Friday, 18 January 2008

Friday 18/01/08

On Thursday night I’m at home eating and watching Desperate Housewives series 3 and then Scott rings me to chat and I try to tell him a story about some guy we know – well a gym acquaintance anyway – but this problem that Scott has is that every time you talk to him about someone he can never remember them, so you have to give a brief life story beforehand.  Sometimes I have to introduce myself when we wake up. 

So about this guy I say: You know, the guy who comes to the gym where you work and you pointed him out to me the other day saying he has really nice arms and a good chest but you also said that I wouldn’t like him because he has an odd face and he’s too dark.  And then I checked him out and I said that you’re right, I don’t like him and he has a nose like a budgie and stary, bulging eyes and it really takes more than two big arms for me to like somebody.  And the other day I came across his profile on gaydar and showed it to you and we agreed that he looks better in real life and not even his arms are looking that big in the pictures.  And also he has described himself as Caucasian in the profile, even though he is blatantly some kind of mix.  And when I saw him again in your gym I noticed and pointed out to you that he also has acne scars on his face and you should be careful who you recommend to me in the future, I mean where are the standards. 

Well even after all this Scott still has no clue who I’m talking about, so by that time I’m tired and bored and I don’t even know where my original story was going so I leave it there and say that I have things to do now (iron my shirt, finish eating) and we hang up. 

On Friday at lunchtime, American Girl and I have a plan.  American Girl is a colleague and I will refer to her from now on as A Girl, because I don’t like American Girl anymore.  Anyway, the plan is that A Girl is going to have her nipple pierced.  This is partly because she enjoys the pain and partly because she enjoys the shame.  The pain is something only she can benefit from, but the shame I can take part in too, because after she does it, we can talk about it in the office and create some excitement.  Understandably, we are so bored we’ll just take anything – it’s like my tattoo, that kept everyone busy for a couple of days. 

So when A Girl tells me that she wants this done earlier in the week, firstly I direct her to the place that did my tattoo and Scott’s willy piercing and secondly I tell her that I have to also be there and film it.  A Girl accepts.  This is particularly exhilarating for me, as I have never seen a girl half naked – in real life – before. 

So on Friday we both go there, A Girl strips off, I get the camera phone out, some hairy Italian guy sticks a bar through her nipple, A Girl gets her kicks, I get mine, we leave, she goes for a beer, I go and buy a chicken wrap, we meet back in the office. 

It is now Friday night and I’m home alone.  Over the last few days I’ve been thinking about Sydney a lot of course.  It kinda terrifies me.  But more and more I realize that I want to do it.  And in a particularly embarrassing and rare display of emotion (do I have feelings too?  maybe I should just take 10mg of Valium before I finish typing this), I am wondering if there are people who would be willing to hang out with me if I come there.  Sort of help me adjust, tell me which buses to take, where I can buy protein powder, advise which bars to go to on a Friday night and stand there with a glass of water (no ice or lemon) and look at the floor not talking to anyone, which gym to join, that sort of thing. 

I know October is a long time away, but I can’t help freaking out already because I’m used to London, London is mine but Sydney isn’t.  And that’s scary.

13 comments:

Stephen said...

I'm half way through Glamorama and suddenly this all makes much more sense.

London Preppy said...

stephen: Thank you!

Stephen said...

Be aware that if you are over your clubbing phase, and you go to Sydney you might slip into it again albeit with much inferior clubs to London. Sydney is a much later city than London (apart from London's super clubs - Trade et al) in that the bars / pubs don't really get going until after 10pm.

As for your other practical questions regarding Sydney, you'll work it out pretty quickly. There's protein powder everywhere. It falls like manna from the sky around Darlinghurst / Surry Hills. And there are Fitness First gyms all over now, although they are insanely busy after work.

thirtytwohundred said...

Regarding Sydney, it's not that it could be uncomfortable, it's more like a minimal disruption to routine. At the most, all that you really will have to deal immediately with is a place to live and a income to support that. I think that's pretty much a given wherever you are.

The minute you into the city your going to be surrounded by people that;

1) Want to be you.
2) Want to be with you.

That's just how it is here, and when you start to get a bit of a following from the latter, you're already in the scene. Guys that are hot (irrespective of how intellectual they are) will always fit in very quickly to a gay mecca like Sydney. I just don't suggest you try to speak your mind to all the people you meet first, because at least 50 percent of them will be particularly dim (but fucking hot all the same).

Gym wise, two very good 'gay' gym's and the generic chain of Fitness Firsts with the large gay followings on Oxford St and Bond St.

As far as the nightlife goes, it's something you really need to experience for yourself. Everyone needs to have a knee-deep experience in ARQ before they decide if they will go back as often as they can or high-tail it up to the Shift. Plus if your coming in Oct, you should make it for Sleaze.

If you get stuck though, you can always come stay with me! I'm a bit of a cook, so you won't need your scales...

Trevor said...

So why don't you like A Girl any more?
I'm sure you won't need your hand held when you arrive here in Oz - there'll be a London Preppy Welcoming Party at your choice of night club, with Protein supplements attached to the invitations, a glass of water on entry, polaroid cameras free to use at all the cubicals... (digital cameras in the colonies? what?) and everyone looking bored, even when they're not.
You can also continue your Gym Tour of the World by reviewing all the Sydney Gyms before you buy into one eventual winner - you may even get sponsorship!...

October is a long way away.

London Preppy said...

stephen: Well, it will be a change anyway (with regard to the clubs). As for the gyms, they are insanely busy here too, but at least in Oz they are 3 times as big on average (well, the one I went to while I was there was)

thirtytwo: Thanks, that's the kind of information and insight I want before I get there. Knowing more about the place (even with the drawbacks you describe) makes me more relaxed. By the way, I did go to the Bond Street FF last time and liked it a lot

trevor: I do like A Girl, I don't like the nickname American Girl for her, that's why I changed to A Girl. Can we really have that party, I like it a lot!!!

Tim in Italy said...

...which lube to use, what park has the hottest traffic, which nude beach is best, the date the fleet comes in...

London Preppy said...

tim: Of course. All important considerations

Jon C said...

"I know October is a long time away"

What's happening in October?

London Preppy said...

jon: I'm considering moving to Sydney. See post here http://londonpreppy.blogspot.com/2008/01/wednesday-160108.html

Jon C said...

Right. Got that. But, I don't think you ever mentioned that October was when you were going to go.

London Preppy said...

jon: Oh yeah, that's the vague plan

Gary said...

LP. Can I recommend the book 'Then We Came To The End' by Joshua Ferris to you?

It's not top end lit, but it's very clever and sly, and is a story about life in a modern office. That sounds dreary, but the author really nails it. His writing style is very similar to yours, and the office he describes I also see in your posts about work. I think you'll like it.

Gary