Thursday, 13 December 2007

Thursday 13/12/07

New guy in the gym.  On Wednesday I finish work at a reasonable hour and then I go to the gym where I’m planning to do arms and abs.  There, as I’m getting changed, I see The Guy. 

This is a guy that I’ve seen once before (I think last week – no wait, I was in Paris then, maybe the week before), but I didn’t let myself get too excited or write about it here, because I thought he was an one-off, a random stranger that happened to use my gym and I’ll never see again.  Now that I’ve seen him twice, we can all get thrilled.  

Here is what we know about The Guy: 

-       He is the sexiest human being ever (more of which later)

-       He gets to the gym and finishes before me, because the two times that I’ve seen him he was in the changing rooms getting ready to leave

-       The first time that I saw him I caught him before he showered so I’ve seen him with his shirt off.  He is muscly and he has a hairy chest.  I’m not usually a huge fan of that, but this is part of the reason why this guy is special

-       The second time (this week) I only caught him as he was walking out (dressed)

-       Usually, if somebody goes to the gym before 1700 I would assume that they don’t have a job and I’d be slagging them off right now.  In this case, I am willing to make allowances 

Anyway, I’m sure I’ve spoken about people favourably here previously but this is different.  In fact I have identified the following groups of people that I might find attractive: 

1)    The comedy crush.  This category includes those boys that aren’t that great and you sort of fancy them as a joke.  The people you wouldn’t really admit to your friends that you like, but there’s something there, you know?  A major example of this category is the Eastern European guy from the gym 

2)    The really good looking guy that you just don’t like.  These are people I recognize are attractive, but I just don’t fancy because they are not my type.  Examples include celebrities like David Beckham or Brad Pitt 

3)    My usual type.  This includes all clean-cut, white, handsome muscle boys that I usually go for.  I understand this is not what everyone likes (people have different types from more rugged guys to skinny indie guys), so I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.  I guess examples of this type include Scott or even myself 

4)    The Guy.  Now then.  This new gym guy.  I can’t stress this enough, but this person transcends all looks and types.  I defy anyone to not see him and want to have sex with instantly on the spot.  Or if you can’t be bothered right now, at least follow him home, attack him when he’s going in, hold him at gunpoint and keep him there as a slave.  I am serious, everyone that I can think of will like this person.  Donnell who has a Brazilian fetish, Enid who’s a straight girl, Bobby who goes for Eastern European porn stars, Matty who’s a straight guy, Nicole who likes Matty, Mean who doesn’t like anyone after two dates.  Everyone. 

OK, now that we’re all excited I will make sure to keep you up to date with how this goes.  My plan of action is: 

-       To try to leave work on the dot every day so I can catch him again

-       To try to spy at his gym card when he’s in the shower, find his name and address, buy a gun and kidnap him as described before

-       To encourage anyone who’s interested to go to my gym between the hours of 1630 and 1745 so we can stalk him as a group 

Now then, in less crazy news, but not by a lot. 

We all know and love this picture of Scott and me: 

 

At some point, I was so into this guy that I took the photo, had it blown up and printed onto a huge canvas and hang it in my bedroom.  It's a bit like the picture that the Beckhams had in their living room when they first got married of Victoria mounting David on a pool table.  You know the one.  So yes, mine is equally classy.  Yes, yes, I know, but you have to take into consideration that I was young and this is my first relationship. 

Anyway, at this point, I would very much like to get rid of this picture.  On reason is that I think it’s amazingly tacky (it’s funny how your views can change in a couple of years) and the other reason is that if I ever split up with Scott (i.e. he next dumps me), I won’t be able to look at this thing staring back at me.  So how would you like to buy it of me?  Let me remind you, it’s huge.  It’s a mounted canvas (on a wooden frame) and the dimensions are 31.5 x 47 inches.  That is 79 x 118 cm.  So quite big then. 

This is an amazing piece of art, not tasteless at all, a very normal possession that goes with every décor.  Are we convinced yet?  Well here are some more pictures that will help you make up your mind. 

You can…

...pose with it...



...sleep with it...


...take a shower with it...


...make it cook for you...


...get intimate with it...


...hug hug it...


...err...that's all.

Offers at the usual email address / comment section.  Thank you.

30 comments:

Will said...

Hey L-P,

You always put a smile on my face!

Maybe you should put it on ebay? I'm not saying that no one will want it, but just a thought!

Will:)

London Preppy said...

will: We shall call that Plan B!

Gabriel said...

i have never thought about so many things you can do with a picture other than hang it on the wall. you get the prize LP!

London Preppy said...

gabriel: Is my prize the picture? Nooooooo!!!

David said...

i'd buy it if i lived in london, which i unfortunately don't... what does scott think of this?

Superdrewby said...

I think you shoudl just give it to me as a present ( I will pay postage to Australia)

just think, I can walk down the street like some moron in a sandwich board , one side the picture of you two and on the other some innane promotional comment for some unknown gay dating line, clinic or other gay business.

I think it's the prefcet option really!

Will said...

L-P,

How much do you want for it?

will:)

Steven said...

Have a threesome?

Nah. Wouldn't work.

I would easily snap them in half.

London Preppy said...

david: Scott doesn't mind

superdrewby: Ha ha, I like that idea a lot - it is the right size for a sandwich board

will: "Taking offers at the monent"

steven: It is a bit fragile - I did try lying on it to take a picture but I didn't want to break a hole in it (even though I suppose this might come in handy)

Superdrewby said...

I have decided to start a campaign to convince you to give this to me, you can read about my campaign here

DAMO said...

you so need this on ebay

be silly not to

really silly!



this new guy in the gym
maybe you could get a pic of him for us?

NGM said...

LP,
can not work out how i would actually shower with the poster, maybe we need a you to post a demo pic of how to do such a thing?

NGM said...

how much for a poster of the THE READER ???

Angelo said...

I think it's a really nice photo. I'd make an offer for it, but having it shipped to Manila would probably cost more than the photo itself. Any possibility of a smaller size of the photo?

By the way, Ebay IS a good idea.

Jon C said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Can I just say how much I love reading this blog? How you come up with these ideas, I'll never know.

I love the "sleep with it pic", though it doesn't look like anyone is in bed with it. Also, I love how you are able to block the eyes with your arms/hands. :)

Timmy said...

Is it a scratch and sniff photo? If so, I might be interested in buying it.

Lee said...

I think superdrewby is right... becuase he is always right.

PS - he's my husband.

London Preppy said...

superdrewby: Ha ha!!! Let's see how this campaign goes then...

damo: If I do see the guy again I will definitely take a picture and I don't care if I get thrown out

Jarrod said...

you should give it to superdrewby, because his dog will attack me if you dont.

Dan said...

Go on.... give it to Drew... put him out of his misery... he looks very pathetic when he begs haha.

D

george said...

that pic is nice and you are even covering scott's love handle....your such a good bf....he would never dump you...kill you maybe?......george

Virpi said...

I'm with Superdrewby on this one. Such a special (and very multi-purpose) work of art should not just be sold like any old product. That would be plain banal!

Instead, you should let Drewby do what he does best and be innovative and original. (Of course, we'd be expecting regular updates on his site to see how and where he has used the pic to promote whatever you two decide to promote.)

brenton said...

I'm with Drewby, we want this down under! We'll take it to mardi gras and dance with it. We'll sit on bondi beach with it, we'll take it to the opera house!!!

Trevor said...

Superdrewby wants your picture for FREE and to use for promotional purposes? Mon Dieu! Where's the emotion in that? Cold hard clinical commercialism! I'm voting for change. See here to see what could happen if he wins!

wally said...

LP just give it to the funny aussie superdrewby....but us sussies tend to be a bit outrageous from time to time and show off..just think a part of you and scott would be honorary aussies..how lucky would that be...lol then his hubby says he is always right.. thats love!

Kenny McCormack said...

I'm joining the superdrewby campaign. Might do well as a 'Chloe' a la Young&Jacksons.

Tom Cat from Bondi Beach said...

yeah : give it to Drew : and then you would have an excuse to come to Sydney and make sure he is treating it well !!

Snickers said...

I think it would get a whole new lease on life if given to Drewbie!,
given the proximity of his highly visible apartment to Sydney's golden mile,Oxford Street you can pretty much guarantee that your pic would be the next best thing to a billboard always on display for everyone to appreciate as they stroll/cruise by outside!

bense1983 said...

Yeh, give it to Drewby! Hopefully he'll replace it with the Herb Ritts hanging on the wall that I wake up to when I venture down to Sydney and stay with him. Some new AM eye candy would be nice ;-)

firstimpre55ion said...

Another vote for Drew! I can only imagine the things (other than what he's listed on his blog already) he could come up with! He's quite the creative person mind you!

Ooh he can have the poster take a Tour of Australia or something...Maybe even Brenton could do some artistic shots of it! :D

Bry