On Thursday daytime I can’t remember exactly what goes on, but I’m pretty sure it involves watching TV, reading past issues of the numerous fitness, lifestyle and décor magazines my family appears to be addicted to and avoiding to eat chocolate. Which brings me to my New Year resolutions.
I have never made New Year resolutions and never intended to, because I just think it’s a bit pathetic. It reminds me of an overweight 33-year-old Heat reader (female, blatantly) who goes around before Christmas telling all her friends her New Year resolutions are to diet so she can drop two dress sizes, stop drinking sambuca shots when she’s out and not sleep with men she meets in suburban clubs on the first night. Then, 9am on the 1st of January finds her on the bus back home with a splitting headache and a KFC Twister sticking out of her Accessorise handbag, having fucked Tony on the couch in his pokey Dagenham East flat.
So yeah, this year my resolutions are: a) stop eating chocolate and sweets and b) to actually start making a real effort in the gym, where I’ll actually stay longer than 25 minutes and try to break into sweat for once.
We’ll see how these go then. Oh yeah, also I’ve decided that I’m going to book one session with the Aussie PT for myself, to get some shoulders tips, because he has the best shoulders in West London and shoulders is my weakest point.
During that personal training session of course my aim will be to become his friend, an indispensable companion that he can hang around with now that he’s new in London and a future training partner of course, because I really want to continue working out with him, but not fork out £50/hour or whatever it is that he charges. So I’ll have to attempt to be charming and win him over. This might be a difficult task, because I’m completely out of practise – I usually try to turn people off with my behaviour. The last time I wanted to be somebody’s friend was with Matty, but that was back in 2004.
Anyway, back to Athens then. On Thursday evening my friend Alex comes over to visit. Alex is one of only two people I still know in Athens, and I don’t share DNA with. I’ve known him for about 15 years now.
Alex is very helpful on this Thursday evening, because he plays around with my Mac and he manages to connect me to the internet, by stealing our neighbours’ wireless connection. And this is why I started posting the blog that day.
At this point I’d like to take back everything bad I’ve ever said about the Greeks – evidently they are an amazing people that can provide me with free internet connection (because they’re so fucking retarded and don’t know they have to put a password on their service otherwise the whole block can share it).
By Friday daytime I’m starting to get extremely fed up with being in Athens. My family are really getting on my nerves, I’m missing the gym, I need to get back to London.
Highlights of why the family are annoying me are:
- My sister must be the only 30-year-old in the Northern hemisphere who doesn’t have any real responsibilities or tasks. She’s somebody who doesn’t need to set her alarm clock in the morning. Actually, this isn’t true. On Friday, I hear her alarm go off at 1100. 1100! Who sets their alarm clock for 11 o’clock in the morning? What exactly is the danger there? That you might sleep through to 3 o’clock in the afternoon? It’s unbelievable. And it’s not like she had done anything the night before. She just goes out on week nights whenever or just stays in and watches TV until 2-3am.
- A general lack of privacy around the house. These people live across 4 floors in a huge house and they still manage to be within 2 metres of each other at all points. I’m at in a room reading or typing this or whatever, and a different person walks in every 10 minutes and asks me how it’s going and what’s new. There hasn’t been a single time I’ve been in the toilet and somebody hasn’t knocked on the door (despite there being another 5). I’m really amazed how I ever managed to have a wank when I was 16
Anyway, during my time in Athens this Christmas I do manage to sneak into the bathroom and take the following pictures of myself (as you do). So here's the obligatory shirtless shot, a face shot with no eyes and the same face shot with eyes but no face. I think this might be the first time I've shown my eyes on here.
That’s all I‘ve got.