel gross for typing/thinking that name] and I deem your blog multitudes better than his. Also he is fugly. And you trounce him in the beauty department.

And I'm sorry to say I don't agree with you on that boy, his looks are not for me and his voice isn't either [sounds kinda whiny]

Neil said...

This was the funniest blog entry ever. You should have a talk show. Or at least a radio channel.

London Preppy said...

gabriel: Well the plan is to win him over his my amazing personality and charm and become his best buddy. So I'm fucked then...

trybaby: I would certainly like you to do this for me, I believe you'd make it a really good one. Let me know what I can do to help? (email you if you like)

neil: Thanks! I hope you appreciated the bus story the best, I know I did

semistraight said...

Ah, what drama in your descriptions regarding Jack...but to add even more to that, I doubt that you are "notable" enough at this point to warrant a wikipedia entry :-X. However, if you keep (successfully?) pushing new artists...who knows, that might be enough.
Well either that or one of those Jack fantasies (i.e. stuffed corpse) coming true.

Btw, I'm all for you taking up rowing. As wikipedia says: a sport "commonly associated with being preppy".

One last remark: sun damaged skin! *cough*

Lord Cardigan said...

Would Wikipedia need to know your real identity?--Or should they phone AXM?

Trybaby said...

Cool I'll try my best.

Is this some what close to what Jack looks like? Cause this is quite close to perfection in my opinion.

just trying to get a visual, unless you are gonna be sneeky and take a picture of him.

Jon C said...

I love the line: But I don’t hope that enough to actually throw myself in front of a bus, which I take as a healthy sign for my mental state: I’m still in control.

I think you could easily warrant a Wikipedia article for you personally, what with your AXM and other magazine ads.

Jeff said...

hmm, getting a new page onto wikipedia is not easy :-/
they delete articles all the time because its not important enough or doesn't get enough views yadda yadda yadda.
deletion policy
best of luck with that

GB said...

Yeah LP, anyone can create a wikipedia entry about anything. But wikipedia have a policy on whether something deserves an entry or not, and apparently article deletion is one of the main activities of their full-time administrators. So I'd be careful if I were you, cool to have a wikipedia entry, but if it gets deleted ... ?

GB xxx

London Preppy said...

semistraight: I did rowing for 4-5 months, but a) I was crap and b) got tired of getitng up at 6am on Sundays

lord: I'm sure anyone with 35 seconds on the internet can come across my "true identity" :-)

trybaby: Jack probably has more shoulder mass and definition, even though this guy is pretty perfect too. I haven't seen the rest of Jack by the way so I can't comment on that

jon/jeff/gb: I wasn't aware they delete pages and you have to be worth it. We'll see eh?

kim said...

a friend of yours (hopefully) trybaby?

DAMO said...

The guy in the vid looks a bit like ur Scott but with longer hair! (in my opinion) in his face I mean.
Axm are asking for models again, i know you said you don't wanna, but maybe you can wriggle ur way into doing some other writing stuff on top too by doing it?