So on Friday it the work Christmas party. I usually don’t find myself in bars or amongst groups of people who drink a lot, mainly because I’m an agoraphobic hermit, but the office Christmas party is a different thing and I kinda feel obliged to participate in the alcoholism.
And because I actually hate every alcoholic drink there is, I decide that the best way to get to the required state is to down a glass of something every half and hour or so – to get it over with, just one gulp and it’s gone, like taking a pill. So I do that with 4-5 glasses of white wine over dinner and then we go to some bar where I have a number of gin & tonics (I don’t remember exactly how many), which I’m told that at least won’t make me fat instantly compared to other drinks.
I don’t really talk about work people / stories / events on here and I’m still not going to, but some memorable points include:
- Leaving one of the achievement awards handed out at the dinner earlier in the bar toilets like Amy Winehouse did for her Q Award for Best Album a couple of months ago
- Having a conversation with a colleague who came out to me
- Having a conversation with a colleague who should come out, I mean COME ON
- Leaving just in time before the carnage begins and everyone starts making out with each other and then pretends that nothing happened on Monday
- And that’s all I want to say about work related events
So I leave the bar and as it happens Scott is near where I am so I go over to say hi and our friend Taylor is also there and blatantly I’m quite drunk and stumbling and stuttering and maybe dribbling a bit and both Scott and Taylor agree that I’m much more fun when I’m drunk, which might be the case, but it really isn’t an achievement at all as I usually I’m not fun at all, so anything is an improvement comparatively.
Then I take the tube and go home and pass out, but not before posting a short blog heavily borrowing from Bret Easton Ellis’ The Rules of Attraction.
Now then, a couple of issues left over from previous posts.
a) A reader who would like to remain anonymous (with good reason I guess) has created the following two images, which I am very confident that will drive the sale price right up (when the first offer arrives anyway)
b) Superdrewby has started a campaign here (also supported by Aussielicious here) for me to send the picture to him (he will cover the postage costs), which he will then utilise for “diverse promotional activities”. I have to say that fun though this is I am a bit hesitant, mainly because I did pay £150 to have this made and I would like some reimbursement please and also these promotional activities sound a bit dubious to say the least.
Other than that, what also happens this weekend is this. You may remember how I wanted to pass a note to the Eastern European guy in my gym in order to assist him with his coming out / destroying himself / going to gay hell. Well guess what, I’m not the only one who thinks like that because my friend Mean just found himself on the receiving end of such a situation.
So Mean is at the gym working out and when he finishes and goes to his locker, he finds this:
Of course you can’t see this but don’t worry here is a verbatim:
Hi, I hope you don’t mind me doing this. Never done before, but just had to this time :-) I have seen u around the GYM and would love to get to know you. I am abit scard to ask u in person as I don’t know how u are gonna react. If u are up for it, why don’t u send me a txt and we go for a drink? 07_________8. Would love too :-) xxx INITIAL
(I have left spelling mistakes in, have edited the phone number and left out the initial obviously)
So when Mean tells me that, I tell him well I hope that you got in touch with him and Mean says well I sent him a text and unfortunately I know that this is going to be disappointing and I’m right because the text only says “thanks for leaving me the note, I’m flattered and it’s nice of you but I’m straight”.
And this is how Mean either:
a) broke somebody’s heart in the gym (if they genuinely liked him and wanted to play with him
b) ruined somebody’s blog by not playing along (if the person who left the note actually writes a blog and had chosen Mean as his Eastern European guy, which is very likely I guess)
Mind you this has given me new ideas about what to do in my gym, so it can’t be that bad.