Saturday, 29 December 2007

Saturday 29/12/07

On Thursday daytime I can’t remember exactly what goes on, but I’m pretty sure it involves watching TV, reading past issues of the numerous fitness, lifestyle and décor magazines my family appears to be addicted to and avoiding to eat chocolate.  Which brings me to my New Year resolutions. 

I have never made New Year resolutions and never intended to, because I just think it’s a bit pathetic.  It reminds me of an overweight 33-year-old Heat reader (female, blatantly) who goes around before Christmas telling all her friends her New Year resolutions are to diet so she can drop two dress sizes, stop drinking sambuca shots when she’s out and not sleep with men she meets in suburban clubs on the first night.  Then, 9am on the 1st of January finds her on the bus back home with a splitting headache and a KFC Twister sticking out of her Accessorise handbag, having fucked Tony on the couch in his pokey Dagenham East flat. 

So yeah, this year my resolutions are: a) stop eating chocolate and sweets and b) to actually start making a real effort in the gym, where I’ll actually stay longer than 25 minutes and try to break into sweat for once. 

We’ll see how these go then.  Oh yeah, also I’ve decided that I’m going to book one session with the Aussie PT for myself, to get some shoulders tips, because he has the best shoulders in West London and shoulders is my weakest point.  

During that personal training session of course my aim will be to become his friend, an indispensable companion that he can hang around with now that he’s new in London and a future training partner of course, because I really want to continue working out with him, but not fork out £50/hour or whatever it is that he charges.  So I’ll have to attempt to be charming and win him over.  This might be a difficult task, because I’m completely out of practise – I usually try to turn people off with my behaviour.  The last time I wanted to be somebody’s friend was with Matty, but that was back in 2004. 

Anyway, back to Athens then.  On Thursday evening my friend Alex comes over to visit.  Alex is one of only two people I still know in Athens, and I don’t share DNA with.  I’ve known him for about 15 years now. 

Alex is very helpful on this Thursday evening, because he plays around with my Mac and he manages to connect me to the internet, by stealing our neighbours’ wireless connection.  And this is why I started posting the blog that day. 

At this point I’d like to take back everything bad I’ve ever said about the Greeks – evidently they are an amazing people that can provide me with free internet connection (because they’re so fucking retarded and don’t know they have to put a password on their service otherwise the whole block can share it). 

By Friday daytime I’m starting to get extremely fed up with being in Athens.  My family are really getting on my nerves, I’m missing the gym, I need to get back to London. 

Highlights of why the family are annoying me are: 

-       My sister must be the only 30-year-old in the Northern hemisphere who doesn’t have any real responsibilities or tasks.  She’s somebody who doesn’t need to set her alarm clock in the morning.  Actually, this isn’t true.  On Friday, I hear her alarm go off at 1100.  1100!  Who sets their alarm clock for 11 o’clock in the morning?  What exactly is the danger there?  That you might sleep through to 3 o’clock in the afternoon?  It’s unbelievable.  And it’s not like she had done anything the night before.  She just goes out on week nights whenever or just stays in and watches TV until 2-3am. 

-       A general lack of privacy around the house.  These people live across 4 floors in a huge house and they still manage to be within 2 metres of each other at all points.  I’m at in a room reading or typing this or whatever, and a different person walks in every 10 minutes and asks me how it’s going and what’s new.  There hasn’t been a single time I’ve been in the toilet and somebody hasn’t knocked on the door (despite there being another 5).  I’m really amazed how I ever managed to have a wank when I was 16

 Anyway, during my time in Athens this Christmas I do manage to sneak into the bathroom and take the following pictures of myself (as you do).  So here's the obligatory shirtless shot, a face shot with no eyes and the same face shot with eyes but no face.  I think this might be the first time I've shown my eyes on here.

That’s all I‘ve got.


kim said...

dude, you're in Greece: get a tan man!

(I mean that in an almost-nice way)

London Preppy said...

kim: But I'm going for the complete opposite look. I want to be as pale as. I'm definitely not going on sunbeds, not using any creams and not staying in the sun. The few times when it's sunny in London these days I cross the street to walk in the shade.

Thanks for noticing it's coming through though!

Tim in Italy said...

Are you home yet? Because this narrative of Greek house arrest is driving me nuts. I'm dreading the part where you all wind up showering together. I live in this big old rambling place near a small marina. According to the city, 8 people can live here and I'm here wonderfully, marvellously alone... okay, a couple rent boys every now and then, but you get the idea. You know what your tales of communal conviviality are doing to me? Giving me panic attacks. If you must continue down this path, at least shoot a couple of them to thin out the herd.

Timmy said...

So when you pretend to be my uber-hot boyfried for family gatherings, you must walk around shirtless and flex.
Now...if I print the pic of the eyes and then print the pic of the rest of your face I might be able to see what you really look like. On second thought, too much trouble. :-)

Andre said...

Ehm, I felt like I had to comment about this:
Who sets their alarm clock for 11 o’clock in the morning?People like me.
What exactly is the danger there? That you might sleep through to 3 o’clock in the afternoon?Sounds impossibile, but that's exactly what has just happened...

So I guess that your sister and I should wake up earlier as this New Year's resolution :)

Jim said...

Yes, yes, it all comes together now... After taking all three photos and putting them together to reveal you face as one piece atop your naked torso I totally see what you've been talking about.

That body is a disaster. No wonder they wanted you for the cover of a magazine - as a cautionary tale. Double up those efforts at the gym!

And now that I've seen your eyes actually on your face... tsk, tsk, tsk. No amount of plastic surgery can correct all the imaginary issues you claim are holding you back. How on earth could that mug get more preppy? You are wise to stay pale. All the preppies live in the cold Northeast of the states and labor exclusively indoors.

Perhaps you could invite your sister to move to London with you and create a sitcom based on the inevitable hilarious hijinks?

franck said...

And such lovely eyes they are, too. See, I voted for eyes in the poll recently, so I'm glad you finally showed them.

DAMO said...

dunno if u already know, but i just skimmed thru axm nd they havent prited any replies to ur article :-( that ofcourse doesn't mean they didn't get any. :-)

bastards lol

nice hair colour, it seems much lighter than it sometimes looks.

Superdrewby said...

OMG your family is bad?

Try mine on for size, in between the dementia, alzheimers and general stupidity they could turn a teddy bear insane!

London Preppy said...

tim: Just got home now. nice!

timmy: It's a deal!

andre: If it weren't for the gay thing (you) I could see a great future with my sister!

jim: Well thanks for the comments, I'll try to believe that the issues are just in my head. We'll see how this goes.

The sitcom idea is brilliant, one thing's for sure I lived with those people I'd have A LOT more to write here!

franck: Thanks. By the way these are some crazy abs

damo: I actually ripped one open at the airport and checked, I know :-( Oh well!

superdrewby: Maybe it's a universal complaint then!

semistraight said...

At the moment I'm home most of the time (preparing for final exams)..having no fixed schedule I just can't manage to get up early (and thus, yes I too set my alarm clock at 11 sometimes..but I actually often can't make it out of bed before 3 in the afternoon, then I'll stay up way too's a vicious cycle ;)).
On the other hand: less time awake during the day = less family time, so that's a big plus. Who knows, maybe your sister is going for the same approach ;P?

Regarding the eyes etc..well I don't want to repeat myself. If that's a better phrasing: You're making me feel skinny and ugly today (I'm having a bad day..will sneak into bed in a short while and set my hopes on tomorrow ;)). You know that any physical changes will never be enough - I suggest trying for other changes.

Mike said...

wow, ur eyes do need work...

Trybaby said...

Really you stay there only for 25 minutes? Wow I guess I'm just not doing it right.

What made you do it? Show you eyes I mean.

Wow my brother is the same, 30 something and unemployed living at home. He just sits in his room all day using the internet not having a job or anything that would require him to leave the house. Your sister does more at least she goes out sometimes. So that makes two. Maybe we can set them up on a date with each other and then we can be rid of them, Yes? Now there is only the question of the dowry?