Saturday, 1 December 2007

Saturday 01/12/07

So as we all know I’m off to Paris for a couple of days next week, even though this isn’t a trip I’m very excited about; I mean seriously, what can I get excited about after Iceland?  Nothing, that’s what.  And even though I had promised to myself that I wouldn’t travel south ever again for a holiday, this is a compromise because I wanted to cheapest international break I could get my hands on and Paris was it. 

Anyway, I asked for some gym suggestions in Paris, and an American reader actually gave the most elaborate answer and this answer was this (along with my comments): 

The reader says: “L'Usine if you want to drop major euros to see majorly hot gay guys working out” 

I says:  This sounds extremely unlilely already as I can’t think of anything worse than going in a place where everyone is a lot hotter than me.  I’m not saying I want to hang out exclusively with uglies to make me look better of course, but I don’t want to hang out with super hot guys either thank you very much.  Ideally, sort of mediocre to hot. 

The reader says: “Club Med near Louvre for gay guys who think they're hot shit, only some of whom actually are” 

I says: Oh my, this sound like my kind of place already.  Delusional semi attractive stuck up queens.  That’s where I plan to go and find my Parisian equivalent. 

The reader says: “Espace Vit'Halles for more down to earth/less hot guys” 

I says: Down to earth?  Pass 

The reader says: Gym Louvre for the only combined gym/gay sauna that I know of (50% gym, 50% gay sauna) 

I says: I don’t think I will be gracing this establishment with my presence either.  The only time where I might be willing to go to a gay sauna would be going undercover, in order to write a story for my blog (and NOT do anything with anyone of course).  But even then I suspect I might still find it too overwhelming. 

Anyway, moving on, some more reader / blogger interaction occurred on Friday.  So I’m at work, looking through some extremely important and interesting research data as always, when I receive the following comment from a reader: 

“I've just realised I'm having a business meeting in the same building you work in.

"Look at the view!" they said, and I thought. "Oh, hang on. I've seen this view. This is what London Preppy sees when he's snacking on bog roll and tuna fish."

I think I'm a couple of floors higher, but how exciting. To think - I'm accidentally just a few dozen feet away from all that blank-faced nihilism. Accidental stalking rocks” 

This if course is enough to excite any bored office worker at 1235 on a Friday afternoon and I quickly share it with Pam from the office. 

The next step is to invite the reader to make contact with me, in any form that he might consider appropriate (as long as he doesn’t turn up at my desk). 

Then the readers says: 

‘Bag of maltesers in the stairwell window between the 5th and 6th floors.

Most appropriate thing I could steal from the "fruitbowl" here. I do not believe London Preppy does milk chocolate buttons”

That’s the point when I start loving this reader, so I go and collect my free chocolates.  Then, being a very giving person myself (not really to be honest, just bored mainly) I decide to return the favour, but because I cant find any free foods around, I send the following message: 

I've left a Valium for you in the stairwell window between 6th and 7th floors. That's the most representative item I could think of, plus we have no fruit bowl here” 

So the result is – London Preppy gains: a bag of Maltesers, Reader Who Found Himself In My Building And Was Observant Enough To Notice It gains: 1 Valium 

Let me point out that this is not an invite for everyone to track me down so that I can give them prescription tranqulisers, because that ain’t gonna happen.  Thanks. 

Finally, on Sunday night I’m going clubbing for the first time in 4 months.  During this clubbing event, I am hoping to achieve the following: 

a)   Fall in love with at least 4 attractive hunky men and be tortured inside with feelings of inadequacy

b)    Find something to climb on and dance when the Seamus Haji remix of Overpowered comes on.  Fall off 1 minute in

c)     Share toilet cubicles with at least 13 friends during the night (cumulatively – not at the same time)

d)    Have my picture taken on a stretcher, being carried into an ambulance, with oxygen mask covering my face 

I am hoping to achieve the things above, because I: 

a)   Never lose it

b)    Never chose this way

c)     Never close my eyes

d)    Always… 

And because they: 

a)   Tried to break me

b)    Looks like they’ll try again 

Obviously review of the night coming up.


the one in your dreams said...

well we all aspire to achieve our goals. i look forward to the going out report.

Tim in Italy said...

I'm off to Lyon next week, then to Paris. As God is my judge, if I hear any Engligh/Greek hybred patois coming from any extremely handsome young men, I promise... no, vow... to avert my gaze and run in the opposite direction, then plant chocolates in a stairwell of The Louvre.

Have fun tonight, fun being he operaive word. You don't have anyhing to prove.

GB said...

Paris gyms? I go to the Espace Vit'Halles in Beaubourg because I always stay near there in the Marais and I enjoy their Body Attack classes!

Just for the record, I'm not sure about Gym Louvre being the "only combined gym/gay sauna". Even in Paris, there's also Univers Gym which has been there for many years. The name of the road where the Univers Gym is located translates into English as "The road of the good children", but having visited Univers once and seen the good children at play, I really can't imagine what the bad children get up to!

GB xxx

george said...

this is going to be gold...or i hope it is...your night out that is...can't wait to read about it.....

the stairwell thing is so fantastic.....very amusing. i'm so sure you'll get a stalker in the near

Aaron said...

c) Wild Boys always shine!

nylon said...

Hi LP! You should come here instead, there's about an inch of snow covering everything and it's -9C at the moment... With the current exchange rate you can buy the whole Ralph Lauren store too! Paris is great though, don't miss the Open Cafe.

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

You do realise you've just encouraged people to stalk you. Valium? LOL. What were you thinking? That is hilarious.. a unique gift.

Have fun in Paris.. it might not be your prefered location but at least you're getting away from normality (even if its for a few days).

Hopefully you'll get home in one piece after tonight.. four months is quite a while.. have fun :o)

London Preppy said...

the one in my dreams: Yes, and min aren't set very high!

tim: Excellent - I will be looking out in every stairwell I find. Because I have learnt to trust any strangers as long as they offer me sweets :-)

gb: Cool, I have quiite a good list now (mostly of places to avoid by the sound of it)

george: Eek, nooo! I don't want a stalker please, I hope you're wrong

aaron: Very good. I was wondering how many people would get it

nylon: Really? That doe sound a lot better :-(

soul seared dreamer: I will try to restrain myself. Try